The Break-Up

Everyone was so excited to see me settling down. Some weren't. But, to speak without really speaking on what happened these last three months without giving too many details, here is my newest poem entitled -



THE BREAK-UP
So many rhymes
So many lines
And I gave them all away
To you
Good riddance
Too many times
Too much of my life
You took it all away
For you
To leave hidden
A little more wine
And you're a little more fine
So I have to drink
For me
To want to hit it
A little too much wine
And you're so much less fine
So please don't drink
So you
Can still get it
What if I missed my life
What if I missed my wife
Just by being polite
Sometime doing what's nice
Isn't doing what's right
So tonight
Let's fight
With all our might
Against polite
Against fright
Miller light
And vodka on ice
Forget nice
This is life
Wrong is never right


So I left


Let me add - This is fiction. I was inspired by these last three months. I am changed for the better and I have no regrets. Everything I write (even a poem directly to a person) is an absolute truth. Truth is in your perspective and what YOU get out of my writing. I know my friends and readers get many different things. So, while I cannot hold back my writing from anyone, I do have to be clear that this poem is very dramatic. My relationship and the end of it was dramatic and that is all. I love all my friends (including exes who still wish to speak to me) for they make me who I am.

Thank you for reading. Never bitter. Never hateful. Just exhaling.


Brother you are a mess. You did not have to post the break up on the blog. That may hurt old girls feelings. The poem was tight though. It broke it all down for eall to understand
Love

Sis

That was tight as hell. Way to free yourself my brotha.

Of Course I had to respond. Please remember a poem is just a poem at times. A writer has to come up with words that rhyme and lines that come together to make a good poem. This can cause a situation to not be described completely. We had our good times and agreed we would not change knowing each other for anything. Also it was a mutual decision to break up Jas did not leave. After reading the poem last night I had to call and I’m glad we had the chance to talk and have decided to be friends. Jason keep writing your great at it. Oh and I do love Merlot and you do love your vodka mixed with water you were right about that we just had a little too much at times. I have much love for you and you have taught me more than any man has. Even though I know it was time to end the relationship you still are a great friend.

Talk to you later
Nesa

2008 - Some New Year Announcements

OK! I'm back.

It's 2008.

I'm about to be 30.

It's a New Year.

I don't usually make resolutions (mostly because I don't remember to make them until after I 've broken everything I might have thought of previously). Plus, I believe in continual and unending growth. It just so happens though that 2007 was so interesting and changing, I am forced to make some declarations for 2008.


Declaration 1 - I'm coming strong with the N word.

The fact is. Naked-Dickers have become a people onto themselves. Niggahs, I have found to be distinctly different. Niggardom has become vogue. The problem I face is with it being OK to be as trifling, lazy, ignorant and disrespectful (to others and to one's self) as any niggah could ever be defined but it is not OK to say anything about it. It's one thing to leave retards alone. I won't say anything about them. Retards never hurt anyone. But niggahs!!! NIGGAHS!!! These niggahs will be the ruin of modern society. (Watch "Idiocracy")
So know I'mma call you out! And I mean it in a bad way. So be ashamed. Niggahs – I'm talking to you!


Declaration 2 – I'mma fight somebody!

I'm not beefing right now. But I may have been a little too non-confrontational in the recent past. It's about time that I start punking people again. That being said, I am pretty certain I'll have to punch someone in the lip sometime this year. I've been doing pushups and abstaining most of last year. Watch out!

I gotta go now, we don't have to make all our resolutions today. We have a lifetime to learn and grow.


All I have to say is CHUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear your blogs never seem to disappoint

So Deep

Dec 1 - :)
Dec 2 - :(

i like the lovah. be a lovah, not a fightah.

OH I'm a lovah! A TOUGH Lovah. The dark will strike out in response to my light. I'm just going to have to strike back sooner or later.

Poetry from the Last Poets

This is not mine, but I was watching "Poetic Justice" ...

These are The Last Poets (If you don't know...) I used to try to bogard my Dad's albums and listen to them. (I heard them too!) AND...

