Dumbing Down to Sell My Intelligence

I am the magical negro.

No I’m not. In fact, I may fight the next person who tries me up like that.

I am, however, very likely the smartest person you have ever met. I’m not bragging. I’m just repeating what I often hear and have heard since I left Brentwood. (Does that mean I’ve been associating myself with dumber and dumber people?)  I hope that’s not so because I have to make some changes.

Being a helpful person AND so intelligent, the greedy and selfish are always lurking as well as the lazy and dreamless. I’m just tired. Now that I am absolutely certain I can’t help everyone nor can I work with everyone,  I must avoid the users at all costs.

It’s time. This shit is getting out of hand. I am officially no longer concerned with anyone’s insecurities about dealing with me. ANYONE. I dimmed my lights for far too long to make people comfortable and they (All of them) STILL have to get their shit together. I’ve spilled out million dollar ideas and blessed people with the tools to create wealth. I’ve even slaved myself to build other people’s dreams. The results? Nothing. No success for anyone involved. The greedy just ask for more. The selfish are still asking why their shit doesn’t work. The lazy are still waiting on someone to carry them. And I’m tired and beat.

People think my help is magic. It’s not. They imagine I’m a genie they just rub the right way and blessings just fall out my ass.

What really happens is more like this:

Yeah, we’re in a C1. But, we’re at burger king:

When I could building you yachts, you wanna floss at Burger King. And I only chose that picture because that guy is supposed to be the latest “magical negro”. But, like I stated in the last Burger King Blog, it’s Burger King. If those are all the dreams you have, you need to just step aside. My dreams will use your dreams as a tax write off. If you have bigger dreams and you refuse to take any steps towards them, you need to Get The Fuck Out of the Way. I can eat your dreams and shit out dreams bigger than anything you can imagine.

All that is to say - I am disappointed in quite a few people. And because I have been blessed with many brilliant alternatives, I mean, I have so many new acquaintances, mentors and inspirations; I must shoot some people to the curb.

So! New Rules:

                I will not work with you without a vision. You and your ‘business’ must have a missions statement for me to even talk to you about life.

                I am not a secretary. I am a writer. I write. You want a letter, resume, some shit typed up/edited; hire a typist. I might actually do those things but not for free and you can’t afford me.

                I am willing and prepared to do some free work to establish myself. That does not mean I want to be involved in your slavery ring.

                If you don’t have your shit together, be prepared to pay. My advice is find someone else. I charge extra for doing extra and you can’t afford me.

                I am in love with networking, working online and home businesses. That does not mean I want to sign up to sell off brand coffee. The only businesses I am interested in that aren’t mine are Amway, Herbalife, and Traverus. I will not commit my time to anything else. Quit trying to sell me on ‘no selling’. GTFOH

                If you want to know what I know, go back to elementary school Billy Madison. I suggest Brentwood Science Magnet. It worked well for me. If you are my age and failed to learn what I have learned, what makes your dumb ass think I can tell you what I know in five minutes? I probably couldn’t teach you if I had the rest of your life.

You cannot have a dime from me. Today, I don’t even have a dime to give but it’s coming. I’ve seen what you do with money. Financially, most of you need to be wearing helmets on the short bus and get lunch tickets. No allowance. No lunch money. That’s all

                IF (IF IF IF) I work with you, Shut The Fuck Up! Whatever you have been doing for the last whatever days/months/years is stupid. If it was smart, I would be working FOR you. Or, you wouldn’t need me at all. There is no nicer way to say this. Believe me, I have tried millions (TRILLIONS) of variations. [I’m exaggerating. It was more like thousands]Trying to use my intelligence to fix your dumb ideas is like putting a mango salsa on rotten steak.  That shit don’t match and it’s too late anyway. Just take this recipe and eat up.

Just be honest. I know you’re a moron. But I’m still talking to you. You didn’t succeed in fooling me into believing you are on my level. You’re just wasting your own time. I’m, at least, getting a little laugh at you pretending to know things.  Just tell me what you want and I will tell you how I can help you get there. Sound simple? It is. That’s why I do the thinking

I may seem vain or mean. But so what? How inconsiderate is it to ask me to dumb down my intelligence for your cockamamie schemes? How retarded is it to spend time chasing thousand dollar dreams that have failed already when I have million dollar plans in my trash can? Just take one and run with it.

I must apologize. I just came up with this quote that I’m going to use again later this week for an entirely different subject. Michael Jordan doesn’t play pickup games. I may have misled a few people by even considering doing something like that. For that, I apologize. But know I won’t be getting involved in amateur hour.

That’s it. I still Love. I’m still generous. I just had to put some things out in the open so that people understand (If they care to know) why I can’t work with them and so future people know right off the bat how to approach me.

For the most part, people don’t have to worry. I won’t be around long enough to concern anyone. Like I said before, I am being blessed to get back into circles of intelligence. That means less time slumming it. It was fun. I had some good times, a lot of laughs and a ton of stories to tell. I’ll leave behind some instructions. If you ever bother to learn how to read, maybe I’ll see you again on the other side of success.

It’s bed time. Goodnight all. Goodbye some…