What I learned in Miami: A Few Things About Me

Current mood: optimistic
Category: Life

Just a few things about me

On my trip to Miami this weekend I learned a few things about my self. It makes sense to me to share sense some of my readers are here on the pretense of getting to know me. (It may help some of my friends as well.) So here it is:

I'll never tell
I know I promised to share some of the things that have been going on with me lately regardless of who is involved and what comes of it. The real problem with that is I have never been one to talk about other people. I can speak in general terms but I cannot mention specific names and situations. My friends will remember that in all my stories I only refer to people as "the homie", or "this girl" or some "relative." No names, no dates, nothing that will connect any person to their specific story. The reasons are twofold. One is, I don't anyone ever speaking about me by name. I know that people do, but I would prefer if they didn't. The legend of "LA" is too big for me to ever dream of living up to it or living it down. The other reason is, I imagine my friends meeting each other one day. I don't want to be the one to influence first impressions. Even if the impression is good, it's better that people make their own impressions on each other. I don't want them to have to live up to or live down anything that someone else said about them. All this means for you, my readers, is I will have to figure some other way to share my life with you all. Plus, I still want you to buy my books. My published life story will include all the names, dates and vivid details. This is just a teaser

I Don't Chase, I Facilitate
So many people have hooked up because of me, the legend of "LA" has led people to believe that I have game. The same can be said about people who see the way I handle myself around women. Nothing could be further from the truth. Being in the south where women are not as aggressive as I am used to, I have come to realize it's not my style to chase, court or even approach women. I may get wild, belligerent, and even mannish at times but, the truth is, of the all the women and girls I've dated, I have only successfully approached one girl. And I was thirteen when that happened. All the rest approached me first. Anyone who knew me when I was in Junior High knows I wasn't prepared for the change once I actually started dressing and grooming a little bit better. Since then, I'm such a literal believer in the idea that women choose, I never subscribed to the chasing women thing. Plus, I associate that behavior with "naked-dickers" (word to be defined later) and I try to distance myself from them as much as possible. Don't believe in the legend, I don't have women chasing me down the street. In fact, I stay dateless for long periods. I still get it poppin on a regular basis. And I have so many friends most of whom are platonic females, I couldn't ask for much more. I leave the serial dating to the naked-dickers.
Me.
 I'm in search of a once in a lifetime opportunity. That means that if I approach you and I'm not trying to hook you up with one of my boys, I see potential. And if you approach me and end up staying in touch longer than two weeks (My attention span), I see potential. When people ask me what type of woman I like my response is always one thing, assertive. If you want to be temporary, you can stay passive and with any luck you can catch me when I'm belligerent and mannish, and you will stay temporary. For anything else, step up.

You Are Not Invited
As I mentioned before, "LA" is always into something. Whoever wants to roll can do just that. My one rule is - If you know, you can go. I'm not so formal with invitations. In fact, I flat out will never invite you anywhere. There always being an exception to every rule, know that when I go through the formalities of inviting you, I truly would not be able to enjoy myself without your company. My feelings will be hurt if you don't show and I will cry. I mention this about me because of the legend. The legend has many believing that I roll with this imaginary elite entourage and everyone else is not worthy. Not true. Ask my bartenders, I'm mostly alone when I roll out. I'm out of the promotion business. If I tell you I'm going you better get ready. Or better yet, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. I will roll to church, the bar, the movies, Apache, whatever and I refuse to ruin my experience or spend my energy convincing someone to go where they don't want to go.
This goes for dating as well (see above). I may ask a woman out once and leave an open invitation if we can't make a date then. After that, I'm rolling. I ain't go miss "Talk To Me" (A GREAT movie!!! Go see it and don't tell my friends I went without them.) waiting on someone to make up their mind or put their shoes or make up on. I repeat - If you stay ready...









I thought this was going to be a huge revelation but I knew that about you when you lived in New Orleans.

Yeah. This is for the new people.

Hey bro,
We do have a lot in common....hahaha. Is it cause we are both from the SHAW? Very deep revelations. I concur with you 100 percent, we don't have to beg anyone to go out with us, if they want they will come, if they don't then we go out by ourselves and meet the ones that like to roll like us.....I think that is better that way sometimes.
FYI, I married my high school sweetheart.....till this day, when I go clubbing, I go out by myself with the homies because she doesn't like to......Like I said above, if they don't want to go out, we go out ourselves.....
Peace

Single Women

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Romance and Relationships



This is from last year. (I'm still on vactation) I only got two comments so I want to find out what the rest of yall think. I'm still standing on my position(See below) and this topic will never die.

Women need to be more assertive. Tell him you like him. Tell him you want to sleep with him. I am used to women being more assertive since age 13. I asked a girl out (aka I got her number and began to talk shit with her) and she flat out asked me what I wanted. Did I want to be her girlfriend? Did I want to just talk? Or did I want to fuck? AT 13!!! I was shocked then. But as I grew older I began to get accustomed to being that straight forward…

… Then I came to Atlanta. ALL the women do here is talk shit. They ALL do. ALL the time. BUT they do not keep it real. They are most definitely not straight forward. They can not ask a guy out. They can not say what they want from a guy. Or ask a guy what he wants. Am I 12 all over again? WTF?

I have to say relax to all women. So what! You are getting older. So what, we live longer now a days. There are no good men. So what, focus on yourself. So what, be more selective and understand what being selective entails. It means you will be alone for a long while in search of perfection. That is why you need to be comfortable with yourself.

