Love

Current mood:Chillaxed
Category: Romance and Relationships

I realized that I don't believe in love. I believe in relationships. Love, as I use it, is a verb. As most people use it, it is a rationalization of lust and codependence. Its what happens when emotions become involved in a lustful and obviously codependent relationship. These emotions are not the good ones. They are fear, loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc…. Most people I have spoken with on the subject have no idea why they are "in love." They can't explain in any rational terms what love is. That's because there is no tangibility in a verb. What is run? What is talk? There is motion. There is speech. What is the noun of which love as a verb is a reflection? Perhaps it is romance. But romance is a derivative of lust. Its what makes one comfortable with lust.

These are just random thoughts. I lack the capacity, at the moment, to expound. Plus, I just want the feedback on this.






Lei 'Alani


this is a really good blog. need time to reflect...




J MUTHAFUCKIN DADDII {SHYZNASTEE}


LOVE IS SACRIFICE... U DON'T TRULY LOVE SUMONE UNLESS U'RE WILLING TO LAY DOWN YOUR LIFE FOR THEM, U WILL ONLY DIE OR KILL FOR THE PEOPLE U TRULY LOVE... THINK ABOUT IT, THE FEW PEOPLE U WOULD JUMP IN FRON OF A BULLET FOR... MAYBE UR MOM, KIDS, SISTER OR BROTHER, MAYBE A TRUE FRIEND OR TWO, UR DAD, UR GRANDMOTHER OR GRANDFAHER, AND IF U'RE REALLY LUCKY, THAT SPECIAL SUMONE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE... TRUE LOVE IS SACRIFICE.... LOVE IS SACRIFICE MANE....


ninabeena


hmmmm..... i don't know man. i agree with you in that i feel that most people don't know what they're talking about when they say they love someone or are in love. I mean, look at the ease in which the word love is used - Personally, I love french fries, and I would love to go to Europe. If love is so strong an emotion, why is it so easy to relate it to something so trivial? I read somewhere that the average time that it takes a dating couple to say they love each other is 6 weeks - How the hell do you figure out such an emotion as 'love' in so short a time? I don't disagree that most people rationalize lust and desire as true love, because if you ask them a year later if they still love that person, 9 times out of 10 the answer is no. So yes, there really is no noun for which love the verb is a reflection - the noun itself is love, which isn't a tangible thing. On the other hand, I do still believe in love. I can't honestly believe that the close partnership and/or codependency and understanding that i've seen in some couples is only related to their being scared the other person will leave them. I feel like it has to be a very strong emotion, a strong force, that convinces you to spend the rest of your life essentially sleeping, eating, and being with one person - I was under the impression it was not human nature (or at least not male human nature) to have only one partner. I don't think that strong force is something basal like fear, but what it is I don't know. But I suppose when you meet the one, you just know.

Untitled

Current mood:Contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry

When you want every girl
You can have any girl
So why would you only want one
How could that be more fun
I like women
I lust for life
But I need just one
Cuz I can only love my wife
So is that why I write?
Eventhough the fish never bite
When I decorate my bait
And I can't wait
Because seven years is much too late
My luck might not get any better
So I write myself a letter
And I still try to get her
Cuz love is life
And life
Is about the possibilities
After all
Anything is possible
Cuz life is love
And right now you are all I think of
It was just the same the day before
And will be forever more
And I won't look back
I won't regret
Cuz I didn't let
Her get away
And I never settled
For anything less
Than the best

More New Shit

Category: Writing and Poetry

I decided to give yall something I know is finished

Untitled

AzapoetIcanwriteasonnetoraballadorbothoranode
OrIcanbedescriptivelylyricallyrythmicintheformofpoetryorprose
So now as I flow
I still don't know
Which way to go
So I'll just go
Some way I know
Will make people go
Oh!-

He really is innovative in his modes

And I'll keep one rhymes schematic in this poem
On ode to modes of poetry and prose
And one day I can only hope
The phrases I thought to wrote
Can become part of an ancient quote
Or some artistic allusional note
And the critics will spoke
Oh! -
I know this flow. It goes in a very exciting mode
And I hope I won't have croaked
So then I will be able to note
That some of the quotes I wrote
Were dope ins someone else's dome

