26 Natural Man
We are born to sin. It’s in our nature… Tell that shit to
God.
(St. Peter with a trap door)
– “We want you to talk to another one of our angels. Stand over that square
over there please. Yes. Right there…”
Something was a little off with dude. When I met him, he
was cool. We spoke a little. He was into the Bible. He told me about the prayer
circle. There was something else underneath, though. He was a little negative
ALL the time. He was always crying about something. It took nearly a month for
it to all come out but when it did, I finally got it.
I keep my mouth shut to avoid arguments but I always side
with the guards, no matter what. (In jail/prison, all inmates are supposed to
be against the guards, no matter what.) This time in jail is our opportunity to
develop habits which will make us better citizens when it’s time to go home.
The guards take it upon themselves to instill discipline in addition to the
routine. Each of us has a different idea about discipline. Why should I take
their attempt at positivity personal? What better models for NOT going to jail
do we have anyway?
Dude took it personal.
I waited until the next time he did it to engage him. “He treat us like kids” We are kids. We are children of God in the developmental stage. And more to the point, our immaturity led us here. “I’m a grown ass man.” [If you must remind people… Obviously… No… No. SMH] This is his attempt at giving us the discipline we need. Everyone in here, innocent or guilty, is in here because of lack of discipline. “We all sinners. He sin too.” But he’s disciplined enough to stay out of here and seek salvation elsewhere. We are all sinners but we don’t have to stay that way. “It’s in our nature to sin. We can’t shange.”
I waited until the next time he did it to engage him. “He treat us like kids” We are kids. We are children of God in the developmental stage. And more to the point, our immaturity led us here. “I’m a grown ass man.” [If you must remind people… Obviously… No… No. SMH] This is his attempt at giving us the discipline we need. Everyone in here, innocent or guilty, is in here because of lack of discipline. “We all sinners. He sin too.” But he’s disciplined enough to stay out of here and seek salvation elsewhere. We are all sinners but we don’t have to stay that way. “It’s in our nature to sin. We can’t shange.”
Ah ha!
So there it was. A natural man. A man driven purely by
ego. That explains all the crying. The complaining. The self-absorbedness
without self awareness. The self serving without self control. The over
inflated sense of self with complete lack of self esteem.
That is the Natural Man. The Natural Man is completely
ego driven, utterly impulsive, very animalistic, often misled, totally insecure
and vulnerable; and completely unaware of any of this. Eckhart Tolle in The New
Earth and my friend Kobe actually sum it up succinctly.”The ego is a liar”
Kobe actually called it the subconscious. The ego runs
the subconscious. The ego does all the lying. As well, the ego does all the
covering up for the lies and the ensuing shortcomings
Contrary to popular opinion 
a large ego is
not connected to a healthy or high self esteem. In fact, a large ego will kill
self esteem and tell you everything is better than fine, it’s great! The ego’s
main concern is comfort. View the natural reaction to change. The ego tells you
to reject change. As far as growth, the ego will make some concessions to
stimulate growth. SOME. In fact, the natural man never fully matures. He simply
readjusts his comfort zones.
a large ego is
not connected to a healthy or high self esteem. In fact, a large ego will kill
self esteem and tell you everything is better than fine, it’s great! The ego’s
main concern is comfort. View the natural reaction to change. The ego tells you
to reject change. As far as growth, the ego will make some concessions to
stimulate growth. SOME. In fact, the natural man never fully matures. He simply
readjusts his comfort zones.
The natural man is, in short, a big baby. 
He may pay bills.
Maybe he goes to work. The natural man can seem normal. It is only when you get
to motivations that the ego’s role become more apparent. In jail/prison, among
a larger selection of unsophisticated individuals, the motivations are laid
bare. Now it is easier to read and relate the behavior of the natural man. In
sophisticated society, men and women can hide behind facades. There is not of
that in jail/prison. Just ego, out in the open.
He may pay bills.
Maybe he goes to work. The natural man can seem normal. It is only when you get
to motivations that the ego’s role become more apparent. In jail/prison, among
a larger selection of unsophisticated individuals, the motivations are laid
bare. Now it is easier to read and relate the behavior of the natural man. In
sophisticated society, men and women can hide behind facades. There is not of
that in jail/prison. Just ego, out in the open.
Let me assuage the emotional, twitter readers. When I say
inmates are very animalistic, that is to say their behavior is not very far
evolved from animals. I am not referring to violence but more so to violent
mood swings.
Inmates prove the perfect specimen like a one celled
amoeba or mendels flowers for genetic study. There are so few variables to
consider. Assuming Darwin was right, welcome to the monkey house! There is some
home training, but the priorities are low. Eat, sleep, shit, smoke and jack.
Bathing is optional. Again it’s a comfort concession of the ego. Natural men
who can’t smell themselves may be guilted into bathing but smoking, horseplay
and talking shit take priority.
Conversations are very telling. Lack of sophistication
makes ego very apparent. No one asks for anything right out. The ego can’t
stand rejection so every request is prefaced with another question. “Are you
going to eat that?” Only when the reqest is certain to be granted will it be
made outright. Even then, it may not be in the form of a question. “Let me get
that”
In here, we witness the irresponsible and irresponsive.
