What I Learned IN Church: Religious Tolerance, Immigration and Fighting for What's Right

In the world of text messages, You Tube, voicemails we never leave, IMs, incomplete sentences smileys and 30 second documentaries on the rise and fall of the roman empire, I wonder could the problems of the world be solved by a sound bite? Can everything be summed up with a cute little catch phrase like "flex sex"(google it. But BE careful...)? It's mind boggling! What Would Jesus Do? ..


Exodus Chapter 17 Twice the endurance of faith is tested. Do you see any opportunities for excuses? Excuses to: turn around and go back to Egypt, say forget Moses and bring back that golden calf, give in to Amalek or give in to exhaustion and put his hands down. In those days, battles raged for days and weeks. Keeping his hands up was no easy feat. How many of us quit for less?

Romans Chapter 5 Peace comes from Jesus even though we have been living in the midst of sin since Adam (Chasing ass since day one [Day six to be exact]). So if Adam can get us started on the wrong foot with the sinning, only Jesus (Or James Brown) can get us all on the good foot.

John Chapter 4 Jews vs. Samaritans Jesus reached out beyond human limitations. The message is for ALL people. When we put up barriers, we are not being true Christians. How many Christians do you know who "don't mess with them." or "don't speak to him or her"? So we go from Everybody being wrong in the beginning and fighting wrong vs. wrong, to fighting right vs. wrong, to right vs. right. Over who's right is mightier. It's the Facebook/Twitter generation. It's all about fighting for you're right to be right about every single thing even if it means fighting to the death by cyber bullying... Fucking Jihad!

Today with immigration, the focus is getting rid of "those people". From Spanish Harlem and Little Italy to the Indian (I mean Native American but we all know what WE ALL say behind closed doors) casinos in Northern Mexico (I mean Southern Caleefornia), we will not stand for any further dilution of our Amerikkkan culture. No more mixing, no more CauBlasians, no more Art Deco with Spanish tiles and Ionic pillars, no more Interracial porn (bye bye Kobe Thai), no more Indian for dinner/mojitos at the Brazilian place/dancing at the salsa club/snacks at the waffle house where this nice Jewish girl invites you to the Trip Hop after hours followed by pancakes at the International House of Pancakes.

In church, we choose between the five major religions and hundreds of sects within those. And we sit on our high horses and look down on "those people" who don't know the truth. Tell them all. Hippies, Jesus Freaks, Saints, Hoes, Virgins, Tramps, Buddhists, Atheists, Jews, Moslems, Hoteps, The Taliban, David Blaine, Swingers, Dancers, Disco Queens, Queen, Queen Elizabeth, Marilyn Manson, Charles Manson and the artist formerly known as Prince (Now once again known as Prince-and he is sexy). Do you know anyone, anywhere who TRULY REALLY doesn't want to be happy? If sharing what I know and the things I see brings a smile to a few people, why not spread the word and make at least my world a better place.

Today, etiquette tells us not to discuss politics and religion. So how do we learn? How do we grow? One of my best friends growing up was atheist, his parents were avid Buddhists and I have learned from them some serious moral/life lesson I would not have if I was sectarian. Another best friend was non-denominational Christian. We are all in a position to learn from one another. We live in a world where the major languages all come from four original tongues. Is it really that hard to communicate? I've sold cars to illegal immigrants, retards, sluts, hoes, niggahs on the down low, naked-dickers, a little French guy and something else. My biggest readers are fags, hags, drag queens, more naked-dickers, pimps, hustlers, a born again virgin and Roscoe. Somehow, I touch all these people and they touch me (And I like it-I like it A LOT). We all become parts of each other's worlds and become better for knowing each other. And is that what life is all about?


You kind of come off as a shock jock. Let the truth (troof) be told!! The last shall be first and the first shall be last.

I am a shock jock. I just don't want anyone to feel alienated so I clown everyone.

What I learned in Church: Pimps, Streets and Hiding in the Church

Announcements: Please read the disclaimer above the blog. I'm coming with a new spirit this week. And welcome for all my first time visitors. My apologies for the lateness of my message. Let me get right to it then...


So Saturday night I went to a gospel stage play. "The Lawd Done Sent Me A Man" was wonderful. It went far beyond my expectations. Well acted, well sung, well written and it was just genuinely entertaining. And they are traveling. If you want to see it or want to bring it to your church or theater, let me know and I'll put you in touch with the producers.

Among the many messages in the play, one that stood out was about a devil lurking inside the church. Evil pimps (Not good pimps) are in the church, so the church (the good pimps) needs to hit them streets. It's so important because many churches are hesitant to let their congregations mingle with the world. The World is who we are sent to speak to.

