The Naked Dick Chronicles

Current mood: loved
Category: Romance and Relationships

Michael Baisden, Dr. Eric Michael Dyson, and Rev. Al Sharpton (or the lady who filled in for him) all talked about being single, dating outside your race, and the pressure of Valentines day. People gave all kinds of reasons why there was pressure to get married, date inside or out of the race and/or get a date for Valentines day. Everything from Willie Lynch (no really-Willie Lynch) to OJ (not really) to "over-education" to standards too high or too low. Over nine hours, only one person mentioned probably the most important quality in looking for a mate. Patience…
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Why can't we wait? Naked dickers can't wait for rubbers. Serial daters can't wait for that right person. And we all end up hopping from person to person. Hoping, longing for someone, anyone. But we can't wait for THE one.

Do we really believe that it'll be that easy to find one person in 300,000,000 people in this country and 6 billion in this world? Do I need to add settling as an addictive behavior? Maybe we need a rehab for settlers. If the world was filled with more patient people, many of us wouldn't be here. I'd be willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of us all getting it right. (Yes, that's right. As a child of divorce I too am the result of two impatient naked dickers) It's rampant people!

70% of African American women have children out of wedlock. 50% of African Americans have herpes.

People.

There is just too much naked-dickin going on! Are you that pressed? I know its good. And yes, it definitely feels better. But where is the self control? Where is the vision? Or better yet, where is the commitment to our own dreams? Are we supposed to accept this as unchanging fact?

Sex is like any other vice. Like gambling, certain lesser drugs, drinking or whatever you may be into, it's not for everyone. Some people don't have the self control to to participate in these acts. Gambling addicts don't gamble, drug addicts and alcoholics admit they are powerless and struggle to quit. Some do it by choice. Some are court ordered. Naked dickin should be considered in the same breath as gambling addicts, alcoholics and druggies. Perhaps, we should court order the naked dickers to enter sex rehab. Admit they have no control over the pussy or dick. Submit to the higher power (Wilt Chamberlain) And quit having sex.

Naked dickin is for married people. Like Casinos are for old people. (Vegas is for the young and rich but all the rest goes to the retired.) Like drinking is for the grown and sexy.

I sense as you all are reading this, there is someone out there who feels like this is them. If you feel like this is you. You feel like a rampant naked dicker. It's not too late! Submit yourself. Come to the front of the church. The ministers will lay hands on you and pray for your privates. Be born again in the Magnum spirit. Wilt Chamberlain is looking down on you and he wants to heal your privates. Come on down and join us!

Let us pray…

Deep, I enjoyed reading it.

Peace

Brother you are so deep. Keep writing and expressing......

Very nice...I've seen way too many of my friends drop out of school because of this naked dicking and it needs to stop NOW....i have noone to party with because everyone is taking care of babies now UUUUUUUUUUUGHH!!! lol

You know you can roll with your boy. I'm getting a crew of the safety latex lovers together so we can get out party on in safety. Free from the threat of the naked dick.

On point!!! But while you mentioned African American women who have been infected by herpes, you neglected to mention that they are also the fastest growing population now being infected with the HIV/AIDS virus.

Yeah! You're right but a lot of people now about that. I was so shocked to hear about the herpes numbers. It's ridiculous!

By the way, I missed your comments. Glad you dug this one.


Good thoughts.... and I was all ready to come down to the front of the church until you said the preacher was gonna pray for my privates. LOL. But really, this is so true and even with all the risks we still take sex so lightly.

nice baby :)

Wow!!!! This was very interesting to read and it was very true!!!!!

Word(s) of The Day: RIP Niggahs (RePost)

This is a re-post, re-post. I ended up not completing my new blog and SO many new people want to know what Naked Dickin is. So here it is. AGAIN (I'm Still breaking from writing)

So how many people knew August 22, 2007 was the nationwide memorial for the"N" word?...


I thought so.I honor of August 22, 2007. And as retribution for my incessant use of the "N" word. I have two new Words Of The Day.

Word Of The Day 1

Dick-Control

Dick-Control is easy to explain. It only has about three percent to do with sex. Dick-Control (which can also be called Pussy-Control for the P.C.[but fuck Pussies!]) is all about self control. The sexual reference explains it all and it stops there and continues in your everyday life. Sexually, it takes practice and patience to truly have dick-control. In life, it takes the same. Unfortunately, many people try to have dick control in bed and never apply the same principles in life. The result is a truly tumultuous life. In niggah talk, we runnin around with big dicks and cain't fuck.

