Gaydar

[When I say gay, I don't mean it in a good way. I mean it in the most Eminem, South Park, Boondocks way I can!]

Jacquelyn NeCole asked the question - *Question to the fellas* Does a straight man hang with gay/bi-sexual guys? If they do does that make them suspect... hmmm?

I knew immediately what she wanted. She wanted another way to detect homosexuality in a man. This Down Low shit has a ton of women AND men nervous. The Gaydar is up all over the world.

The Down Low is the epitome of sexual dishonesty AKA Lying-On-Your-Dick/Pussy. With the prevalence of STDs, the most dangerous of them being “Butt-Juice-Pussy”, people need full disclosure when it comes to sex and being safe. There is no room for confusion or flat out lying. Sex without trust is so horrible; I would just rather not have sex. And I like sex. I like it A LOT. A LOT.

A WHOLE LOT!!!

But,

I am deathly afraid of Butt-Juice-Pussies! But-Juice-Pussy (BJP) is a condition that occurs when a woman dates a Down Low man inside a committed relationship or inside any relationship where Naked-Dicking occurs. Naked Dicking is already dangerous. But add secret sex to the mix and we are talking about juggling grenades with no pins in them.

With all of this in mind, it is VITAL that women and men, straight or gay, be able to spot liars in their midst. I wish I knew EVERY sure sign that a man is on the Down Low. I would tell. I would spend my last dollar publishing and distributing the book along with a list of notable Down Low men, for free! Honest people deserve to know when they are being tricked.

According to Sanyika – “You live in Atlanta, everybody is gay!” But this is not about judging people. I don’t judge. I really could care less about what anyone does in his or her bedroom. This is about keeping honest men and women safe from the dishonest.


So here’s what I know. Maybe it will help women and men remain safe in their relationships and avoid any BJP. (Of course, that’s assuming they don’t want any BJP!)

The gay friends I have are all out of the closet. I don’t like to talk about sex with anyone. I was raised to believe that those who talk about it aren’t doing it. So, like ALL of my friends, I’m a friend with gay people not because of whom they sleep with. Personally, some of the dating choices my straight friends make are pretty disgusting. SICK! (That’s a whole other blog.)


If any one of my “straight” friends turned out to be gay, I would have an issue. The issue wouldn’t be their sexuality but the dishonesty. I have stopped being cool and/or trusting a lot of friends for lying on their dicks. If we are friends, the foundation of that is trust. If I can’t trust you, we can’t be friends.


I do suspect a few acquaintances. The fact is the down low is real. Statistically speaking, with all the people I know, a few of those people are in the closet. The truth is, most of the people I suspect would surprise the HELL out of most females.


It is YOU! That’s right. You are reading this and wondering if I know. I DO! See! You just proved it. SMH. So sad. Just give it up. Come out the closet now and no one will get hurt. The longer you drag this out, the worse it will be when I finally REALLY put you on blast.


I have proof. It’s just not time yet to put people on blast.



You probably have BJP. I just chose not to tell you because you got on my nerves today. Good luck with that shit. (And there actually is fecal matter in your P. SMH)


I’ve been to a gay club. In fact, you DO have BJP! Your dude was there. WITH A MAN!


I don’t fuck for an audience. I don’t lie on my dick. I don’t talk about my dick. I don’t take pictures of my dick. I believe anyone who does is not just suspect. Niggah you gay!


Secret anything between couples is suspect. Friends you’ve never met, a secret family, a secret job, secret habits, secret anything is SO VERY suspect.


Machismo is suspect, especially around other men. The louder you are about homophobia, your dick, or sex in general; the more suspect you are. Why do I give a shit about any of that? I’m not going gay bashing with you. That shit is a terrorist act. I have absolutely no interest in the horrible looking women you choose to sleep with. I don’t want to watch porn with you because there are no women around. NO WOMEN = Niggah…You…Gay!


To answer Jacquelyn’s question directly, being suspect is not about being cool with gay/bisexual people. It’s suspect if dudes are too cool with other dudes. I know men who have fraternal ties with other men. They are supposed to be really close. They aren’t overly close though. Suspect dudes have “best friends” who are as close as girls are. Men don’t change clothes around each other. The one exception is a sports locker room. (Not the LA Fitness locker room! SMH) Real sports. Professional sports. Men don’t hold hands or get drunk and sleep in the same bed. (Head to feet past 16 is not cool)




Please also understand that nothing is exact. Especially this. There are variables. For instance, in the South, men are more effeminate. That means women have to look past the superficial and find patterns. My views may also be slanted. I have a father and we get along quite well. So I don’t have a lack of male bonding to fill. So I am more hesitant to be up in any other man’s face no matter how well we get a long. But I also have sister who I am close to. So I’ve seen Grease a million and five times, and the Bodyguard, and Beaches, and Tommy. AND I actually like romantic comedies. Now if a man said that who didn’t have sisters or REALLY close female relatives, …SUSPECT.
The bottom line is - be careful. But don’t let stereotypes lead you. PLEASE don’t let your friends’ experiences affect your judgment. Let everything be what it is and see everything AS IT IS. You be upfront with your mate at all times. It’ll be hard for anyone to trick you if you are REALLY keeping in 100 (RAY J!)

Also, not reading the whole blog (I know it's long Sanyika!) is gay!

Conspiracy Theories

Maisha Perkins set it off with this one.

