Life is good. I'm sharing it with the world. So this is life the way I see it...
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Journal 8/2/15
Being in jail, hearing things like "You don't belong here" is not something everyone can handle. I have had to humble myself to be able to see what a blessing it is to have this strength, going where I "don't belong" and not only surviving but thriving.
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Journal 8/1/15
Peace can be found in the midst of all kinds of noise, confusion, drama and turmoil. I would have preferred to find it in other circumstances but it's more important that I found it. I'm grateful.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Far Sighted About Sin (What I Learned About Sin, Hyperopia and Religion/Spirituality)
Far sighted individuals can see things that are far away but need help to see the things right in front of their face. I am near sighted. I need help to see whats far away from me. Most people grow more far sighted as they age. That's why we see older people wearing bifocals. They started out near sighted and grew far sighted as they grew older. Hyperopia (Farsightedness) is becoming more common in younger and younger people. That is, more young people are having trouble seeing what right in front of their face
Sin has a multitude of definitions. I like to define it as anything that goes against your personal principles/what you say you believe in. Many people say they believe in the Bible in a literal sense, which has a llllooooonnnnggg list of principles and they sin by going against the simplest rules. In a non-religious sense, a person can sin by breaking a promise, even (and Especially) a promise made to their self. Someone who says they are all about the money but doesn't save or invest wisely, is sinning.
All of that is precursor to a brief Christian essay I read entitled Whose Mess? It talked about being Far Sighted About Sin. Specifically, the writer was cleaning up a public beach and complaining about whoever it was that left the trash in the sand. The essay referenced a story from Matthew 15 where the Pharisees were worried about the disciples washing their hands before eating. The famous quote from Jesus goes, "It's not what goes into our bodies that defiles us but what comes out." There's a deeper message there though. The Pharisees had dishonored other people's parents by insisting that they give 'The Church' its money instead of helping needy parents. As people still do, they got up in the traditions and forgot the principles that led to the traditions. It happens a lot. We start out on a journey to meet a principle and get distracted by the scenery so much that we soon forget where we were going.
And today, we live in a culture of distraction. Too many of us LOVE to watch other people's sins to make us feel better about our journey. We've even forgotten to check ourselves. Maybe we can't even see ourselves anymore because we've truly become far sighted. We have NO idea about what's gong on with us. But we know which reality star is going to jail this week... We know who shot who, who's lying, who's cheating, who's stealing... We wake up each day with 'SMH' copied so we can paste it all day as we read the news and/or comb through our friend's statuses... Those of us who are spiritual try to stop shaking our heads and now we post 'Praying For You...'... And now we wake up looking for someone to 'Pray For'... But when's the last time we checked our journey out?
Just like the Pharisees we got caught up with what's going on around us and neglected ourselves. What we say we believe in is the beginning of faith but our actions determine whether or not we still believe. Someone posted a FB status the other day about someone else posting bad news all day, everyday. There's a saying "Misery loves company." There's the tale of two wolves, one good/one evil where the one that lives is the one you feed. What are you feeding by feasting on the sins of other people each and every day? How do you expect your soul/spirit to grow strong off neglect and misery?
At some point we begin to internalize the sin of others. Perhaps we had some imperfections before we lost our focus on self improvement. Either way, or simultaneously, our paradigm will shift. Our actions will stop reflecting the priorities we claimed, if they ever did. The sin we drank of others and the neglect of our own souls will begin to come out of our pores through our actions. A little vanity here and there since we love to look at others and say "I'm not THAT bad..." There's nothing harder than self improvement when you are surrounded by poor behavior. There's little motivation to improve, if you seem to be doing the best among your peer group. Remember, the best house in a bad neighborhood is a bad investment.
No matter what we say we believe in, our challenge is to get better every day. When we become far sighted about sin, distracted by the sin of others, we cease to challenge ourselves. And we get away with it. We point to all the crap we see in the outside world and say, "See! At least I'm not like that." We don't discipline our children but at least we don't abuse them. Men talk down to the women in their lives but at least they don't beat them. Or they beat them and it's OK because we haven't killed them, yet. We don't step it up in church because the pastor is cheating on the first lady. Or, we don't go to church at all because we're better than those church people. Or we don't believe anymore because we're good people anyway. But eventually, instead of becoming better people, we become good enough people. Plus, those stupid Christians keep shooting up churches/bombing abortion clinics/hanging Black people/beating up gays/Muslims. We don't do any of that so...