I noticed the parallel after listening to a slew of niggahs talking about fucking all the time. But not really having any control over the important aspects of their lives. When I really listened though, I noticed these dudes didn't actually have any dick control. I mean, at no time talking with these guys do they ever seem in control. The option of not fucking is not available for them. Standards do not exist. They live by no rules or codes. It was then I realized what Dick-Control really was. Think about people we view as non-sexual who are extremely successful. We may say - Fuck that! I got to get mine. But is that (Sex, morons) what we really want. How often do you put your goals on hold for temporary pleasures? The answer to that is what Dick-Control is all about.Practice tantra. Learn your self. Become master of your domain. And lead your life in the direction YOU choose. Good luck bitches!



Word Of The Day 2

Naked-Dickers

This is the new "N" word. Since, as I've noticed these past few days, niggahs have not gone away at all. To the contrary, niggahs are thriving. Someone is seeing fit actually give niggahs money and put them on pedestals (slave blocks) as role models for the youth. It is to the point where niggahs and niggardom is going beyond race, region, sexual orientation, religion, and even class. So we still need a word to verbalize the existence (most time in frustration) of these collective low lifes. That word is Naked-Dicker.

A naked-dicker is derivative of the verb Naked-Dickin which is the act of having sex with a bare dick and pussy. Naked-Dickin is practiced exclusively by unmarried couples (or married people having sex with people they are not married too[sinners]). You can be a naked-dicker by naked-dickin but just like niggardom, naked-dickers have grown to include virgins, sexual and non-sexual people as well as already being spread across classes, races and social standings. Naked-Dickers are modern day niggers.

Just like niggahs, their attitude and behavior show no class, no restraint, no responsibility, no childcare, no planning, and most importantly, no rubbers. Since the entertainment industry, drug trade, real estate and McDonald's are making niggahs rich, we wonder who it is draining our tax dollars, besides George Bush. It is naked-dickers.

Naked-Dickers have kids they can't afford, call them miracles and ask us to support their unplanned families. Or they expect to be rewarded for taking care of responsibilities they bring upon themselves. Let's give Johnny a paid vacation (although he is constantly late to work after just starting two days ago) because he is struggling to take care of the three kids and five babie's-mamas (and doing a mediocre job at that). Yay for Johnny! He's an OK baby-daddy! Let's have a parade for OK baby-daddies! And let's give Tasha a pardon for stealing diapers for her six kids who are all the same age and have (According to Maury Povich) 14 fathers. While we're at it lets give her hella food stamps and a gang of money.

Today, naked-dickers are taking it so far beyond the kids! Naked-Dickers are not responsible for anything they do. If they didn't go to school and do their homework the way they should, who are you to give them a hard time for not being able to read. How dare you be afraid to hire a felon! He/she wouldn't have a record if it wasn't for snitches. Speaking of which, Naked-Dickers are behind that ridiculous Stop-Snitching campaign as well as all those dumb-assed T-shirts that announce proudly - I sell drugs.


Sound's like niggahs to me! So there you have it. Naked-Dickers in all there pitiful splendor.

mmmmm, no comments; maybe this was a little too deep for some, maybe it hit home for some.

I know huh!

lol Naked Dickers????? I do agree with the dick-control chapter.

JR

Somebody email Webster....

Wow! Ok so what is a Naked Dicker again??? lol

per your definition, married people having sex with people they are not married to would be classified as sinners... so naked-dicking is not sinning by your definition? just trying to get your facts straight. -B

Married people are not included in the equation at all. Amongst unmarried people, the sin is in the naked-dickin. As seed is being spilt the during the entire session of intercourse (Not just the end) naked dicking is causing you to spill seed in a woman who is not your wife or (maybe most important) not meant to be your wife.

Ive got the perfect one that they have put on the slave blocks as role models for our youth:

The picture Mike is trying to post is PLIES. I am falling out my chair laughing at the "Goon Prince of Naked-Dickers"


Damn my nigga! That changes EVERYTHING! Gotta start putting out now. Damn near most bitches aint even worth it anyway!

Word Of The Day

Current mood: bouncy
Category: Life

Naked Dickin

The word is quite literal. It refers to having sex without any form of birth control. The dick is naked people! Hence, the term Naked Dickin. I can (AND WILL) go on and on about Naked Dickers. (People who recklessly have Naked Dick sex) That's another time and another word.

Talking about naked dickin... it's a shame we have to live in fear of disease! All dicks should be able to be naked. lmao...

OH NO! That's nuckin Futs!

But I do get the sentiment and agree probably on a completely different level.

Word Of The Day (Re-Run)

Current mood: touched
Category: Life

Two words! One Day! (I promise I'm still writing productive things- MOM)
This word is one you already know. It's just one of my favorites


Retarded

Did you know it's OK to say retarded when referring to a person of limited mental abilities? It's also OK to call someone retarded (even to their face!). You can be extra P.C. and add mentally to the front if you like.

