The Word: Accept God's Timing

Announcements:

I am starting a Fantasy Basketball league. I got my ass handed to me in Fantasy Football. It will not happen with basketball. I WILL NOT LOSE!
I visited my bosses church this weekend. VERY entertaining I must say! There was a word but it was so brief and redundant, I won't even bother. I do plan on giving it another chance. It was their 12th anniversary. There was a lot of self promoting and not much of anything else. We'll see if there's only one collection the next time

[UPDATE]: I lost in Fantasy Basketball. Moral of the story, Ain't nobody got time fo' dat! Bosses church was equally full of shit on regular Sundays...



And with that said...
My sister sent this to me and since it 1. wasn't a chain letter and 2. (I means B) it was thoughtful, I'll share. Mostly I'm shocked it wasn't a chain. So read on. There are no threats on your life (sexual or otherwise):
ACCEPT GOD'S TIMING

God gives us hopes and dreams for certain things to happen in our lives, but He doesn't always allow us to see the exact timing of His plan. Although frustrating, not knowing the exact timing is often what keeps us in the program. There are times when we might give up if we knew how long it was going to take, but when we accept God's timing, we can learn to live in hope and enjoy our lives while God is working on our problems. We know that God's plan for our lives is good, and when we entrust ourselves to Him, we can experience total peace and happiness. The book of Genesis tells the story of Joseph, who waited many years for the fulfillment of the dream God had given him. He was falsely accused and imprisoned before the time came for him to do what God had shown him he was to do. Exodus 13:17,18 tells us that God led the Israelites the longer, harder way on their journey to the Promised Land because He knew they were not yet ready to go in. There had to be time for their training, and they had to go through some very trying situations. They wasted a lot of time wondering about God's timing, but God never failed to take care of them and show them what He wanted them to do. The same is true in our lives. God's training period simply requires us to do what He tells us to do when He tells us to do it...without questioning or trying to figure everything out.
FROM SEEDTIME TO HARVEST

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us: To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. This lets us know that we all don't live in the same season at the same time. You should never be jealous of someone who is enjoying harvest while you're still in the planting season. Remember, they had to go through a season of planting just as you are. Seeing the results they are enjoying should be an encouragement to you. Understand and trust that God is doing the very best for you in your present season. Seedtime represents learning the will of God. If you want to be victorious, you cannot afford to get pulled into the world's system, doing what you feel like doing. James 1:21 tells us what we should do: ...get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls.


That was profoundly put...wow..

GOD Laid This BS On My Heart

This trailer is about the NEW NEW Denzel Movie. This one is hot like ROSEWOOD at the end! Check it out. CHRISTMAS '07!!!



And now our feature presentation...
GOD LAID THIS ONE ON MY HEART

Well, maybe he did...

In preparation for my report on church tomorrow, (I'm going to a different Baptist Church. WELCOME TO ATLANTA!) this story is about my girlfriend's ex who is now apparently a stalker.

Tuesday, he keeps calling and texting while we're out to eat. He says he just has to share something because "GOD laid this on his heart". It got me to thinking: Do people come with that church angle just to save themselves from an ass whippin?

Whatever the origin of this ridiculous saying. Just add it to the ever growing list of Church People Cliches that make my ears (and heart: pun intended) hurt every time I hear them.

But seriously, SO MANY people see fit to blurt shit out that - "GOD laid on their hearts" lately. What about all the other people trying to lay shit on you? The devil can also LAY something on your heart. Is it GOD all the time?

BTW - The Ex was abusive and what God laid on his heart was for her to come back to him to continue being abused because God told him that but didn't motivate him to change his ways at all...

We gotta be careful. God may run up to you and punch you in the lip with something too! Or God might lay with your neighbor next door because no one answered when he came by your house. (WHAT WERE YOU UP TO?) God may lay something in your bed. The devil is subtle and God is mysterious. So either way, you are not meant to know what's going on all the time. You better WATCH!

Let go, let God and watch your ass because the devil waiting to catch you slippin!


I'm feeling the last line. Ain't nothing BUT the truth!

What I Learned In Church

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

I went to a Baptist church this weekend. With all the investigations and allegations about Mega-Churches going on, I didn't know what to expect. I actually thought I would get some fuel for my blog on Mega-Churches (it's coming, You know I have to do it). To the contrary, I was pleasantly surprised. No one even mentioned money. No metal detectors (You know, to keep the change out). Not a dramatic amount of hoopin/whoopin and hollerin. Just plain ol' church. A great choir and a good word.

This sermon was the middle of a series on Extraordinary living. I can't say enough how impressed I was. (I ain't leavin my church, but it was good.) The pastor was more than charismatic. He was a word-smith of the utmost degree. He essentially broke down being Christian. If you believe in God, we all strive to be as much like Christ as possible. That is our mission. It's not easy, by any means. But knowing is half the battle.

All of us who call ourselves "Christian" know it is a struggle. The struggle is between the Extraordinary(Christian) life we lead and the ordinary(the rest of the world). We battle ourselves because we know Christ and the journey of being Christian is the foundation. And that foundation is indispensable. EVERYTHING ELSE is dispensable. But we make EVERYTHING ELSE the center and lose focus on the foundation. A house without a foundation is called a Shack or a Shanty. I've lived some places, in some circumstances but I would never and will never EVER call a Shack or a Shanty my home. But that IS how we live.

We make EVERYTHING ELSE the center of our life because we just can't live without… And I'm not talking about bad stuff like drugs, alcohol, strippers, Maury Povich or Lifetime(really what's up Lifetime?). I'm talking about good things. Children, spouses, careers (not jobs), houses, STUFF, money, family, community, church are all blessings. But the blessings are not the center. They are not the foundation. These are all things Christ and his disciples walked away from with out a thought. Not that we all should. But, in our journey to be Christian, how many would? And be honest with yourself. (Really, What's the deal with Lifetime?) I'm at one extreme where I long to be left alone sometimes. At the other are A LOT of people I know who at least have to be on the phone with someone if they are alone for even a minute. Not that you have to be like me but can you for one day?

Extraordinary life is eternal life. And eternal life is what we all seek. So why are we even bothering with the ordinary? In collections/sales/pimping/drug dealing, we called it being hooked. It's when you get caught up in the story either you or the other person is selling and forget what you are selling. You forget your purpose in life and lose. Once you get hooked, the other person's agenda becomes the center. And, good or bad, no one (NO ONE) is on the same path or focus you are. (Married people stop your brains. Just shut it up for a minute.) NO ONE! And NO THING will get you where you want to be. Why? Because you can't take it with you. NONE OF IT!

You may as well be ready to give it away at any moment. In actuality, giving is Christian. It is the essence of sacrifice. But don't go not paying your bills because you gave it all in church. Be honest about what you have to give. Money ain't always all we have to give. (Kudos to Elizabeth Baptist for not being THAT church.) For most of us, it never will be. Be honest with yourself so you can truly keep it real. Remember your foundation and give your self. If you don't know who you are…Good luck with that shit. That's another blog.









You are slooowly on your way to having your own church Bishop Sloan. Welcome to the we don't take checks leave your bank statements at the altar evangelistic holiness hold my mule who in the hell left the gate open municipal principality church of the living repenters of naked dickiness

LMAO! I concede. This blog was fire. :-)!

THAT'S RIGHT!!! NAKED DICKERS REPENT!!!

good reading...

The Week In Review

Since I haven't been able to make church these past few weeks (due to sinning[lots and lots of sinning]NOT REALLY but probably), let's see if I can't get some clarity with a little reflection. In my church, after communion, we kneel to pray. This prayer more reflection time. I usually go over my week and thank God for stopping me from slapping the shit out of people I've come into contact with.

