Mother's Day

Current mood: sleepy
Category: Writing and Poetry



2nd Mother

You didn't teach me how to drink
You taught me how to think
How to treat ladies
How to meet ladies
How to see ladies
How to live in this world
To be a man not a girl
You gave me muscles I can't get from curls
With a simple yes or a no
You gave me so much more than you know
Even though I don't say it
You are a great mother



thank u 4 that little peom .i like






Cute. Simple. Sweet. I'm sure it would bring a smile to your mother's face.


It did. It was a card for my Step Mother on Mother's Day

Special Kiss

Current mood: chipper
Category: Writing and Poetry


(Untitled)

Do you know what I want? You do I believe
Its less what I want but more what I need

Something to accomplish before I proceed
Something undone something more to achieve

Don't think it's a conquest. That'll never be
It's more of a challenge. There's more to me

S'far as I can remember. Far's I see
Someone's been missing from all the parties

Like something's been promised but never received
Or some special thing you never meant to leave

Virginity all over, that's what it is
Even if I've never had the thing I miss

Like something more than a kiss; sex is less
Only our minds come together for this

Virtually almost know what this thing is
Except I'm not sure I deserve such gifts

Let me know I'm not just being foolish
Otherwise we have left something unfinished
Very well may be - you, love, me? My last wish
Endless kissed first kiss forgets last kiss





It's a nice little piece, it just makes you sound a little lonely; as if you are just experiencing a breakup. It belies your notation that your mood is "chipper".


This one was just something I had written before and was just now posting. So my mood was chipper when I posted. But there is a definite longing in this poem. The experience is way after a break up just trying to find that one great kiss again. Plus I like kissing. And a lot of people don't kiss anymore.

My First time

Current mood: crazy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Forgive the language. The rest is self explanatory. No story necessary



Miss Stank #1

Since you're so clever
Tell me would you ever,
Eat out a girl whose pubic hair needed air?

If your head was between legs
That smelled of rotten eggs
Just tell me would you lick, a smelly clit?

What if you were rubbing the clit,
And your whole hand fell into it
Would you ever fuck a girl who probably fucked the world?

Would you eat it any way?
Fuck so she won't call you gay?
Maybe some condoms could give some width to your dick.

Maybe, she might get up and clown
Then would you be able to pound,
A hole the size of a whale, as big as hell?

Why don't you stir it up,
Like coffee in a cup?
Just clink around the sides. What a ride!

Maybe she might get on top,
And rock and roll my jock
But she doesn't want to take a ride. I wonder why?

What'll she say once out of bed?
"I fucked you," nuff said.
But, what if you never reached the top? Never went pop?

What if as soon as you start you're ready to stop?
Suffice it to say my first time was a flop.






Wow...I feel really sory for you. sounds like a terrible experience.
Sounds like enough to make you never wanna do it again... yuck!


lol...i'm sorry if that's from experience...and I really REALLY hope u didn't lick that stuff lol


The surprising thing looking back is all the bullets I dodged. I never so much as caught a cold from a girl. I'm proud of my self control and appreciate that experiences like this one helped make that control stronger.


Hmm...and you tried it again after that?


My word no! I never go back to wack snatch.


All I can say is, if that was your first time, "Poor Baby!!! I certainly hope you've found better experiences to save you from giving up sex altogether! The kudo I feel like giving you for this piece is not for the experience, but for the "black comedy" it represents.

Bi Polar

Current mood: content
Category: Writing and Poetry

I wrote these two back to back. I don't remember which was first (I think it was the one you will read first). No titles but you'll see.


(Untitled)
I wrote my heart for you
And hoped the dreams would come true

Then long after number three, I came to see
That some dreams won't come true for you or me

So I'm finna give up hope and cope
Cause to be honest you ain't that dope

Not necessarily that you lack the looks
But it takes somewhat more than looks to keep me hooked

Looks don't comfort me from far away
They don't stay with me on lonely days

It's the words that make me sure I'm sure
And I'm sure your words ain't actually that mature

When you're here though, it's the look in your eyes
And the look of your eyes show me the lies

Don't think you can hide it in your voice
Cause this nigga don't buy shit like twelve year old boys

Maybe in your hips but not in your lips
You can't hide shit if your ass can't kiss