It's not OK to say Retard or Tard. As is - Hey Retard! Or - I looked like a tard in that picture. Bad form guys. Poor form.

But think. Being retarded is one of the few things a person will always admit to if he really is in fact retarded. Truly dumb people will never admit to being dumb. A real idiot will never call himself that. A retard will say he is retarded day in and day out.

Brilliant!

...or will he/she? Maybe there are retards trying to live like ordinary people...

Do retarded people actually know that they are? It's a word I find I don't use that often anymore. PC used to be "mentally challenged", but now is leaning more toward "developmentally delayed". We even ask patients if they have any developmental delays when admitting them to the hospital. The sad thing is, it's almost a mockery, cause if they had any delays they probably wouldn't be able to answer the question.



interesting. retarded means slow and there's no harm in being slow. u still get there.
but being stupid makes no damn sense! lol


EXACTLY!

Goals

Current mood:Inspired
Category: Writing and Poetry

I need M-O-N-E-Y
But why
Because I plan on having a family
I need an H-O-M-E
For me
And my family to live happily
I need a college degree
To succeed
Because it adds credibility
I'll own a C-L-U-B
or three
So I can retire early
I need to get an M.D.
PhD
Because I plan on doing some writing
So I need to plan my life
I need to find a wife
If I plan on doing these things by 43
So here's my plan
I think I can
Get a degree
While I find true love
Promote parties
Then buy a club
Teach High School
Get a PhD
Medical School
M.D. PhD
Buy a home
Write books by Dr. Sloan
Work from home
Help the Mrs raise junior Sloans
Show the world
How to get along
Write a song
Make my family
Grow
Be on TV
Show
Grace the movie
Screen
Improve my community
Write a couple of more songs
To complete a compilation
Have an heir as great as me
Create a dynasty
Only better
Leave a legacy
One that will live forever
From one man
Who had a plan
And knew
I can


club. yes. of course.
TV. ugh. a nastee necessity
a Ph. D is still a Dr. - u don't need no MD
Degree - essential.
Retire. Never.
Teach HS. cute. I'll b teachin at the University
"Show the world how 2 get along"
Baby, ur singing my song
Movie screen - only next to Fidel - the greatest.

xoxoxox

Yeah. I think I give up on the High School thing. I was going to do Teach America to erase my loans. I'm thinking college professor sounds better now. I want to be able to prescribe drugs. My family needs a hook up.

Great plan! Can't wait to help you write that book!

JR

We getting there brother!

Racism 101

Current mood: working
Category: Life

When I started UCLA, I was militant. So militant it was ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! I learned a lot of hatred from a radical group. They taught me to read the bible though. Too bad for them. That was my escape. I read well. I read between the lines and left the hatred. Reading is Fundamental. Thank you for reading.

So I grew out of it. I realized racism was just a trick to keep people poor. Everyone has dreams. Some people have vision. A few even have drive. But waaaay waaaay Less people actually achieve their ultimate level of success. Most quit or settle for far less.

Why?

Racism allows us to be victims. Even white men have a "good Reason" for accepting failure. It's reverse racism. It's the Million Man/Woman/Puerto Rican/Gay/Lesbian/Black Man/Black Woman/Promise Keepers(What-The-Who-The Fuck are these guys)/ I'm just not working this weekend so let's go to DC and complain about why I'm not rich - Marches that have no conclusion. (They all promised to find a solution. Now they won't answer the phone when I call.)

Well, Dick Gregory did, indirectly. I was reading a book about him and he offered this:
"I would say to young folks [I think that's us]: don't be in a state of denial about racism and sexism. But don't let it block you. Don't teach your children that you have to be twice as good as a white. That's an awful thing to teach a child. That's like saying, because you're black, white America has a right to change your dollar for 94 cents. We used to get 50 cents. Before that we got nothing. Young folks have to say, "We want a full dollar's change for a dollar, or this cash register will never ring again."


That's it! I had this blog unfinished until I read that. Dick Gregory is the man and we forget about him so often. We've learned to not only expect racism and/or sexism but to accept it. I say reject it when you see it. Be prepared but act in shock when it appears. Refuse it but realize that the person on the opposite side of your situation (if there is no specific person or situation, there is no racism) is suffering from the disease just as you are. Be the bigger person. Heal yourself. Then show the world how to do the same.


Amen. Well said.

"Reading is Fundamental. So remember to read." Ms Noble all the way! awesome principal!

Militant babes! I'm militant. Not as bad no more.

