What I Learned On My Way to Church

10/6/13

Milton called the "sideline hustlers" out when he said if you don't have a business licenses and aren't paying taxes, you don't have a business. Michael learned a hard lesson about trusts and pre-nups last year. And Lanisha just said I need a mission statement for my newest child, RuggeD Posterity. So, as I was writing my oldest nephew a letter, I had to reflect on my life, my hustles and my future. That meant meditating on what I will leave behind for my family and community. And then I pulled up the scriptures for church so I could read before I got there...

Habakkuk is three simple chapters with huge implications. Habakkuk looked around him and only saw disaster after disaster, war, famine (depression), corruption... He called to God. "Where are the miracles you are famous for?" God's answer - write down your prophesy in stone so you never forget where you are going. Never forget what you are doing. See, the bad times can distract you from your purpose. We must focus.

It's very timely that I was introduced to a man (Ja War) who insisted on reminding us to write letters to our children. Those letters become manifestos. Those manifestos become trusts. Those trusts are legacy so we can leave something more than debts and habits behind. That is real wealth. That's a true inheritance.

There was a boarding house in my family. Was!. There was no trust. And so, there is no legacy.

We don't have to be the most verbose people to deliver instructions to our proceeding generations. We can give a real testimony. Second Timothy minds us that we have God's spirit and that spirit ain't no punk. So why are we always afraid to be our best selves? Why are we afraid to declare what our futures will be? We don't have any reason to be.

Some of you are familiar with a practice in churches called giving a testimony. That's where members of the congregation stand up and talk about what has happened to them. They usually point out God's presence. The rest of the congregation claps and cheers for God. Some people reflect on their recent past and see God was there too.

How many times, if this is your type of church, has anyone stood up and proclaimed what WILL be? Let's change that. Let's only proclaim what will be. And let's write it in stone for all posterity. Let's leave a mission of prosperity just in case the bad times come again and/or our progeny get lost on their journeys.

I usually don't extend the gospel reading beyond the verses read in church but the beginning of Luke 17 is major. Two things. You all know we stumble. Sin is everywhere. But Jesus says, the one that makes you stumble has his/her issue coming... Woe unto them! But here is where we must be bigger and better.

We must forgive them if and when they repent. Each and every time. This ain't an easy road I'm walking but it’s going somewhere worth far more than the journey.

“9 Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? 10 So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'"

This one is important, how many of yall do this - looking for the glory. "I go to church every day. Let me get a miracle God." “I pay my tithes. Let me have..." "I go to work, on time even, everyday. I need a raise." "I go to school..." "I take care of my children (AKA keep them alive)."

Someone is doing all those things and not asking for anything but more work. Who do you think is going to get their blessing first?

As the father said yesterday, "We don't do good deeds for the reward, we do it because of who God is" As we become more Christ like, we learn that God is in each of us and the connection with God is a connection with others. Jesus could drive out demons because he could see the light in the darkest of places. That power is in us. So we learn to Love without expectation, to give without return. That is the greatest commandment - to Love. And when we learn, we teach the people around us. We create a legacy and tradition to be handed down from generation to generation.

Our manifestos don’t have to be anywhere near as grand as Dr. King dream, but they should be in the same vein. Instead, or in addition to, the daily play by plays that are our journal entries, we can leave blueprints/treasure maps/unfinished puzzles to our descendants. We may not make it all the way to final goal but each generation should be closer to it than we were when we passed. THAT is the true wealth. That is what any and everyone has to give to their children. That is our mission. That is hope. That is faith. That is Love.

…for eternity…

Start writing…

What I Learned in Church: The Early Edition

Feeling a little inspired today. Thank God for my good friends and their good energy. The company you keep is very important. God has been answering my prayers and revealing some great friends and making room for them in my life.

So I finally decided what I’m doing for Lent this year. This year, I’m staying in-doors. That’s school, work, home (or someone’s house) til Easter. My apologies in advance to the three people who are going to miss hanging out with me.