So let's pray:
Lord, thank you. Thank you for giving me patience when customers call to see if the car lot they just drove by has any cars for sale. Help me stay strong when everyone around me keeps asking me to lie. (You know - Am I getting on your nerves? Sale this car. Does this car run good? At $700? This 2002? Absolutely!)
Please Lord, look out for my people. Help me find a way to convince my cousin to stop lying on his dick about ugly women. Forgive all the nakeddickers (8/25 Word of the day 2) who just couldn't sit they triflin asses at home on Black Out Friday. Forgive "The Dog", he didn't mean nigger in a bad way. Plus, he doesn't even know Al Sharpton and he never knew we now say "nakeddicker" instead. If anything, forgive his nakeddickedness. Maybe, I'll forgive him for not reading my blogs.
Bless Denzel and his new movie. I know so many people couldn't wait to watch the bootleg. I hope they were as eager to pay $10 (or more) to see it in the theater. Bless T.I. when he goes back to prison. He's a cute little guy. He may need your help. Bless Oprah. She didn't know women could be pedophiles and on the down low too.
As always, bless the children. Just because they come from retardation and nakeddickin' they don't have to be doomed to the same.

(Meditation...)





In Jesus' name.....














SLAP!!!!!!

LMFAO, you are hilarious, I love it!!!!!!!

So I've heard its best to pray "Lord have your will" than to request "specific blessings" because it minimizes our disappointments when our prayers aren't answered in in what we'd consider a timely fashion or according to our liking. And often times, what we pray for may not be in our best interest or the better interest of whom we've asked God to bless. Perhaps God has already blessed Oprah, The Dog, T.I., Denzel (and dare I include the NAKEDDICKERS too) with the very same "issues" you've requested their deliverance from... we're all in need of the occasional reality-checks to keep us real with God!


Thanks for the blog invite... I've enjoyed this mini trip into your would of thoughts... and am looking forward to reading more. Peace out!

What's a Nakeddicker? =)

LMAO!!!

Black People Don’t Read

From before Instagram and SnapChat, we tried to warn people. Instead, we chose to join the idiocy, myself included. (After much protest on my end) Today, I'm not satisfied with pictures of words on Instagram and 140 characters on twitter.

The problem is not literacy. The dullards who follow Trump, the morons who watch Fox News, The fools who listen to Rush Limbaugh can read. Their problem (and many of ours) is comprehension. We have simplified things so much that we fail to think about the deeper meaning of things.



I usually don't pay attention to chains but after what I witnessed on Black Friday, I have to post one that caught my eye this morning.
BLACK PEOPLE, PLEASE, READ & HEED. POIGNANT.

The sad thing about this article is that the essence of it is true. The
truth hurts. I just hope this sets more Black people in motion towards
making real progress. Chris Rock, a Black comedian, even joked that
Blacks don't read.

Help prove them wrong! Read and pass on.

Please Note:

For those of you who heard it, this is the article Dee Lee was reading this morning on a New York radio station. For those of you who didn't hear it, this is very deep. This is a heavy piece and a Caucasian wrote it.
Dee Lee, CFP
Harvard Financial Educators





Dee Lee

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the currentmethods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED, and SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in a book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books
readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Bookstores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along), but few read consistently, if at all.

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal. Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).

Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it. Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.

They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in start a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, And they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them "Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.

They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.

With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcast destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has even jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profits from our businesses that we market to them.

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "Talented Tenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success.
However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together, their selfishness lets their egos get in the way of their goal. Their so-called help organization seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community.

They are content to sit in conferences and conventions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best
speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness? They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)

They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under the control of our pens in our offices and our rooms.


Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping" their communities by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!









Something many of us have known for a long time. After reading this, how many of us will change?

This is really true.

Wow. Thanks for reminding US the state that WE are in. It's sad but true. We tear each other down on a daily basis with our images, our music, and our ignorance. I listen to rap just like everybody else, but KNOWING that it's just entertainment makes all the difference. We've got sooooo many issues, I don't even know where to begin.....Maybe someone who has read this (myself included) will think about volunteering, or even working with a literacy program...help kids and adults recognize that knowledge is power. I'm formerly a Juvenile Probation Officer so trust me, I've seen firsthand the state that our future is in....

I have always said that slavery is not dead... It's just in a modern form. But at this point, the only way to try to correct things are through knowledge and spreading the word. Will everyone be receptive??? NO!!!! But I do feel like it is our social duty to make our people aware of the injustices that continue in our lives on a daily basis.... I read all the time... And I read a little bit of everything. When I am done reading a book, instead of storing it on my bookshelf, I pass it on to someone else. That's just one thing I do though.... But if everyone made an effort I think we could definitely make a difference. But what will ever be just in a country with a constitution that was originally written by 'white slave holding men' for 'white slave holding men'??? Answer me that!!

Yes, the truth does hurt. It is so sad to admit that whenever I see or hear something negative that our people have done I always say "That's black people for you". So change starts with me. I definitely feel that our people are/will perish for their lack of knowledge.

The Week In Review 11/7/7 (Prayers)

Since I haven't been able to make church these past few weeks (due to sinning[lots and lots of sinning]NOT REALLY but probably), let's see if I can't get some clarity with a little reflection. In my church, after communion, we kneel to pray. This prayer more reflection time. I usually go over my week and thank God for stopping me from slapping the shit out of people I've come into contact with.

So let's pray:

Lord, thank you. Thank you for giving me patience when customers call to see if the car lot they just drove by has any cars for sale. Help me stay strong when everyone around me keeps asking me to lie. (You know - Am I getting on your nerves? Sale this car. Does this car run good? At $700? This 2002? Absolutely!)

Please Lord, look out for my people. Help me find a way to convince my cousin to stop lying on his dick about ugly women. Forgive all the nakeddickers who just couldn't sit they triflin asses at home on Black Out Friday. Forgive "The Dog", he didn't mean nigger in a bad way. Plus, he doesn't even know Al Sharpton and he never knew we now say "nakeddicker" instead. If anything, forgive his nakeddickedness. Maybe, I'll forgive him for not reading my blogs.

Bless Denzel and his new movie. I know so many people couldn't wait to watch the bootleg. I hope they were as eager to pay $10 (or more) to see it in the theater. Bless T.I. when he goes back to prison. He's a cute little guy. He may need your help. Bless Oprah. She didn't know women could be pedophiles and on the down low too.

As always, bless the children. Just because they come from retardation and nakeddickin' they don't have to be doomed to the same.

(Meditation...)





In Jesus' name.....














SLAP!!!!!!

LMFAO, you are hilarious, I love it!!!!!!!

So I've heard its best to pray "Lord have your will" than to request "specific blessings" because it minimizes our disappointments when our prayers aren't answered in in what we'd consider a timely fashion or according to our liking. And often times, what we pray for may not be in our best interest or the better interest of whom we've asked God to bless. Perhaps God has already blessed Oprah, The Dog, T.I., Denzel (and dare I include the NAKEDDICKERS too) with the very same "issues" you've requested their deliverance from... we're all in need of the occasional reality-checks to keep us real with God!


Thanks for the blog invite... I've enjoyed this mini trip into your would of thoughts... and am looking forward to reading more. Peace out!

What's a Nakeddicker? =)

LMAO!!!

What I learned in Church: Persistence and Faith

Posted Date: : Oct 22, 2007 4:19 PM

Listen to GOD

The gospel told a story of a dishonest judge and a woman who was persistent in asking for justice. Because she was persistent, the judge gave in. Jesus then asked how strong our faith was. This was not a story for people with low comprehension skills. (Don't get me started on retards again) Most people would assume this means we persist in prayer, keep asking and asking and asking. Two things pop into my head.