If you want to be spiritual (no church, no organized religion) it is certainly possible to connect/commune with God and become a spirit, that is to become a better person. It is also highly unlikely. As often as followers of organized religion fail to it's less likely to happen than it would be if you chose to use an established framework. The key is to remember that it's just a framework. And all institutions have become corrupt. The solution is not to abandon everything but to build/rebuild better frameworks. If a church is corrupt, start a new one or fix the one you're in. There's no excuse to do nothing.
No matter what your paradigm is, a positive outlook requires you to be good and get better every day. If you aren't doing that, you're sinning. Even in organized religion, the listed of sins are just details of what a lack of growth looks like. We've become so focused ont he details that we forgot we were supposed to be growing. Be careful of becoming far sighted. Keep growing. Keep learning.
Sin has a multitude of definitions. I like to define it as anything that goes against your personal principles/what you say you believe in. Many people say they believe in the Bible in a literal sense, which has a llllooooonnnnggg list of principles and they sin by going against the simplest rules. In a non-religious sense, a person can sin by breaking a promise, even (and Especially) a promise made to their self. Someone who says they are all about the money but doesn't save or invest wisely, is sinning.
All of that is precursor to a brief Christian essay I read entitled Whose Mess? It talked about being Far Sighted About Sin. Specifically, the writer was cleaning up a public beach and complaining about whoever it was that left the trash in the sand. The essay referenced a story from Matthew 15 where the Pharisees were worried about the disciples washing their hands before eating. The famous quote from Jesus goes, "It's not what goes into our bodies that defiles us but what comes out." There's a deeper message there though. The Pharisees had dishonored other people's parents by insisting that they give 'The Church' its money instead of helping needy parents. As people still do, they got up in the traditions and forgot the principles that led to the traditions. It happens a lot. We start out on a journey to meet a principle and get distracted by the scenery so much that we soon forget where we were going.
And today, we live in a culture of distraction. Too many of us LOVE to watch other people's sins to make us feel better about our journey. We've even forgotten to check ourselves. Maybe we can't even see ourselves anymore because we've truly become far sighted. We have NO idea about what's gong on with us. But we know which reality star is going to jail this week... We know who shot who, who's lying, who's cheating, who's stealing... We wake up each day with 'SMH' copied so we can paste it all day as we read the news and/or comb through our friend's statuses... Those of us who are spiritual try to stop shaking our heads and now we post 'Praying For You...'... And now we wake up looking for someone to 'Pray For'... But when's the last time we checked our journey out?
Just like the Pharisees we got caught up with what's going on around us and neglected ourselves. What we say we believe in is the beginning of faith but our actions determine whether or not we still believe. Someone posted a FB status the other day about someone else posting bad news all day, everyday. There's a saying "Misery loves company." There's the tale of two wolves, one good/one evil where the one that lives is the one you feed. What are you feeding by feasting on the sins of other people each and every day? How do you expect your soul/spirit to grow strong off neglect and misery?
At some point we begin to internalize the sin of others. Perhaps we had some imperfections before we lost our focus on self improvement. Either way, or simultaneously, our paradigm will shift. Our actions will stop reflecting the priorities we claimed, if they ever did. The sin we drank of others and the neglect of our own souls will begin to come out of our pores through our actions. A little vanity here and there since we love to look at others and say "I'm not THAT bad..." There's nothing harder than self improvement when you are surrounded by poor behavior. There's little motivation to improve, if you seem to be doing the best among your peer group. Remember, the best house in a bad neighborhood is a bad investment.
No matter what we say we believe in, our challenge is to get better every day. When we become far sighted about sin, distracted by the sin of others, we cease to challenge ourselves. And we get away with it. We point to all the crap we see in the outside world and say, "See! At least I'm not like that." We don't discipline our children but at least we don't abuse them. Men talk down to the women in their lives but at least they don't beat them. Or they beat them and it's OK because we haven't killed them, yet. We don't step it up in church because the pastor is cheating on the first lady. Or, we don't go to church at all because we're better than those church people. Or we don't believe anymore because we're good people anyway. But eventually, instead of becoming better people, we become good enough people. Plus, those stupid Christians keep shooting up churches/bombing abortion clinics/hanging Black people/beating up gays/Muslims. We don't do any of that so...