So let’s get in this book. Deuteronomy 26 breaks down First Fruits and tithes, going into the reasons why we give God the primary glory for all that we are blessed with. Then we repeat, “Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble.” That’s an easy way to remind ourselves that God is ALWAYS there, not just when the sun is shining! In Romans 10, (a VERY important chapter) we break down the basis of salvation. If you believe in Jesus, you will be saved. And then, in Luke 4, Jesus fasts for 40 days and 40 nights. The devil tries him up and he holds on to his faith, conquering the devil.

And you've heard all this before. But have you really thought about it?

On Friday, I listened to a radio show titled “Black Churches: Accountability to the Community”. My first thought was, “What’s the community’s accountability to the church?” Can you imagine Peter, Paul, Simon, or any of the founders of Christianity saying the things that Christians today say. They all got asked to follow Jesus and they ended up leading within a few years. Today, we grow up in the church; we stay in the church for years and are not becoming leaders. We give tithes wondering when we are going to get it back. We keep asking what the church can give us, without ever learning how to give.

Look at the book again. We've already been given the blessing. We already have the power. It’s because of God that we have. So we’re not giving our tithes and waiting for a return. We've already been blessed and are giving God what’s his. Giving without concern; giving full of joy is the blessing in itself. There’s no more to it. Remember, God always being there means he was there BEFORE you got the gifts to give. God has already given us to power to be a blessing to ourselves and others. What are we doing with it?

And what do we really believe in? What’s in our hearts? Sure, many, many of us confess with our mouths and call on the name of the Lord. But what we believe in our hearts will be manifested in our lives. That Jesus gave died and rose again means eternal life for us as well. AS WELL! It means that we have the possibility of being just like Jesus. THAT’s what the founders of Christianity attempted and taught. That we could also fast and resist the Devil. Not the way we do now. What do we do in adversity? Do we stand girded with the armor of God? Or do we run?

Saying you believe in Jesus is just a step. Putting true belief in our hearts is a process. Do it! Fast. Pray. Believe, not just when people ask you but especially when you get tried up! Stand!

Tomorrow, you may not get challenged this way so think on it now. Maybe you should stand tomorrow and help your church. God has already done his job. Have you done yours?

Journal

This is an apology of sorts.

I'm sorry I'm away so much. This past month and a half have been interesting. Trying to find a way to organize my highly volatile life into a productive schedule, learning to say yes to life and no to users, getting sucked into playing diplomat for my High School Alumni and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my new friends.

SUPER exciting!

But for the last week I have been troubled . I wasn't doing what I Loved. And, come to find out, it has been over a month and a half since Decision 2012!!! I can't believe it. I've gone time before but I've been so caught up with life that I kept thinking it had only been a week or two. Six weeks later...I'm rambling an apology to to my readers.

So I was working on call with a moving company. That was fun. I got some exercise. I made a friend or two.  I got a bank account for free. I felt like I was winning. In a way, I was. It was definitely a step in the right direction. But it was just that, a step.
An English man working with the moving company gave the most appropriate answer when I asked him what he really did. He said, I haven't found my passion yet. Another coworker was actually following his passion. So much so that he would refuse to work at times to be in his studio. So profound and inspiring. Still, I wasn't a fit there. Temping/Waiting Tables here I come! So I learned to stick with my passion although I haven't been producing of late. It's fine. I"ll figure it out.

I've began working with two other companies since April. I am now you local Herbalife distributor. That is not a plug. I don't care if you want to stay fat. I don't care if you think you know everything there is to know about health. I live in Los Angeles. Everyone wants a beach body. I can help. No magic pills but delicious shakes and aloe and tea and health! Take it or leave it. Me Vale Verga
AND I'm super excited to have been invited back into the Real Estate industry. I have been certain for years that I could make money even in this economy with real estate. Now, I get to prove myself right. And I'm doing it with some Real Go Getters!
And I had to chump off my travel business sponsor. Not actually, but she's beggin for it. The last time my travel sponsor called me selfish for not convincing business morons that they can sale. I am a business man. I can sale. I am so good at it that I can sale by telling the truth. I can sale BECAUSE I tell the truth. I will not lie to socially inept people and sale them a business built around social networking. Just because you have no passion for anything in life, doesn't mean that everyone else is hopeless. So no! While I say yes to business and getting my own travel agency, NO to the bullshit that goes along with it.