1. If we are always asking, when do we stop and listen? I didn't know that faith worked that way. Some people ridicule Catholics or Moslems for using the same prayers over and over or for praying over and over so ritualistically and then turn around and repeatedly request the same thing to God every night. I guess because they change their drawers more often than an Arab there's a difference.

            If occurs to me that if you believe, you shall receive. So why you keep askin?

Which brings me to:

2. Are we now treating God like a dishonest judge? Does he need constant reminding that you still have not hit the Lotto? I mean the whole block, your barber and Jesus knows your numbers are 5-4-7. When do we stop needing and start believing? When are we going to stop over clicking that mouse? You only need to click that link one time and you hit the button six just to read my blog. The computer will freeze up, GOD won't. And HE knows and HE won't forget.  In fact, he may have sent you a reply. Stop typing and check your inbox. Don't be scared to open that email that looks unfamiliar, they're not all chains.

Remember, it's US who need the reminding, not the other way around. It's us who need help learning the word from time to time. For the first time in a while (and only the second time ever) I feel like my church community is somewhere I can go and know the people there have my back. And I don't even know anyone at my church! THAT, my friends, is what church is.

            If you happen to be attending a church where that is not the case… In fact, if you know the people at your church and still don't trust them, why are you still there? RUN! You are in hell and you don't know it. Use your Jesus slap and get out of there!

In the name of Jesus…

And quit pesterin God for new shoes! He's busy fighting a war for Christ's Sake!

DANG!

Thank ya Jaysus, each time you post I always pray that you post something relevant, something that will actually make sense, something people will actually want to read and comment on. I stopped, and look what happened, my prayers were answered. (speaking in tongues now) Hallelujah, I'macomininahondaleavininalexus.

After catching up today on all of the blog reading I've been missing out on, I have realized that I am very interested in attending your church one day. You're definitely churching me. As for your friend Taima, he is a riot. You two are made to be friends. Two peas in a pod. and that I'macomininahondaleavininalexus... how innovative! You guys are way too creative. Holla atcha girl. One

My brother you said it. You are getting deeper and deeper with each blog and to think of the number of people you are sharing this good news to. Just something that makes you say ummmmm. Preach on brother man preach ..........on. love ya

That's what I'm talking about L.A. Give me some good word on a Thursday mornin! You've inspired to speak on it @ length! U better go u inspiration u! 

Invasion Of The Retards

Current mood: exanimate
Category: Life

DID YOU MISS ME!?!?!

I've actually been writing for yall but it all flows as one thought so let me start backwards with the ugly, then the bad, THEN the good.



Last time I spoke out on the retards, I received tons of responses asking what kind of person I thought I was. Well, I am an asshole. It's my job to be an asshole. I must expose reality since a lot of people don't like to deal with it. I speak facts. The fact is, I have never referred to the mentally challenged as retards. the retards I refer to weren't born with an abnormal chromosome pattern.

By definition:

[1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.–verb (used without object)
2. to be delayed.–noun
3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang:Disparaging.
a. a mentally retarded person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
5. Automotive,Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle]

- the retards I refer to were born normal in every way. They became retards at some point because of decisions they made. I continue to call them retards because of the decisions they continue to make.

I only bring this up again because I face a crisis. A friend pointed out that God takes care of babies and fools. I accepted that and changed the way I treated people who were slower than me. But then I was bombarded with retards and their retarded antics. I had to ask - What about the retards? They are not babies and they weren't born fools nor were they mentally injured at some point in life.

No! I am talking about winos, crackheads, sex addicts (aka nakeddickers), scary assed people, bitch assed people, and just all around losers. Today, we breed and support weakness. Our political correctness has us making excuses for all kinds of loserdom, niggardom, random naked-dickedness and increasing cases of bitch assedness. We are allowing talented individuals to give up on life and become bums.

We do it when we decide not to discipline our children because we didn't like getting whipped ourselves as children. We do it when we choose to be politically correct and not tell young people they are behaving like animals because we don't know who will sue/shoot us these days. We do it when we go out of our way to accommodate crackheads. We do it whenever we allow a circumstance to become an excuse.

Well I don't care who sues me. Good luck to any retard who thinks winning a lawsuit against me will do any good. I am here to tell it and here it is.

I officially don't give a shit about your excuses. He's this, she's that, I don't have/never had, I was born..., mah-muh-my brain hurts...blah, blah, blah. Shut up and get my fries!

And if they're not hot, I'll be doing some "Tard" bashing up in McDonald's today!


Hey asshole, WTF you been at??? I was bout to start writing blogs in a min. How about them Cowboys!!! lol

JR

You need to get on tha American Zeigheist blog! Been waiting on that for who knows how long...

Look for Ring Of Power. That one is CRAZY!!!! It's way underground

Did you see the movie??? Its comming soon, please believe. I swear im about to loose half of my myspace friends with that blog lol. I done already pissed off too many people already!

I been seen the movie! GET TO WRITING! IMMEDIATELY!!! Don't make me be the only one. I'll write one too!

LOL this weekend!

JR

Did I lose all my readers? Good! I'll start all over with only smart people

Not at all. I'm proud to be an American Retard! Here they actually bail us out when we inappropriately piss all over the common good.

Only in America are intellectuals jealous of imbeciles! Makes my heart warm...or is that my shorts? I just let out a little poop...mmmmmmmmmh!

Damn straight! You know me...I don't believe in coddling the ig'nant (yeah, I meant to spell it like that) fuck boys and girls! Tell 'em like it is and if they don't like it...fuck 'em. You can tell 'em I said it and let 'em know where to find me! I got 5 fingers on my right hand waiting to talk to their face if they don't! LOL, I'm on my soapbox tonight!

I'm actually sad to admit - I find myself getting jealous of retards and all the attention they get. Someone has to point out when people are retarded!

SAY KILLA, I GOT TO ADMIT YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS...AND NOWADAYS IT IS WHAT PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR, ESPECIALLY THE FOLKS IN OUR AGE GROUP. PEOPLE DON'T LEARN ANYTHING UNTIL THEY END UP IN THE SITUATION THAT THEY NEVER THOUGHT THEY'D END UP IN.

KEEP BASHING THESE IGNORANT PEOPLE WHO DANCE TO THEIR OWN TUNE WHEN MUSIC SHOULDN'T EVEN BE PLAYIN'!!!!
" But if we kill'em they won't learn nuthin!" The tards have to learn someway

LMAO @ "a hit dog will holler"

Niggardom, Al Sharpton and a Eulogy for the N word (And by N word I mean nigger)

This blog is attributed to Al Sharpton. This week Wednesday is the official eulogy of the N word (and the B word bitches!). My struggle has been with the lack of a word to describe certain people who still so abundantly exist in the world.

Disclaimer: The following commentary uses A LOT of foul language in reference to A GANG of foul people. By that, I mean niggahs/niggers and niggardom. (I have to get it all out by Wednesday so that I may unveil a new word to refer to the growing population of super-retards.

Niggers/niggahs are all over the world. Niggahs are white, black, hispanic, asian, arab, moslem, christian, jew, atheist, vegan, carnivores, omnivores, smart, dumb (Mostly dumb), straight, gay, bi, punks, bebops, whoopty whops, tramps scalliwags, punk assed bitches, bitch assed niggahs, fleas, ticks and all the rest. Case in point: I went to the movies. I decided to pay cash (Big Mistake!). I'm waiting in line behind two groups of white people. These people seem like friends. However, when they buy their tickets, they go up to the window one at a time...Can I tell you I was imagining punching white girls in the back of the head for at least ten minutes tonight. I mean who would go out with people they don't trust to buy tickets all at once but niggahs?