Most inmates are innocent. The admittedly guilty (drug dealers/addicts) still
place blame on others. “My dumb ass girl let the cops search the house.”
“[insert any county/police organization] is fucked up. They be all smelling
drugs and searching (finding two ounces sitting in the passenger seat like a
person with the seatbelt on.) everything.” There is no forethought. Plans are
always forgotten in favor of immediate gratification or dwelling on how fucked
up the police are for fighting crime and criminal behavior. Reactions are
immediate, universal and, of course, ego driven.
Everything is personal. Since the ego is fragile, Natural
Men are equally fragile. Every slight discomfort is an overt effort by “the
cops”/deputies to hate. Some of my religious brothers call if The Devil. When
the deputy takes away your contraband he’s hating, even though he previously
explained he’s trying to teach you to follow the rules, even though he could
have punished you severely. “That’s just the devil trying you.” Natural men
don’t suffer as groups either. Dorm meetings are full of grumbles – “Why you
telling me? Tell that/those niggahs.”
Let me come back to the natural man statement – “It’s in
our nature to sin. We can’t change that.” The Natural Man has the end all be
all excuse. It would seem.
So let’s look at the nature of sin
In the beginning, there was no sin. There was only one
rule in Eden. Don’t eat of the Tree of Good and Evil. Just like diplomatic
immunity, being a citizen of one country you can’t be expected to be aware of
the obscure law of another country. That, of course, is not a defense of crime
anymore due to abuse of that loophole and treaties that followed. It just goes
to show – you will be responsible for what you know and only for what you know.
If you know nothing, you can be responsible for nothing.
The knowledge of good and evil brought more than just
that knowledge. It brought the responsibility for that knowledge. Knowledge of
good and evil and the ensuing responsibility are both a gift and a curse. The
curse was obvious. Sin, and it’s consequence, was introduced to the world. Adam
and Eve were kicked out of Eden and sorrow and pain were introduced to man’s
existence.
For most people the story ends there, with the curse. And
Natural men are the extreme of this paradigm. But read it again. Knowledge of
GOOD and evil. There’s a blessing in everything. If you can see that in jail,
you can see it anywhere. I went inside those walls prepared to accept a
punishment and walked out with a reward. The gift was knowledge, wisdom and
understanding all of which we can use to choose between good and evil or right
and wrong. We were already created with free will. Now we have the responsibility
of making a choice. Knowledge of good and evil meant a choice between good and
evil.
Assuming we evolved from animals, the analogy still holds
true. Not only did we develop arms legs and lungs but also intellect. We
acquired knowledge. We began to think. We even think about thinking. As such,
we still developed the knowledge of good and evil without the creation story.
Therefore, evolution still develops for us a choice.
That choice leads us to become the only animals blessed
with the capability of changing our nature. We can be born and raised one way
and ascend or descend to anything we choose. We can grow up believing one thing
and come to believe the complete opposite or anywhere in between. A worker bee
can never bee queen, likewise a queen cannot become a drone. But common man can
become King and king can renounce/lose his throne and live a peasant’s life.
At this stage of human development, it should be simple
to change. Unfortunately change is up there higher than public speaking as
fears go. The ego will fight hard, tooth and nail, for its comfort zones. ‘Don’t move to a new town’ ‘You don’t know
anyone there. Stay here’ ‘You’re too old to go back to school/to start over’ ‘You’ve
been smoking too long to quit’ ‘Withdrawal is painful’ ‘I’m too young to be married’ ‘Marriage is hard’
The Natural man calls it staying happy and free. The
prototypes are The Nature Boy Ric Flair, Hugh Hefner, Frank Sinatra, The
Playboys… He develops a lifestyle that doesn’t promote any growth but is
completely comfortable. No matter how macho a natural man comes off, his ego is
deeply afraid. Change is coming and it will ruin ego’s pre-established comfort
patterns. The natural man is completely unaware all this is going on. He is
proud to have a huge ego. It’s warm and cuddly like the womb.
Without presence of mind we are ruled by our natures aka
ego. Knowledge of self kills ego. Hidden within ourselves are hopes and dreams
and aspirations. Hidden deep down is change and growth. Not only perspective but
a complete paradigm shift comes from listening to something other than ego.
Freedom and happiness take on new meaning.
Presence of mind makes us responsive instead of reactive.
We can begin to consider some of the dumbness that comes out of our mouths. “That’s
just how I feel.” “I can’t change.” “That’s just me.” We question our
motivations. Eventually, we can catch stupidness before it leaves our mouths.
Truly responsive men will replace ‘grown ass’ natural
men. These new men will realize being born into sin only means there is an
option. Responsible individuals can choose not to sin. We are born into sin. It’s
in our nature. The natural man can tell that shit to God.
I can envision St. Peter standing at the gates – “Oh
really? Born sinning? In your nature? Why don’t you talk to another one of our angels?
Just wait over there over that square…” (Trapdoor Sounds)
Natural Men, you’ve been
warned…
Good luck with that shit!
Natural men are the extreme. I only use them to explain
behavior that is apparent in ALL of us. After I get rid of the natural men, I’m
coming after the rest of you. We must put aside our egos completely if we want
to evolve into our better selves. Egos will and must be eradicated in order for
our world to not only survive but flourish.
