Dreams

Current mood: weird
Category: Life

The dreams started again.

About ten years ago I would frequently have dreams where I was awake but stuck in my bed. Things would be happening around me (pest and rodents multiplying exponentially, someone in the room with me. I would feel things) . The worst part of it was that I couldn't move. Seemingly I wouldn't be able to wake up. A few times I would awake to see a little white boy standing near me. The apparition would dissapear with the sleep.

Then I began to drink heavily. No dreams. No nightmares. Just sleep. Now, as I drink less and produce more, here they come again.

Lately, there has been a raccoon inches away from my face, ready to attack and tonight someone was tapping on my bed with increasing urgency until I awoke to see the littl white boy. I hadn't seen him in years. (How did he get to Georgia? Does he like it here? Did he like Vegas? New Orleans? He should have a gang of frequent flier miles.)

What the hell is going on? I just want to rest and start my new day. I'm so tired. And I haven't even begun the hard work. I don't have time to be troubled.

I'm too sensitive. Everyone has nightmares. Maybe I should get some Ambien. Naw.

I'll just have a cigarette and some beer and pray and go back to sleep.




People use to make fun of me years back when I would sleep with a Bible under my pillow. I had been going through the same thing back then when it was a regular that I would tuck my Bible safely under my head before forcing myself to go to sleep. This was exactly why I did it. No one can ever understand it until they go through it. And trust this. Mine are not dreams, however seem to be controlled by my faith, just fyi. mine is the devil for sure, not some apparition that disappears, so lucky you. maybe the little boy is afraid and wants you up for company. I've never experienced animals, though I am sure that the very first night it happened, when I was in the sixth grade, alone in my room, up, in the dark, listening to my tape player, I heard the sound of a cat scratching against my hard wood bedroom floor at Bronson, right before the madness of being held down, unable to breathe, scream, speak, etc. began. All I could do was use my mind, that it seemingly could not control, and mentally scream out to God the Father in my head. Over and over I said the Lord's Prayer, and soon, everything died down. When it's at it's worst point, my body vibrates all over, so bad that I can see my cheeks rumbling eratically. These episodes have frequented my life and until recently for me too, they have simi started to resurface. It just happened a few nights ago at Gina's house, and before then, about two and a half months ago at Daisy's house. The shit's creepy. I thank you for sharing. Keep the Faith.