I have to admit before I go deeper that I too have been a niggah. Never been called a nigger (except by an old black lady in the Magic Johnson Theaters). I even ran with geniuses who called themselves niggahs and went to extreme means to act real niggarish. These men who are now nuerosurgeons, scientists, lawyers, teachers, politicians and highly educated low lifes were overreacting to what niggahs would have you believe is a loss of Blackness that comes with education. Most of us are over that shit. Good luck to the rest of us. I officially renounce my own niggardom and vow that I am in no way affiliated with any coons, spicks, niggers, scumbuckets, cumbuckets, naked-dickers, naked-dicking or any other form of niggardom.

Another story shared by a friend may be familiar to many of you, directly or indirectly. She shared with some friends of her's how she took her daughter to the library from time to time. Her friends responded that she was acting white. PURE NIGGARDOM. Whereas I have seen many, many more white retards and an over abundance of young black prodigies, niggardom would have you believe that it is impossible to improve or strengthen your natural intelligence.

Speaking to Al Sharpton's issue. Anyone who supports the Stop Snitching campaign is probably on the down low or just a bitch assed niggah scared to get his/her ass whooped by whoever he/she needs to be snitching on. Or they are just retarded[not in a funny way]. (I cannot stress enough how abundant retardation is today. GO TO THE LIBRARY PEOPLE! TAKE YOUR CHILDREN!) When I was young a snitch was someone who told TOO much. Not just told. Maybe I called someone a snitch when I was mad or embarassed that my dumb ass got caught doing something wrong. Al Sharpton mentioned the 60s and 70s when we were REALLY a community. We had so much pride that any niggardom was immediately dealt with. Whether it was community members or the law, we all stood up against niggardom.

Today, spoiled children be they rich or poor (its mostly poor) are growing up to be niggars. A growing number of them are growing to be rich niggers. Call them Michael Vick, Paris Hilton, Her whole crew, Puff Daddy, Diddy, Coa Coa Puff Diddy Puff, Kobe Bryant, George Bush (both of them) or OJ Simpson, they are all niggers (see the current issue of the Klu Klux Klan newsletter for reference). And they are all influencing a new generation of young niggahs who see no problem with niggardom. What we are left with is a rampage of retardation and an overpopulation of niggers. As a caller on the great Michael Baisden's show mentioned, how can we put an end to the N word with out putting an end to niggardom. There would be too many niggahs running around with no name to unify their mass retardation. So what do we do?

The question is - what word will we use when we choose to limit ourselves (as niggahs) do by ending our use of the N word? Let's be honest, it will only be a select few who actually does refuse to use a word. Most retards don't read or listen to talk radio, so how would they even know that they have been renamed? And when we do find a new name for this special classification of retard, what do we do about the actual cure for retardation?

I mean, I am tired of the N word, but I am so much more tired of niggardom. So in my ongoing fight to end niggardom (which I will chronicle here), I will have to use a new word to reference my adversaries and the actual problem.

It's too damned HOT!!!

Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

(I have to use a few curse words to emphasize my point on this one)

I've been wondering why I have been so riled up lately. It's ridiculous! I've been wanting to get into shit with everybody. Almost all the time, I been wanting to fuck somebody up or just fuck the shit out of someone (In the A/C!). Then I found a minute or two to be introspective (Because that's how I roll.) When I looked around everyone else was more agitated than usual. The customers, the mechanics, even the secretary was talking about beating people up! The irony is that is was just TOO damned hot to actually do anything. Then one of the mechanics showed me something. It was a thermometer.


This week on our lot it has been well over 100 degrees even reaching 124. I remembered that parking lots are usually ten degrees hotter. Our lot must be twenty degrees because it is the oils and gas on the ground that make it hotter.  (And our messy assed mechanics do spill a bunch.) So if you speak with me and I talk a lot more shit than usual. Or say something way more dirty than my usual, just give me a pass. It's the heat. AND THE HUMIDITY.



I've been thinking of getting my boss and the crew to go into real estate or starting a gang or opening a strip club or a whore house. Whatever as long as we can get out of the heat. DAMN! I need a beer!







Hilarious... if you're deciding between one of the F-word options, I suggest option 2. =)

LOL. You're crazy, but it has been too damn hot.

I do agree. It has been too damn hot lately. And I'm back in School. OMG.

What I learned in Miami: A Few Things About Me

Current mood: optimistic
Category: Life

Just a few things about me

On my trip to Miami this weekend I learned a few things about my self. It makes sense to me to share sense some of my readers are here on the pretense of getting to know me. (It may help some of my friends as well.) So here it is:

I'll never tell
I know I promised to share some of the things that have been going on with me lately regardless of who is involved and what comes of it. The real problem with that is I have never been one to talk about other people. I can speak in general terms but I cannot mention specific names and situations. My friends will remember that in all my stories I only refer to people as "the homie", or "this girl" or some "relative." No names, no dates, nothing that will connect any person to their specific story. The reasons are twofold. One is, I don't anyone ever speaking about me by name. I know that people do, but I would prefer if they didn't. The legend of "LA" is too big for me to ever dream of living up to it or living it down. The other reason is, I imagine my friends meeting each other one day. I don't want to be the one to influence first impressions. Even if the impression is good, it's better that people make their own impressions on each other. I don't want them to have to live up to or live down anything that someone else said about them. All this means for you, my readers, is I will have to figure some other way to share my life with you all. Plus, I still want you to buy my books. My published life story will include all the names, dates and vivid details. This is just a teaser

I Don't Chase, I Facilitate
So many people have hooked up because of me, the legend of "LA" has led people to believe that I have game. The same can be said about people who see the way I handle myself around women. Nothing could be further from the truth. Being in the south where women are not as aggressive as I am used to, I have come to realize it's not my style to chase, court or even approach women. I may get wild, belligerent, and even mannish at times but, the truth is, of the all the women and girls I've dated, I have only successfully approached one girl. And I was thirteen when that happened. All the rest approached me first. Anyone who knew me when I was in Junior High knows I wasn't prepared for the change once I actually started dressing and grooming a little bit better. Since then, I'm such a literal believer in the idea that women choose, I never subscribed to the chasing women thing. Plus, I associate that behavior with "naked-dickers" (word to be defined later) and I try to distance myself from them as much as possible. Don't believe in the legend, I don't have women chasing me down the street. In fact, I stay dateless for long periods. I still get it poppin on a regular basis. And I have so many friends most of whom are platonic females, I couldn't ask for much more. I leave the serial dating to the naked-dickers.
Me.
 I'm in search of a once in a lifetime opportunity. That means that if I approach you and I'm not trying to hook you up with one of my boys, I see potential. And if you approach me and end up staying in touch longer than two weeks (My attention span), I see potential. When people ask me what type of woman I like my response is always one thing, assertive. If you want to be temporary, you can stay passive and with any luck you can catch me when I'm belligerent and mannish, and you will stay temporary. For anything else, step up.

You Are Not Invited
As I mentioned before, "LA" is always into something. Whoever wants to roll can do just that. My one rule is - If you know, you can go. I'm not so formal with invitations. In fact, I flat out will never invite you anywhere. There always being an exception to every rule, know that when I go through the formalities of inviting you, I truly would not be able to enjoy myself without your company. My feelings will be hurt if you don't show and I will cry. I mention this about me because of the legend. The legend has many believing that I roll with this imaginary elite entourage and everyone else is not worthy. Not true. Ask my bartenders, I'm mostly alone when I roll out. I'm out of the promotion business. If I tell you I'm going you better get ready. Or better yet, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. I will roll to church, the bar, the movies, Apache, whatever and I refuse to ruin my experience or spend my energy convincing someone to go where they don't want to go.
This goes for dating as well (see above). I may ask a woman out once and leave an open invitation if we can't make a date then. After that, I'm rolling. I ain't go miss "Talk To Me" (A GREAT movie!!! Go see it and don't tell my friends I went without them.) waiting on someone to make up their mind or put their shoes or make up on. I repeat - If you stay ready...