So now I ask why, why this lie
I already know you're not my type





(Untitled Part 2)

I wrote my heart for you
And hoped the dreams would come true

Then long after number three I began to see
That dreams can come true for you and me

So I'm never gone give up hope
Cause your love is so dope

How can I describe complexity in simple words
Love is like some thing of another world

There are no words English or Hebrew
To fully describe my feelings for you

It's the look at me with your eyes
And the caress as you pass me by

Then when we embrace, face to face
And who knows, who cares, who else is in our space

If I could sing it, it would ring
For every ever my God could bring

But I can find the right note
Or quite find it in the right quote

So I write it forever as it is
Eternally for you from you until our kids' kids

More Early Stuff

Current mood: creative
Category: Writing and Poetry

I used to exclsively write Petrarchan Sonnets. I started with Shakesperian Sonnets and "evolved" into Petrarchan. I came these recently.
Of course, I want to see how they go over now.
Notice

If you could only ever watch one thing
What would it be?
Of all the beauty and the joy life brings
What would you see?

Imagine to always see any one anything
To be able to see the future like the past
Imagine looking at pictures that always last
To be able to see every note a singer sings

What would you notice while you're looking?
How deep would you'go to find what you seek
What keeps your attention? What makes you think?
How would you feel watching your favorite thing?

Do you know what my one thing to see would be
I'd love to see you looking back at me



#1

When you hide what you feel the words ain't real
Trying to see through lies like a forest of vines
Too much bull crap to smell the truthful lines
Wondering if I can believe you feel what I feel

Is it fear that keeps us from being so near
Scared to love me, don't you know I love you
Since before I met you, I've pictured us as two
If only you knew, for you are my tears

Can we ever find a way to be together
Someone always seems to be between you and me
Something has to be done if we are ever to be
Could it be now, or never - us - together - forever

If today is our last day, then of course you may
Say what you feel always so we both can say -


- I love you


FYI - I do have new stuff. I want to try something first though. Bear with me. It'll come soon. I want to have a story to go with the new poems. And I want to finish my book. I'm wayyyyy behind schedule

Player Shit

Current mood: tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

A friend told me the other day that some of my poetry had a player feel to it. It was something that I never noticed. And today, I'm writing my final few poems and I realize she was right. I don't have any game in real life. But some of my poetry does have smooth flow to it. I have always denied the playerness because I fancy myself a different type of guy.

So what's the difference? Try these out and then I'll tell you the difference.

Love (1993)

If I'm in Los Angeles
And you're so far away
How is it I can feel your kiss
Each and every day?

How can you love someone
If they're never there?
How do you know there's only one?
If you both still care

What is the one time you felt her warmth?
Was when the romance began
Can you still hold her in your arms?
I believe you can

We shall meet again - I hope its true
But if we never…
… I'll always love you



(Untitled)

Let's do something
Let's explore something new
The closer I get to the fun thing
The more I get to know you
I don't know if I love you
But I know I can
I don't know if you want to
But I'll be your man
Just grab my hand
Then look into my eyes
Tell me we can do it again
Just you and I for both our lives

Every day with you is a brand new day
Each day we fall in love a brand new way

(Untitled)
I wrote my heart for you
And hoped the dreams would come true

Then long after number three, I came to see
That some dreams won't come true for you or me

So I'm finna give up hope and cope
Cause to be honest you ain't that dope

Not necessarily that you lack the looks
But it takes somewhat more than looks to keep me hooked

Looks don't comfort me from far away
They don't stay with me on lonely days

It's the words that make me sure I'm sure
And I'm sure your words ain't actually that mature

When you're here though, it's the look in your eyes
And the look of your eyes show me the lies

Don't think you can hide it in your voice
Cause this nigga don't buy shit like twelve year old boys

Maybe in your hips but not in your lips
You can't hide shit if your ass can't kiss

So now I ask why, why this lie
I already know you're not my type



The difference is simple. I write, I don't say. If you read through all my poems, I'm careful about the use of the word love. Love is both final and eternal for me. I'll always write love poems because love never dies. But I have rarely ever experienced that romantic love. I will always seek it never the less.