Speaking of bullshit. My high school won the Hoodie Award for Best High School. Somehow I ended up behind the scenes of the drama that went along with it. I just wanted to help. My school needs it. My alumni need it. Mostly, it seems, my alumni need it. Some people who graduated from my high school LONG before I did must still believe they are in high school because they insist on cliquing up. Granted I am accepted and invited into all circles, but this is not about me. Charity is completely selfless. If any parties involved in the political behind the scenes of my high school alumni read this, SELFLESS. Whatever bullshit you insist on keeping up this year WILL be outed. I was warned about the snakes. I'm not worried about them one bit. I was given power to trample/tread/crush all snakes. So good luck people. I will win. My school will win. We always do!

And on top of all that, as my good friend would say - I'm sitting back munching on my Pop Secret popcorn watching people reveal themselves and their dysfunction.


Anyway, I'm back to work.
More to come...

You’re A Crackhead

      I used to assume people were on crack based on their behavior…

            Now I see addiction is one behavior all to itself.

            As I explore my life, I realize. I’ve always been an addict. There was always something I’ve been addicted to. When I outgrew one thing, I shifted to another. My adult life has always been an exercise in impulse control. What is amazing is, in writing this intro, I discovered a seamless shift between my two major vices, both of which center around one fixation.

            As early as I can remember I sucked my thumb. My parents started trying to talk me out of it early. I also had a pillow similar to Linus’ blanket. My mom even tried to sew a different cover on the pillow to hide it from me. The attraction wasn’t visual though. With the pillow, as well as the main fixation, it was sensual. I loved the feel of the fabric inside the pillow. I would pull and rub it through the outer material and that friction and sensation were incomparable. I even found an alternative inside certain jacket/coat pockets as well as my comforter. I was able to abandon the pillow and go mobile. I don’t know if there is a causation but the “pillow” habit does correlate with me not masturbating until I was 18.

            The attraction to sucking my thumb was oral. Nothing persuaded me to stop. Nothing! At 13 I just stopped. Around the same time, I started drinking on the weekends. I’m sure there is a correlation. I never stopped drinking. Nothing could change that.

            As I became a person who questions my motivations, I began to see patterns which paralleled addictive behavior. My eating became habit. Although I enjoy a wide variety of foods, I found myself sticking to one or just a few meals. My comfort foods are foods of habit. Even now I’m in the middle of a love affair with peanuts. My effort must go into ignoring peanuts sometimes just so that I can eat other foods and not peanuts all day.

            Then there is my greed. I can only eat just one Lay. But I don’t want to! I want the whole bag. No matter what size, I must practice putting it down. If I like it, I want it all, all the time. (And I’m good at it too!)

            And that is addiction; habit and greed.

            Only my sensuality and oral fixation saved me from smoking. I never enjoyed the way cigarettes made my mouth feel. Plus, the need for sensation had me inhaling deeper and deeper. Soon I was carrying Listerine and gum 24/7 and brushing my teeth ten times a day. I was a bachelor. I couldn’t be caught unprepared to kiss. And I didn’t want to limit myself to other smokers, although I was more than ready to exploit their oral fixations. And the cigarette butts everywhere and the smoke…  no tanto sexy!

            So over 30 years after I first picked up my pillow and popped my thumb in my mouth, self examination has me practicing self control and asking myself which habits to keep. Labeling myself as an addictive personality, I wonder what it really means to be an addict.

            People are addicted to so many things: drugs, work, sex, money, naked-dick sex, sex, gambling, gossip, negativity, positivity, church, coffee, cigarettes, bacon, Oprah, did I say sex?, sex (just in case)… What is it that connects all these people? And when does one become that all encompassing addict – a crackhead?