If you want to be spiritual (no church, no organized religion) it is certainly possible to connect/commune with God and become a spirit, that is to become a better person. It is also highly unlikely. As often as followers of organized religion fail to it's less likely to happen than it would be if you chose to use an established framework. The key is to remember that it's just a framework. And all institutions have become corrupt. The solution is not to abandon everything but to build/rebuild better frameworks. If a church is corrupt, start a new one or fix the one you're in. There's no excuse to do nothing.
No matter what your paradigm is, a positive outlook requires you to be good and get better every day. If you aren't doing that, you're sinning. Even in organized religion, the listed of sins are just details of what a lack of growth looks like. We've become so focused ont he details that we forgot we were supposed to be growing. Be careful of becoming far sighted. Keep growing. Keep learning.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Ignore the Prophets, Lose the War
What a revelation!
An historical account of the gospels pointed out the political perspective of Israel at the time. For the Jews, salvation didn't mean spiritual freedom, it meant conquering Rome. They were looking for war. Historically, many of the prophets had actually participated in acts of war. Moses didn't fight but sent plagues on the Egyptians and tricked the army into drowning themselves in the Red Sea. Elisha and Elijah stood on battlefields and called to power of God to conquer enemies. The previous King of Kings, David, conquered armies 10 times the size of Israel.
Our tendency is to ignore prophecy because it doesn't fit into our limited worldview. And/or, we believe in something so strongly, we refuse to accept anything that may distract or deter our focus on what we believe. We don't believe in the same thing as the prophet or we don't believe in anything at all. What seems even worse than those two scenarios is when what we believe is only slightly different than the prophet believes. We are so distracted these days by minuscule details we will miss movements and opportunities just because of a minor detail.
And don't let the prophet may have some separate personal issues. We are so judgmental or seeking to avoid responsibility, we will jump all over a prophet with even the smallest personal flaw. And that's just it. The prophet usually calls us to action and responsibility. In this day and age, we are satisfied with passionate Tweets/Instagram messages/Facebook posts. We pat ourselves on the back vote voting every four years (even if/when we miss midterms). Don't let us have donated a few clothes/hours to the less fortunate! We don't have to do shit else. We can afford to ignore any and every other call to action that comes. We've done enough.
An historical account of the gospels pointed out the political perspective of Israel at the time. For the Jews, salvation didn't mean spiritual freedom, it meant conquering Rome. They were looking for war. Historically, many of the prophets had actually participated in acts of war. Moses didn't fight but sent plagues on the Egyptians and tricked the army into drowning themselves in the Red Sea. Elisha and Elijah stood on battlefields and called to power of God to conquer enemies. The previous King of Kings, David, conquered armies 10 times the size of Israel.
One prevalent and recurring theme in the Bible is, the prophets deliver God's promise and humans get it all the way wrong. Battle after battle was lost following the mob's ignorance of prophets' warnings. And it still happens today. Today we have prophets and those prophets get turned into soundbites. More immediately, it's more attractive to follow the reactionary/emotional responses. Then, manipulators can turn those sound bites into whatever they want the message to be instead of an unfiltered message.
These manipulators turned Martin Luther King Jr into a Civil Rights crusader. They turned Malcolm X into a mere rabble-rouser. These men were nothing less than prophets. They each took the information provided by their respective religions and saw the messages in between the lines. 50 years after their deaths, we have ignored their pleas. (Prophets tend to plea because they are well aware of our tendency to ignore them.)
And don't let the prophet may have some separate personal issues. We are so judgmental or seeking to avoid responsibility, we will jump all over a prophet with even the smallest personal flaw. And that's just it. The prophet usually calls us to action and responsibility. In this day and age, we are satisfied with passionate Tweets/Instagram messages/Facebook posts. We pat ourselves on the back vote voting every four years (even if/when we miss midterms). Don't let us have donated a few clothes/hours to the less fortunate! We don't have to do shit else. We can afford to ignore any and every other call to action that comes. We've done enough.
Except that, with each more gruesome incident, it's more and more apparent that we haven't done enough. We are inching closer and closer to the amount of pain which will force massive action. We must be careful to choose the proper action.
"Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil." -1 Thessalonians 5:20-22
We have to pay attention to the messages re are receiving. The proper path is out there. The prophets are still speaking. We must use ALL of our discernment to hear the message of the prophets. Prophets always offer solutions. Prophets will not make emotional pleas. (For the slow, they may speak passionately but emotion won't be the focus of their message.) Prophets are not profits. The message is always free. Prophets usually say things that are unpopular.
