The Mama's Boy

Whenever you think to let some shit slide, just think, your child could grow up to be a weirdo. A pedophile, a necrophilia, even an octophile(I think that's a person who likes to get with old, old ladies). Which reminds me of the winding down period of my time in Vegas.

I was out one night and my boy [da homie] had some girls come out from Bakersfield. So being the entertainer that I am, I made up my mind to show these ladies a good time. Which included selling some drinks (as well as selling the idea of drinking). No idea what kind of person goes to Vegas to not drink. Anyhow. A few drinks, the least amount of ice breaking ever and a few hours later, I was hugged up with this Hispanic girl from Bakersfield. I had to go to work at 5am and it was 3:30am so we exchanged numbers a little bit of saliva and promised to talk soon.

After a brief phone romance, it was time to leave Vegas so I decided to stop by Bakersfield to finish my make out session. OK. Let me catch you up. She was divorced with an eleven year old son. (I know. No children. But divorcees get a pass…sometimes) 31 pretty nice on the eyes. And she had Mexican cakes (That means a nice ass for Mexican) [She was really Mexican I'm not being racist] [I think]. She mentioned letting her son sleep with her and I thought nothing of it. Then I found out he was eleven and I gave it a second thought. Hmmmm

Then I went down there! There was an inch of dust in this boys room. HE NEVER SLEPT THERE! There where so many WTFs running through my mind! Luckily for me (Or unluckily … Read on) he had a thirteen year old uncle who slept over in the living room. Then there was the sex.
She wore dentures. That actually excited me. She wore something sexy. I was ready! Then she killed it. All she wanted to do was lay on her back. I kept rolling her over. She kept rolling right back. She wanted to be quick so her son wouldn't catch her. Talk about wack! I like to get down. All I know about is sexual freedom.

And that was it for the whole week. That first night, then her son hating and showing off because I was sleeping on the couch and he was with her the rest of the week. ONE WHOLE WEEK! No loving. No kissing. Nothing! Just stuck in Bakersfield for one week. In a trailer park. On a leather couch! I'm sure I left some skin on that couch.

That was two years ago. From our conversations, this woman is still letting her son sleep with her. He should be thirteen now. The movie Psycho comes to mind.

She obviously had abandonment issues. And now she is passing it on to her children. That's just one extreme. On the milder level we have parents working hard to give their children everything they feel they missed out on. And all the time they are not realizing that their parents protected them from those things for a reason. All I can say is look at these kids today. They’re weak. Emotional wrecks. Virtually all of them strippers or porn stars in training and it's our entire fault. Each every time you say just this once or just this one thing (Think about how many times you've already said it.) you are affecting your child exponentially. And think about how young our children still are.

Parents love your children. Be emotional but be wise. We have to be the ones in control of our emotions and in turn raise them to make wise decisions. We got to keep it tight because its getting rough out here. Lets put our baggage to the side and lead our families down the right path. Ideally we should be able to handle our baggage before we become parents.

And for those of us who still have baggage and already have children…good luck.
Love you babies!

LOL, i remember this story big homie...you're right on point though. Parents need to stop trying to keep these kids on the tit for 30 years and let them learn some responsibility! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying just throw your kids to the wolves, but at 13 your kid should be able to sleep in a bed by himself. Hell, he should be trying to get a girl to sleep in there with him! Oh well, guess you never know what goes through some folks heads! And i'm OWT!

That's what you get for kicking it with strange women.

In some weird way, I think you'll make a great father.

LMAO!!! Ok I'm enjoy ur humor on this one...but on the real she is hindering this kid...she prob will never have a man in here life b'cuz she already has a man..her son....

I'm really more worried about the son. Naked-dickers get what they get. He is going to be BEYOND gay. He is going to fuck chickens or gorillas or something sexy like that. 

Sharing, Swinging and the Invasion of the SidePieces

Current mood: indifferent
Category: Romance and Relationships


I was just thinking about a comment one of my jaw jackin co-workers made a few weeks ago. (The conversation came up again.) A lady (At this shop, there's always a lady.) come by to get her sunroof worked on. Now, we don't do sunroofs. We can do them but it is too time consuming and we don't have the staff. So me being the face of the business, I ran out to let her know we couldn't do it and send her away. I came up on one of our head mechanics talking to her about actually fixing her car. Long story short, the lady had been here before hooked up with another guy (the body man) who no longer worked here and he gave her a discount on the job. Now this trick wanted to do the same with the same girl. This memory along with another conversation started me on this train of thought.

My brother mentioned a girl who used to work here and said that the same body man had hooked up with her. As I was considering her for my cousin, I immediately scratched her off. It's not that she was a bad person or I thought her loose. She was in fact nice and had her game (lifestyle) quite tight. It's just that I don't see why we should have to share women when we are rich with them. TONS and TONS of women come up here all day. There are even more in Atlanta. What's the point of sharing?

I realized that I have experienced more of this here than anywhere else I have lived. And this is the one place I would have thought it not to be so. So many of the men I encounter out here want to talk about sharing "freaks". Even my younger cousin has spoken of this practice with fondness.