Declaration 3 (For 1 and 2 ) - There will be poetry this year.
In Abundance!
With no further ado

Niggers Are Scared Of Revolution
Umar Bin Hassan


Niggers are scared of the revolution
But niggers shouldn't be scared of the revolution
Because the revolution is nothing but change
And all niggers do is change
Niggers come in from work and change into pimping clothes
And hit the streets to make some quick change
Niggers change their hair from black to red to blond
And hope like hell that their looks will change
Niggers kill other niggers
Just because one didn't receive the correct change
Niggers change from men to women
From women to men
Niggers change, change, change
You hear niggers say
Things are changing, Things are changing
Yeah, things are changing
Niggers change into black nigger things
Black nigger things that go through all kinds of changes
The change in the day that makes them rant and rave
Black power, black power
And the change that comes over them at night
As they sigh and moan
White thighs, ooohh, white thighs
Niggers are always going through bullshit change
But when it comes to real change
Niggers are scared of the revolution

Niggers are actors, niggers are actors
Niggers act like they are in a hurry
To catch the first act of the great white hope
Niggers try to act like Malcolm
And when the white man
Doesn't react to them like he did Malcolm
Niggers want to act violently
Niggers act so cool and slick
Causing white people to say
What makes you niggers act like that?
Niggers act like you ain't never seen nobody act before
But when it comes to acting out revolution
Niggers say "I can't dig them actions!
Niggers are scared of the revolution

Niggers are very untogether people
Niggers talk about getting high
And riding around in Els
Niggers should get high and ride to hell
Niggers talk about pimping
Pimping that, pimping what
Pimping your's, pimping mine
Just to be pimping, is a helluva line
Niggers are very untogether people
Niggers talk about the mind
Talk about my mind is stronger than yours
I got that bitch's mind up tight
Niggers don't know a damn thing about the mind
Or they'd be right
Niggers are scared of the revolution

Niggers fuck, Niggers fuck, fuck, fuck
Niggers love the word fuck
They think they're so fucking cute
They fuck you around
The first thing they say when they're mad – fuck it!!
You play a little too much with them
They say fuck you!
When it's time to tcb
Niggers are somewhere fucking
Try and be nice to them
They fuck over you
Niggers don't realize while they're doing all this fucking
They're getting fucked around
And when they do realize, It's too late
So niggers just get fucked up

Niggers talk about fucking
Fucking that, fucking this, Fucking your's, fucking my sis
Not knowing what they're fucking for
They ain't fucking for love and appreciation
Just fucking to be fucking
Niggers fuck
White thighs, black thighs, yellow thighs, brown thighs
Niggers fuck ankles when they ran out of thighs
Niggers fuck Sally, Linda and Sue
And if you don't watch out
Niggers will fuck you
Niggers would fuck fuck it could be fucked
But when it comes to revolutionary causes
Niggers say – fuck revolution!
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers are players, Niggers are players, are players
Niggers play, football, baseball, and basketball
While the white man
Is cutting off their balls
When the niggers' play ain't tight enough
To play with some black thighs
Niggers play with white thighs
To see if they still have some play left
And when there ain't no white thighs to play with
Niggers play with themselves
Niggers tell you they're ready to be liberated
But when you say let's go take our liberation
Niggers reply – I was just playin'!
Niggers are playing with revolution
And losing
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers do a lot of shooting, Niggers do a lot of shooting
Niggers shoot off at the mouth
Niggers shoot pool, niggers shoot craps
Niggers cut around the corners, And shoot down the street
Niggers shoot sharp glances at white women
Niggers shoot dope into their arm
Niggers shoot guns and rifles for New Year's Eve
(A new year that is coming in
The white police will do more shooting at them)
Where are niggers when revolution needs some shots?
Yeah you know, Niggers are somewhere shooting the shit
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers are lovers, Niggers are lovers, are lovers
Niggers love to see Clark Gable make love to Marilyn Monroe
Niggers love to see Tarzan fuck all the natives
Niggers to hear the Lone Ranger yell, Hi ho, Silver!
Niggers love commercials, Niggers love commercials
Oh, how niggers love commercials
"You can take niggers out of the country but,
You can't take the country out of niggers!!"
Niggers are lovers, are lovers, are lovers
Niggers loved to hear Malcolm rap
But they didn't love Malcolm
Niggers love everything but themselves
But I'm a lover too, yes I'm a lover too
I love niggers, I love niggers, I love niggers
Because niggers are me
And I should only love that which is me
I love to see niggers go through changes, Love to see niggers act
Love to see niggers make them plays, And shoot the shit
But there is one thing about niggers I do not love
Niggers are scared of revolution!



Buy the album to hear the real artist perform this.

The Word: Accept God's Timing

Announcements:

I am starting a Fantasy Basketball league. I got my ass handed to me in Fantasy Football. It will not happen with basketball. I WILL NOT LOSE!
I visited my bosses church this weekend. VERY entertaining I must say! There was a word but it was so brief and redundant, I won't even bother. I do plan on giving it another chance. It was their 12th anniversary. There was a lot of self promoting and not much of anything else. We'll see if there's only one collection the next time

[UPDATE]: I lost in Fantasy Basketball. Moral of the story, Ain't nobody got time fo' dat! Bosses church was equally full of shit on regular Sundays...



