Republitards

I have just encountered a new type of retard. That is the political retard. Specifically, the Republitard.

The Republitard is just one of many types of people who don’t/can’t think for themselves and perpetuate ideas and philosophies about which they know nothing. The republitard constitutes the majority of the voting population of the Republican Party.

In the Ronald Reagan article I posted on Facebook, Ronald Reagan had a reputation for lowering taxes. In fact, He trimmed tax breaks and increased Social Security tax. In the end, he kept tax revenue at the same point it’s always been. What he essentially did was cut taxes for the rich and increase taxes for the rest of America. And he spent more! Without a major war!

Republitards are no different than “Christians” who don’t read the bible. They are no different than bandwagon sports fans. No different than militants who get their first taste of revolution. They are so gung-ho about everything and have no idea what they are talking about. None.

People like noise. It stops them from thinking. Unfortunately, what happens is people start thinking for them. It’s easy for charismatic people to be so passionate about tax breaks for the upper class. Their charisma has carried their incomes to that same upper class. They are directly affected by the causes they fight so passionately for. And they fight so passionately that the ignorant Republitards also believe they are directly affected.

So let me be clear. Republitards think they are rich. They think they are white. They think they are as charismatic as their leaders. For one, all Republican Hispanics are Republitards. They got the people elected in Arizona who are now trying to get rid of them. All Republicans who make less than 250,000 dollars a year are Republitards. They are running around crying about tax breaks when only people who make 250,001 dollars or more will be affected. Now THAT’s retarded.

How do you not know how much money you have? Only 5% (I’m being nearly doubly generous) of Americans make that much or more. As of September 1, 2010, 33.8% of American voters are registered Republicans. Assuming everyone in that 5% is Republican (Yeah Right! Like God blesses that many fools), 85% of Republicans are Republitards and/or flat out stupid. Since 35% of the voting population is Democrat we can assume safely that half of that 5% is Republican which means 93% (I rounded up. We are talking about retards. Some of them probably paid too much taxes trying to floss) of Republicans are Republitards. That’s almost all of them.

Essentially what I’m saying is, it’s retard to be Republican.

Come back next week when I show you how it’s retarded to be a Democrat.

Gaydar

[When I say gay, I don't mean it in a good way. I mean it in the most Eminem, South Park, Boondocks way I can!]

Jacquelyn NeCole asked the question - *Question to the fellas* Does a straight man hang with gay/bi-sexual guys? If they do does that make them suspect... hmmm?

I knew immediately what she wanted. She wanted another way to detect homosexuality in a man. This Down Low shit has a ton of women AND men nervous. The Gaydar is up all over the world.

The Down Low is the epitome of sexual dishonesty AKA Lying-On-Your-Dick/Pussy. With the prevalence of STDs, the most dangerous of them being “Butt-Juice-Pussy”, people need full disclosure when it comes to sex and being safe. There is no room for confusion or flat out lying. Sex without trust is so horrible; I would just rather not have sex. And I like sex. I like it A LOT. A LOT.

A WHOLE LOT!!!

But,

I am deathly afraid of Butt-Juice-Pussies! But-Juice-Pussy (BJP) is a condition that occurs when a woman dates a Down Low man inside a committed relationship or inside any relationship where Naked-Dicking occurs. Naked Dicking is already dangerous. But add secret sex to the mix and we are talking about juggling grenades with no pins in them.

With all of this in mind, it is VITAL that women and men, straight or gay, be able to spot liars in their midst. I wish I knew EVERY sure sign that a man is on the Down Low. I would tell. I would spend my last dollar publishing and distributing the book along with a list of notable Down Low men, for free! Honest people deserve to know when they are being tricked.

According to Sanyika – “You live in Atlanta, everybody is gay!” But this is not about judging people. I don’t judge. I really could care less about what anyone does in his or her bedroom. This is about keeping honest men and women safe from the dishonest.


So here’s what I know. Maybe it will help women and men remain safe in their relationships and avoid any BJP. (Of course, that’s assuming they don’t want any BJP!)

The gay friends I have are all out of the closet. I don’t like to talk about sex with anyone. I was raised to believe that those who talk about it aren’t doing it. So, like ALL of my friends, I’m a friend with gay people not because of whom they sleep with. Personally, some of the dating choices my straight friends make are pretty disgusting. SICK! (That’s a whole other blog.)


If any one of my “straight” friends turned out to be gay, I would have an issue. The issue wouldn’t be their sexuality but the dishonesty. I have stopped being cool and/or trusting a lot of friends for lying on their dicks. If we are friends, the foundation of that is trust. If I can’t trust you, we can’t be friends.


I do suspect a few acquaintances. The fact is the down low is real. Statistically speaking, with all the people I know, a few of those people are in the closet. The truth is, most of the people I suspect would surprise the HELL out of most females.


It is YOU! That’s right. You are reading this and wondering if I know. I DO! See! You just proved it. SMH. So sad. Just give it up. Come out the closet now and no one will get hurt. The longer you drag this out, the worse it will be when I finally REALLY put you on blast.


I have proof. It’s just not time yet to put people on blast.



You probably have BJP. I just chose not to tell you because you got on my nerves today. Good luck with that shit. (And there actually is fecal matter in your P. SMH)


I’ve been to a gay club. In fact, you DO have BJP! Your dude was there. WITH A MAN!


I don’t fuck for an audience. I don’t lie on my dick. I don’t talk about my dick. I don’t take pictures of my dick. I believe anyone who does is not just suspect. Niggah you gay!


Secret anything between couples is suspect. Friends you’ve never met, a secret family, a secret job, secret habits, secret anything is SO VERY suspect.