Like most church plays, there was the standard message. God will have his will in the end. After you try everything else. After you've tried all that you can, just stand. Let go and let God.




Now to Sunday. OMG! What a pleasant surprise! We had a guest speaker. His name was Father Maurice Nutt from New Orleans. I wasn't big into church when I lived in New Orleans. He is definitely not the typical Roman Catholic Pastor. He is every Charismatic, Baptist, Methodist, Christian Preacher ever. But he should be, after all, we (Catholics) started it all. If you are ever in New Orleans (Chicago now), I am sure you are sinning and need to go to church anyway, look him up. Edutaining is what he is.

This week we went from:

Genesis Chapter 12 - Abram's received a promise from God. A promise for generations to come.
to
2 Timothy Chapter 1 – Paul encouraging us to suffer WITH the Gospel. God promised. Be patient. If you can't be patient with God just go to hell…

Matthew Chapter 17 - Jesus changed (Transfigured [not to be confused with transgender]) and God told the apostles not to be afraid.

Father Maurice was reminded of movie previews. These texts were "A preview of the coming attractions"
Wets your appetite
Stimulates
Motivates

From Moses to Elijah Dueteronomy 15:18 (The people asked for a gentler message. They were tired of the raining fire.) to Jesus (And they STILL didn't want to listen!) The mountain top symbolized removing ones self from ALL distractions. My father would turn the TV off so we could hear the voice of God whenever we "had to talk". And it worked. (Remember the focus we are trying to achieve this Lenten season.)

So God will make us promises. And we can never tell exactly when those promises are coming. They could come immediately or years down the line. But we must suffer ((verb) 3. endure something) with patience and faith. Change IS coming. We must endure WITH the word of God. And the suffering is not limited to the waiting. The important part is after. In an instant, change can come. But the effects will remain forever. Your friends will run from the new you. We are all afraid of change. ADMIT IT. Think about the people who have and have not left your hometown. A lot of people want to. But who actually does.

Expect the suffering. Expect the trials. Expect the tribulations. When you have been brought to higher levels, expect new devils. And that is where we are going. Don't ask why me. I didn't do anything. YES YOU DID! You met Jesus. You made the change. You prayed. You set the goals.

Don't sit on the mountain top. MOVE! Don't sit on your blessings. He wants to use you. Bless somebody.

I know a lot of people have promise. I know even more with talent. I know even more with dreams. AND I STILL KNOW EVEN MORE WITH HOPES. The common factor in all of our failures is choking. We all choke at some point because we get impatient, or we get too scared of the change or we get tired of hearing people tell us to be scared of change. We can't afford to be scared. We are all so close. Plus, God promised. Focus on that. Keep you eyes on the prize. When we come out of this Lent, we will be strong enough to withstand the haters and the doubters and the scary assed people.

It's the scary assed people who want to stay inside the church and not mingle with the world. Its scary assed people who tell you to stay in your small town or on your own side of town (in the larger cities).And it's scary assed people refuse to grow or learn or do anything different. But we can pimp the system for God. We can hit them streets, those gutters, those sewers, those back alleys and juke joints and spread the truth.

Keep it real people

What I Learned In Church: Temptation, Excuses and Focus

Some announcements: The church is sorry for the delay in delivering the message this week. Perhaps it was meant to serve those who resolve to change Sunday afternoon and only make it to Wednesday before they are sinning again. No names on that one. Plus, it being Valentine's day, the naked-dickers might need a word before they get off into their plans for the evening.

Also, the interaction has dwindled lately in these blogs. I see that you are reading. But my blogs are a contact sport. Feel free to slap me upside the head with whatever you are feeling at the time. Anything. Anytime. Everyone!



Today, we will be reading In Genesis, Romans and Mark:

In Genesis, temptation and sin begin. AS WELL AS EXCUSES! Eve is tricked into eating the forbidden fruit and convinces Adam to do so. Immediately after, the finger pointing and deflecting begin. True to naked-dicker form, The World's First couple refused to accept responsibility for their own actions.

In Romans, if one man (Adam) can begin sin and lead us to death, then one man (Jesus) can bring salvation and lead us to life. So even after all the shit we've gotten ourselves into, Jesus gives us a way out.

In Mark, Jesus was tempted as he fasted. Contrary to popular opinion, it was not easy. Even for God in the flesh, the devil is stronger than mere temptation. He is Peer-Pressure to the max! Take it from a man who has been called the devil for tempting my peers to sin, Jesus had a tough time in the wilderness.