Be clear. A movement involves change. A revolution involves changes in a drastic way. The unpopular becomes popular. The abnormal becomes normal.
Start paying attention to the prophets and watch the world change for the better.
Be clear. A movement involves change. A revolution involves changes in a drastic way. The unpopular becomes popular. The abnormal becomes normal.
Start paying attention to the prophets and watch the world change for the better.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Raising The Level Of The Company You Keep
My facebook friend's list is extensive. There are very few 'friends' I haven't met in person. Oddly, I tend to run into those people after friending them on FB. It is truly collection of people I have met through my extensive travels.
In my younger days, I would have tried to hang with as many of those friends. As an adult, with a much stronger commitment to my priorities, I know that is not a great idea. Better than that, it's a horrible idea.
When I was younger I just liked the energy of being around different people. It didn't matter what kind of energy it was as long as I felt it. That has led me on an interesting journey. Today, I am more focused. The direction I head in is much more important. My 'friends' are all headed in a good direction. Everyone is not headed in MY direction. Even if you are on my level, or above, if you're not going my way, your energy could be a distraction to me. I have enough distractions.
Then there is the question of being on my level.
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. In organizations/groups/social circles the only way to be on the same level is to lower one's standards. We tend to get caught up in the big fish small pond scenario. We stand out when we hang out with smaller people. We forget that we are stuck in the small pond with big dreams. My realization came in the midst of being compared to someone I considered a low-life. I had been a genius among morons when I knew my genius is much greater than
that. I am a man among men. I stand out in any crowd. It's worth it for me to pursue crowds of higher standards since I know I will continue to stand out.
In real estate, a good buy is the worst house in a good neighborhood. Some of us make the bad buy of the best house in a bad neighborhood. In the good neighborhood, the property values will continue to rise in the short term. In the bad neighborhood, the values will drop and may never rise, even in the long term...
Check your neighborhood.
My journey has taken me to the lowest of lows. I thrived. I have thrived in the middle. As I continue my forward and upward momentum, I continue to thrive. However, my momentum has slowed as I have tried to raise up people around me at the expense of my own progress and at the expense of their progress as well. By not moving on, I was blocking the way for
people around me to follow my path.
To be specific, I fell for the "book smart vs street smart" bullshit so many people came up with when threatened by my intelligence. To put people at ease, I lowered myself. I even ventured out to become "street smart." At the end of That journey, being "street smart" is really dumb. Or, at least, the way I went about it was. Almost as dumb as joining a gang. I became affiliated with criminals.
It was when my affiliations with other intellectuals became threatened when I noticed that I had weakened myself to essentially fit in...
The worst part of lowering one's self is not the loss of identity or lack of growth. It's the cost to the community at large. In addition to losing friends/associations, my community lost a leader for great while. I see the effects of my disappearance all over. In my family, in the family I was meant to build. In my community. In my nation. In so many places I see the my world missing out on its potential because I have been missing out on mine. Even now that I am rebuilding so many pieces of my life, I still have so much more work to do because of the work I didn't do when I was being less than me.
And I see this all over in so many areas. The tendency is to lower one's self to match the company we have instead of finding new company. By halting our own growth we are validating the stagnation of the people around us. The saddest part is saying we believe in abundance and growth and not allowing our own self to grow. Our world won't grow if we don't.
So I commit myself to growth so whole hearted that many associations will pass away to make room for new company. I'll get out of my own way so that the people around me can grow on their own. Don't worry! I'll leave plenty of bread crumbs and detailed notes along the way.
I'm just going where I should be so that my family, my community, my nation and my country can go where they will be as well.
It's time to break some cycles...
In my younger days, I would have tried to hang with as many of those friends. As an adult, with a much stronger commitment to my priorities, I know that is not a great idea. Better than that, it's a horrible idea.
When I was younger I just liked the energy of being around different people. It didn't matter what kind of energy it was as long as I felt it. That has led me on an interesting journey. Today, I am more focused. The direction I head in is much more important. My 'friends' are all headed in a good direction. Everyone is not headed in MY direction. Even if you are on my level, or above, if you're not going my way, your energy could be a distraction to me. I have enough distractions.
Then there is the question of being on my level.
