She's Just Not That Into You

This is a very different blog from any that I have ever written. In the past I promised not to mention any names. Today, I can’t be me without at least a few details. I may still not mention names but I may have to get more personal than I’ve ever been.

It sounds dramatic but it’s not. Only people who recognize themselves in situations will even notice. The problem is that last time I did something like this the people involved were moved to bring their situation to light. So to those people who may or may not be mentioned or alluded to – Good luck with that shit!

"She's just not that into you" - There's a common misconception that women are so desperate for a mate that they will go for whatever. While this may be true superficially, deeper connections require vigilance on the part of men. (If you are just looking to hook up, this is not a blog for you. Continue meaningless [while probably gratifying] trysts till you are ready to settle then come back to this.)

I wrote a blog about dating in Atlanta but I was too general to get my point across. Let’s talk about me.
Like I said before, the women in LA are more straightforward. I come from an arm-grabbing state. If a man finds you attractive he will grab you. How hard depends on his level of urgency. Women in California will fight back though. They quickly calmed the arm grabbing down. Women in California are assertive. They will ask for and get what they want.
In fact, I have noticed that mixing the assertiveness of a Cali woman with the passiveness of a Southern man and the Cali woman will never leave. Why leave a matriarchal structure to become secondary in a strongly patriarchal situation? When it’s a Cali man and a southern woman, the assertive male is like to take advantage of the situation and leave when the moment is opportune.
But that was the last blog.

Let’s talk about dating two years later. Southern women are getting hip. Thanks to a few suckers, T. D. Jakes, Creflo, a couple of Pulpit Pimps, Three tricks, a few low self esteemed drug dealers, and an ex high school football player turned security guard. Unfortunately, the men aren’t realizing what’s going on. Women today are so hype to keep a man; they will stick around even if they don’t like you.

So I don’t know how many times I’ve found myself dating women who wouldn’t go away. I used to joke about my boy whose girl at the time told him no when he said he wanted to break up. Now, I got my own stories. From the invasion of the “celibate” girls to the “pay her” players, women who don’t even like me have been trying me up since that last blog. Unfortunately, now is not the time to speak about those individual stories. (They are good if you haven’t heard them!) In general, what all these women had in common was an ability to tolerate the unacceptable.
We all know about the extremes: the battered women, the abused, the used, the tricked, the played, the just all out retarded; but what about everyone else. What about the one’s who are just not dating the right guy. He may be nice; he may be cool to be around, he may have certain talents. Yall may even be a cute couple that gets along. But one or the both of you know there is no forever there.
I have had a lot of fun with a few ladies recently. It’s been my curse and gift though to be able to see the mismatch before the ladies I’ve been involved with do. Or maybe I just acted first. I have come to believe it’s the latter. Playing for keeps with a lot of women has come to include playing dumb. Women will ignore the obvious and just continue to be polite simply in order to remain in a relationship.
I have to wonder if men realize what I have. And I absolutely must know for certain if women truly are hanging around guys they don’t like just to have a connection with SOME BODY.

I need help on this one…

The Super Senior Is Reborn

For the past few years, I have been living in fear. Too many fears to enumerate.

Now is the time to face my fears. My hood is behind me. I got my God. I believe in ME. I got my family. Both the family I already have and the family I'm intended to create. I already have my friends. I got old friends, new friends and a bunch of niggahs who just won’t go away. I got a gang that will beat any gang out there.

First, the people at Landmark told me - you already are who you're supposed to be. Then, my brother’s church asked why are we scared to do what we are meant to do. What could we be scared of if we have the most powerful force in the universe on our side? So I said – I know huh! Why I been bullshitting? My gang is unstoppable. All I have to do is point and away we go!

So this is not really an essay.

This is my declaration. I ain’t scared of shit! No fear of failure. No fear of success. Not you! Not your mama or your bald headed granny! (She got a big behind like Frankenstein!) I’m stiff arming haters and dick-riders.