And with that said...
My sister sent this to me and since it 1. wasn't a chain letter and 2. (I means B) it was thoughtful, I'll share. Mostly I'm shocked it wasn't a chain. So read on. There are no threats on your life (sexual or otherwise):
ACCEPT GOD'S TIMING

God gives us hopes and dreams for certain things to happen in our lives, but He doesn't always allow us to see the exact timing of His plan. Although frustrating, not knowing the exact timing is often what keeps us in the program. There are times when we might give up if we knew how long it was going to take, but when we accept God's timing, we can learn to live in hope and enjoy our lives while God is working on our problems. We know that God's plan for our lives is good, and when we entrust ourselves to Him, we can experience total peace and happiness. The book of Genesis tells the story of Joseph, who waited many years for the fulfillment of the dream God had given him. He was falsely accused and imprisoned before the time came for him to do what God had shown him he was to do. Exodus 13:17,18 tells us that God led the Israelites the longer, harder way on their journey to the Promised Land because He knew they were not yet ready to go in. There had to be time for their training, and they had to go through some very trying situations. They wasted a lot of time wondering about God's timing, but God never failed to take care of them and show them what He wanted them to do. The same is true in our lives. God's training period simply requires us to do what He tells us to do when He tells us to do it...without questioning or trying to figure everything out.
FROM SEEDTIME TO HARVEST

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us: To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. This lets us know that we all don't live in the same season at the same time. You should never be jealous of someone who is enjoying harvest while you're still in the planting season. Remember, they had to go through a season of planting just as you are. Seeing the results they are enjoying should be an encouragement to you. Understand and trust that God is doing the very best for you in your present season. Seedtime represents learning the will of God. If you want to be victorious, you cannot afford to get pulled into the world's system, doing what you feel like doing. James 1:21 tells us what we should do: ...get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls.


That was profoundly put...wow..

GOD Laid This BS On My Heart

This trailer is about the NEW NEW Denzel Movie. This one is hot like ROSEWOOD at the end! Check it out. CHRISTMAS '07!!!



And now our feature presentation...
GOD LAID THIS ONE ON MY HEART

Well, maybe he did...

In preparation for my report on church tomorrow, (I'm going to a different Baptist Church. WELCOME TO ATLANTA!) this story is about my girlfriend's ex who is now apparently a stalker.

Tuesday, he keeps calling and texting while we're out to eat. He says he just has to share something because "GOD laid this on his heart". It got me to thinking: Do people come with that church angle just to save themselves from an ass whippin?

Whatever the origin of this ridiculous saying. Just add it to the ever growing list of Church People Cliches that make my ears (and heart: pun intended) hurt every time I hear them.

But seriously, SO MANY people see fit to blurt shit out that - "GOD laid on their hearts" lately. What about all the other people trying to lay shit on you? The devil can also LAY something on your heart. Is it GOD all the time?

BTW - The Ex was abusive and what God laid on his heart was for her to come back to him to continue being abused because God told him that but didn't motivate him to change his ways at all...

We gotta be careful. God may run up to you and punch you in the lip with something too! Or God might lay with your neighbor next door because no one answered when he came by your house. (WHAT WERE YOU UP TO?) God may lay something in your bed. The devil is subtle and God is mysterious. So either way, you are not meant to know what's going on all the time. You better WATCH!

Let go, let God and watch your ass because the devil waiting to catch you slippin!


I'm feeling the last line. Ain't nothing BUT the truth!

What I Learned In Church

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

I went to a Baptist church this weekend. With all the investigations and allegations about Mega-Churches going on, I didn't know what to expect. I actually thought I would get some fuel for my blog on Mega-Churches (it's coming, You know I have to do it). To the contrary, I was pleasantly surprised. No one even mentioned money. No metal detectors (You know, to keep the change out). Not a dramatic amount of hoopin/whoopin and hollerin. Just plain ol' church. A great choir and a good word.

This sermon was the middle of a series on Extraordinary living. I can't say enough how impressed I was. (I ain't leavin my church, but it was good.) The pastor was more than charismatic. He was a word-smith of the utmost degree. He essentially broke down being Christian. If you believe in God, we all strive to be as much like Christ as possible. That is our mission. It's not easy, by any means. But knowing is half the battle.

All of us who call ourselves "Christian" know it is a struggle. The struggle is between the Extraordinary(Christian) life we lead and the ordinary(the rest of the world). We battle ourselves because we know Christ and the journey of being Christian is the foundation. And that foundation is indispensable. EVERYTHING ELSE is dispensable. But we make EVERYTHING ELSE the center and lose focus on the foundation. A house without a foundation is called a Shack or a Shanty. I've lived some places, in some circumstances but I would never and will never EVER call a Shack or a Shanty my home. But that IS how we live.

