Player Shit

Current mood: tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

A friend told me the other day that some of my poetry had a player feel to it. It was something that I never noticed. And today, I'm writing my final few poems and I realize she was right. I don't have any game in real life. But some of my poetry does have smooth flow to it. I have always denied the playerness because I fancy myself a different type of guy.

So what's the difference? Try these out and then I'll tell you the difference.

Love (1993)

If I'm in Los Angeles
And you're so far away
How is it I can feel your kiss
Each and every day?

How can you love someone
If they're never there?
How do you know there's only one?
If you both still care

What is the one time you felt her warmth?
Was when the romance began
Can you still hold her in your arms?
I believe you can

We shall meet again - I hope its true
But if we never…
… I'll always love you



(Untitled)

Let's do something
Let's explore something new
The closer I get to the fun thing
The more I get to know you
I don't know if I love you
But I know I can
I don't know if you want to
But I'll be your man
Just grab my hand
Then look into my eyes
Tell me we can do it again
Just you and I for both our lives

Every day with you is a brand new day
Each day we fall in love a brand new way

(Untitled)
I wrote my heart for you
And hoped the dreams would come true

Then long after number three, I came to see
That some dreams won't come true for you or me

So I'm finna give up hope and cope
Cause to be honest you ain't that dope

Not necessarily that you lack the looks
But it takes somewhat more than looks to keep me hooked

Looks don't comfort me from far away
They don't stay with me on lonely days

It's the words that make me sure I'm sure
And I'm sure your words ain't actually that mature

When you're here though, it's the look in your eyes
And the look of your eyes show me the lies

Don't think you can hide it in your voice
Cause this nigga don't buy shit like twelve year old boys

Maybe in your hips but not in your lips
You can't hide shit if your ass can't kiss

So now I ask why, why this lie
I already know you're not my type



The difference is simple. I write, I don't say. If you read through all my poems, I'm careful about the use of the word love. Love is both final and eternal for me. I'll always write love poems because love never dies. But I have rarely ever experienced that romantic love. I will always seek it never the less.

I'm even more careful in my interactions. It may seem like disinterest or some kind of game, but it is certainly neither. I have to be sure. Being a child of divorce, I fear putting any child through that. It's not an impossible situation, but its not easy. When I meet a woman, I always look all the way down the line, even if I'm only dealing with a one night stand. Not that I have many of those. It's never that pressing. I can wait.

Because of that. I don't sell dreams. I don't make promises I can't keep. I probably would have had a lot more sex if I did. (A LOT) But I don't so I didn't. I'm eternally open to change but that's one thing that never will. I refuse to compromise also. I want all or nothing. And I've accepted and have become comfortable with the possibility of nothing.

I just hope not too comfortable.






I think a lot of your poems sound like they are speaking from fear of being hurt. Maybe this is not the case, but it's the vibe I get. Poetry is an art form, and art imitates life, which in turn imitates art. The same is true for me, as I am most inspired to write when I am lonely, hurt, or afraid. Perhaps if you are using your poetry as an outlet to express your inner emotions, others may not always fully understand. What is most important is that you are true to yourself. We will all post comments telling you what we like and dislike, and although I am a fan, I will not (and do not) like everything you write, but my opinion doesn't really matter because I am not you and your art is a reflection of you, the artist. So just keep writing what you feel. Maybe when you find that one true deeply romantic love that takes you to another world, you will look back over your work and find that it no longer has a "player" feel. Your poetry will reflect what you feel inside...


Fear of being hurt. I think you have it. But also, I want to express a desire to not hurt. That's the anti-player. I don't know how often that comes across.


I disagree with the friend who feels that "player" vibe in your poetry (and by extension, you if you agree with that friend). I also enjoyed these untitled additions.


Its good to know I had skills all the way back then.