I thought this was going to be a huge revelation but I knew that about you when you lived in New Orleans.

Yeah. This is for the new people.

Hey bro,
We do have a lot in common....hahaha. Is it cause we are both from the SHAW? Very deep revelations. I concur with you 100 percent, we don't have to beg anyone to go out with us, if they want they will come, if they don't then we go out by ourselves and meet the ones that like to roll like us.....I think that is better that way sometimes.
FYI, I married my high school sweetheart.....till this day, when I go clubbing, I go out by myself with the homies because she doesn't like to......Like I said above, if they don't want to go out, we go out ourselves.....
Peace

Single Women

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Romance and Relationships



This is from last year. (I'm still on vactation) I only got two comments so I want to find out what the rest of yall think. I'm still standing on my position(See below) and this topic will never die.

Women need to be more assertive. Tell him you like him. Tell him you want to sleep with him. I am used to women being more assertive since age 13. I asked a girl out (aka I got her number and began to talk shit with her) and she flat out asked me what I wanted. Did I want to be her girlfriend? Did I want to just talk? Or did I want to fuck? AT 13!!! I was shocked then. But as I grew older I began to get accustomed to being that straight forward…

… Then I came to Atlanta. ALL the women do here is talk shit. They ALL do. ALL the time. BUT they do not keep it real. They are most definitely not straight forward. They can not ask a guy out. They can not say what they want from a guy. Or ask a guy what he wants. Am I 12 all over again? WTF?

I have to say relax to all women. So what! You are getting older. So what, we live longer now a days. There are no good men. So what, focus on yourself. So what, be more selective and understand what being selective entails. It means you will be alone for a long while in search of perfection. That is why you need to be comfortable with yourself.

Babies... I love you all. If I could marry you all and make you all feel better about yourselves, I would. But I am in the relentless pursuit of perfection. I need to perfect myself so that when I find my perfect wife, I will be ready to love her. Along the way I truly enjoy offering my love and advice to any one who will listen. If we can both help each other become the perfect partner to our future mates then so much the better for us all. Who knows! We may be perfecting each other so that you and I can be together. And wouldn't that be perfect?

(And Rayya, I can handle it. And for you, that's all that matters.)






very nice.... :) relentless pursuit of perfection, huh?

LA, u know ur girl luvs it when u speak da truth.....however, you know ur girl & u know im bout as blunt as they cum, reagardless of who & what the circumstances.....not every guy wants what ur talking about.....not every guy can handle that typ eof straight forward, dont beat around da bush, tell me the truth regardless of if it hurts or not type woman....but hey that's just from me & my experiences.....on da perfecting your self, im with you 175%....if u r not happy with your self, if you havent cum to grips with who you r or what u want in life, whoever ur with will NOT fill that void, but that goes for both women & men......but u know i'l always take advice coming from u ;) smooches

This discussion can go on FOREVER with no resolution because there is none. There is no need for women to be a certain way in this life! People just need to be themselves. If you're assertive and it works keep it up! The right guy who can't get enough will come along and appreciate you for who you are. If that's not you're style no worries...the perfect compliment is still out there.

You can't resolve this discussion also because some men say they want a woman who speaks up only to follow with "black women are so aggressive or too strong!" What's up with that??
To the men I say it's time to grow some balls! Be a man and ask the girl what's up! You're not 12 anymore so you should definitely be able to speak up for yourself.

There is no winning unless you are happy and content with the individual who you are.

i no i comments on this like a year ago, but yd u have 2 call me out like that ;) LOL....neway, hope u find that 1 that makes u smile even when u dont wanna smile ;)

This is a very interesting discussion, that will go on forever.......

I agree with JR. Very interested conversation, you do have a point. I have noticed in past experiences that a majority of females want a guy to be straight out to the point. It works being blunt if all that you want is sex without strings attached. Females that are looking for something serious will tell you straight out. In my experiences, females would tell you "go to hell", or "Be in my apt in 30 minutes"....hahaha. Well bro, Are you serious about looking for the serious thing? if you are, more power to you. If you are not, then keep on trying to perfect yourself for your perfect match.....There is nothing wrong in looking for the perfect one, but one thing that I will tell you is that if you look for too long, you might end up letting the right one slide pass you without you noticing her.

Later bro,

Good topic that will be discussed over and over. I beg to differ on one thing. The women here seem more aggressive or assertive. i'm a single woman and i have a few single women friends who have no problem saying what they want and how they want it! lol
as a matter of fact, i'm more shy when it comes to that because i don't like rejection. but don't get me wrong. if i really like somebody, i would approach that person one time, not over and over again.
and some guys like to play games, too many. but that is another topic, ain't it?

No! It's the same topic. When we talk about how people approach each other we are talking about game. And men AND women today are here to play. If you can't be be 100% straight up and down, you are playing to me. Call it revealing a little bit at a time or whatever. If you aren't comfortable enough with yourself to be yourself 100% from day one, then you shouldn't be out there.

My opinion on this subject is that men do not like the truth when it is told and they are more complicated than women. Women are more vocal than men. Men dont really communicate. So it is very difficult to know what men really want.

Me personally I keep it real with myself and others around me. I love me first then everyone else get the left over of my love. We as human beings make relationships real complicated. I will never truly understand the craziness of relationship. But truly if there is someone good let it manifest and dont force it because you will be left with nada.

I hear that AND I feel that. The flip side is women don't like the truth either. The reality is we are all looking for a dream and instead of keeping it real, we sell each other dreams to get what we want. Just think of how scary it is to share with a person you just met some of your deepest and darkest secrets and fears. That is exactly what we do (ideally) in relationships. As individuals we can't be fearful of baring our souls to strangers.

Well as a woman I can accept the truth. Then again what is truth? Truth is one's prospection.
I know for me I have opened myself to my significant other or once significant other and he bailed out on me like hot grease. Therefore, I will never truly understand what men really what. I should know since I have six brothers. If I have to be single because I am honest and true to my feelings. Then their you have it.

I know I am intelligent and beautiful. So I am not phase by pretentious expectation we have on each other. Relationships as I view it is HUMANLY COMPLICATED and if two isnt willing to put the effort into the relationship then what do you have?

So this conversation can go everywhere, but we will be a stand still. There isn't any real answer to the view.

The complication comes because we are impatient. With all these billions of people, how can we expect to be lucky enough to find THAT ONE? Don't give up if THAT ONE is what you seek? And don't believe what any one or two men does (out of Millions) is reflective of all men or try not to care even if it is. Remember you are looking for one. Or two. Who knows how you swing?

Jason you are not funny...I am a one man woman. So dont even play me. Anyhoot I havent given up...I just wont put my heart out to be stomped on. Life is truly a lesson.

The Game

Current mood: curious
Category: Writing and Poetry


When will we stop playing games and make it plain
When will I be able to talk to you and tell the truth
I know we're both scared to be the fool but one day soon
I know I cannot hold this secret but for a minute
Who cares what we say except for us anyway
Who cares about me and you except - well - I do
I don't know if you give a shit but I wish you did
I don't know if you even care but I know I care
Why do you hardly call ever at all
Why do you stay away every day
Don't you know time is short before we leave our ports
Don't you know every minute counts before we get up and out
All I can do is make it plain this ain't no game
All I can do is tell the truth, I truly do - care for you - wish to - be with you

Protest Time

Current mood: disappointed
Category: News and Politics

I hope yall are not tired from Imus. It's time to hit the streets again and get Paris Hilton back in jail. That is just too blatant! TOO! Que tanto disrespecto!!! If any poor crackhead said he was too sick to stay in jail, guess where he would be right now! And they STILL tryin to put OJ back in jail. So...