I'm even more careful in my interactions. It may seem like disinterest or some kind of game, but it is certainly neither. I have to be sure. Being a child of divorce, I fear putting any child through that. It's not an impossible situation, but its not easy. When I meet a woman, I always look all the way down the line, even if I'm only dealing with a one night stand. Not that I have many of those. It's never that pressing. I can wait.

Because of that. I don't sell dreams. I don't make promises I can't keep. I probably would have had a lot more sex if I did. (A LOT) But I don't so I didn't. I'm eternally open to change but that's one thing that never will. I refuse to compromise also. I want all or nothing. And I've accepted and have become comfortable with the possibility of nothing.

I just hope not too comfortable.






I think a lot of your poems sound like they are speaking from fear of being hurt. Maybe this is not the case, but it's the vibe I get. Poetry is an art form, and art imitates life, which in turn imitates art. The same is true for me, as I am most inspired to write when I am lonely, hurt, or afraid. Perhaps if you are using your poetry as an outlet to express your inner emotions, others may not always fully understand. What is most important is that you are true to yourself. We will all post comments telling you what we like and dislike, and although I am a fan, I will not (and do not) like everything you write, but my opinion doesn't really matter because I am not you and your art is a reflection of you, the artist. So just keep writing what you feel. Maybe when you find that one true deeply romantic love that takes you to another world, you will look back over your work and find that it no longer has a "player" feel. Your poetry will reflect what you feel inside...


Fear of being hurt. I think you have it. But also, I want to express a desire to not hurt. That's the anti-player. I don't know how often that comes across.


I disagree with the friend who feels that "player" vibe in your poetry (and by extension, you if you agree with that friend). I also enjoyed these untitled additions.


Its good to know I had skills all the way back then.

The Story Update

I know a lot of you read "The Story" and thought it was new. It was actually posted two and a half months ago. I re-posted it (For people who want to know how, just edit your old blog and change the date) for people who hadn't a chance to read it originally. I have to update you all though because I actually re read it today and I need to do so.

So...
I am no longer depressed. That actually went away like a few days after I wrote "The Story". I have to say it was the responses from my friends that helped with that. Kanye West had been reverberating in my head for the past year. I know what he was saying to me. I needed to lock my self in the house and really get my grind on. The question was when to start. Then came probation.
I am an optimist forever. These past few months I have had my moments as repressed stressed released itself. It’s mostly gone. I have new stresses but I am so much more dynamic now that I face it dead on and deal with it right away. Life is good.
Rick and Brandon came. I got a chance to hang with them. The curfew thing is not as strict as I thought it would be. I quit my job. I am taking a huge risk by leaving steadier money to sell used cars, furniture and appliances online. (If yall need some stuff, holler at ya boy! I came up this weekend.) Everything is looking up! My only worry now is whether or not I will ever drink again. Today, I don't think so. We'll see what happens in Vegas. (That is, of course, only if you are there too!)
So that's the update. I am having fun everyday because I have no idea what tomorrow brings. (Especially at these auctions) Come February, I know we will have so much more fun. The reason I may not drink is because I may be high of adrenaline. Now that you all have been updated, I hope those of you on the fence will come celebrate with me in Vegas.

The Story

So in October, I allowed my cousin to come out to Atlanta. I hadn't seen him in years. He had been in jail for this and that since he was 16. He was my favorite and I was glad to have him back in my life. We were supposed to put our heads together and start an enterprise. Apparently, he had some ideas that had impressed my dad. So I was eager to get him down hear and hear about his plans.