Machismo is suspect, especially around other men. The louder you are about homophobia, your dick, or sex in general; the more suspect you are. Why do I give a shit about any of that? I’m not going gay bashing with you. That shit is a terrorist act. I have absolutely no interest in the horrible looking women you choose to sleep with. I don’t want to watch porn with you because there are no women around. NO WOMEN = Niggah…You…Gay!


To answer Jacquelyn’s question directly, being suspect is not about being cool with gay/bisexual people. It’s suspect if dudes are too cool with other dudes. I know men who have fraternal ties with other men. They are supposed to be really close. They aren’t overly close though. Suspect dudes have “best friends” who are as close as girls are. Men don’t change clothes around each other. The one exception is a sports locker room. (Not the LA Fitness locker room! SMH) Real sports. Professional sports. Men don’t hold hands or get drunk and sleep in the same bed. (Head to feet past 16 is not cool)




Please also understand that nothing is exact. Especially this. There are variables. For instance, in the South, men are more effeminate. That means women have to look past the superficial and find patterns. My views may also be slanted. I have a father and we get along quite well. So I don’t have a lack of male bonding to fill. So I am more hesitant to be up in any other man’s face no matter how well we get a long. But I also have sister who I am close to. So I’ve seen Grease a million and five times, and the Bodyguard, and Beaches, and Tommy. AND I actually like romantic comedies. Now if a man said that who didn’t have sisters or REALLY close female relatives, …SUSPECT.
The bottom line is - be careful. But don’t let stereotypes lead you. PLEASE don’t let your friends’ experiences affect your judgment. Let everything be what it is and see everything AS IT IS. You be upfront with your mate at all times. It’ll be hard for anyone to trick you if you are REALLY keeping in 100 (RAY J!)

Also, not reading the whole blog (I know it's long Sanyika!) is gay!

The Mama's Boy

Whenever you think to let some shit slide, just think, your child could grow up to be a weirdo. A pedophile, a necrophilia, even an octophile(I think that's a person who likes to get with old, old ladies). Which reminds me of the winding down period of my time in Vegas.

I was out one night and my boy [da homie] had some girls come out from Bakersfield. So being the entertainer that I am, I made up my mind to show these ladies a good time. Which included selling some drinks (as well as selling the idea of drinking). No idea what kind of person goes to Vegas to not drink. Anyhow. A few drinks, the least amount of ice breaking ever and a few hours later, I was hugged up with this Hispanic girl from Bakersfield. I had to go to work at 5am and it was 3:30am so we exchanged numbers a little bit of saliva and promised to talk soon.

After a brief phone romance, it was time to leave Vegas so I decided to stop by Bakersfield to finish my make out session. OK. Let me catch you up. She was divorced with an eleven year old son. (I know. No children. But divorcees get a pass…sometimes) 31 pretty nice on the eyes. And she had Mexican cakes (That means a nice ass for Mexican) [She was really Mexican I'm not being racist] [I think]. She mentioned letting her son sleep with her and I thought nothing of it. Then I found out he was eleven and I gave it a second thought. Hmmmm

Then I went down there! There was an inch of dust in this boys room. HE NEVER SLEPT THERE! There where so many WTFs running through my mind! Luckily for me (Or unluckily … Read on) he had a thirteen year old uncle who slept over in the living room. Then there was the sex.
She wore dentures. That actually excited me. She wore something sexy. I was ready! Then she killed it. All she wanted to do was lay on her back. I kept rolling her over. She kept rolling right back. She wanted to be quick so her son wouldn't catch her. Talk about wack! I like to get down. All I know about is sexual freedom.

And that was it for the whole week. That first night, then her son hating and showing off because I was sleeping on the couch and he was with her the rest of the week. ONE WHOLE WEEK! No loving. No kissing. Nothing! Just stuck in Bakersfield for one week. In a trailer park. On a leather couch! I'm sure I left some skin on that couch.

That was two years ago. From our conversations, this woman is still letting her son sleep with her. He should be thirteen now. The movie Psycho comes to mind.

She obviously had abandonment issues. And now she is passing it on to her children. That's just one extreme. On the milder level we have parents working hard to give their children everything they feel they missed out on. And all the time they are not realizing that their parents protected them from those things for a reason. All I can say is look at these kids today. They’re weak. Emotional wrecks. Virtually all of them strippers or porn stars in training and it's our entire fault. Each every time you say just this once or just this one thing (Think about how many times you've already said it.) you are affecting your child exponentially. And think about how young our children still are.

Parents love your children. Be emotional but be wise. We have to be the ones in control of our emotions and in turn raise them to make wise decisions. We got to keep it tight because its getting rough out here. Lets put our baggage to the side and lead our families down the right path. Ideally we should be able to handle our baggage before we become parents.

And for those of us who still have baggage and already have children…good luck.
Love you babies!

LOL, i remember this story big homie...you're right on point though. Parents need to stop trying to keep these kids on the tit for 30 years and let them learn some responsibility! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying just throw your kids to the wolves, but at 13 your kid should be able to sleep in a bed by himself. Hell, he should be trying to get a girl to sleep in there with him! Oh well, guess you never know what goes through some folks heads! And i'm OWT!

That's what you get for kicking it with strange women.

In some weird way, I think you'll make a great father.

LMAO!!! Ok I'm enjoy ur humor on this one...but on the real she is hindering this kid...she prob will never have a man in here life b'cuz she already has a man..her son....

I'm really more worried about the son. Naked-dickers get what they get. He is going to be BEYOND gay. He is going to fuck chickens or gorillas or something sexy like that.