Journal

This is an apology of sorts.

I'm sorry I'm away so much. This past month and a half have been interesting. Trying to find a way to organize my highly volatile life into a productive schedule, learning to say yes to life and no to users, getting sucked into playing diplomat for my High School Alumni and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my new friends.

SUPER exciting!

But for the last week I have been troubled . I wasn't doing what I Loved. And, come to find out, it has been over a month and a half since Decision 2012!!! I can't believe it. I've gone time before but I've been so caught up with life that I kept thinking it had only been a week or two. Six weeks later...I'm rambling an apology to to my readers.

So I was working on call with a moving company. That was fun. I got some exercise. I made a friend or two.  I got a bank account for free. I felt like I was winning. In a way, I was. It was definitely a step in the right direction. But it was just that, a step.
An English man working with the moving company gave the most appropriate answer when I asked him what he really did. He said, I haven't found my passion yet. Another coworker was actually following his passion. So much so that he would refuse to work at times to be in his studio. So profound and inspiring. Still, I wasn't a fit there. Temping/Waiting Tables here I come! So I learned to stick with my passion although I haven't been producing of late. It's fine. I"ll figure it out.

I've began working with two other companies since April. I am now you local Herbalife distributor. That is not a plug. I don't care if you want to stay fat. I don't care if you think you know everything there is to know about health. I live in Los Angeles. Everyone wants a beach body. I can help. No magic pills but delicious shakes and aloe and tea and health! Take it or leave it. Me Vale Verga
AND I'm super excited to have been invited back into the Real Estate industry. I have been certain for years that I could make money even in this economy with real estate. Now, I get to prove myself right. And I'm doing it with some Real Go Getters!
And I had to chump off my travel business sponsor. Not actually, but she's beggin for it. The last time my travel sponsor called me selfish for not convincing business morons that they can sale. I am a business man. I can sale. I am so good at it that I can sale by telling the truth. I can sale BECAUSE I tell the truth. I will not lie to socially inept people and sale them a business built around social networking. Just because you have no passion for anything in life, doesn't mean that everyone else is hopeless. So no! While I say yes to business and getting my own travel agency, NO to the bullshit that goes along with it.

Speaking of bullshit. My high school won the Hoodie Award for Best High School. Somehow I ended up behind the scenes of the drama that went along with it. I just wanted to help. My school needs it. My alumni need it. Mostly, it seems, my alumni need it. Some people who graduated from my high school LONG before I did must still believe they are in high school because they insist on cliquing up. Granted I am accepted and invited into all circles, but this is not about me. Charity is completely selfless. If any parties involved in the political behind the scenes of my high school alumni read this, SELFLESS. Whatever bullshit you insist on keeping up this year WILL be outed. I was warned about the snakes. I'm not worried about them one bit. I was given power to trample/tread/crush all snakes. So good luck people. I will win. My school will win. We always do!

And on top of all that, as my good friend would say - I'm sitting back munching on my Pop Secret popcorn watching people reveal themselves and their dysfunction.


Anyway, I'm back to work.
More to come...

What I Learned In Church: Christmas 2011

You know the story of Jesus’ birth but do you know what the story is all about?

This week was my return to El Shaddai. I have a bond with El Shaddai. There is learning wisdom, growth and, most of all, Love in that church. For all the traveling I do, there aren’t many churches that make me feel as at home as El Shaddai. For it to have been so long and so much to have changed, El Shaddai is still vital to my development. I have been and will continue to thank God for the influence of El Shaddai in my life as well as the life of my family.

Let us pray.

Lord thank you for your influence. Thank you for El Shaddai. God bless pastor White and the White family. Forgive me my distractions. Thank you for keeping me focused on Your word and Your Love despite the many other distractions. I trust I will receive your word through Pastor White and that the message will continue through me to all who actively seek You. We always pray in Jesus’ name. Amen

Many of us have heard the story of Jesus’ birth so many times and in so many ways, that we don’t pay attention even when we are reading it in the Bible. I’ve read the Bible cover to cover many times and I admit to glancing over parts I’ve heard about before especially the Nativity Story.

Read Luke chapters 1 and 2 in the spirit of meditation and focus. Let God’s word inspire you to study more. Realize YOU must study. YOU! I can tell you but true revelations come from actively seeking God not from hearing sermons. Sermons should inspire us to build and/or strengthen our relationships with God.

Proverbs 4:5-9 says “get wisdom”, “get understanding”, “it is the principle thing”. Ask for it. Seek it. By principle we mean first. Everyone is running to prosperity churches, buying books, running debt, and chasing dollars everywhere they can.  But if they have no wisdom, they have nothing.