So he gets here. I am excited. But immediately, the excitement begins to fade. This is not the boy I grew up with. He looks the same. He doesn't talk the same. Some things are similar, some are different. This is a changed man. And his plans...
To call a spade. There are none. Specifically, he wants to sell Chronic. The plan initially sounds good. The risk is low. The profit is good. Something is missing though. I couldn't see it then. Obviously, I wish I could have seen it.
What was missing was discipline. Everything was loose from day one. And it got looser as the days went by. I was so wrapped up in showing my cousin a good time, reconnecting and getting him comfortable enough to stay, that I missed the opportunity to build a successful enterprise. Illicit as it was.
To the point. In November, I let my cousin use the truck while I was at work. Later we were supposed to go out. He was supposed to have sold the last two ounces of weed that day. When he showed up, though, it was bad business. He wasn't able to sell the ounces. I automatically assumed he left them at the house. I should have asked. I didn't until we were getting pulled over. (I had pulled out onto the street with out putting my headlights on.)
So now, I (since I was driving) am on probation for possession with intent (a felony). It will be reduced upon completion to a misdemeanor and discharged.
Initially, I was under the impression that it wouldn't be that bad. Just have to check in and stay straight for a short while. The only bad thing was looking at living in Georgia for longer than I wanted.
Then I went to the orientation for probation.
I came out nervous as hell. The first six months is supposed to intensive. I had no idea what that meant. I do now. I can't drink. I can't have alcohol in my house. I have a 7pm curfew everyday of the week. (it would be 5pm if I wasn't working) Since I work at a restaurant, I can only do lunch shifts. (That's the big money time of day!) And I can't leave the state, under any circumstances. I have to get permission to leave the county. So, I am cancelling trips to Ohio, Florida, LA and Jamaica.
So that's the major change in my life. The good side is I will be home and sober. That means I can write more. Read more. Plan more and make a few power moves from the comfort of my home. I am depressed now. I 'm sure that will go away. Hopefully, I will be richer in February for the experience, both spiritually and financially.
I hope you all understand. Even though I set this as preferred, I will most likely add everyone who asks.

Not many would share this or see the optimistic aspect.

"No drugs or alcohol, so I can get the signal clear,"

This is a blessing. Never forget that. You will come out richer since you obviously see the error in your ways. God's just leading you back to Him so you can get yourself back on track to the road He's paved for you. Remember THAT plan, that I as the reader, should come to a conclusion of?? Well get packing cause God's leading you back to it. This is good. You have the understanding, now have patience. It'll be over soon. And just in time, right? FEBRUARY >> Vegas. Yay for me. I'm curious. How was your cousin during that pullover and after? Is he still out there with you? Did he learn any lessons?

He didn't learn. He actually went to jail last month in Vegas. I don't know if you heard about it on the news. That was him. It’s probably a wrap for him. It’s sad.

Living Word

Current mood: sleepy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Living Word

I wanna give life to words
As you bring my words to life
I want to smile at seemingly similar similes
As big as all the alliterations I always write
Like doing the same thing
With the same women
To the same woman
At the same time
In the same place
But not the same pace
And not the same rhyme
Not in the same stance
Not at the same rhythm
Like saying the same word with different meanings
Like being in a different place with the same being
Get my drift

Saying the same thing with different words
You heard me
Like action without the presence of any verbs
Anything is possible if you believe just that
Because life is love and love is not an act
Love is a fact
And life is how you act

Black on Black

Current mood: relaxed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Black on Black

Do black people have the time
For black on black crime
And why do we whine
And chase behind
So called man kind
Do you know why
They call themselves mankind
Because that's what kind
Of animal type
They try to hype
Themselves up as
Time after time
And we all want to wind
Up as tea in their cup
Now we've all been tricked
And we're getting raw dicked
It was such a sinch
Just ask Willie Lynch
'Cause he put us in this pinch
When he wrote that letter
Instructions to fuck us better
And we gave wetter header
After that letter
We ain't trust our brothers
We hate our sisters and mothers
But we trust our uncle
Who ain't my mother's brother
But some other
Power lover
And another
Thing
We bring
To each other
When we sing
Is an empty space
Filled with hate
Against our own race
Cuz I live in another state
And it ain't even my place
Hell, I stand in another's land
This ain't my sand
At this beach
But we still teach
That this land is our land
This ain't even our home
We're all on the roam
All alone
Heated to the bones
Seeking anything
To quench this itch
But hol' on
It won't be long
Till we belong
Brother to brother
Sister to sister
Mother to father
And father to mother
All
Together now to each other
Fuck all the rest
We black on black





Um... I like the words and the message. Good rhythm.


Thank you! The rythm is what I work towards. Lately, more so than the rhyme. The subject matter is rare for me so I really enjoy that you liked it.


Truth is what it is.


It's three-quarters pessimistic, one-quarter optimistic, but I like it.


Hi Jason,
I really liked this one especially the part that starts with "We ain't trust our brothers
...ain't my mother's brother"


Marijuana man, marijuana




This is deep. I can appreciate the knowledge expressed.