I'm just not one for all of that. I like freaky women. But it's not on my mind like that to run trains or flip women. The last time I was naked around another man was when I was three and all my cousins and I used to go pee at the same time. It was like five of us all around the toilet, celebrating recently being potty trained. I mean sharing women today is like going with your crew to a buffet and eating off one plate. WTF!

Understand that I am not saying I would rule out a nice girl because she dated someone I know. I just won't pursue a woman just because I know she hooked up with my boy. I don't chase girls with boyfriends. (LADIES-That was for you! Quit starin!) I don't want anyone standing next to me when I pee. I'll buy you a plate of food if I have to because I don't want anyone digging in my plate. And I don't share. I spread the wealth.

We're not [that] poor anymore. You don't have to have what's mine and I don't have to have what's yours. I can show you how I get it and I can learn how you get it. And we can both have our own. I'm extremely generous but GET YOUR HAND OUT MY POCKET! You got to get your own!







Case and point..I asked a male friend of mine had he ever ran a train on a girl and he said "yes, but I had to go first...I hate sloppy seconds"....

I never understood why a guy would settle for crumbs of my attention with the knowledge that I have a man...being second sucks...(i.e. my blog on married men)

Lol @ "yes, but I had to go first...

Was she cute?

Remember when

Current mood: satisfied
Category: Life

Everytime I reach to answer one of my two cell phones, I remember when...

I remember wanting to get a pager so so SO bad. Then when I got it, no one paged me for like a month. I remember getting my own line at my parent's house and learning harsh lessons about long distance phone calls and sitting on the phone. To this day, no matter how good my conversational skills, I can't wait for the conclusion of my phone calls. Call me utilitarian. Maybe even spartan. I never needed the constant connection to the world that is created with cell phones today. I'm looking around me though and trying to understand really who these people are with a phone/bluetooth permanently attached to their ears, always on the phone (AND ESPECIALLY THOSE DRIVERS DOING 30MPH IN THE FAST LANE ON THE FREEWAY!! GET OFF THE DAMNED PHONE!!!!!! Just wait til I get off probation...)

I guess the question is with all the access we give away with cell phones, email, MySpace and whatever (On top of the home phone and traditional correspondence.) - When do we get silence? Being that I work in both sales and service I get my fill of human interaction everyday. I have a low tolerance for the BS. No sitting on the phone just hanging. No fakery. ABSOLUTELY NO Jaw Jacking!

I just like to remember when I didn't appreciate my time to myself. I did plenty of self exploration and examination. (Does that sound perverted?) But I could have done more. Today, all I want is some quiet time. Maybe I have to get back on my meditation.






It does sound a little nasty...lol But I agree with you. I definitely appreciate any moment of silence I am able to get.
~Shafona


Get rid of your damn phones!!


I know. I will. As soon as I get the girl...

Word Of The Day: Jaw Jacking

Current mood: busy
Category: Life

Jaw Jacking

Jaw Jacking is essentially what it says. You jack up your jaws so that your mouth is always open. It is a concerted effort to never stop talking. Ironically, jaw jacking is a strong sign of insecurity and lying. It is not for the outgoing and friendly. It is usually the people who have social anxieties who resort to jaw jacking. Jaw-jackers are also mostly lying. I mean really. Who has the time to talk so much about nothing? I mean if there was something going on worth talking about, wouldn't you be too busy participating to discuss EVERY SINGLE MINUTE DETAIL of what's going on? Doers do. Walkers walk and talkers talk. And at the extreme end of talking is the jaw-jacker.

Jaw-Jacking virtually always consists of excuses for not doing anything, lies about doing or not doing something, someone else who is actually doing or not doing something, and a whole bunch of - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Victims of jaw-jackers use a lot of "uh-huh's", "yeahs" and "really's" as they pretend to listen and search for an exit to the conversation. Most times victims are forced to resort to just walking away.

If you are subject to a jaw-jacker, you may find yourself wanting to break the jaw of a jaw-jacker in order to get the quiet you seek. But then you realize that a jaw-jacker won't ever get into a physical confrontation because jaw-jackers don't actually do anything. Be careful no to get caught up into the fantasy world of a a jaw-jacker. It is not a real place. Jaw-jackers eventually grow into fantastic liars. If you find conversations going too far beyond the main topic; if you have no idea what the fuck someone is talking about and no clue as to when they will get to the point; if you find yourself avoiding eye contact or entrance into conversations with certain people, then you know a jaw-jacker.

Anyone of the opposite sex (or same sex if you are family) [If you have no idea what family means then stay out of my parenthesis!] who calls too much just to see how you are and then stays on the phone way too long is a jaw-jacker. Anyone who has horrible breath is a jaw-jacker even if they don't talk too often at all just because they talk more than they should (which if you have bad breath is never). If you don't know what any of this definition is about, YOU are the jaw-jacker. In that case - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

This has been the word of the day. The key to learning is application. Locate the jaw-jackers in your life and tell them to SHUT THE FUCK UP. They likely won't. But at least they'll have a clue as to why you avoid them after that.








Funny and informative, funny because I always thought you were a jaw jacker, informative because now I know you aren't.