Inter-racial Dating: Why does it bother you?

I’m pro-choice. I’m also pro-keep it too yourself. I’m mostly pro truth. Choose either way you want, just be honest about why. In discussing the matter with friends, the question of motivation always comes up in the inter-racial dating discussion.

            I went to Facebook for answers. One interesting comment says: I really don't know how I feel? cause if my dad didn't date my mom I wouldn't be here...my kids wouldn't be here. I guess whats bothering me now is the last 2 relationships i have been in and I am currently still in the last one...both men were MARRIED (but divorced when i dated them) to White women!!! i have always felt love is love but i am finding myself irritated at the site of Black men with White women. But i don't know why...

            (I am finding myself irritated at the [sight] of Black men with White women. But I don’t know why…)

            Neither do I. And I think that bothers us all the most.

            In this age of uncertainties and ever increasing insecurities, we find solace in pointing out each other’s short comings. Misery loves company. We also want someone to blame for our struggles. Racism is dead but people are still broke and it must be someone’s fault. Now, the former victims of racism are getting into the blame game.

            Among Black people, it’s easier to blame White men/women for our already damaged gender roles. Among ALL Americans, it’s always someone else who has the money. And so, inter-racial dating becomes about money and politics as well.

             

Main thing I would say is unless your an ultra rich White person or an old White republican type that thinks they're rich being White is a wrap! Interacial dating is in all cultures!!! As we Black "African" descendants break up these stereo types all the women in the world are realizing that the Black Man is the shit!!!!! This has opened up interacial dating doors for races of all kind!!! Love and Marriage is very Hardwork!!! I applaud everyone giving an honest God-Love relationship no matter race creed or color!!! P.S. These pink toes wit Donks is Killin some of these sisters I ain't mad at brothas chasin them bubbles!!!!

            And of course, there are ‘The Bubbles”. The phenomena of White girls with ass is growing and creating more than a little confusion. I’m talking about REAL cheeks, not those Britney Spears implants. (Give it up Britney. We know.)

            Some A lot of stereotypes are being turned up on their heads. The Bubbles are just two things that have changed. Not only is “being White a wrap” but so is being anything else. Black English, Ebonics, talking White, AND the valley girl dialects are dying thanks to the internet and free long distance.

The bottom line is -   love is love. color shouldnt matter.

            The problem we have with inter-racial dating is that we (America) haven’t figured out what Love is. The thought that someone else has it figured out and that it doesn’t have anything to do with all or any of our preconceived notions is unsettling. We feel it when look at same race couples. Everyone hates PDAs that aren’t us. No one wants any couples in their faces with all that cute shit.

It’s just that we have no excuse for hating on the same race couples. In our blame game society, we can find a ton of reasons why inter-racial dating bothers us. Racism is dead (The Blog @ What I Learned…) but we will beat that dead horse and use the glue to keep on releasing ourselves from facing our own inadequacies.

Who we should consider are the couples who have looked beyond stereotypes and found Love. They inspire us to do something difficult and that’s change. And that change is made even more difficult because it’s our perspectives we have to change. Seeing someone happy shouldn’t bother us no matter what race the people are.

On the other side of the coin, there are those who choose to date outside their race to cover up for inadequacies. There are “color struck” people in all races. And they play the blame game like everyone else. They get tired of how someone in their family or culture treated them and turn their backs on their race.

In Las Vegas, I found myself in the company of quite a few White girls who had never dated White boys or even considered it. I noticed a correlation between these girls’ dating preferences and the absence of their fathers. Of course, having a lot of Black friends, I have had a few who mysteriously only dated the lightest skinned Black girls and eventually Latina and White girls. Both these White girls and my friends have in common is a motivation to disregard mates of the same race along with a refusal to discuss those same motivations.

We may never know the true motivations of these individuals. Anyone who is not honest about their motivations is not operating in Love. These people may be the minority when it comes to inter-racial couples. Because of that, we shouldn’t consider these people at all when it comes to dating. These people should not be dating within or without their race.

Although these may be the minority, these need our Love. If we are also lost and unfulfilled then we can’t help. We should start with ourselves. But if we know Love, we know to give Love. Perhaps we can help others to find Love. And if we know Love, we know nothing else, especially race, matters.