Let the skinny bitch rot! That's what I say. I'm tired of her being on TV anyway.

If anybody has some old Imus signs, I could use some over here. They resemble enough.







She's seriously only famous for 1 line. "That's Hot!" & 1 sex tape that wasn't good
if you ask me! I second the notion. "Let the skinny bitch rot!"

i concur 2 da fullest its crazy how rich white people can get off for doing something horribly wrong, but let a minority period do sumthen minor & they trying 2 put us under da jail & throw away da freaking keys.....BUT seriously, lets face it....shes a white chic with hella loot, well her daddy has hella loot that 1 day shes gona inherit.......Ray Charles could c that aint shit wrong with her (besides da fact that shes on da shit & an anorixic skinny heffa) LOL.......she went so that NO 1 could say she got over on da system or that she was given special treatment, but they nu from day 1 that she wouldnt stay there.......MArtha Steward has $$$ and did her months, BUT we r talking about da HILTONS she was NEVER EVER gona stay n jail PERIOD!!!! daddy would have never allowed it!!!!

She's back in jail so you can relax. Seriously, she needs to serve her punishment like LIL KIm was forced to do hers.

WE CAN NEVER RELAX!!! To quote Monique-ALL SKINNY BITCHES MUST DIE! And she is the skinniest ever. EVER.

The Mama's Boy

Whenever you think to let some shit slide, just think, your child could grow up to be a weirdo. A pedophile, a necrophilia, even an octophile(I think that's a person who likes to get with old, old ladies). Which reminds me of the winding down period of my time in Vegas.

I was out one night and my boy [da homie] had some girls come out from Bakersfield. So being the entertainer that I am, I made up my mind to show these ladies a good time. Which included selling some drinks (as well as selling the idea of drinking). No idea what kind of person goes to Vegas to not drink. Anyhow. A few drinks, the least amount of ice breaking ever and a few hours later, I was hugged up with this Hispanic girl from Bakersfield. I had to go to work at 5am and it was 3:30am so we exchanged numbers a little bit of saliva and promised to talk soon.

After a brief phone romance, it was time to leave Vegas so I decided to stop by Bakersfield to finish my make out session. OK. Let me catch you up. She was divorced with an eleven year old son. (I know. No children. But divorcees get a pass…sometimes) 31 pretty nice on the eyes. And she had Mexican cakes (That means a nice ass for Mexican) [She was really Mexican I'm not being racist] [I think]. She mentioned letting her son sleep with her and I thought nothing of it. Then I found out he was eleven and I gave it a second thought. Hmmmm

Then I went down there! There was an inch of dust in this boys room. HE NEVER SLEPT THERE! There where so many WTFs running through my mind! Luckily for me (Or unluckily … Read on) he had a thirteen year old uncle who slept over in the living room. Then there was the sex.
She wore dentures. That actually excited me. She wore something sexy. I was ready! Then she killed it. All she wanted to do was lay on her back. I kept rolling her over. She kept rolling right back. She wanted to be quick so her son wouldn't catch her. Talk about wack! I like to get down. All I know about is sexual freedom.

And that was it for the whole week. That first night, then her son hating and showing off because I was sleeping on the couch and he was with her the rest of the week. ONE WHOLE WEEK! No loving. No kissing. Nothing! Just stuck in Bakersfield for one week. In a trailer park. On a leather couch! I'm sure I left some skin on that couch.

That was two years ago. From our conversations, this woman is still letting her son sleep with her. He should be thirteen now. The movie Psycho comes to mind.

She obviously had abandonment issues. And now she is passing it on to her children. That's just one extreme. On the milder level we have parents working hard to give their children everything they feel they missed out on. And all the time they are not realizing that their parents protected them from those things for a reason. All I can say is look at these kids today. They’re weak. Emotional wrecks. Virtually all of them strippers or porn stars in training and it's our entire fault. Each every time you say just this once or just this one thing (Think about how many times you've already said it.) you are affecting your child exponentially. And think about how young our children still are.

Parents love your children. Be emotional but be wise. We have to be the ones in control of our emotions and in turn raise them to make wise decisions. We got to keep it tight because its getting rough out here. Lets put our baggage to the side and lead our families down the right path. Ideally we should be able to handle our baggage before we become parents.

And for those of us who still have baggage and already have children…good luck.
Love you babies!

LOL, i remember this story big homie...you're right on point though. Parents need to stop trying to keep these kids on the tit for 30 years and let them learn some responsibility! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying just throw your kids to the wolves, but at 13 your kid should be able to sleep in a bed by himself. Hell, he should be trying to get a girl to sleep in there with him! Oh well, guess you never know what goes through some folks heads! And i'm OWT!

That's what you get for kicking it with strange women.

In some weird way, I think you'll make a great father.

LMAO!!! Ok I'm enjoy ur humor on this one...but on the real she is hindering this kid...she prob will never have a man in here life b'cuz she already has a man..her son....

I'm really more worried about the son. Naked-dickers get what they get. He is going to be BEYOND gay. He is going to fuck chickens or gorillas or something sexy like that. 

Sharing, Swinging and the Invasion of the SidePieces

Current mood: indifferent
Category: Romance and Relationships


I was just thinking about a comment one of my jaw jackin co-workers made a few weeks ago. (The conversation came up again.) A lady (At this shop, there's always a lady.) come by to get her sunroof worked on. Now, we don't do sunroofs. We can do them but it is too time consuming and we don't have the staff. So me being the face of the business, I ran out to let her know we couldn't do it and send her away. I came up on one of our head mechanics talking to her about actually fixing her car. Long story short, the lady had been here before hooked up with another guy (the body man) who no longer worked here and he gave her a discount on the job. Now this trick wanted to do the same with the same girl. This memory along with another conversation started me on this train of thought.

My brother mentioned a girl who used to work here and said that the same body man had hooked up with her. As I was considering her for my cousin, I immediately scratched her off. It's not that she was a bad person or I thought her loose. She was in fact nice and had her game (lifestyle) quite tight. It's just that I don't see why we should have to share women when we are rich with them. TONS and TONS of women come up here all day. There are even more in Atlanta. What's the point of sharing?

I realized that I have experienced more of this here than anywhere else I have lived. And this is the one place I would have thought it not to be so. So many of the men I encounter out here want to talk about sharing "freaks". Even my younger cousin has spoken of this practice with fondness.

I'm just not one for all of that. I like freaky women. But it's not on my mind like that to run trains or flip women. The last time I was naked around another man was when I was three and all my cousins and I used to go pee at the same time. It was like five of us all around the toilet, celebrating recently being potty trained. I mean sharing women today is like going with your crew to a buffet and eating off one plate. WTF!

Understand that I am not saying I would rule out a nice girl because she dated someone I know. I just won't pursue a woman just because I know she hooked up with my boy. I don't chase girls with boyfriends. (LADIES-That was for you! Quit starin!) I don't want anyone standing next to me when I pee. I'll buy you a plate of food if I have to because I don't want anyone digging in my plate. And I don't share. I spread the wealth.

We're not [that] poor anymore. You don't have to have what's mine and I don't have to have what's yours. I can show you how I get it and I can learn how you get it. And we can both have our own. I'm extremely generous but GET YOUR HAND OUT MY POCKET! You got to get your own!







Case and point..I asked a male friend of mine had he ever ran a train on a girl and he said "yes, but I had to go first...I hate sloppy seconds"....