In my family, we have a superstition. If your right palm itches, you’re going to get some money. Take it from me. I’ve seen money come and go. If there is any truth to the superstition, when your palm itches, you better get in that Bible. Get some wisdom FIRST! A fool and his money are soon parted (not in the Bible but true).

Wise people seek Christ. Not only is money fleeting, it will not get you what you truly want. Most of us have been looking for Love our entire lives. We never get it and instead fill our lives with ‘stuff’. Eventually our lives become full of everything but Jesus. James Chapter 3 warns us not only of the power of the tongue but of the difference between God’s wisdom and worldly wisdom.

There is nothing wrong with knowledge. A ton of people confuse, mix up and interchange knowledge, wisdom and understanding (www.dictionary.com). Because they are all interrelated most people grow to believe they are the same and that if they have one, they have the other. Knowledge of Christ leads you to God’s wisdom IF you keep seeking. It is unfortunate that there is never enough stuff, but there can be too much God for us. It’s even sadder when we consider how little satisfies us when it comes to God, while we are never satisfied with the little things in life.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labor. We work hard to get what we have and we should count all prosperity as a blessing from God. But when the ‘stuff’ gets to be more important than God, you fall into spiritual slavery to ‘stuff’. All of a sudden, your loving family and friends are not enough. Christmas stops being about family and Love. Christmas becomes a competition to see who has/gets the most ‘stuff’.

Through study, meditation and prayer we see that Jesus “was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that [you] through his poverty might be rich.” One thing I notice about truly wealthy people, the few I’ve met and the tons I’ve studied, is that they don’t make ‘stuff’ a priority. In the words of Dave Ramsey they – “Live like no other in order to live like no other”. On Sunday (it was Sunday more than it was Christmas) Pastor mentioned we must “go where we’ve never been to get what you never had”.

Now, let me be clear. My focus is giving my self up to God. I only look for opportunities to give and receive Love. My gift on Christmas was spending it in L.A. for the first time in five years. My gift was sitting with Pastor White at El Shaddai. My gift was seeing my changed cousin. My gift was a Snow Day with my girls. I also got to see my nephew act (well!) in A Christmas Carol. I got to see my niece practice and perform “What Christmas Means To Me” by Stevie Wonder. Above all I was blessed to be able to use my wisdom to keep Christmas full of Jesus and not ‘stuff’.

My one and only wish in writing this is that people who didn’t get those types of gift get them one day. Hopefully sooner than later. I pray that people, who became overwhelmed with ‘stuff’, find salvation. If it’s only salvation from ‘stuff’, I pray that’s the beginning of a total salvation. I pray that we reclaim the power that ‘stuff’ has over us, the power that makes us risk and give our lives, that hurts our feelings, that makes us be nice to douche-bags, to stress ourselves out and simply distracts us from God. We will have power over ‘stuff’ again.

Christmas and everyday can and will be full of Christ. And because I know better, I claim it all in the name of Jesus.

What I Learned In Church 12/11/11

What I Learned In Church 12/11/11

Let me start by thanking God for forgiving me for making my obstacles bigger than Him. Thank God for Your undying Love.

            This past Sunday I was at Triangular. I grew up there, as well as in other churches. I am just now though learning and understanding the philosophy of this particular church, just as I am coming into a fuller understanding of the Love of Jesus.

            Before we begin, let me share a few thoughts and announcements:

• Another day older but more so infinitely more mature.
• The Question of the Day was designed to show how we sometimes make man into idols and put men before God. I forgot, though, to ban preacher men from answering the question. (Thanks George!)
• Have you tried Jesus? Seriously!
  We have truly tried everything. All that IS left is choosing Jesus.
  That doesn't mean voting for a Crazy conservative next November. That means choosing Love now and letting that light shine everyday until November and beyond. This country and this world need and deserve your Love now and forever. Start with your self and watch it spread through your family to the world. Keep building. Keep growing. Never, not for one second, stop Loving. Choose Jesus from now on!
• We are Love so look for US everywhere.
• Keep on being a bright light; don't be a dim light.
  
  

And now the Word:

So, by his own words, Eddie Long's church is in jeopardy. Where Is The Healing? The healing is going on now. The people are leaving because they are supposed to. Revenues are down because they are supposed to be down. Eddie Long ("My church is in jeopardy") It is. But not The Church. Brick and mortar is in jeopardy all over because we've been choosing buildings and not God. God is clearing out the rift raft so we can choose Him and not idols. 

Healing is taking away obstructions between you and God. Obstructions are not just obvious sins like adultery or homosexuality or lying. Obstructions are making yourself, your life, your church and your problems bigger than the Real Church.

God is working with New Birth. In Matthew Chapter 9 Jesus first forgave the palsied man his sins so he could be healed. Then he told the man to rise and take his bed and go home. I’m sure Eddie Long asked for and was given forgiveness long ago. He and New Birth are still being healed. This is a specific process.