Then I will have written a universal poem



Ashley #3

When I try not to be so strong
I come across as weak
How many want to have a man
Who can only be humble and meak
One I hope
Actually I prayed
Eventhough I said
I would never again
Ask God for a woman
But it just came out
Like so many emotions
And I think love potions
Have taken me over
Cuz never has another
Made me smile
Just by sitting a while
And simultaneously die
Cuz niggahs made her cry
Who could be so special
And never have been told
I guess that one
With whom I never waxed bold
Try as I would
I never could
Do more than run away
And come back another day
But there must be some other way
Cuz now she runs away
Never to return
But I'll still yearn
For years to come
And I hope I learn
How to make you understand
My plan to be your man
To hold your hand
As you rise to stand
Cuz you've been
Chosen
World's Greatest Woman
Because instead of the path
That would have made last night the past
You chose a man
Who doesn't lie
Or blow highs
And never makes you cry
Just sits and listens
And only blows clits
Uses finger tips
To induce new levels of being ripped
Highs unimaginable
That keep you feeling until
We return to each other
As forever lovers

New Shit

Category: Writing and Poetry

I though it was time for a new poem. Well at least its new to yall. I'm on a writing hiatus.

Theres no title.

I'm six-foot-four
And you still can't see me
Be wth me for years and not understand what it means to C me
Maybe if you could read a
thousand words at once you might get the picture
But many of you won't feel the
whole worth even if I look at it with you
And when I ask why you don't
You think because I won't
let you in
- Wait rewind some
I meant to ask why you won't
I mean - 'cause you don't
get it then
Shit it's as simple as complex could be
Simply try not to read someone
else's complexity in context with me
And don't do it vice versa to me
Because individuality means
each one's a different person to me
So why would one think one's standards apply to me
Or even to think I'm standard conventionally
I'm Jason
Jason Sloan
And on the phone
I might say
From LA
But that ain't where I stay
So what is this game I play
I may be speaking on my plan to roam
And eventually return home
Try to understand when
I go off on a tangent
My original plan
Is to expand
On who this man is
Since y'all don't understand when
Sheep travel across foreign lands
It's probably not sheep you began with
Hell you could get me on infinite bandwidths
But only one of me exists
So even though all my channels play different music
All of them are me with different gifts
And all these gifts God gave me
On my original birthday
After mom and dad made me
And when I fall God saves me
Hell I ain't no fool
I follow his rule
I do what he says do
If it ain't in the book
I won't do
Cuz when you follow man
Instead of God's plan
You'll never win

You know what?...I may not be done with this. But here it is anyway. Me Vale Verga.

Nice guys and Nice girls

Current mood:Optimistic
Category: Romance and Relationships

So my friend reposted this bulletin I think I posted before too. I can’t find it or you know I would post it for yall. But you have probably seen it. It goes on and on about the cues that women miss from nice guys and some behaviors that are inappropriate on dates. I remember some of the key points and I’ll go over them.

Ladies I got something for you too. I have a friend on here who is constantly wondering what a nice girl should do to meet a nice guy. And for my swinging and switch hitting friends just change all the genders around.

The one thing that stands out from the nice guy’s letter was he got angry because some girl ignored him in favor of a friend who walked into the restaurant or club they were in. Now of course, women shouldn’t give anyone more attention than their date. But most women know the rules. They know better than men. So, if you’re out with a girl and she jumps up and starts talking to an old for a long time and never introduces you, it’s because you aren’t that special. Move on!

So you’re a nice guy and you keep meeting awful girls. Or you’re a nice girl and you keep meeting awful guys. Or you’re an alien who keeps meeting dirty humans. So what! That’s what dating is. Dump ‘em and keep it moving. Life is the try and the fail. And life is great! Dating is fun.

There’s tons of women out there. Just like there are tons of men out there. But don’t get confused. Most people have only one person they are supposed to be with. And THE KICKER IS, they may actually never meet that person. But I’ll be damned if I stop looking. Really. I’ll be damned. How can we be scared to test the water.

Just love. Lose. Love again. Repeat.

Trust me. Its fun!


And don't lie about what you want and who you are.

Be good babies!

Willie Lynch [Update]

[This is the Shit Starter! I tried it on MySpace. Let me give it one more whirl before the rewrite for the book. This is a topic I WILL NOT let go. This is the essence. This is the root of niggardom. If we are to get anywhere in this country, we must get past this. So I will keep poking (in the EYE!) until someone speaks out.]

