The Natural Man

26 Natural Man

            We are born to sin. It’s in our nature… Tell that shit to God.

(St. Peter with a trap door) – “We want you to talk to another one of our angels. Stand over that square over there please. Yes. Right there…”

            Something was a little off with dude. When I met him, he was cool. We spoke a little. He was into the Bible. He told me about the prayer circle. There was something else underneath, though. He was a little negative ALL the time. He was always crying about something. It took nearly a month for it to all come out but when it did, I finally got it.

            I keep my mouth shut to avoid arguments but I always side with the guards, no matter what. (In jail/prison, all inmates are supposed to be against the guards, no matter what.) This time in jail is our opportunity to develop habits which will make us better citizens when it’s time to go home. The guards take it upon themselves to instill discipline in addition to the routine. Each of us has a different idea about discipline. Why should I take their attempt at positivity personal? What better models for NOT going to jail do we have anyway?

            Dude took it personal.

I waited until the next time he did it to engage him. “He treat us like kids” We are kids. We are children of God in the developmental stage. And more to the point, our immaturity led us here. “I’m a grown ass man.” [If you must remind people… Obviously… No… No. SMH] This is his attempt at giving us the discipline we need.  Everyone in here, innocent or guilty, is in here because of lack of discipline. “We all sinners. He sin too.” But he’s disciplined enough to stay out of here and seek salvation elsewhere. We are all sinners but we don’t have to stay that way. “It’s in our nature to sin. We can’t shange.”

            Ah ha!

            So there it was. A natural man. A man driven purely by ego. That explains all the crying. The complaining. The self-absorbedness without self awareness. The self serving without self control. The over inflated sense of self with complete lack of self esteem.

            That is the Natural Man. The Natural Man is completely ego driven, utterly impulsive, very animalistic, often misled, totally insecure and vulnerable; and completely unaware of any of this. Eckhart Tolle in The New Earth and my friend Kobe actually sum it up succinctly.”The ego is a liar”

            Kobe actually called it the subconscious. The ego runs the subconscious. The ego does all the lying. As well, the ego does all the covering up for the lies and the ensuing shortcomings

            Contrary to popular opinion a large ego is not connected to a healthy or high self esteem. In fact, a large ego will kill self esteem and tell you everything is better than fine, it’s great! The ego’s main concern is comfort. View the natural reaction to change. The ego tells you to reject change. As far as growth, the ego will make some concessions to stimulate growth. SOME. In fact, the natural man never fully matures. He simply readjusts his comfort zones.

            The natural man is, in short, a big baby. He may pay bills. Maybe he goes to work. The natural man can seem normal. It is only when you get to motivations that the ego’s role become more apparent. In jail/prison, among a larger selection of unsophisticated individuals, the motivations are laid bare. Now it is easier to read and relate the behavior of the natural man. In sophisticated society, men and women can hide behind facades. There is not of that in jail/prison. Just ego, out in the open.

            Let me assuage the emotional, twitter readers. When I say inmates are very animalistic, that is to say their behavior is not very far evolved from animals. I am not referring to violence but more so to violent mood swings.

            Inmates prove the perfect specimen like a one celled amoeba or mendels flowers for genetic study. There are so few variables to consider. Assuming Darwin was right, welcome to the monkey house! There is some home training, but the priorities are low. Eat, sleep, shit, smoke and jack. Bathing is optional. Again it’s a comfort concession of the ego. Natural men who can’t smell themselves may be guilted into bathing but smoking, horseplay and talking shit take priority.

            Conversations are very telling. Lack of sophistication makes ego very apparent. No one asks for anything right out. The ego can’t stand rejection so every request is prefaced with another question. “Are you going to eat that?” Only when the reqest is certain to be granted will it be made outright. Even then, it may not be in the form of a question. “Let me get that”

            In here, we witness the irresponsible and irresponsive. Most inmates are innocent. The admittedly guilty (drug dealers/addicts) still place blame on others. “My dumb ass girl let the cops search the house.” “[insert any county/police organization] is fucked up. They be all smelling drugs and searching (finding two ounces sitting in the passenger seat like a person with the seatbelt on.) everything.” There is no forethought. Plans are always forgotten in favor of immediate gratification or dwelling on how fucked up the police are for fighting crime and criminal behavior. Reactions are immediate, universal and, of course, ego driven.