Healing is a process specifically for the individual. If you have someone to forgive, there is a healing process just for you. Remember the 7/70 plan (Matthew 18:20-22 - forgive him seven times seventy) It's not about being able to feel good It's about being able to do better. To Love better!

Attacking Eddie Long won't fix the problem. And forgiveness is not giving him a pass. Forgiveness is seeking and waiting till we find healing for Eddie Long and the church AND his accusers. The Church WILL get better. That may or may not
Include New Birth but The Church will be better.

"Pick[ing] up your bed" is taking dominion over your life. That bed was that mans life. Control that which has been controlling you. If it’s drugs, sex, lying, eating, did I say sex? Don’t play with it or let it play with you. No matter what it is, remember the Bible has a happy ending. Seek forgiveness and allow God to heal you. It’s a process. Go through it. God wins in the end. Despite how it looks now, God is working towards the best. Get on His team.

It’s funny. As soon as I heard Reverend Greg say Eddie Long. I said to myself – Awwwww man! More of that bull! But God uses everyone to shine his light. As we look to New Birth and pray for healing for that church, we should see God working in our lives to heal us as well. We should remember to remain patient and long suffering as we go through all that we must to be healed.

We’ll end with a special prayer for my Brother's Brother. Thank God for his healing hands.

What I Learned In Church: Prison

This is from a bible study in prison. We learned quite a bit that can be used by anyone seeking God. This is just one bit: 

“I Wanna Be Free”

It’s called an emotional heart attack. We get so overwhelmed with “The Drama” of life that we panic. It may not be as severe as a panic attack or an anxiety attack so we ignore the fact that we are acting out.

Samson had one. He was constantly turned against by his own people. It seemed like nothing he did was good enough. He could always turn to God but after a while, he got tired of not having someone human to talk to. So he turned to Delilah. I always thought she was his wife or girlfriend. But she was neither. He had a wife. And they don’t suggest that their relationship was any more than her being a shoulder to lean on. It doesn’t even seem like she set out to set him up. She just had a stronger allegiance to her people than to him. She could have been anyone. She could have been a homeboy from the other side of town. She could have been a coworker having a drink with you after work.

Today, in our lives, pressures build up and our emotions beat us up. We run to the wrong people, bad habits, old sins for help. Sometimes we find ourselves unloading ourselves on the first person who will listen without even considering who we are talking to.

Again, I must reiterate, that I’m not talking about panic attack levels. So many of us have so much baggage AND we are so used to taking the path of least resistance that one bad day at work can lead us to talking to the wrong person, firing up a cigarette after ten years, cussing, sleeping around or even just flirting with ideas you turned your back on long ago.

At the extreme, people claimed to have “Snapped”, they say they “Couldn’t Make It Anymore”. “They let me out of prison and I walked right into another one”. But that’s the extreme. You read that and say to yourself – I would notice if it gets that bad. But what about when you’re just a little bit more uncomfortable than you usually are.

In prison the stakes seem a little higher. Physical freedom is the focus. But whether or not you are in prison, - the real prison is the one inside ourselves. If we don’t get free inside ourselves, we’ll end up right back in prison or locked up on the outside

Prison is a walking cemetery, and so is “life” until we decide to change.

When we put our hope inside God’s hope, we are free. “Walketh not in the counsel of the un-Godly” (Psalms 1:1-3) The counsel of the un-Godly is not just a bunch of hoodlums on the corner. The counsel of the un-Godly is anything you turn to to relieve stress that is not God.

It’s easy if the un-Godly things in your life are people. CUT THEM LOOSE! Forgive them and let them go! …or the other way around if the situation requires.

But when they are things, we tend to let them become Delilah and weasel their way into a prominent position in our lives. It’s not always the hard stuff. It’s TV. It’s playing golf. It’s Facebook. It’s whatever we do to avoid dealing with ourselves and instead of seeking God.

And I’m not saying they are bad. I sure as hell ain’t getting off Facebook. It’s just being careful to not replace God with distractions. In ALL things, we should seek God. It’s sad to allow ourselves to be distracted by anything. And it’s potentially destructive to put anything in a Delilah position in your life. Most times God is available right inside our ordinary lives. We just don’t seek Him. When we look at our average everyday life we don’t see God. We see a rut.

Seeking God is an exercise (and I use that word exercise on purpose) in endurance. It is believing long after we got tired of believing. It’s holding on to our marriages. It’s staying focused on our real brothers and sisters. Staying vigilant lasts a little longer than a staring contest.

Hang in there, even if you get sidetracked. (Ephesians 2:1-5 ) There is a promise. (Genesis 22:16) God wins in the end.