Posted Date: : Feb 13, 2006 1:53 AM

There's this letter that I have seen over and over circulating through intellectual circles. Most recently it was posted on a friends blog. I have to take this opportunity to further enlighten.

First here is the letter:

This speech was delivered by [b]Willie Lynch on the bank of the James River in the colony of Virginia in 1712. Lynch was a British slave owner in the West Indies. He was invited to the colony of Virginia in 1712 to teach his methods to slave owners there. The term "lynching" is derived
from his last name.

"Gentlemen. I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First, I shall thank you, the gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies, where I have experimented with some of the newest and still the oldest methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome's would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King, whose version of the Bible we Cherish, I saw enough to know that your problem is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along its highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasions. I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree, a couple miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, You suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed. Gentlemen, you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING YOUR BLACK SLAVES. I guarantee every one of you that if installed correctly IT WILL CONTROL THE SLAVES FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On top of my list is "AGE" but it's there only because it starts with an "A." The second is "COLOR" or shade, there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations, t-- of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you a outline of action, but before that, I shall a-- you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don't forget you must pitch the OLD black Male vs. the YOUNG black Male, and the YOUNG black Male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE. And the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have you white servants and over- seers distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen."


Now here are the facts. Willie Lynch never existed. The letter is fake. The sentiment is real. Slave owners did discuss tactics of controlling slaves with each other much like business owners discuss management techniques today. The system of slavery is over. Black people are still disjointed. Poor people are still disjointed. The techniques discuss in this fictitious letter are still used in business today. It drives not racism but a much larger more important system. In fact racism is, if anything, derivative of this system. The system is capitalism.

Capitalism is what drives this country. It drives the world economy. In order for it to continue. Certain techniques have to be employed. These are the same techniques that were employed during slavery both in America and around the world. In order for there to be a ruling class in this land of opportunity there has to be working class. A lesser class. No one grows up wanting to be a janitor or a servant or anything menial. No one also grows up with their sole goal in life being to make another man wealthy. But that is what happens. And no one ever asks why.

Why are music stars unconcerned about being robbed and making less money than a label owner when they are the talent, they create the music? Why do we get mad at athletes for wanting more money when a talent less old man is making more just for owning a group of athletes. Or better yet why isn't education mandatory for athletes? Who would really want an athlete to really know what's going on with ALL the money that is made in the sports industry? Why is the emphasis on fake weapons and so called terrorists? Why was the richest oil country on the top of the "terrorist" list when it was one of the countries least friendly to terrorists?

The bottom line is that these are all distractions. The techniques described in the Willie Lynch letter are still in affect today with Black, White, and every other type of poor person today not because of racism but because of capitalism. If we are all running around chasing our tails, then the wealthy will just strap us into the system and let out running spin the wheels of the economy. In the end we may get rich but the wealthy will always get more. I know what I intend to do about it. But its really up to yall and what yall want to do. But knowledge is power, so there you go.

Be good babies!

[Update] I really, really need feedback. I know this is a volatile issue. I know people say don't discuss religion, politics, or (something else-I don't listen to BS as much as I should). But guess what...THOSE people DO discuss religion and politics. And we don't because we feel a certain way. And THOSE people who do talk keep the upper hand while we are afraid to discuss something we feel so strongly about...SMH...

We're running out of time. We better get with it!

NIggahs (Updated)

This is the one. Even though I am in the process of deleting friends, this will make some people just jump ship on their own.
I wanted to post the actual news footage on here but here is the link:

Here is a quick recap. A black boy in some part of America got into some kind of disagreement with his white teacher. The white teacher then told the boy to go sit down, niggah NOT nigger, but niggah. There was definite distinction made between the two words and both agree that is was niggah not nigger. The white teacher says the black boy called him niggah first. It is likely but there was no one around to verify whether the boy said that or not. The boy denies it.

I know you know where I am going with this. What you may not know is my position on this subject.
Let me start out by saying that I am sick and dead dog tired of this topic. What sickens me most is that so-called intellectuals get hung up on this subject. Carter Woodson spent his entire epilogue explaining why the names we use are the least important to our progress. I have had friends argue that the internalization of derogatory terms that brings us down. But we internalize the term ourselves and we bring our selves down. But that is a divergent train of thought. Back to the main topic.

I’m sure everyone has seen parodies of the white guy who gets beat up for saying niggah around black people. I’m sure some of us have been in the real life situation. I have to say that I don’t care. I have only ever been called nigger once. It was by an old black woman. I have been called niggah millions of times by virtually all of my friends. It’s no reason to call the NAACP.

