Journal

This is an apology of sorts.

I'm sorry I'm away so much. This past month and a half have been interesting. Trying to find a way to organize my highly volatile life into a productive schedule, learning to say yes to life and no to users, getting sucked into playing diplomat for my High School Alumni and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my new friends.

SUPER exciting!

But for the last week I have been troubled . I wasn't doing what I Loved. And, come to find out, it has been over a month and a half since Decision 2012!!! I can't believe it. I've gone time before but I've been so caught up with life that I kept thinking it had only been a week or two. Six weeks later...I'm rambling an apology to to my readers.

So I was working on call with a moving company. That was fun. I got some exercise. I made a friend or two.  I got a bank account for free. I felt like I was winning. In a way, I was. It was definitely a step in the right direction. But it was just that, a step.
An English man working with the moving company gave the most appropriate answer when I asked him what he really did. He said, I haven't found my passion yet. Another coworker was actually following his passion. So much so that he would refuse to work at times to be in his studio. So profound and inspiring. Still, I wasn't a fit there. Temping/Waiting Tables here I come! So I learned to stick with my passion although I haven't been producing of late. It's fine. I"ll figure it out.

I've began working with two other companies since April. I am now you local Herbalife distributor. That is not a plug. I don't care if you want to stay fat. I don't care if you think you know everything there is to know about health. I live in Los Angeles. Everyone wants a beach body. I can help. No magic pills but delicious shakes and aloe and tea and health! Take it or leave it. Me Vale Verga
AND I'm super excited to have been invited back into the Real Estate industry. I have been certain for years that I could make money even in this economy with real estate. Now, I get to prove myself right. And I'm doing it with some Real Go Getters!
And I had to chump off my travel business sponsor. Not actually, but she's beggin for it. The last time my travel sponsor called me selfish for not convincing business morons that they can sale. I am a business man. I can sale. I am so good at it that I can sale by telling the truth. I can sale BECAUSE I tell the truth. I will not lie to socially inept people and sale them a business built around social networking. Just because you have no passion for anything in life, doesn't mean that everyone else is hopeless. So no! While I say yes to business and getting my own travel agency, NO to the bullshit that goes along with it.

Speaking of bullshit. My high school won the Hoodie Award for Best High School. Somehow I ended up behind the scenes of the drama that went along with it. I just wanted to help. My school needs it. My alumni need it. Mostly, it seems, my alumni need it. Some people who graduated from my high school LONG before I did must still believe they are in high school because they insist on cliquing up. Granted I am accepted and invited into all circles, but this is not about me. Charity is completely selfless. If any parties involved in the political behind the scenes of my high school alumni read this, SELFLESS. Whatever bullshit you insist on keeping up this year WILL be outed. I was warned about the snakes. I'm not worried about them one bit. I was given power to trample/tread/crush all snakes. So good luck people. I will win. My school will win. We always do!

And on top of all that, as my good friend would say - I'm sitting back munching on my Pop Secret popcorn watching people reveal themselves and their dysfunction.


Anyway, I'm back to work.
More to come...

Trying to Get The P for Free: Ode To Baby Daddies/Ex-Husbands and Shout Out to Real Fatherhood

            Despite what KRS-1 says and ALL my best efforts, the P is not free. In some way or another we all end up paying, before or after, for sex.

I’m sure we’re all familiar with what men will do to get sex, and how they change after but this is a little deeper.

What about when the for some reason or another outside of true Love, the man wants to stay? Sometimes the reason is as trivial as just wanting to back up a bunch of shit talking. In fact, most of the time the sex is not that great at all and it is the shit talking that keeps couples together.

It all begins with all the false identities we present to each other that build into the bigger promises we make in order to keep up relationships that are built on nothing. I know people whose relationships have less real talk than a couple in a Cinemax movie. That tends to be the way when people don’t want to hear the truth. The less talking, the less chance hurting one another’s feelings. In all relationships, plutonic, business, political as well as romantic, the truth is not very popular. Everyone just wants to be Politically Correct.

After centuries of these polite relationships, we’ve developed a society of dysfunctional relationships.  In short we are all a bunch of liars. We are an overly sexual society and most of us want to keep it a secret. Both the men and the women want to avoid being labeled. We all get into sexual relationships that we want to keep sexual. But the only way to keep any relationship purely sexual is to pay. As the saying goes - you don’t pay hookers for sex, you pay them to go away. But it’s a recession and as sexual as America is, no one wants to be seen as overly sexual, so we avoid hookers and situations where we could be seen as hookers.

And that begins the delicate dance of love. We want to get the P for free so we pretend to be in love. The only problem is we can’t dance. We keep making up more and more lies to keep the P free. We tell so many lies for so long that sometimes we wake up married with kids.

Here’s the bad news: Eventually, the truth always comes out. AND, eventually you always pay for the P. The longer you go without paying, the larger the bill raises. So when you finally figure out you’ve been playing yourself, you’ve got to pay.

Most of the time, the bill comes in the form of child support and, by the time that bill comes, play time is over. Another bill is called alimony. All of these “bills” come as a result of trying to avoid the prepayment for sex. I used to look down on a friend of mine who bragged about paying his wife for sex. But looking at their situation now, if they do ever make a split, it will be clean because he prepaid. They don’t have children. And his payments are documented. Worst case scenario, he’ll have to maintain his already small payments. Best case scenario, he’ll win and she’ll have to pay him.

 But let’s talk about the losers.

At some point in failed relationships, amnesia sets in. All the promises are forgotten. All the good times erased. All the lies ignored except for their use in arguments. When it comes to “Baby-Mamas”, “Baby Daddies” (I threw up a little in my mouth typing those words. I hate them so much. That’s another blog though.), Ex-Husbands and Ex-Wives it’s hard to look at them and imagine they ever loved or even tolerated each other enough to have unprotected sex once let alone a whole relationship’s worth of sex.

Dr. Laura always keeps it real. A couple may not reunite after splitting up but when children become involved, continued communication is mandatory. I didn’t realize my parents still talked till I was like twenty. They argued so much in front of me that it seemed impossible they could ever communicate rationally. I was so wrong! No wonder I couldn’t get away with any of that playing one against the other shit.

Number 8 is the biggest. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. All you are doing is just building a debt you WILL be forced to repay in one way or another. What started as lies to get the P for free can eventually lead to making false promises to children and can end up with you forking up some bail money for your stripper daughter.

The bottom line for men as well as women in relationships that doesn’t/won’t work out is to be honest to your words. Whether or not you can actually live up to the all the shit you talk in relationships, you WILL have to pay the debt one day. It may include child support, it may include alimony, it may be tuition, and you may have to raise someone else’s kid. But the most important debt you owe is to the children. And it’s not about money. It’s about time and Love. It’s about keeping your priorities in line.

When you truly make family and Love the priority, the money won’t matter. Neither parent will run from their responsibilities. And whether or not the romantic relationship works out the relationship between both parents must be maintained. Not just for the children but for fulfillment within your personal lives.

Paying what you owe is all about being true to yourself. At some point we all have to face the reality of our decisions. The sooner we do, the easier it will be to handle our responsibilities.

The P is not free. Whether it’s $1.50 for a pack of rubbers or $215,000 for college, you will pay. Even if it’s just time and the energy of dealing with each other honestly, which I say is the best value, you must pay.

It’s never too late ladies and gentlemen. No blame, no games, just start with a little honesty. And…

Pay what you owe.