We have always been tempted. We always will be. Never is there room for excuses. We will fall. And we will GET RIGHT BACK UP! We will get stronger. It will never be easier. Ask a weightlifter. He/She will start out lifting One Hundred and some odd pounds. And today they lift Over Three Hundred. They got stronger. It did not get easier. It's still Three Hundred pounds. Get stronger. In prayer. In focus. In drive. In commitment. In dreams. In Goal setting. In life. In Love. In family. In friendship.

Life is tough. It gets hard. It doesn't matter how hard we hit. It's how hard we can get hit. And get back up and keep on keepin on.

That is what Lent is! It is defeating temptation so that we can pray, listen, focus.
Lent is not about giving up candy. We give up what distracts us from our goals. WE LISTEN. WE FOCUS. We may need the whole six weeks of Lent to get to the level focus we seek to achieve.

So, a few days late I know what to give up for Lent. What I'm giving up for EVER is excuses. I'll start with lent and if I fall, I'll just jump right back up and go at it harder.

We are all weak. But we can be strong. That is the glory of GOD. We proclaim God's ability to do anything. If we call ourselves Christian, we must know WE can do anything too! We must believe that. We must LIVE that!


I think I remember hearing the same verses in Church too. But then again, I slip and forget how Catholics use the miselettes (Don't know if I spelled that right, but I tried). The Lenten season should be used as a time of reflection and focus. In giving up something, you should focus on other things. That's what it's about. I hear friends that are Catholic talk about giving up various things for Lent. But, i would challenge them to improve something about themselves during Lent. To me, that's what this time is about. If we're to get closer to God, I believe that we have to be the best people that we can be. So by sacrificing and focusing, we can try to improve upon our flaws and thus become more God-like and become the people He truly wants us to be. You're right, it's NOT an easy thing to do, but it's possible...attaining our full potential that is. So my challenge to everyone during this time would be don't just sacrifice for the sake of appearances and then go around letting everyone know what you gave up (I believe there is a scripture that says we should sacrifice willingly and not for public acknowledgement). Sacrifice privately but let that sacrifice improve your focus and bring you closer to God by you being able to become a better person.

I told you! I am glad you liked. I hope I can continue to speak to people

When I look at you I could never imagine those words coming out of that brain of yours. Normally when I read your blogs I'm in an "whatever" mode, but todays bolg actually hit home. Life is filled with trials and temptations and I am a witness, I am tempted sorely everyday. Somedays I feel like I should stop resisting and just give in, but I know I can't. I know God has a plan for me. "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future". I paraphrased that verse, it's somewhere in the book of Jerome, who when he stopped giving into temptation, later changed his name to Jeremiah. (sorry I couldn't resist LOL). There are many things in my life that I need to give up and give over to God without looking back. Thanks Jason!!!...we fall down but we give up...(I would insert music notes but there are none on the keyboard).

Strawberry Letter (Pimpology 102)

Current mood: awake
Category: Life

FYI I did go to church and have THAT blog written but let me get this off. (Plus I wrote a lot in church yesterday.)

For the people who missed Pimpology 101 and need to complete these pre-requisites in order to graduate in December, let me explain. And for those who squeked by last semester with a Pass, allow me to enlighten on the everyday uses of Pimping.

Most people see a pimp as a man using a woman for money. But there is so much more to see and learn from Pimping. Take a look around at the abundance of people with no self control, who are very impulsive and easily manipulated, then turn around and REALLY look at a pimp. This man/woman (A REAL PIMP) has his self esteem and self control so together that he is able to control ANY situation. People flock to a pimp. They respect his energy. This is a power that can be used for good as well as evil. In focusing on its evil uses, we reject this wisdom and the good it can do.

But back to the letter...

This man is a hoe in all senses of the word. His self esteem was shot from the get go. In his failure to recognize and focus on his good qualities, he fell into the trap of an evil Mexican She Pimp. Hoes give up all their money and get put on allowance. Hoes don't have keys to houses they probably payed for. Hoes get separated from their families. And hoes get drawn into this life through the same lack of self esteem this man is exhibiting.

The Mexican She Pimp locked in on his lack of self esteem (which is very common in men who date outside their race[I said it!]). Steve Harvey guessed she was fat and ugly. I'll go even farther and guess this man is dark skinned. I would bet on it.

Many, many people get into these pimp-hoe relationships and sometimes get stuck in them for life. Like I said before, pimping can be good or evil. If your self esteem is not tight, you better stay on home. You run out into life like a hoe, you will get pimped. I don't know about you, but I would rather be the one doing the pimpin (For Jesus).