Two things have been troubling me this week. One was The Tavis Smiley and Al Sharpton disagreement. The other was this Black Abortion/Genocide debate. In some kind of way, I think the two are connected.

Let me begin by saying these are two of the most ridiculous things I have heard in a long while. At least since niggers were scared to vote for Obama because they believed he would be assassinated.

I heard about the abortion thing first but I ignored it. So let me do the same now and talk about Al Sharpton. I don’t agree with Al Sharpton all the time. Obviously! His eulogy for the N word led me to call people niggers more than ever. I dig Tavis Smiley and I REALLY dig Cornell West. But I was actually reversed in this situation. We don’t need to be calling each other out for trivial issues like who called whom and who didn’t.

AND we need to get off Obama’s dick. (I know I’m vulgar but I’m that serious about it.) We got Tavis Smiley and Cornell West (Sorry Dr. West) accusing the Obama administration of being politicians. WTF! Is anyone in the government NOT a politician?
Didn’t he wild out enough? Let’s not forget the past two term presidents all save the MAJOR wilding out for the last term.

We’re so wishy washy, all this jaw jacking could lead to Obama only serving one term. The BEST politician Washington has seen in decades and WE could fuck it all up. SMH. Do we have to complain that much? Do we really NEED to complain this much?

And now, we’re letting conservatives stir us up into believing someone wants to kill our babies. SMH. (did I just shake my head two paragraphs in a row?)

Birth control is everything from abstinence to condoms to the pills to abortion. Conservatives don’t think so but we live in America. Church and State remain separate for a reason. Everyone should know how I feel about naked-dickin (if you don’t please read). I can’t pretend it doesn’t happen though. Like I be trying to tell Al Sharpton, just because you don’t say a word doesn’t mean niggers and naked-dickers don’t exist!

I’ve lived in three chocolate-cities. In all three, the rate of teenage pregnancy and STDs are ridiculously high. In all three, I have witnessed an over abundance of birth control. From cases (CASES) of rubbers in the projects in New Orleans (I didn’t even have to buy rubbers. I just went to the projects and picked up a case.) to barrels (BARRELS) of rubbers on the streets of Atlanta. And still naked-dickers choose to risk disease and pregnancy.

I remember begging (PLEADING with) a young man in New Orleans to wear a rubber to no avail. I also remember the same night a young woman insisting that I naked dick her. As beautiful as she was, all I saw was the promise she was throwing down the drain on momentary pleasure.

Before I get off too deep on Naked-Dickers let me just sum up. These are the cases we are dealing with. This is not genocide. (I beg people to watch – Idiocracy) If anything, capitalism would promote naked dicking. I would. As a business owner, I need cheap labor. Since slavery is over and Hispanics are starting their own businesses, niggers and naked-dickers seem the best candidates.

“You can’t afford this child you are about to have? Poor baby.” “Don’t worry! We’ll keep him for you in foster care. Then we’ll hold him in prison for a few years. And by the time he’s out and has given up his hip-hop dreams, I’ll hire him. He’ll be perfect! Prison will have him up early all time. And at 35, he’ll be broke down enough to take WHATEVER I choose to pay him.” Can we say Win-Win?

It’s all about options. Adoption isn’t really an option for Black children. It's simple supply and demand. Black children don't get adopted. There is a high demand for white children. As Dana (On Mai Perkin’s Page) said, if we increased the demand for Black children in adoption, then abortion wouldn't be the primary option for unplanned pregnancies.

I’m all about being positive and being a math major I know that sometimes the most positive thing is the least negative. In some cases, abortion is the least negative. Contrasted against a life of poverty, never having existed is a much better option. And, remember, we are talking about the point when prospective parents decide they can’t afford a child.

The conspiracy is simple. Capitalists should and probably would support naked-dickin. Pro-Lifers are crazy! They will do anything. They blow up buildings like terrorists. And now they want to use Black people.

Despite this alleged recession, America is in good shape. Black America is in great shape. (We’ve been recession proof since forever!) Let’s not be distracted by finger pointing and conspiracy theories. There are still some miserable people around. We all know misery loves company and depressed people spend money. (It’s always about the money) Let’s keep our focus. Our communities and our nation have a bright future.

Shame on anyone who says otherwise!

God’s Plan

I’ve been hearing a lot of people say, in various ways, “Let Go and Let God.” I may have even mentioned it. But how many of us are ACTUALLY doing it. How much letting go are we doing? And how much letting God is going on? Are we blaming God for doing for we really wanted to do the whole time? Or are blaming God for not facing our fears?

I spoke briefly on how hard meditation is. Let me repeat. THAT SHIT IS HARD! It makes me wonder how a person can just say – Let go and let God. It’s Lent now. We are honoring the 40 days and 40 nights Jesus went into the wilderness before beginning his ministry. Our challenge is sit still and control our thoughts for 30 minutes a day. How is that going for us?

We are so quick to call ourselves Christian. But are we? How far away is 30 minutes from 40 days? (That’s if we are even committed to that type of meditation.) But we are letting go.

Letting go is key to letting God. Maybe, if we can achieve mental silence, we can see what’s inside of us. Then we can let go of the past and look forward to the future. Maybe we can see what’s really going on around us right now. Perhaps, we’ll be able to see which decisions we’re making as a result of which emotions.

I was thinking that perhaps we aren’t being as assertive in our own lives because we don’t know what God wants. So we sit back, chill and wait. But if we don’t know how to listen (better yet!), if we don’t know what/who to listen to, how will we ever know…