I never understood why a guy would settle for crumbs of my attention with the knowledge that I have a man...being second sucks...(i.e. my blog on married men)

Lol @ "yes, but I had to go first...

Was she cute?

Remember when

Current mood: satisfied
Category: Life

Everytime I reach to answer one of my two cell phones, I remember when...

I remember wanting to get a pager so so SO bad. Then when I got it, no one paged me for like a month. I remember getting my own line at my parent's house and learning harsh lessons about long distance phone calls and sitting on the phone. To this day, no matter how good my conversational skills, I can't wait for the conclusion of my phone calls. Call me utilitarian. Maybe even spartan. I never needed the constant connection to the world that is created with cell phones today. I'm looking around me though and trying to understand really who these people are with a phone/bluetooth permanently attached to their ears, always on the phone (AND ESPECIALLY THOSE DRIVERS DOING 30MPH IN THE FAST LANE ON THE FREEWAY!! GET OFF THE DAMNED PHONE!!!!!! Just wait til I get off probation...)

I guess the question is with all the access we give away with cell phones, email, MySpace and whatever (On top of the home phone and traditional correspondence.) - When do we get silence? Being that I work in both sales and service I get my fill of human interaction everyday. I have a low tolerance for the BS. No sitting on the phone just hanging. No fakery. ABSOLUTELY NO Jaw Jacking!

I just like to remember when I didn't appreciate my time to myself. I did plenty of self exploration and examination. (Does that sound perverted?) But I could have done more. Today, all I want is some quiet time. Maybe I have to get back on my meditation.






It does sound a little nasty...lol But I agree with you. I definitely appreciate any moment of silence I am able to get.
~Shafona


Get rid of your damn phones!!


I know. I will. As soon as I get the girl...

Word Of The Day: Jaw Jacking

Current mood: busy
Category: Life

Jaw Jacking

Jaw Jacking is essentially what it says. You jack up your jaws so that your mouth is always open. It is a concerted effort to never stop talking. Ironically, jaw jacking is a strong sign of insecurity and lying. It is not for the outgoing and friendly. It is usually the people who have social anxieties who resort to jaw jacking. Jaw-jackers are also mostly lying. I mean really. Who has the time to talk so much about nothing? I mean if there was something going on worth talking about, wouldn't you be too busy participating to discuss EVERY SINGLE MINUTE DETAIL of what's going on? Doers do. Walkers walk and talkers talk. And at the extreme end of talking is the jaw-jacker.

Jaw-Jacking virtually always consists of excuses for not doing anything, lies about doing or not doing something, someone else who is actually doing or not doing something, and a whole bunch of - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Victims of jaw-jackers use a lot of "uh-huh's", "yeahs" and "really's" as they pretend to listen and search for an exit to the conversation. Most times victims are forced to resort to just walking away.

If you are subject to a jaw-jacker, you may find yourself wanting to break the jaw of a jaw-jacker in order to get the quiet you seek. But then you realize that a jaw-jacker won't ever get into a physical confrontation because jaw-jackers don't actually do anything. Be careful no to get caught up into the fantasy world of a a jaw-jacker. It is not a real place. Jaw-jackers eventually grow into fantastic liars. If you find conversations going too far beyond the main topic; if you have no idea what the fuck someone is talking about and no clue as to when they will get to the point; if you find yourself avoiding eye contact or entrance into conversations with certain people, then you know a jaw-jacker.

Anyone of the opposite sex (or same sex if you are family) [If you have no idea what family means then stay out of my parenthesis!] who calls too much just to see how you are and then stays on the phone way too long is a jaw-jacker. Anyone who has horrible breath is a jaw-jacker even if they don't talk too often at all just because they talk more than they should (which if you have bad breath is never). If you don't know what any of this definition is about, YOU are the jaw-jacker. In that case - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

This has been the word of the day. The key to learning is application. Locate the jaw-jackers in your life and tell them to SHUT THE FUCK UP. They likely won't. But at least they'll have a clue as to why you avoid them after that.








Funny and informative, funny because I always thought you were a jaw jacker, informative because now I know you aren't.

Try Vegans

Current mood: hungry
Category: Life

I was watching TV and an ad about animal cruelty came on. It was horrific! Luckily at the end of the commercial there was a solution. Tryveg.com. Thank you vegans. For sacrificing yourselves so that peace loving people can still have meat. After all, I don't mind going the Bombay route. Cows can walk down my streets and we already have chickens hollerin up and down my neighborhoods (even in the suburbs)). And … let's be honest. Who smell's worse? Vegans (with that weird fake deodorant) or cows. At least cows swat flies. Vegans don't kill anything. Not even terrorists AND WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR ON TERROR!

Everyone…Give it a try. If you get a good one. They are not so stringy. And the hippy smell burns off.

Yall Trippin: Nelly for President

This is to all the people who keep talking about how much money Oprah has. YALL TRIPPIN! She don't even have no bling. Have you seen how many chains Nelly has!?! CRAZY. What Oprah got? Books?!? Books don't shine! Shit! Even I got spinners! (On my keychain). And people keep saying she getting paid for producing. I ain't heard her name screamed on no records. And we play all the hot shit at Club Crunk. QUIT TRIPPIN! Forget Barack Obama. Its all about Nelly for president.












I'll bet multiple people all around the country have these dumb assed thoughts. When did we decide to support our insecurities. When did over compensation become confidence and waste spell success? We look up to some of the most insecure people on the planet and end up guided by their fears. The result being a radical multiplication of our own fears.





So maybe when we complain about Oprah not being in the "hood" all the time, maybe she is actually doing more for us by not misleading us than some others are who continue to mislead us everyday.






[This blog is almost 12 years old. Below are the comments from my MySpace readers.]




hilarious but sad cuz it's oh so true!


WOW..
im frightened



Keep keeping it real bro. Keep Keeping it real.



Oprah doesn't need to be "hood." And a lot of those rappers aren't all that "hood" either. Anytime they're trying to go to Hollywood and shit. It's the dumb followers who buy into that bs. How can LIL Wayne be gangster if he's working on everyone's cds. lol I met him in person and despite all the tattoos, he's an intelligent lil guy.

I would like to meet Oprah one day because she understands the concept of do what u can, when u can. How much money does a person need to live off on? Think Bill Gates.



I appreciate this blog and the recognition of this thought and breakdown.

BabySitting Tip .128

Current mood: thankful
Category: Life


Never despair. Even the worst ADD ridden children have a bright side. You can give them back. Always remember they are leaving soon. And never have your own children because you can't give them back.

Thank You Retards: (I stole this from Whitney)

Current mood: flirty
Category: Life

It's my intention to make you all smile. If you're not smiling, what's the point.
THIS IS NUCKIN FUTS!!!


retards are super creative!!

Category: Art and Photography

the transformative power of retardation is real.
in the subway this one time, where they roam freely,
i saw this tard
slapping the shit out of himself for money
it was really sweet.
he had pans and cutting boards and cardboard
and shit duct taped to his body to create different sounds
and then he would slap the shit out of himself
for my entertainment.
it was like candy, mind-blowing.
he earned every cent of that fifty-eight.
this other tard (he said his name was uuuggggghhhhhh)
created a doodoo-schmear in the likeness of bloomberg,
our esteemed mayor, on a window of the f train.
where i saw a window,
he saw a frame for his artistic fecal reconstruction.
the simp aesthetic, foreign in my carefully constructed,
acutely logical scene, reveals an imaginative climate
outside of my comfort zone but so close i could clean it
with clorox and a ten foot pole.
but who the fuck am i to judge them?
i won't giuliani them.
after all, what have i made out of
my own shit (or someone else's) lately?
a doodoo-schmear ended up
teaching me about myself.

thank you, (re)tards.

i apologize if you are offended by my commendation
because it was meant for every other retard but you.







yes... it's amazing some of the things we see in the transit stations. i have stopped riding alone at night cuz it gets a little scary at times. but everybody gets by in life whatever way they can.