I see many millionaires on TV who most likely can’t read. Call the NAACP for that. I decided long ago that we would never be able to stop Black people from using niggah. Therefore, I just dont care if another race uses that word. Jews don’t go around calling each other kikes or whatever. No other race does that. Its just insanity! Don’t we have better things to do.

By the way the boy was lying. He called his teacher niggah first. And the whole community gets behind THIS boy. I can’t get behind a liar.

I hope the link works and I hope yall get a new perspective. The teacher was very eloquent in his defense of his use of the word. Holler at me yall. I want some dialogue but I want to see and end to this discussion.


[Comments]

the link doesn't work and i'm being lazy, so based soley on your blog from what I gather, yes the teacher was dead wrong. i try not to assume people's meanings in the things they say or do so I honestly have no opinion on the fact that Teacher used a form of the "nigg(er)/(ah)" term but I feel he was wrong to call the child out of his name period. he's the teacher. he's here to set an example and be the bigger person; teach lessons through his own actions. that being said though and aside from the "racial" factor, sometimes with kids, you have to flip the situation on them and make them walk in the tennis shoes that they themselves lace up for other people by doing to them what they do, for lesson's sake. so they know and understand how it feels. i don't know the details of this story and i'm certainly not justifying the teacher for saying what he said, i was just pointing out the bold print for the hell of it now as for the term and who gets to say it - i could care less. i say it. i say it all the time. in my personal Ceballos Dictionary, Tami L. Edition, it is a term for one person or persons, regardless of color or race and i 've always used it as such. it only bothers me when people outside my black heritage says it and means it derrogitorily (hey this word is also in my dictionary) for a fact, and is purposely demeaning my race. I'll check the link at some point and be back.…

Good answer. You are right about teachers being responsible. I was talking about the uproar over the word. The link mot working is probably why people haven't been responding. Sorry

checked the link. my first reaction without giving too much thought (to avoid a tangent) is the hoopla over it all is dumb. the teacher's response is good enough for me, whether he's just using that as a crutch to not make the intent of matters as bad as some may view it. in particular, i'm referring to him saying that he hears NIGGA/(s) all the time in the hall. i'm big on folks being a product of their environment and learning from example and classic conditioning. if you hear a song over and over again, you learn the words. if you are put in a foreign country, even if for needing to be there for years, being surrounded by only their language, you pick it up; you learn it; you adapt to how certain terms and phrases are used and what tones they are used in. call me dumb, but to me this is the same thing. the man hears it all the time, you don't expect him to slip, though i don't think it was that he slipped in this particular case, but he mentioned using the term before. he says he said it back in retaliation, so to speak because i don't recall right now the phrase he used exactly when explaining saying whatever to the kid, and if so, i don't care. see original comment. some kids need to experience what they dish...but the kid says he didn't use the term...kids lie especially when they want someone in trouble. notice at the end he wasn't big enough to say, "...apology accepted," he said that he thinks the teacher deserves not to work there anymore and i'm sorry but it seemed like he said more like a naner naner naner, i got you fired for saying that to me sort of thing. i may be wrong, but it was how i felt after watching that bit. anywho j, your point was the uproar and once again i've talked too much. the uproar to me was overrated.

amen and i agree with you. once again, people are worried about the wrong damn thing. worry about the starving children around the corner or the economy, not the white man's use of a word we use ourselves every day. Even though I don't feel there is always a distinction between nigger and nigga when someone of another race uses it, it was obvious to me from watching the clip that the teacher was trying to prove a point, and was not totally out of line. Granted, he is a teacher and should never call a student a name, but I bet otherwise that smart-ass kid wouldn't have sat down - so the teacher got his attention and people want to jump on the bandwagon to have him strung up by his toenails now. doesn't make any sense. i wonder if the teacher had been black if they would have just laughed it off?

[2010 Update]
This was before the Al Sharpton “Death Of The N Word”. You know that I now fully embrace the word and will use it freely and descriptively as often as possible. In fact, I wish the teacher had used it in a bad way. I would be on his side still. Niggardom is completely unacceptable. I hate label children but this was three years ago the kid’s grown now. That kid was a nigger. He deserved more than to be called niggah by his teacher. I truly wish we could all get past this word. The only way to do so comes from eradicating niggardom first. Let’s get to work!