Babies... I love you all. If I could marry you all and make you all feel better about yourselves, I would. But I am in the relentless pursuit of perfection. I need to perfect myself so that when I find my perfect wife, I will be ready to love her. Along the way I truly enjoy offering my love and advice to any one who will listen. If we can both help each other become the perfect partner to our future mates then so much the better for us all. Who knows! We may be perfecting each other so that you and I can be together. And wouldn't that be perfect?

(And Rayya, I can handle it. And for you, that's all that matters.)






very nice.... :) relentless pursuit of perfection, huh?

LA, u know ur girl luvs it when u speak da truth.....however, you know ur girl & u know im bout as blunt as they cum, reagardless of who & what the circumstances.....not every guy wants what ur talking about.....not every guy can handle that typ eof straight forward, dont beat around da bush, tell me the truth regardless of if it hurts or not type woman....but hey that's just from me & my experiences.....on da perfecting your self, im with you 175%....if u r not happy with your self, if you havent cum to grips with who you r or what u want in life, whoever ur with will NOT fill that void, but that goes for both women & men......but u know i'l always take advice coming from u ;) smooches

This discussion can go on FOREVER with no resolution because there is none. There is no need for women to be a certain way in this life! People just need to be themselves. If you're assertive and it works keep it up! The right guy who can't get enough will come along and appreciate you for who you are. If that's not you're style no worries...the perfect compliment is still out there.

You can't resolve this discussion also because some men say they want a woman who speaks up only to follow with "black women are so aggressive or too strong!" What's up with that??
To the men I say it's time to grow some balls! Be a man and ask the girl what's up! You're not 12 anymore so you should definitely be able to speak up for yourself.

There is no winning unless you are happy and content with the individual who you are.

i no i comments on this like a year ago, but yd u have 2 call me out like that ;) LOL....neway, hope u find that 1 that makes u smile even when u dont wanna smile ;)

This is a very interesting discussion, that will go on forever.......

I agree with JR. Very interested conversation, you do have a point. I have noticed in past experiences that a majority of females want a guy to be straight out to the point. It works being blunt if all that you want is sex without strings attached. Females that are looking for something serious will tell you straight out. In my experiences, females would tell you "go to hell", or "Be in my apt in 30 minutes"....hahaha. Well bro, Are you serious about looking for the serious thing? if you are, more power to you. If you are not, then keep on trying to perfect yourself for your perfect match.....There is nothing wrong in looking for the perfect one, but one thing that I will tell you is that if you look for too long, you might end up letting the right one slide pass you without you noticing her.

Later bro,

Good topic that will be discussed over and over. I beg to differ on one thing. The women here seem more aggressive or assertive. i'm a single woman and i have a few single women friends who have no problem saying what they want and how they want it! lol
as a matter of fact, i'm more shy when it comes to that because i don't like rejection. but don't get me wrong. if i really like somebody, i would approach that person one time, not over and over again.
and some guys like to play games, too many. but that is another topic, ain't it?

No! It's the same topic. When we talk about how people approach each other we are talking about game. And men AND women today are here to play. If you can't be be 100% straight up and down, you are playing to me. Call it revealing a little bit at a time or whatever. If you aren't comfortable enough with yourself to be yourself 100% from day one, then you shouldn't be out there.

My opinion on this subject is that men do not like the truth when it is told and they are more complicated than women. Women are more vocal than men. Men dont really communicate. So it is very difficult to know what men really want.

Me personally I keep it real with myself and others around me. I love me first then everyone else get the left over of my love. We as human beings make relationships real complicated. I will never truly understand the craziness of relationship. But truly if there is someone good let it manifest and dont force it because you will be left with nada.

I hear that AND I feel that. The flip side is women don't like the truth either. The reality is we are all looking for a dream and instead of keeping it real, we sell each other dreams to get what we want. Just think of how scary it is to share with a person you just met some of your deepest and darkest secrets and fears. That is exactly what we do (ideally) in relationships. As individuals we can't be fearful of baring our souls to strangers.

Well as a woman I can accept the truth. Then again what is truth? Truth is one's prospection.
I know for me I have opened myself to my significant other or once significant other and he bailed out on me like hot grease. Therefore, I will never truly understand what men really what. I should know since I have six brothers. If I have to be single because I am honest and true to my feelings. Then their you have it.

I know I am intelligent and beautiful. So I am not phase by pretentious expectation we have on each other. Relationships as I view it is HUMANLY COMPLICATED and if two isnt willing to put the effort into the relationship then what do you have?

So this conversation can go everywhere, but we will be a stand still. There isn't any real answer to the view.

The complication comes because we are impatient. With all these billions of people, how can we expect to be lucky enough to find THAT ONE? Don't give up if THAT ONE is what you seek? And don't believe what any one or two men does (out of Millions) is reflective of all men or try not to care even if it is. Remember you are looking for one. Or two. Who knows how you swing?

Jason you are not funny...I am a one man woman. So dont even play me. Anyhoot I havent given up...I just wont put my heart out to be stomped on. Life is truly a lesson.

The Game

Current mood: curious
Category: Writing and Poetry


When will we stop playing games and make it plain
When will I be able to talk to you and tell the truth
I know we're both scared to be the fool but one day soon
I know I cannot hold this secret but for a minute
Who cares what we say except for us anyway
Who cares about me and you except - well - I do
I don't know if you give a shit but I wish you did
I don't know if you even care but I know I care
Why do you hardly call ever at all
Why do you stay away every day
Don't you know time is short before we leave our ports
Don't you know every minute counts before we get up and out
All I can do is make it plain this ain't no game
All I can do is tell the truth, I truly do - care for you - wish to - be with you