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. In organizations/groups/social circles the only way to be on the same level is to lower one's standards. We tend to get caught up in the big fish small pond scenario. We stand out when we hang out with smaller people. We forget that we are stuck in the small pond with big dreams. My realization came in the midst of being compared to someone I considered a low-life. I had been a genius among morons when I knew my genius is much greater than
that. I am a man among men. I stand out in any crowd. It's worth it for me to pursue crowds of higher standards since I know I will continue to stand out.
In real estate, a good buy is the worst house in a good neighborhood. Some of us make the bad buy of the best house in a bad neighborhood. In the good neighborhood, the property values will continue to rise in the short term. In the bad neighborhood, the values will drop and may never rise, even in the long term...
Check your neighborhood.
My journey has taken me to the lowest of lows. I thrived. I have thrived in the middle. As I continue my forward and upward momentum, I continue to thrive. However, my momentum has slowed as I have tried to raise up people around me at the expense of my own progress and at the expense of their progress as well. By not moving on, I was blocking the way for
people around me to follow my path.
To be specific, I fell for the "book smart vs street smart" bullshit so many people came up with when threatened by my intelligence. To put people at ease, I lowered myself. I even ventured out to become "street smart." At the end of That journey, being "street smart" is really dumb. Or, at least, the way I went about it was. Almost as dumb as joining a gang. I became affiliated with criminals.
It was when my affiliations with other intellectuals became threatened when I noticed that I had weakened myself to essentially fit in...
The worst part of lowering one's self is not the loss of identity or lack of growth. It's the cost to the community at large. In addition to losing friends/associations, my community lost a leader for great while. I see the effects of my disappearance all over. In my family, in the family I was meant to build. In my community. In my nation. In so many places I see the my world missing out on its potential because I have been missing out on mine. Even now that I am rebuilding so many pieces of my life, I still have so much more work to do because of the work I didn't do when I was being less than me.
And I see this all over in so many areas. The tendency is to lower one's self to match the company we have instead of finding new company. By halting our own growth we are validating the stagnation of the people around us. The saddest part is saying we believe in abundance and growth and not allowing our own self to grow. Our world won't grow if we don't.
So I commit myself to growth so whole hearted that many associations will pass away to make room for new company. I'll get out of my own way so that the people around me can grow on their own. Don't worry! I'll leave plenty of bread crumbs and detailed notes along the way.
I'm just going where I should be so that my family, my community, my nation and my country can go where they will be as well.
It's time to break some cycles...
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Leave Marshawn Lynch Alone!!!
Most days I marvel at how far I've come at remaining calm and positive. Except...
...when I'm driving. When I'm driving in LA, I just want to run some of these drivers off the road. I'm fresh in the door from once again contemplating ways to get away with performing the PIT move on a car while doing 70 in the fast lane. LA has some of the most selfish drivers in the city. These drivers want to go 45 in the fast lane because they're text messaging and driving until you pass (or attempt to pass) them. Once that happens, they think it's Fast and Furious and their Toyota Prius is now a 10 second drift car. (Woosah!!!) That was my rant.
This week was pretty good.
I went to the Valley to help Matthew find an apartment. It wasn't that bad. The Valley is still a pit of despair but I had a good time. AND I escaped. I got to golf and eat good food. And I finally got a wheel alignment!
Je parle francais tres bien!
I love my French teacher. She's my type of hippie. She drinks wine and lusts after MUCH younger men. She's into participation and pronounciation. And because I keep getting As on the tests, I'm excused from doing homework. My type of hippie. As opposed to the ones that smell bad and try to force their beliefs on everyone else. Tres mauvais!
Which brings us to Marshawn Lynch. I don't watch post-game interviews. However, I get to see the highlights online and/or via social media. When I first saw Marshawn Lynch refusing to talk, I thought it was amusing. By this year's Super Bowl, I'm tired of it. Not tired at all of him. I'm tired of the NFL and the press even bothering to try.
And then I found out the NFL is making him speak. WHY???
There are 56 players on an NFL team. That's 111 OTHER players to talk to other than Marshawn Lynch. Hell, that's about 44 starters. Everyone is not out going. Why worry about 1 man when you have TWENTY TWO starters to choose from on each team? WTF
Marshawn Lynch is not an asshole. He's articulate. He has a good sense of humor. And, most important, he gives back to his community. He has a REAL charity. Not a tax write off like most people. Let him give what he gives in his own way. Fam 1st is much more valuable than any soundbite.