The New Blogs

Current mood: energetic
Category: Writing and Poetry

So you can see how you all help me out with my writing (It goes much further than telling me if you like my poems), I'll share a recent (today) story.
I was going over my blog comments today and I came across a few that encouraged me but they also began a train of thought. I had been trying to figure out how to write the essays that introduced my poetry. So I was thinking about writing this new blog and at the same time taking in the input from my recent blogs. Someone wrote a comment and I thought to my self, I should write a poem about this person. Actually, I wondered if I had ever written a poem for this person and then I thought about writing one. Then another person commented on another blog and I thought back to the last time I met that person and the poems I wrote then. When some of you knew me, I am certain you all had no idea of what was going on in my head. What was going on was this poetry. As well as this comedy. As well as the seeds of these essays. Finally, the idea for today's blog came to me. My inspiration comes from some wild and varied areas. Pimps, retards, sexy women, scholars, mentors, family, crack heads, speed freaks, drunks, punks, whoop whops, skamps and skalliwags. (These are all the topics of my new blogs)

And it came to me.

My essays are going to be these new blogs with additional background information that will take you truly inside my head to the inspirations at various moments of my life. (I need to eat my mind has been drifting for the last hour and a half.) So take these new blogs as a preview to the finished product. Be excited for me too! I met another author who writes for a fledgling publishing company so...(fingers crossed) So while still no poetry for a short while, there will be many glimpses at the book. And many different things for you all to enjoy and participate in. The process is songoing and the journey is never over and I want you all to come along.

Giddy-UP!!!







i'm really enjoying the new blogs... light-hearted entertainment with a little urban edumacation. but i hope you realize now you're gonna have to define whoop whops as "word of the day" in the near future. lol.


Whoop whop is not a real word. It was added purely for entertainment value. However, If we want to make it a word...

Word of the Day: Burnt Out

In the meantime, my non-fiction is going to channel Dick Gregory. (More 1967 Dick Gregory and only a little 2016 Dick Gregory) I want to be humorous but serious at the same time. Serious is easy. I want to work on my humor so here are some thoughts.

The word of the day is my vocabulary only. I use some words that are L.A. words but mostly it's L.A. That is, a combination of dialects from Los Angeles to the Bay to D.C, New Orleans, Atlanta or what ever. (I even use Spanish from time to time)

Today's word is:
Burnt Out (Burned Out)

As in "You are burnt out!"

This one is hard to define. It refers to the condition after periods of high stress like drinking/drug binges, extreme sorrow/grief, physical exhaustion. or the like. For instance, if you are out drinking and someone goes past being a funny drunk and just goes "CooCoo's Nest" for a minute. Or someone is exhausted and goes beyond sleepy talk to just non-sense. The key is that the people who are burnt out don't know they're burnt out. That's why you have to point it out to your friends from time to time.

Oh yeah! As I have quite often been "burnt out" my self, you may need further clarification or have something to add. Feel Free. I still dig comments.











can you be "burned out" from work...even if it is not a physically demanding job?

You, my friend, are burned out in general!

Babysitting Tip #1

Category: Life


When you stay at home like I do, babysitting is a good way to make sitting on the couch profitable. So, I thought I might share some of the things I've learned from my eleven nieces and nephews and random crack babies, bastard children, puppies, kitties and flushed goldfish.

#1 is the most important:

No dough. No Show. If your broke friend asks you to babysit, buy them a box of rubbers and politely pass. Tell them they can't afford children. Give them the rubbers and the phone number of somewhere they can sell their children on the black market.









that was hilarious! you really need to be focusing on your book....not these funny little blogs!!!

Oh the book is fine. I just had to give you all something in the mean time!

Oh my GOODNESS!! How come I didn't know you were this funny?

You probably thought I was just being drunk.

So true, so true....

so true... especially if the kids are bad! but if you do decide to start baby-sitting for free please let me know cuz i'm paying twice as much for day care as my monthly car payment right now.

Babysitting Tip #67

Current mood: busy
Category: Life


Save money on food by telling fat kids they can live for weeks on their fat cells. Every time they say they're hungry, give them water. Their parents will thank you.





LOL!! So just don't feed them at all? Poor kids. Remind me never to let you babysit my kids. ESPECIALLY if they're fat. You're HILARIOUS!

You are my role model! Teach me to be more gooder

Question: Dumbing Down for Street Cred

Current mood: productive
Category: Life

I was just thinking and I REALLY want to know:

Do you have to be dumb for street cred? Can you name anyone with real street cred who doesn't have some dumb shit attached to them? I guess the ultimate question is - is street cred necessary at all? If you want to do any improving of "the streets" that is. Isn't integrity enough? Why is credibility so important to people with bad or no credit themselves?









A person with street cred is a window shopper. They are on the outside looking in and looking dumb.

lol...recently a certain group of people in my life have begun clowning me for not having street cred... hmm... they have all done some seriously stupid shit..

Between my hoodish relatives and the youngsters I've met from my area and Decatur. I had to ask. It's getting out of hand.

Word of the Day

Current mood:My new love is caffiene
Category: Life

I know you all want poetry but I made myself a promise not to write anymore new stuff until my book is 100% finished. That's my new rule: Nothing new until the old is finished.

But in the meantime, I still want to give everyone insights into me. One of the ways I'll be doing that is - The Word of the Day.


Today's word is Elbow Booty.

It refers the uncanny resemblance the female body makes to an elbow when certain women bend over. (I can't name any names because I am in the south and I see tons of exceptions to old rules everyday.) The phenomena is noticeable because like the funny bone sticking out of the bent elbow, booty bone is also most prominent in a bent over elbow Booty...

Elbow booties do exist. Check your self out if you have any question. And don't despair, some one loves that.


Closest  Approximation of Elbow Booty:

I'm not quite sue I understand what "Elbow Booty" looks like, but it sure sounds funny. At the same time it does not sound attractive, so I'm hoping it doesn't apply to me... LMAO! (or, LMEBO)... lol

The Story II

For anyone not familiar with "The Story", this time I won't be reposting it. You just have to look for it to get caught up. Anyhow, this is the conclusion.
I call it: Drug Dealer Classes.
In two weeks I'll be all done with the hard part of my probation. I probably won't mention it anymore simply because I expect to be to busy to focus on it. It'll just be one more bill to mail off.
So I mentioned drug dealer classes before. I procrastinated on going because I didn't see any benefit. So far, I am absolutely right. These classes are for retards. Not to mention that the focus is on substance abuse. (That's a whole other blog!) But the message (Which I learned before and is eerily similar to "The Seven Habits...") is dumbed down far too much. I knew it! I knew when I first spoke with the counselor (He interviews you to recommend his services) he was going to find something to try to get me into his classes (Which cost money). I told him my story, his mind worked overtime. What he came up with was drug dealer classes. I have to go to six. Not a great number, but as my patience for the BullShit decreases, I have to cut back everywhere I can.
So I spoke with him last night. I told him I wasn't seeing a benefit in the classes. I did not insult the participants for whom the classes were working. He looked me in the eye and told me it was a process. I have four more classes, he hasn't mentioned drug dealing, I haven't met any drug dealers, and there are 12 steps on the wall (four classes-12steps-Seven Habits-$120). I have to speak to my probation officer. (I'm declaring Shennanigans!)
I jumped the gun when I said there was nothing to learn. I hope to learn some humility. Either way, it'll all be over soon. If had took the time in October of '05, I wouldn't be having so much of mine wasted now.

Well that's that. Now back to our regular programming.