Black And Brown: Election 2008

This democratic primary is making me upset. First, Black women come under fire because some choose to vote for Hillary Clinton and not Barrack Obama. Today, minority voters are showing splits between hispanic and black voters because hispanic voters don't trust Obama to represent them once in office. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The representation of this primary in the news has not benefited the Democratic Party. There is simply too much division! And the worst part is, the division is among under-represented groups. The saddest thing I ever see is broke people fighting over a nickel to give to the wealthy, so the wealthy can throw the poor more crumbs to fight over at their amusement. We are Bum Fights 2008. A few republicans are having a grand old time watching Black people, Brown people, and women weaken the major focus of this campaign. CHANGE (That is change for the better!)

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one upset by this division. This is not what our leaders died for. You know I'm so upset I can't wtite any more...

Am I missing something?


Have we ever been able to come together on anything? The Browns and the Blacks has/have always been divided and will probably always will. Many of us don't know who we are, many of us don't know the promises that were made, many of us don't care that we are a chose people, people chosen by God. But will we ever see those promises come to fruition? I wonder, because we've chosen to put our selves in the dunce seat. Step N Fetchit is alive and well once again. The Black and the Browns are still a source of amusements for the Others.

Not at all. It's sad to say, but this is the reality that we live in. We are a divided people. Everyone will (hopefully) think and analyze and decide for him/herself which candidate they believe will do a better job. I think a lot of what's going on has to do with Barrack's perceived inexperience and Hillary's perceived advantagous experience. But, then again, I guess this is what democracy is about. Our leaders fought for our right to vote. As great of a tragedy as it is to see disadvantaged people fight amongst themselves and to see the advantaged in our country benefit from it, I think it is a greater tragedy if the disadvantaged didn't disagree with each other at all. For if that were the case, they wouldn't be involved in the democratic process at all. So while it saddens me to see what is going on, I have to say that part of me is content with it because at least there are most people from this demographic involved in the political process now than I can remember at any recent time. Let's just hope that whomever the nominee is, that we can rally behind them and support them through the rest of their campaign.

WORD!
No I don't think you're missing anything and the analogy of the crumbs is a good one. I was just discussing the paradigms ,that are perpetuating this divide, with my coworker yesterday.

He was talking about how the socio-econimic paradigm we live within has created divides or categories even within poverty. He pointed out white poverty versus black poverty, male poverty versus female poverty, and rural poverty versus urban poverty. I couldn't disagree with his assertions.

But I did point out to him that the paradigm is not new. It has existed since before the advent of the U.S. as a country. It is not new it is long seated and deeply ingrained.

Yet, the fact that people like ourselves are having these conversations point to the hope of change....and I don't mean in the sense of some political movement.

I think there are more of us that will rally behind either democratic candidate despite the divisive speech and childish antics some of our peers are exhibiting.

I'd have to agree with Theo on this one. The participation within the democratic party has superceded that of previous years. People do want change and they are voicing their opinions by voting. I think if Barack Obama was not running, I 'may' rally behind Clinton, but personally, I feel he is the best candidate, despite his perceived inexperience (in comparison to Hillary's years of experience - including the 4 years she played the role as the wife of the President...). One of these democratic candidates will be the primary democratic candidate. When that happens, hopefully all - inclusive of men, women, blacks, hispanics, etc.. will rally together and elect a democratic candidate. This primary campaign has proved that people DO have the know how and capability of coming out to the polls and voting. So if we combine the support gathered by Obama and Clinton, a DEMOCRATIC candidate shall be elected! This country needs a democratic president, more than it has ever before (in our lifetime). Both Clinton and Obama's plan takes into account universal health care, ending the war on Iraq, and other pertinent issues, so this will benefit the masses. Last but not least, for your Texas, Ohio, Vermont, and Rhode Island friends - cast your vote if you haven't already. This is a vital time in history. I suggest you vote for Obama because he is NOT indebted to ANY lobbyist and he is in a position to evoke change that will be holistically benefit the American people. His grassroots movement has surpassed all prediction. If you are a Texan, voting isn't enough. We need you to be at your precints by 7pm tonight. Do the Texas 2 step by voting AND caucusing.

Barack the Vote!!