I really like what ur saying here....keepin it real

Tomorrow

Current mood: tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

Tomorrow

I wish
Besides a kiss
I mean I miss
Despite your thighs
The thing I try to find
It is your eyes
The way they look at me
So unapologetically
Emotionally
What do they see
Perhaps you and me
Being
Together completely
When we return
What will we learn
Of each other
How to be lovers
Or will we end
As we begin
Truly friends
Perhaps we can
Begin true friends
And end
Hand in hand
Gland in gland
Woman and man
Or maybe it will never end
And
We will forever send
Love notes
Filled with quotes
Full of hope
That we can last
Way past
A day that never comes
Way past
The day we stopped being young
Until that day
We lay and wait
We see a woman become a girl
We experiencen the world
We see a man become a boy
Then sorrow turns to joy
After we defeat each others' sorrows
Together until today becomes tommorow





This one is very thought-provoking. I like the way you tied in the past, present, and future. And very realistic... It made me feel like it was about me.


It is for you


That's sweet. Thanks... lol :)


Perhaps I'm reading to much into it, but it reads as if there was a love lost through a misunderstanding, that was "refound" with the hope of a better one. Shows much optimism for tomorrow. I like it.


You hit it right on the head


this is definitely one of your best pieces! You should listen to John Legend everyday...


John Legend wasn't even out when I wrote this. But he was when I posted it. But I just got the new CD so I'mma listen to only it while I work. For about a week.


Very nice L.A :)


Wow! This almost didn't make the book.

Poor Democrats

So I was going to let another political fiasco go by with out saying a word about it. I mean, I thought about talking about the gay Republicans. I thought about talking about why Barack Obama may or may not be the first black president of the United States. Or why Hillary Clinton may or may not be the first woman president. But no, I will talk about why John Kerry will never be president and why the Democrats are going to get their asses handed to them next week.

I'm listening to Frank and Wanda this morning (I wanna find Frank after this and tell him how wrong he is on this), and they are talking about this Kerry fiasco. It didn't become a fiasco until he apologized. I knew he would and when he did, I just shook my head.

The Republican party has the best spin doctors in the universe. Virtually all of America is afraid to say the wrong thing about this war we allegedly won years ago. Its been years people. Remember Bush in the flight suit. How dare we mention how many soldiers are still dying lest we insult the soldiers who will die tomorrow. Don't even point out the FACT that more soldiers die in a month now than the entire time before Saddam was caught and victory was declared. And by no means, should you ever, ever, EVER ask when we are going to pull out of Iraq. The answer by the way is - when we have something going on bigger than Iraq going on.

Just my take for the ones who want to know about what Kerry said. (By the way - he told a bunch of college students to study and get good grades or they would end up in Iraq.) He made a reference to options. But mainly, he was talking about the draft. There will be one. And if you flunk out of school. Or can't pay. Or have to leave. You're going to Iraq. Soldiers who are already enlisted, had a choice. They chose to enlist. Picked the branch. And tested for a job they would like to have. A draftee has less of a choice. They will be tested but they get last priority compared to enlisted men/women. All that is to say - Study or Front Line.

Kerry is a smart man. But as smart men do, (think Gore turning down Clinton's help) he made a fatal error. He backed down to the Republican spin machine. For Christ sakes! There are gay congressmen chasing minors!!! (The key word is minors not gay) AND he back down to a democratic party he has all but turned his back on. John Kerry has (had) the democratic nomination whether or not they wanted to give it to him. He starts out as unafraid and independent of everyone. Then he buckles. He buckled in '04. He's buckling now. Two years later! That's chronic buckling. You don't want to be known as a chronic buckler. People like to play with buckles. Push the button while they're at the light. Push it when they're on long trips just to pass time. Just checking to see if it still works or how long it will last. John Kerry has become a sometime safety restraint. Sometime plaything. He's a buckle.

The Democratic National Convention is only partially to blame. Granted they buckled first. But they are just an approval body. They are supposed to represent all registered Democrats. Whether or not they actually do that is of no concern. They continue to get punked by the Republicans. It takes a candidate who operates oblivious to Democratic cowardice. Like Bill Clinton. Like Barack Obama. Like Hillary Clinton. Not like John Kerry.

But don't ask me. I voted for Nader. I probably will again.