            At some point one thing takes top priority and spreads the gap between first priority and second priority so far apart that someone who meets you will make no other assumption except – You are a crackhead.

            It’s no secret, when it comes to DUI’s, I’m 5-0 – no convictions. (Update: I'm 5-1. I suffered a forfeit.) I still had to go to AA meetings. They didn’t take. Not that there is anything wrong with AA or it’s steps and traditions. It seemed every time I went, I couldn’t connect with the people telling the stories. There were absolutely no similarities. All those people smoked crack. Even if they didn’t say so, no drinker could possibly do or go through the things they talked about. Plus, alcohol’s not the gateway drug, weed is. That’s DARE 101. I didn’t have anything in common with a crackhead

            That was denial. My ego was fighting hard to keep me comfortable and blind. Only when I abandoned my ego was I able to see that.

            We all tend to view addiction as an extreme only inside the realm of drug use. The crackhead is just the person who is addicted to crack and acts crazy.

But what if (Big IF)

we aren’t addicted to crack and we still act like a crackhead.

What makes a crackhead? Is it only the crack? Could it be more than usual tomfoolery we associate with crackheads?

A confession: I must admit that I am an addict. I first started dabbling in my teens. I would mess around with it then retreat to “safety” before things got too heavy. I carried on this way off and on for years. Things came to a head when I moved to Atlanta. Of course, there was a girl. She turned me out. I had to have more then. I thought about it all the time. I was trying up women left and right. I may have turned a few out. I tried to stay straight for a few years. I even let a few women off the hook to protect them from my addiction. I thought I had it under control. I didn’t. It wasn’t until I submitted to my higher power that I was able to come out of it. Thank God I got out clean. I still struggle from time to time but God is on my side for real!

            Now it is time for me to lay it all out on the table for my family and friends and admit it finally. I am…

This is hard…

…I am…

…an…

…a naked-dicker.

It was hard to admit that. Rock bottom for me was waiting on the results of my AIDs test and reliving my sexual past. I passed. I’m in recovery now. Everyday it’s a battle.

I had to admit that now so that people can truly understand the nature of addiction. You can be addicted to the most harmless things. The addiction and addiction behavior make those things dangerous. Be careful of being an addict.            

            …to anything…

You too may be a Crackhead…

What I Learned In Church: Saved by Faith Not Works (An Alternative Perspective)

Current mood: animated
Category: Life
We are saved by faith not works.

I was concerned about missing church for so long. Then I was concerned about being late today. Then I walked in on that scripture. We often get caught up in the glamour of our religion, the glamour of our jobs, the glamour of our lives. We want to be able to tell someone "I'm a Christian" "I'm a Buddhist." "I'm an atheist" "I work here" "I work there" I'm a doctor" "I'm a police man" "I date him/her" "I married this or that thing" "I had kids with …(his/her name slips my name at the moment)"

And we all want to wear our badges of distinction. In Deuteronomy, the Hebrew people started wearing a phylactery (a tiny box containing a piece of paper with the heart of the Israelite law written on it.) Today some Jewish people still wear it when they pray. Just like some other Jews carry mini Torahs around, or Christians wear crosses, some Moslems wear the crescent and star, or Buddhists carry mini prayer books. I know some of us throw the bible in the windshield hoping for some protection when we drive. Police officers love to flash badges to gain special privileges. We want the world and God and his Mama to see everything good we do.

But Paul warned about getting caught up in deeds. If you truly want to help your fellow man, just help. Don't get caught up in the rules. As a child we might have gotten praise for following this or that rule. We all know as an adult there is no such thing. The reward IS the deed. We don't go to church to say we went. I mean, do we get extra prayers/blessings for writing our name and address on the donation envelope? We all went to medical school to save lives – I think. We became lawyers…to…(well that was for the money but you know what I mean.) And I know we got married and had kids out of love. I know weddings are cool, the open bar is REAL nice, naked-dicking is cool when you are married and someone has to take out the trash – nothing beats slave (I mean child labor…I mean allowances.)