This week's homework is listening to Suga Free's "Just Add Water". For those of you who took incompletes last semester pick up "Street Gospel".

Coming tommorow - "What I learned in Church"


pimpin' 4 jesus...?

You know dude, you probably right about that shit. Dude probably a dark skinned and got a light skinned infatuation. And you know ol' girl probably ain't a hot thing either. It is what it is though. Everybody's got their place in the world. I'll just keep trying to be a pimp for the righteous side! Never a hoe though!

Strawberry Letter (Pimpology 101 Returns)

I was going to write about Super Tuesday, but I was listening to The Strawberry Letter on The Steve Harvey Morning Show and I HAD to say somethin!

Before I let yall read this letter, let me say this about Hillary Clinton:

SHE IS NOT BILL CLINTON!

1. She is not the type of politician Bill was. She will fuck us all. Check the records.
2. She doesn't like people or care to be liked. She is not racist. She just doesn't care for any group of people. Even women!
3. Perhaps the biggest difference. She don't get no ass like Bill does! (See I said "does". He still gettin it!)


Back to this letter. Read it, comments please, and I'll do another blog to detail my response.
Date: 02/06/2008
Subject: Am I a Good Man?

Good Morning - Steve, Shirley & Tommy. I want to first start off by saying that you guys are an inspiration and keep up the good work. I am currently in a relationship with a woman who has somehow stripped me of my dignity as a black man. She's a mexican-american woman. I am contemplating on leaving this woman and have been for sometime. I just don't know how. I cannot gather up enough courage to do so...A little background in our relatiionship. During the early stages in our relationship - she has talked so negative about the black race stating that black people are ignorant, lazy and ugly...That I was lucky that she even gave me a chance. Because of these sterotype she has about black people I stayed in the relationship to change that myth, however in the process I've been stripped of my dignity and self-respect. She has slapped and punched me; she has called me a stupid N with the "ER" at the end; she has caused me to drop out of graduate school; she had taking control of my entire pay check only providing me with a enough money to travel to and from work; she has taken limited communication with any of my friends and family; she demand back massages every night; I moved in with her, but I don't have a key to her apt., she states that I need to earn it by "behaving"; she altered my visting schedule w/my daughter from every weekend to every other weekend; she states that the only thing my daughter should get from me is child support and nothing above and beyond that; She gives me a daily allowance of $5 from a monthly check of over $4,000 net; She gets upset over the simpliest thing and we stay up arguing until its time to go to work the next morning; she will not allow me to go to bed, if she feeling upset or angry about anything; she refuses to discuss my issues; I told her that I wanted to strengthen my relationship w/daughter and she's against it because it may take time and resource away from us; she sometime makes me leave and sleep outside in the cold as a punishment for making her upset. The last time i made her upset was when I told her I was to work on the relationship with my daughter, especially since she starts highschool next year; she takes and hide my driver's license, passport & car keys and since, I don't have the keys to her house, I cannot simply go there when she's at work. There's not a day that I wish I was dead. Steve, Shirley & Tommy: I know this relationship is not healthy, but the problem is I am afraid of her; She always make me feel like I am the problem and I think its working - whenever, I gather up enough strength to leave, I fill guilty. I need some solid advice, please give me advice how to get myself out of them. Signed: Am I a Good Man?


Well what is there to say?? No he's not a good man....he's not even A man! I mean what kind of a real man with any pride and knowledge of self would let another woman treat him in such a way to prove a point?? What kind of a man allows another person to disrespect, degrade and destroy the very essence of who and what they are so that they can call themselves a good man? What kind of a man allows himself to be seperated from his own blood and allows someone else to control his destiny (finances, education, his comings and goings)??????
And I'm not gonna clown the brotha for saying that he's scared of this chick but I'm gon do it like Steve.....nowhere in this letter did he say that this woman is violent(ok she slapped and punched him) but as a grown @zz man if a slap or a punch from a woman incites that much fear......than droppin out of grad school was the best thing for him to do. That boy needs some karate lessons. or that she's threatened his child? So what are you scared of? He's not scared....HE'S WEAK!
When that chick started talkin reckless about your race and your culture that should've been his sign to break out the machete and cut that broad off! He's so weak....even in the very act of this letter while he calls himself reaching out for help its just weak. He dropped out of school because of himself not because of her, he cut his visits w/ his daughter because of him!
I can't take him!

I would love to hear what Steve had to say!