We make EVERYTHING ELSE the center of our life because we just can't live without… And I'm not talking about bad stuff like drugs, alcohol, strippers, Maury Povich or Lifetime(really what's up Lifetime?). I'm talking about good things. Children, spouses, careers (not jobs), houses, STUFF, money, family, community, church are all blessings. But the blessings are not the center. They are not the foundation. These are all things Christ and his disciples walked away from with out a thought. Not that we all should. But, in our journey to be Christian, how many would? And be honest with yourself. (Really, What's the deal with Lifetime?) I'm at one extreme where I long to be left alone sometimes. At the other are A LOT of people I know who at least have to be on the phone with someone if they are alone for even a minute. Not that you have to be like me but can you for one day?

Extraordinary life is eternal life. And eternal life is what we all seek. So why are we even bothering with the ordinary? In collections/sales/pimping/drug dealing, we called it being hooked. It's when you get caught up in the story either you or the other person is selling and forget what you are selling. You forget your purpose in life and lose. Once you get hooked, the other person's agenda becomes the center. And, good or bad, no one (NO ONE) is on the same path or focus you are. (Married people stop your brains. Just shut it up for a minute.) NO ONE! And NO THING will get you where you want to be. Why? Because you can't take it with you. NONE OF IT!

You may as well be ready to give it away at any moment. In actuality, giving is Christian. It is the essence of sacrifice. But don't go not paying your bills because you gave it all in church. Be honest about what you have to give. Money ain't always all we have to give. (Kudos to Elizabeth Baptist for not being THAT church.) For most of us, it never will be. Be honest with yourself so you can truly keep it real. Remember your foundation and give your self. If you don't know who you are…Good luck with that shit. That's another blog.









You are slooowly on your way to having your own church Bishop Sloan. Welcome to the we don't take checks leave your bank statements at the altar evangelistic holiness hold my mule who in the hell left the gate open municipal principality church of the living repenters of naked dickiness

LMAO! I concede. This blog was fire. :-)!

THAT'S RIGHT!!! NAKED DICKERS REPENT!!!

good reading...

The Week In Review

Since I haven't been able to make church these past few weeks (due to sinning[lots and lots of sinning]NOT REALLY but probably), let's see if I can't get some clarity with a little reflection. In my church, after communion, we kneel to pray. This prayer more reflection time. I usually go over my week and thank God for stopping me from slapping the shit out of people I've come into contact with.

So let's pray:
Lord, thank you. Thank you for giving me patience when customers call to see if the car lot they just drove by has any cars for sale. Help me stay strong when everyone around me keeps asking me to lie. (You know - Am I getting on your nerves? Sale this car. Does this car run good? At $700? This 2002? Absolutely!)
Please Lord, look out for my people. Help me find a way to convince my cousin to stop lying on his dick about ugly women. Forgive all the nakeddickers (8/25 Word of the day 2) who just couldn't sit they triflin asses at home on Black Out Friday. Forgive "The Dog", he didn't mean nigger in a bad way. Plus, he doesn't even know Al Sharpton and he never knew we now say "nakeddicker" instead. If anything, forgive his nakeddickedness. Maybe, I'll forgive him for not reading my blogs.
Bless Denzel and his new movie. I know so many people couldn't wait to watch the bootleg. I hope they were as eager to pay $10 (or more) to see it in the theater. Bless T.I. when he goes back to prison. He's a cute little guy. He may need your help. Bless Oprah. She didn't know women could be pedophiles and on the down low too.
As always, bless the children. Just because they come from retardation and nakeddickin' they don't have to be doomed to the same.

(Meditation...)





In Jesus' name.....














SLAP!!!!!!

LMFAO, you are hilarious, I love it!!!!!!!

So I've heard its best to pray "Lord have your will" than to request "specific blessings" because it minimizes our disappointments when our prayers aren't answered in in what we'd consider a timely fashion or according to our liking. And often times, what we pray for may not be in our best interest or the better interest of whom we've asked God to bless. Perhaps God has already blessed Oprah, The Dog, T.I., Denzel (and dare I include the NAKEDDICKERS too) with the very same "issues" you've requested their deliverance from... we're all in need of the occasional reality-checks to keep us real with God!


Thanks for the blog invite... I've enjoyed this mini trip into your would of thoughts... and am looking forward to reading more. Peace out!

What's a Nakeddicker? =)

LMAO!!!