And Jesus even told us, those crosses we got hanging around our necks will get us NOWHERE. All the flamboastin and flashiness, the vanity plates (4GOD, LVJESUS…etc) won't get us into, don't come with us in heaven. So what purpose do they serve? Check Matthew Chapter seven.

"A faithful response to God's way"
God is good all the time. But we don't trust that. We live totally in our perspective. Trust in the goodness of God. Life shifts. Things change. It may seem like turbulence and turmoil if you don't have the faith. It's about the way we change ourselves to fit God's ways.

It's not about The Show. It's about doing something. It's about being Christian, buddhist, Moslem. It's about finding the happiness and joy in BEING whoever/whatever you are. It's not so much about being good as it is about being good at being


Wow this is your best! This is so true.

Why thank you! I was leaning towards worst because I have just been squeezing them out lately. Plus, people didn't seem to be reading. But I have been getting pleasantly surprised this week.

I totally agree with what you are saying!! God bless you...

And also you sister!

What I Learned In Church: 4/4/2008

Current mood: luminous
Category: Life


Announcements:
To everyone (Friends, family, and random strippers/whores and generally loose women) I got a chance to spend time with in Los Angeles, Thank You for providing one of the best birthdays and trips home ever. It won’t be so long before the next trip this time.

As luck would have it, while I was considering the logistics of attending my old church on Sunday, my sister mentions my Step-Mother is speaking at church on Sunday. What a pleasant surprise. I do enjoy the rare occasions when she speaks on more than the announcements. She possesses a wisdom I don’t think she even knows about.

A Word:
Church, the word for today is FAITH. The responorial Psalm is:
NO THING in the universe can negate the Good God has for me. Believe that. Live that. Let that make it easier for you to be yourself.
Repeat after me - "Here I am. As I am. Giving thanks THAT I am."
If you don’t know what to be thankful for, just look around. Be grateful.
Having faith means having the faith OF God instead of faith in God. Where is our faith? Are we faithful to God? Are we even faithful to ourselves? Mark Chapter 11 Jesus told a tree to die and it died. "If anyone says to this mountain, ’Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his/her heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. How far away are we from THAT level of faith? That’s Dalai Lama faith. That’s the Buddha’s faith.
If you say you have apply your faith. Live like you actually believe what you believe in. Ask and you shall receive. ONCE! One time quick hit and move. Pray, believe, work and wait. The key is working and waiting. We are most impatient and lazy when it comes to our blessings.
The time never existed for "believers" who don’t do shit. And pestering God won’t ever work. Who wants to help someone who doesn’t believe in them?
Anyone can attend a church but not everyone is a member. Anyone can pray but not everyone is a believer. And you can say whatever you want but not everyone has the faith their spirituality calls for. In fact, the faithful are few.
My step-mom always says practice the three Rs.
1. Release the past
2. Renew the relationship with God
3. Recognize the God power within you
No matter how much training, learning and studying, if you aren’t applying the lessons to your everyday life, you’ve only done half the work.
Take time to pray, love, live, be yourself, appreciate life and above all, believe in ALL of it.


Although I am not Christian I can see your Step-mom's advice being applicable to all people.

Release the past
Renew a relationship with the miracle of existence
Recognize the divinity within yourself

There....same concept framed outside of religious concept.

Yup! Good advice for anyone.

I don't just write for Christians you know. The truth and the light don't only shine in one's church. They shine at McDonald's, The Strip Club, Hooters, that one topless carwash in the secret location or where ever. You just have to want to see it

Pray, believe, work and wait.....I love this blog...jus recently I have been putting those 4 words into effect in my life and the results are incredible!!! To believe that you will recieve what youv'e asked for and take the responsibility of doing the work and "patiently" waiting on the results of the latter 3 is amazing and a joy....*sometimes the wait isn't very long either* Thanks for the affirmation and confirmation.

I'm working on the THREE