Man, I was gonna drop something about super tuesday too, but I'm slacking today. In any case, you're definitely right. Hiliary is NOT Bill!!! She's got a lot of drawbacks for me, primarily being that I think she'll just bring more party politics to Washington with her. She comes off as being very devisive person. What people want is CHANGE. How can there be change, if we keep electing politicians who conduct business in the same manner as the people who got us into the mess that we're in now? I think that's what has people rallying behind Obama. One of the commentators made a very insightful point last night on CNN. He said that Hiliary is running a strong campaign, but that it's difficult to combat a movement. Those words are strong (think about the civil rights movement...the Jim Crow south tried to stop it and eventually failed). Movements are stronger than anyone person. Movements unite people across all lines...race, gender, status...and bring them together to effect change. I think if people really take a hard look, being President shouldn't be all about experience (which is something that I give Hilary credit for), but it should also be about uniting people. And that's something that I think Obama is definitely more qualified to do.
In any case, what's up with this cat who wrote this letter??!!! I mean after reading that shit I was like WTF? I mean, he must have no self-esteem whatsoever to stay in a relationship like that one. Scratch that, to even get involved with someone with an opinion like the one she had is completely crazy. How are you going to justify a relationship by saying that you hope to change the opinion of a person about an entire race of people? It's insane. I've got two words for that guy, MAN UP! If he doesn't have any kids by this woman, he needs to be a MAN and kick her to the curb! He makes upwards of $4,000 a check, he can obviously support himself! It sounds more like she's living off of him that anything else. She talks about black people being lazy, but she's living off a brother, isn't that a little bit hypocritical? It's amazing to think that a person can have this type of effect on another. She's degrading him to the point where he feels ashamed to do what he knows he should. He definitely needs help, but I think first he needs to help himself and get out of that relationship....and I'm out!

I'm voting republican so I can care less about Hillary... as for the good man strawberry letter; I don't think its a good, bad, black, white or brown issues. We tell others "false whys" to support how long we chose to tolerate a problematic relationship in hopes that we'll someday believe it to be "true", but ultimately, it's simply that "a choice". That man made a choice to be with that woman and likewise can choose to leave her... but what's pimpish about?

How very Republican an answer to both items. The pimpin is on her end and he has all the symptoms of a typical hoe. But wait for my full response...


And thanks for sharing!

What the HELL?!

What I learned in Church

This Blog is sponsored by Kinoki Foot Pads (Not Really...)

Last Sunday my church was all over the place. It was Children's Sunday. Here are a few thoughts:

Remember when...
I remember vividly memorizing little scriptures to recite for Easter or Christmas or Hanukah or Ramadan (I celebrate GOD wherever he his). I had no idea what these things meant. The joy was just being up there having adults hang on these words you were reciting. Today, over twenty years later, I am the adult looking in awe, remembering the preparation involved, recognizing the difference in meaning to me now compared to then. Now, I'm not one to dwell on the past. But I never forget. If you forget where you came from, how can you gauge your progress?

One verse Sunday was in I Corinthians Chapter 1 (always read the whole chapter). The message was to stay focused. Stay pure because politicians will always corrupt the truth, whether they intend to or not. I could write a book about separation of Church and State. It's something both sides preach but neither is successful at. I wonder why…

Then we went over Matthew chapter 4
Jesus was walking by the see and called four fisherman to leave their jobs and family to follow him. Our prayer for the day was - "Lord you have called us to follow"

As lent approaches, we should consider what we would give up for Jesus. We could start the thought process by remembering the many, many things we have given up for relationships, work, money, fame. I'm sure we could come up with something for Jesus.

What am I going to give up for lent?

Any ideas.

Great blog considering the time of the year. You know being in N.O. probably makes this have more meaning, since this is probably the only place in this country where Catholicism dominates like it does (afterall, the city shuts down for three days in anticipation of Lent).
In any case, I think the two passages that you touched on send the correct message for this time of year. Lent should be a time to focus. You give up something, but in giving up something, there should be some thought as to why. To me, the reason for giving up something and making a sacrifice is just as important as the act. If you do the act, but your intentions/reason aren't just, then it's useless if you ask me. Secondly, I definitely think it's a time to reflect on the type of life that we're called to follow. Not everyone's calling is the same. But, in life, I truly believe that we are all called to accomplish some type of work. And no matter how minute it may seem, we're fulfilling part of God's plan.
All in all, I see Lent as a time of personal improvement. You sacrifice something in an effort to gain some type of focus (at least I know I will) and we should all reflect on the lives that we are called to follow.