Every time I say I’m going back to school, my friends and family say go ahead! I used to hesitate. Not anymore. It’s official. I’m paying Xavier off; I’m going back to school and I AIN”T NEVER LEAVING! NEVER!!! PhDs MDs and some more PhDs

I’m buying houses for free! And I’m bum-rushing LA because that’s how I feel. I’m recession proof from this day forward.

The funny thing is, I have been training for this day for years. With every misstep/experience, mistake/lesson I have grown into this impervious juggernaut of wisdom, serenity and courage.

That means more blogs, an actual website, more attention to my friends and family (the one’s who don’t get on my nerves), more visits, more living, more life, more drinks, more love, more lovin, books, houses, parties all over the globe, and every lie I ever told coming true.


Get ready…

What I Learned About Love

For those of you who don't know. This is what I do on Facebook. At least until I get famous doing it that is. Get ready to be indoctrinated or re-indoctrinated because I piled up quite a few blogs in the past two months. Love it or leave it alone. This is what I want to share with you all. (At least until we're in the same room[bedroom!]) The love...




"Love your neighbor just as much as you love yourself" Everyone knows that. But do they know the key?

They key is to love yourself first. It all starts with you. To change the world, to change our nation, to change our societies, to change our communities, to change our associations, to change our family, to change our careers, to change our neighborhoods; we must first change ourselves.

We tend to think that all we do is grow up and we’re done. We get jobs (Careers if we’re lucky), we get families, we become responsible, we buy grown up stuff and that’s it. But wait!

God is not finished with us yet. We can’t be finished with ourselves that easily. We cannot be finished with each other.

We each have a personal relationship with God but it does not end there. It all began with Jesus. It continues through us. God sent his love of the world through Jesus. Jesus sent his love through us. If we consider ourselves Christian we must pay it forward. The love of God is meant to be shared. Jesus is love. Love is meant to be shared.

Some of us receive or have received the love of God. We fail because we keep that love inside. Pay it forward. Quit being crabs with the blessings. God's love is never ending. Quit being so tight with the one or two blessings you've received so far. Give those away to make room for the next one's.

You know these types of messages usually lean toward money. You know how they put up the most charismatic speaker to trick into thinking it ain’t about money and then they collect a couple hundred thousand in front of your face. But I ain't talking about money. Too many people throw money at things so that they don't have to give of themselves. Let me give an example of what I'm talking about.

I was so close with my paternal Grandmother. She didn’t have much. I wasn’t spoiled by her b any means. My dad took care of her. Before she passed, she was bed ridden. She couldn't talk all the time but she would always give me a wink. I couldn't wink back. I couldn't wink at all. That is, I couldn't wink until she passed. Now her wink is mine to share with the world. So, when I give you a wink, it’s a big fuckin’ deal (to quote a special lady).

Many of us have inherited love from grandparents, family members, lovers, .... Too many of us hold on to that, mourning indefinitely. Crying is cool. (Really! I enjoy it sometimes.) But no matter how much you enjoy something, no one watches “Beaches” 24 hours a day for Seven straight years! Give it all away. Our ancestors gave us the love of God to be given out to the world. The people with the wealthiest and richest lives are the ones who give it all away.

They tried to throw us off by implying the “Most Giving Entertainer” of all time was broke. I’m going to have to teach all yall how to read Statistics. Here we all know Michael Jackson had debt totaling 500 million. But only one obscure reporting agency completed the sentence. Assets totaled over 800 million close to 900 million. And he gave and gave and gave. (And I ain’t talking about payoffs) I’m talking about true charity. Giving what you really care about. Giving what is valuable to you.

The point is we can’t let others determine God’s plan for us. We just have to pay attention and listen to God. And realize we still won’t know what to do but be good.

Whatever that means…


"...a slave does not know his master's plans..." John 15:15







Don't think this means I'm going to be all mushy to yall. It's tough love over here. Prepare for some considerate cussing outs!