Dude - we DO have to be twice as good as friggin white folks!

All we have to do is stay who we are. We ARE twice as good when we are working at our full potential. The point of the statement is is to alleviate the stress that comes with thinking we have to be twice as good as white people. Today our only competition is with ourselves. The final frontier is erasing the stigmas we have embedded deep within our psyche.

Once we repair the damage done to our inner selves, the sky is the limit. Thinking things like that will not help us repair ourselves.

Finally!!!!! Which Dick Gregory book did you reference from?

JR

Nigger

(Refering to your last comment) True, true. In time we shall all heal internaly, but only if we try!

JR

Not even try.Just get our punk asses out of bed and do something to be proud of!

What I Learned In Church...Again!

Current mood: blessed
Category: Life

Anyone who's been with me since the beginning of the year, I apologize. I have been on vacation it feels like since my birthday. True, I have put out some popular blogs. But my purpose is more than that. I need to share what I learn with as many people as I can.

So before we have church, let me share a few things I have learned or am still learning since March:

Black vodka makes an excellent dirty martini, I have no idea how I used to mix it in 2002 but since I was in New Orleans it is safe to assume I drank it straight.

I can get fat. My horoscope says people born on my date will never have weight problems…bullshit! I cry "Shenanigans!" on horoscopes. They also tell me I'm going to get a ton of loving and I end up at home reading Indian erotica. So let me make my own fortune for the time being. And let me get my big ass back in the gym!

Mike was right. I am an asshole. Sometimes being nice is not what will help people. I want to be helpful more than I want to be nice, at times, more than I want to be liked. Like it would be nice if I could take all you to all the different churches and learning experiences I've been to and let you see what I have seen. But it doesn't work like that so I write and hopefully, my stream of thought comes across for the rest of you all to understand. Plus, I'm tired of yall embarrassing me at church. WAKE UP NIGGAH! DANG! Cain't take yall nowhere!

To emphasize this, the gospel [Matthew Chapter 15] we read was about Jesus not only ignoring and dismissing a woman he also called her a dog. Jesus called a female a dog. A female dog…

That wasn't the message on Sunday though. Father John wanted us all to be more welcoming of each other as church members. Be together! Church is a house of fellowship. Our missions may be individual but we are connected by a few common principles. Church is supposed to be where we celebrate that connection. And in the world, we can find a way to connect and communicate with our fellow human beings.

Even churches and churchgoers get caught up in the times. With so much reality TV going on, how many of us catch ourselves becoming fascinated with the lives of demons. We have to pay attention to ourselves when we fail to see the common themes in other human beings. People may be a different religion, race, income, intelligence, nationality, sex, age, political party, sexual orientation; drive a different car, live on the other side of town, go to different clubs, join different gangs. It's even so bad; drug users discriminate against other drug users!

It was predicted that Jesus would come and be refused. In Isaiah chapter 56 it was even foretold that strangers would be able to share the blessing of the chosen people. Since the Israelites rejected Jesus, salvation was offered to the rest of the world to make Israel jealous. So now, God is not local anymore. He's got worldwide distribution. He's bigger than the Internet! And sometimes you will be surprised who has a good word for you. The people who "should have" understood are not always the ones who do. Many are called...

Racism is not even the big thing now. There is too much separation at home, at work, at church, all over the world. Yeah, we are all different and we are all into different things but there will always be something in common with the person next to you. They are there with you. You may think your co-worker is retarded but guess what? Your dumb ass applied for the same job as the retard! Just be there as a coworker. Quit worrying how your neighbor rolls. You live in the same wack ass neighborhood! Mow his lawn if it bothers you that much. Other wise, shut your yap and live. If your apartment neighbor is jamming too loud, go party! Leave the lady in the express lane with 50 groceries alone! She can't count…NO WAIT! Forget that! Throw something at that damned lady! Don't worry about what kind of person is there with you. Just be happy that SOMEONE is there.

We are not alone. If we close our eyes and cover our ears sometimes, we can learn to just be. And then maybe we will learn to be with others.

All this week lets see if we can't learn to erase the separation within our own communities…

EXACTLY! And see I need to put aside my fear of bad food, or voodoo and focus on the greater good. All that matters is we are both hungry, YOU have food and you are sharing. Forget the negatives. Let's focus on the positives to acheive our common goals. And thank you for the food! I may be a little late and a lot drunk when I get there...



Preach, brotha preach! This is another reason why you need to watch American Zeitgeist!

JR

just wait until my diatribe on the latests violaters!



The King Kids

The more I read your blogs and of course some of the comments, the more that I learn about you. Interesting.......

I tell the people. If you wanna know me, it's all here!