I hope this is not a Craig Hodges situation. The difference might be Lynch's value to the Seahawks. In general, NFL running backs are becoming expendable. Marshawn Lynch is not the typical NFL running back. Beast Mode is real. Marshawn Lynch is ALL the running backs Seattle will need win the Super Bowl. (Prediction!)
But then again, there are 55 other players on the Seahawks and Lynch is only one man. One man who means a whole lot to his community...
So please NFL! Leave Marshawn Lynch alone.
...when I'm driving. When I'm driving in LA, I just want to run some of these drivers off the road. I'm fresh in the door from once again contemplating ways to get away with performing the PIT move on a car while doing 70 in the fast lane. LA has some of the most selfish drivers in the city. These drivers want to go 45 in the fast lane because they're text messaging and driving until you pass (or attempt to pass) them. Once that happens, they think it's Fast and Furious and their Toyota Prius is now a 10 second drift car. (Woosah!!!) That was my rant.
This week was pretty good.
I went to the Valley to help Matthew find an apartment. It wasn't that bad. The Valley is still a pit of despair but I had a good time. AND I escaped. I got to golf and eat good food. And I finally got a wheel alignment!
Je parle francais tres bien!
I love my French teacher. She's my type of hippie. She drinks wine and lusts after MUCH younger men. She's into participation and pronounciation. And because I keep getting As on the tests, I'm excused from doing homework. My type of hippie. As opposed to the ones that smell bad and try to force their beliefs on everyone else. Tres mauvais!
Which brings us to Marshawn Lynch. I don't watch post-game interviews. However, I get to see the highlights online and/or via social media. When I first saw Marshawn Lynch refusing to talk, I thought it was amusing. By this year's Super Bowl, I'm tired of it. Not tired at all of him. I'm tired of the NFL and the press even bothering to try.
And then I found out the NFL is making him speak. WHY???
There are 56 players on an NFL team. That's 111 OTHER players to talk to other than Marshawn Lynch. Hell, that's about 44 starters. Everyone is not out going. Why worry about 1 man when you have TWENTY TWO starters to choose from on each team? WTF
Marshawn Lynch is not an asshole. He's articulate. He has a good sense of humor. And, most important, he gives back to his community. He has a REAL charity. Not a tax write off like most people. Let him give what he gives in his own way. Fam 1st is much more valuable than any soundbite.
I hope this is not a Craig Hodges situation. The difference might be Lynch's value to the Seahawks. In general, NFL running backs are becoming expendable. Marshawn Lynch is not the typical NFL running back. Beast Mode is real. Marshawn Lynch is ALL the running backs Seattle will need win the Super Bowl. (Prediction!)
But then again, there are 55 other players on the Seahawks and Lynch is only one man. One man who means a whole lot to his community...
So please NFL! Leave Marshawn Lynch alone.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Decision 2015!!!
It's hard to believe three years have passed since Decision 2012. It seems like some much has happened.Either way, election day is upon us again and I have some more decisions to make.
I have been thinking about my dating life since coming back to Los Angeles, it's different than I expected to say the least. I have a lot more alone time than I imagined having when I first left Georgia. And that time has led me to reminiscence over my dating history.
I've been a pretty good boyfriend/partner. I've never cheated. I do flirt, A LOT. But it's probably not in me to cheat. I don't think I have the time.
I've come to realize that no matter how casual the relationship, it's still a relationship and I barely want to sit on the phone and chit chat with my girlfriend, so i definitely don't want to chit chat with a side piece. Think about bootie calls. In theory, it sounds nice. You call at 11:30 (The bootie call hour), ask for some sex, and you get some sex, no strings attached. But there are strings! It's a racket. What they don't mention in the description is the number of calls at 5:30 in the afternoon (or some other ungodly hour when I could be doing something better). They don't mention the inordinate amount of chit chatting that is requisite in a booty call relationship. I'm already trying to minimize the chit chat so side pieces AKA cheating won't work. And I ain't paying....
Hell, I ain't even getting a hotel room, which probably means I"m not going to have much sex at all until I move out of mom's house... SMH. My maximum expenditure in direct relation to sex is condoms. I don't count dates as paying because I usually only take women places I was going to go alone to anyway.
Shout out to the genius who wrote "Dr. J was compelled to say something on this subject because he couldn’t grasp a non paying participant on a date calling the payer cheap. "
Cheap is placing ANY economic value on human interaction.
But I digress. Back to my decision.
