Gaydar

[When I say gay, I don't mean it in a good way. I mean it in the most Eminem, South Park, Boondocks way I can!]

Jacquelyn NeCole asked the question - *Question to the fellas* Does a straight man hang with gay/bi-sexual guys? If they do does that make them suspect... hmmm?

I knew immediately what she wanted. She wanted another way to detect homosexuality in a man. This Down Low shit has a ton of women AND men nervous. The Gaydar is up all over the world.

The Down Low is the epitome of sexual dishonesty AKA Lying-On-Your-Dick/Pussy. With the prevalence of STDs, the most dangerous of them being “Butt-Juice-Pussy”, people need full disclosure when it comes to sex and being safe. There is no room for confusion or flat out lying. Sex without trust is so horrible; I would just rather not have sex. And I like sex. I like it A LOT. A LOT.

A WHOLE LOT!!!

But,

I am deathly afraid of Butt-Juice-Pussies! But-Juice-Pussy (BJP) is a condition that occurs when a woman dates a Down Low man inside a committed relationship or inside any relationship where Naked-Dicking occurs. Naked Dicking is already dangerous. But add secret sex to the mix and we are talking about juggling grenades with no pins in them.

With all of this in mind, it is VITAL that women and men, straight or gay, be able to spot liars in their midst. I wish I knew EVERY sure sign that a man is on the Down Low. I would tell. I would spend my last dollar publishing and distributing the book along with a list of notable Down Low men, for free! Honest people deserve to know when they are being tricked.

According to Sanyika – “You live in Atlanta, everybody is gay!” But this is not about judging people. I don’t judge. I really could care less about what anyone does in his or her bedroom. This is about keeping honest men and women safe from the dishonest.


So here’s what I know. Maybe it will help women and men remain safe in their relationships and avoid any BJP. (Of course, that’s assuming they don’t want any BJP!)

The gay friends I have are all out of the closet. I don’t like to talk about sex with anyone. I was raised to believe that those who talk about it aren’t doing it. So, like ALL of my friends, I’m a friend with gay people not because of whom they sleep with. Personally, some of the dating choices my straight friends make are pretty disgusting. SICK! (That’s a whole other blog.)


If any one of my “straight” friends turned out to be gay, I would have an issue. The issue wouldn’t be their sexuality but the dishonesty. I have stopped being cool and/or trusting a lot of friends for lying on their dicks. If we are friends, the foundation of that is trust. If I can’t trust you, we can’t be friends.


I do suspect a few acquaintances. The fact is the down low is real. Statistically speaking, with all the people I know, a few of those people are in the closet. The truth is, most of the people I suspect would surprise the HELL out of most females.


It is YOU! That’s right. You are reading this and wondering if I know. I DO! See! You just proved it. SMH. So sad. Just give it up. Come out the closet now and no one will get hurt. The longer you drag this out, the worse it will be when I finally REALLY put you on blast.


I have proof. It’s just not time yet to put people on blast.



You probably have BJP. I just chose not to tell you because you got on my nerves today. Good luck with that shit. (And there actually is fecal matter in your P. SMH)


I’ve been to a gay club. In fact, you DO have BJP! Your dude was there. WITH A MAN!


I don’t fuck for an audience. I don’t lie on my dick. I don’t talk about my dick. I don’t take pictures of my dick. I believe anyone who does is not just suspect. Niggah you gay!


Secret anything between couples is suspect. Friends you’ve never met, a secret family, a secret job, secret habits, secret anything is SO VERY suspect.


Machismo is suspect, especially around other men. The louder you are about homophobia, your dick, or sex in general; the more suspect you are. Why do I give a shit about any of that? I’m not going gay bashing with you. That shit is a terrorist act. I have absolutely no interest in the horrible looking women you choose to sleep with. I don’t want to watch porn with you because there are no women around. NO WOMEN = Niggah…You…Gay!


To answer Jacquelyn’s question directly, being suspect is not about being cool with gay/bisexual people. It’s suspect if dudes are too cool with other dudes. I know men who have fraternal ties with other men. They are supposed to be really close. They aren’t overly close though. Suspect dudes have “best friends” who are as close as girls are. Men don’t change clothes around each other. The one exception is a sports locker room. (Not the LA Fitness locker room! SMH) Real sports. Professional sports. Men don’t hold hands or get drunk and sleep in the same bed. (Head to feet past 16 is not cool)




Please also understand that nothing is exact. Especially this. There are variables. For instance, in the South, men are more effeminate. That means women have to look past the superficial and find patterns. My views may also be slanted. I have a father and we get along quite well. So I don’t have a lack of male bonding to fill. So I am more hesitant to be up in any other man’s face no matter how well we get a long. But I also have sister who I am close to. So I’ve seen Grease a million and five times, and the Bodyguard, and Beaches, and Tommy. AND I actually like romantic comedies. Now if a man said that who didn’t have sisters or REALLY close female relatives, …SUSPECT.
The bottom line is - be careful. But don’t let stereotypes lead you. PLEASE don’t let your friends’ experiences affect your judgment. Let everything be what it is and see everything AS IT IS. You be upfront with your mate at all times. It’ll be hard for anyone to trick you if you are REALLY keeping in 100 (RAY J!)

Also, not reading the whole blog (I know it's long Sanyika!) is gay!