Inter-racial Dating: Why does it bother you?

I’m pro-choice. I’m also pro-keep it too yourself. I’m mostly pro truth. Choose either way you want, just be honest about why. In discussing the matter with friends, the question of motivation always comes up in the inter-racial dating discussion.

            I went to Facebook for answers. One interesting comment says: I really don't know how I feel? cause if my dad didn't date my mom I wouldn't be here...my kids wouldn't be here. I guess whats bothering me now is the last 2 relationships i have been in and I am currently still in the last one...both men were MARRIED (but divorced when i dated them) to White women!!! i have always felt love is love but i am finding myself irritated at the site of Black men with White women. But i don't know why...

            (I am finding myself irritated at the [sight] of Black men with White women. But I don’t know why…)

            Neither do I. And I think that bothers us all the most.

            In this age of uncertainties and ever increasing insecurities, we find solace in pointing out each other’s short comings. Misery loves company. We also want someone to blame for our struggles. Racism is dead but people are still broke and it must be someone’s fault. Now, the former victims of racism are getting into the blame game.

            Among Black people, it’s easier to blame White men/women for our already damaged gender roles. Among ALL Americans, it’s always someone else who has the money. And so, inter-racial dating becomes about money and politics as well.

             

Main thing I would say is unless your an ultra rich White person or an old White republican type that thinks they're rich being White is a wrap! Interacial dating is in all cultures!!! As we Black "African" descendants break up these stereo types all the women in the world are realizing that the Black Man is the shit!!!!! This has opened up interacial dating doors for races of all kind!!! Love and Marriage is very Hardwork!!! I applaud everyone giving an honest God-Love relationship no matter race creed or color!!! P.S. These pink toes wit Donks is Killin some of these sisters I ain't mad at brothas chasin them bubbles!!!!

            And of course, there are ‘The Bubbles”. The phenomena of White girls with ass is growing and creating more than a little confusion. I’m talking about REAL cheeks, not those Britney Spears implants. (Give it up Britney. We know.)

            Some A lot of stereotypes are being turned up on their heads. The Bubbles are just two things that have changed. Not only is “being White a wrap” but so is being anything else. Black English, Ebonics, talking White, AND the valley girl dialects are dying thanks to the internet and free long distance.

The bottom line is -   love is love. color shouldnt matter.

            The problem we have with inter-racial dating is that we (America) haven’t figured out what Love is. The thought that someone else has it figured out and that it doesn’t have anything to do with all or any of our preconceived notions is unsettling. We feel it when look at same race couples. Everyone hates PDAs that aren’t us. No one wants any couples in their faces with all that cute shit.

It’s just that we have no excuse for hating on the same race couples. In our blame game society, we can find a ton of reasons why inter-racial dating bothers us. Racism is dead (The Blog @ What I Learned…) but we will beat that dead horse and use the glue to keep on releasing ourselves from facing our own inadequacies.

Who we should consider are the couples who have looked beyond stereotypes and found Love. They inspire us to do something difficult and that’s change. And that change is made even more difficult because it’s our perspectives we have to change. Seeing someone happy shouldn’t bother us no matter what race the people are.

On the other side of the coin, there are those who choose to date outside their race to cover up for inadequacies. There are “color struck” people in all races. And they play the blame game like everyone else. They get tired of how someone in their family or culture treated them and turn their backs on their race.

In Las Vegas, I found myself in the company of quite a few White girls who had never dated White boys or even considered it. I noticed a correlation between these girls’ dating preferences and the absence of their fathers. Of course, having a lot of Black friends, I have had a few who mysteriously only dated the lightest skinned Black girls and eventually Latina and White girls. Both these White girls and my friends have in common is a motivation to disregard mates of the same race along with a refusal to discuss those same motivations.

We may never know the true motivations of these individuals. Anyone who is not honest about their motivations is not operating in Love. These people may be the minority when it comes to inter-racial couples. Because of that, we shouldn’t consider these people at all when it comes to dating. These people should not be dating within or without their race.

Although these may be the minority, these need our Love. If we are also lost and unfulfilled then we can’t help. We should start with ourselves. But if we know Love, we know to give Love. Perhaps we can help others to find Love. And if we know Love, we know nothing else, especially race, matters.