The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back (And got me back writing...)

I’ve had it!

With all the incessant Trayvonn Martin coverage, the ridiculous hoodie marches to nowhere to achieve nothing, I’m already at my limit. Then every “Black writer” wants to add their own “individual” injustice to the mix. After three weeks of incessant blogs, and post, and status updates and tweets, I have to ask myself “what is the purpose?”

For all things there is a purpose.  There is a lesson to be learned. There is an opportunity for growth. Where is it? Are we STILL marching? Where the hell are we going? We’ve been marching for 56 years and we’re still in Selma. That’s not progress. What all this is telling me is that people died for nothing. And it’s OUR fault! It’s not anyone else. US!

Look in the mirror! That’s you being a douche-bag.

Which brings me to the straw that broke the camel’s back. Thembisa S. Mshaka

Absolutely nothing wrong with the lady except for the way she came to my attention…
unacceptable. #AdFail? How about journalistic failure? This lady wrote The Book on the entertainment industry! And maybe that’s why I shouldn’t expect much leadership. It’s so much easier to jump on the victim bandwagon, than it is to create a new trend or just simply to tell the truth.

Let me break it down in similar fashion to Miss Mshaka since she provided the blue print for success…

This is 5 ways in which black people need to stop crying about a Burger King ad:

1.       Just because you know how to place the words: rude, terse and invasive together doesn’t mean it’s true. Jay Leno drove a car through a restaurant and ignored the same manager when he suggested the drive through. Salma Hayek took over the “line up”. (Learn Spanish!) And no one paid for their food.

If we’re going to cry injustice, let there be one. Next week Mary will be a Diva again and it will be OK to interrupt people.

2.       EVERYTHING at Burger King is Unhealthy even the sugar salad. If the insinuation is that black people will only buy the snack wrap because that’s the item Mary featured, GTFOH! Healthy people know better. Adults know better. I will even venture to say middle schoolers  know better. Don’t try to sell that ‘black item/white item’ shit over here. I ain’t buying it and, as a responsible citizen and (dare I say) leader, I won’t anyone around me buy it either.

And for the unhealthy, let them eat chicken without feeling like they are fulfilling a stereotype. I’ve been around black people who are scared to eat chicken in public. It’s uncomfortable for me and I don’t give a care. I’ll eat chicken in a “white” restaurant in white linen on a white carpet off a white woman if I’m hungry enough. (White women, take it easy. I’m just making a point)

3.       Salma Hayek gets to act because she’s and actress who’s been acting longer than Mary’s been singing. Jay Leno is a comedian, he gets to be funny. AND he buys three items because he has a guest. And the guest holds the tray because Jay Leno is driving. You drive and hold the tray with your proud ass! And David Beckham is, surprise surprise, an underwear model in addition to being a soccer player. He probably didn’t play soccer because he’s over the hill and only in America to sell his image because that’s what models do. And Mary sings. So – The – Fuck – What! Looks like everyone involved is showcasing the talent that got them paid $2 million dollars for a 30 second ad

Magical negro please…

4.       I’m sure if I wrote down everything I said, I could find where I predicted Mary would be doing Burger King Commercials. Once you sell out aka start getting paid for being famous, there are no limits. While I’ll admit Beyonce’ and Queen Latifah may not have done the Burger king commercials, they also wouldn’t have done Carol’s Daughter, Chevy, or T-Mobile. So? And Lauryn Hill? She won’t take money from anybody to do anything since 1998. The key is, someone has to do it. And both Beyonce’ and Queen Latifah have looked ridiculous for 30 seconds. It’s a commercial. They get paid to pretend they patronize these companies so the sheep will flock.

5.       Last but not least, Mary J Blige has been looking crazy and inspiring ghetto girls to embarrass themselves in public for two decades. THIS

is just as crazy a look as this:

Neither are high fashion, both are classic Mary. What she does do is inspire people to be risk takers.

Mary did this for more than 2 million dollars. Mary J Blige has never had a lane to stay in. Don’t ever expect her to do so. And for God’s sake, don’t try to put her in one. You want to briefly mention the poor sales of My Life II, will admit it was not because the album was anything less than phenomenal. IT was a classic collaboration and a welcome reprieve from the constant barrage of subpar music we’ve been subjected to in the last few years.

If you wanted to do something besides complain and ride the cry baby bandwagon, you might want to the little bit of good music that still gets made. Since no one can get Lauryn Hill to do anything new, Mary is what we got and I thank God for her. At least she still got to keep her check (I hope!).

And, by the way, I expect an industry insider to not mislead people. At twenty years in the game, the only person with less time out of the stars Burger King chose was an athlete. Athletes are lucky to make it 15 years let alone twenty. So while Mary may be a vet in a young genre, she’s got a way to go. Chaka Khan and Aretha Franklin are still performing. If you’re going to keep it real, keep it honest too!

And for God’s sake, stop crying!