            Everything is personal. Since the ego is fragile, Natural Men are equally fragile. Every slight discomfort is an overt effort by “the cops”/deputies to hate. Some of my religious brothers call if The Devil. When the deputy takes away your contraband he’s hating, even though he previously explained he’s trying to teach you to follow the rules, even though he could have punished you severely. “That’s just the devil trying you.” Natural men don’t suffer as groups either. Dorm meetings are full of grumbles – “Why you telling me? Tell that/those niggahs.”

            Let me come back to the natural man statement – “It’s in our nature to sin. We can’t change that.” The Natural Man has the end all be all excuse. It would seem.

            So let’s look at the nature of sin

            In the beginning, there was no sin. There was only one rule in Eden. Don’t eat of the Tree of Good and Evil. Just like diplomatic immunity, being a citizen of one country you can’t be expected to be aware of the obscure law of another country. That, of course, is not a defense of crime anymore due to abuse of that loophole and treaties that followed. It just goes to show – you will be responsible for what you know and only for what you know. If you know nothing, you can be responsible for nothing.

            The knowledge of good and evil brought more than just that knowledge. It brought the responsibility for that knowledge. Knowledge of good and evil and the ensuing responsibility are both a gift and a curse. The curse was obvious. Sin, and it’s consequence, was introduced to the world. Adam and Eve were kicked out of Eden and sorrow and pain were introduced to man’s existence.

            For most people the story ends there, with the curse. And Natural men are the extreme of this paradigm. But read it again. Knowledge of GOOD and evil. There’s a blessing in everything. If you can see that in jail, you can see it anywhere. I went inside those walls prepared to accept a punishment and walked out with a reward. The gift was knowledge, wisdom and understanding all of which we can use to choose between good and evil or right and wrong. We were already created with free will. Now we have the responsibility of making a choice. Knowledge of good and evil meant a choice between good and evil.

            Assuming we evolved from animals, the analogy still holds true. Not only did we develop arms legs and lungs but also intellect. We acquired knowledge. We began to think. We even think about thinking. As such, we still developed the knowledge of good and evil without the creation story. Therefore, evolution still develops for us a choice.

            That choice leads us to become the only animals blessed with the capability of changing our nature. We can be born and raised one way and ascend or descend to anything we choose. We can grow up believing one thing and come to believe the complete opposite or anywhere in between. A worker bee can never bee queen, likewise a queen cannot become a drone. But common man can become King and king can renounce/lose his throne and live a peasant’s life.

            At this stage of human development, it should be simple to change. Unfortunately change is up there higher than public speaking as fears go. The ego will fight hard, tooth and nail, for its comfort zones.  ‘Don’t move to a new town’ ‘You don’t know anyone there. Stay here’ ‘You’re too old to go back to school/to start over’ ‘You’ve been smoking too long to quit’ ‘Withdrawal is painful’ ‘I’m too young to  be married’ ‘Marriage is hard’

            The Natural man calls it staying happy and free. The prototypes are The Nature Boy Ric Flair, Hugh Hefner, Frank Sinatra, The Playboys… He develops a lifestyle that doesn’t promote any growth but is completely comfortable. No matter how macho a natural man comes off, his ego is deeply afraid. Change is coming and it will ruin ego’s pre-established comfort patterns. The natural man is completely unaware all this is going on. He is proud to have a huge ego. It’s warm and cuddly like the womb.

            Without presence of mind we are ruled by our natures aka ego. Knowledge of self kills ego. Hidden within ourselves are hopes and dreams and aspirations. Hidden deep down is change and growth. Not only perspective but a complete paradigm shift comes from listening to something other than ego. Freedom and happiness take on new meaning.

            Presence of mind makes us responsive instead of reactive. We can begin to consider some of the dumbness that comes out of our mouths. “That’s just how I feel.” “I can’t change.” “That’s just me.” We question our motivations. Eventually, we can catch stupidness before it leaves our mouths.

            Truly responsive men will replace ‘grown ass’ natural men. These new men will realize being born into sin only means there is an option. Responsible individuals can choose not to sin. We are born into sin. It’s in our nature. The natural man can tell that shit to God.

            I can envision St. Peter standing at the gates – “Oh really? Born sinning? In your nature? Why don’t you talk to another one of our angels? Just wait over there over that square…” (Trapdoor Sounds)

Natural Men, you’ve been warned…

Good luck with that shit!

            Natural men are the extreme. I only use them to explain behavior that is apparent in ALL of us. After I get rid of the natural men, I’m coming after the rest of you. We must put aside our egos completely if we want to evolve into our better selves. Egos will and must be eradicated in order for our world to not only survive but flourish.

           

            Remember you have a choice, always! And don’t despair if you make the wrong one. By the grace of God and the power of choice, you’ll get another chance. Keep choosing!