It's simple.
I'm getting married soon. And like Andree told me, I'm not wasting my time.
Men and women have standards they wish to acquire. However, when it comes to dating, they put those standards to the side for some of the most ridiculous dating rules. For instance, I've scanned past a GANG of online dating profiles of women who list their relationship goals as "casual/nothing serious..." After talking to them though, they want to be married. Why do they do that? That's the rule. Don't seem too serious. You might scare a lot of guys away.
Fuck that.
You want to get married, say so. I'll go out on a limb and guess that every woman only wants to marry one man. Why be worried about scaring away a lot of men? Isn't the goal to scare away most men and filter it down to one? If you want casual, say so. No need to waste time pretending to be in a serious relationship when you may not have time for one.
Be true to your priorities and the Law of Abundance will give you what you want. Fear and dishonesty will bring you the opposite of your priorities. Don't be scared of getting everything you've ever wanted. I've known what I wanted for a long time. I've been told to not pursue it. I've been distracted from what I want. I've been afraid. I missed out on a few good women... So, I'm going to always say I want to be married until I'm married. I'm always going to talk about marriage even after I'm married because my wife and I will always work on our marriage. I'm working on my marriage now alone and, hopefully, my wife is too. And, one day soon, we'll work on it together.
So, since once it's said, I'm obligated to live it. I'm getting married. Soon. And I probably know her already. #nolongerdistracted #focused #brave
P.S. - The wedding's going to be in New Orleans. (Some things never change)
I have been thinking about my dating life since coming back to Los Angeles, it's different than I expected to say the least. I have a lot more alone time than I imagined having when I first left Georgia. And that time has led me to reminiscence over my dating history.
I've been a pretty good boyfriend/partner. I've never cheated. I do flirt, A LOT. But it's probably not in me to cheat. I don't think I have the time.
I've come to realize that no matter how casual the relationship, it's still a relationship and I barely want to sit on the phone and chit chat with my girlfriend, so i definitely don't want to chit chat with a side piece. Think about bootie calls. In theory, it sounds nice. You call at 11:30 (The bootie call hour), ask for some sex, and you get some sex, no strings attached. But there are strings! It's a racket. What they don't mention in the description is the number of calls at 5:30 in the afternoon (or some other ungodly hour when I could be doing something better). They don't mention the inordinate amount of chit chatting that is requisite in a booty call relationship. I'm already trying to minimize the chit chat so side pieces AKA cheating won't work. And I ain't paying....
Hell, I ain't even getting a hotel room, which probably means I"m not going to have much sex at all until I move out of mom's house... SMH. My maximum expenditure in direct relation to sex is condoms. I don't count dates as paying because I usually only take women places I was going to go alone to anyway.
Shout out to the genius who wrote "Dr. J was compelled to say something on this subject because he couldn’t grasp a non paying participant on a date calling the payer cheap. "
Cheap is placing ANY economic value on human interaction.
But I digress. Back to my decision.
It's simple.
I'm getting married soon. And like Andree told me, I'm not wasting my time.
Men and women have standards they wish to acquire. However, when it comes to dating, they put those standards to the side for some of the most ridiculous dating rules. For instance, I've scanned past a GANG of online dating profiles of women who list their relationship goals as "casual/nothing serious..." After talking to them though, they want to be married. Why do they do that? That's the rule. Don't seem too serious. You might scare a lot of guys away.
Fuck that.
You want to get married, say so. I'll go out on a limb and guess that every woman only wants to marry one man. Why be worried about scaring away a lot of men? Isn't the goal to scare away most men and filter it down to one? If you want casual, say so. No need to waste time pretending to be in a serious relationship when you may not have time for one.
Be true to your priorities and the Law of Abundance will give you what you want. Fear and dishonesty will bring you the opposite of your priorities. Don't be scared of getting everything you've ever wanted. I've known what I wanted for a long time. I've been told to not pursue it. I've been distracted from what I want. I've been afraid. I missed out on a few good women... So, I'm going to always say I want to be married until I'm married. I'm always going to talk about marriage even after I'm married because my wife and I will always work on our marriage. I'm working on my marriage now alone and, hopefully, my wife is too. And, one day soon, we'll work on it together.
So, since once it's said, I'm obligated to live it. I'm getting married. Soon. And I probably know her already. #nolongerdistracted #focused #brave
P.S. - The wedding's going to be in New Orleans. (Some things never change)
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