Jail

So I’m in jail, hopefully for the last time. Would saying this is so contrary to what was expected of me fifteen years ago be an understatement? I still thank God, I’ve avoided REAL prison. He knows, I could have been there too. (Ah-Hem-Hmm)

There are five counties in the immediate Atlanta metropolitan area. I’ve seen the inside of four of their jails. I didn’t think anything of it the first couple of times. I made some mistakes. (A lot of them drunk mistakes) I wouldn’t repeat them. But this year, it became apparent. I haven’t repeated any specific behaviors. But I also haven’t changed my mentality.

I picked up this quote sometime in 2009. “The path of least resistance makes all rivers, and some men, crooked” – Napoleon Hill. I think I get it now. I was one of those men. I’ve been going with the flow for far too long. Some kind of way, I’ve flowed into niggardom. That (niggardom) is the negativity, depression and hopelessness plaguing most of America.

I must get out, if only to show the rest of America how to get out of it. But seriously, I got things to do. I’m late for an innumerable amount of appointments with destiny. I hope I can reschedule.

I’ve seen enough. I’ve learned what I needed to. Time to get back on track. We now return to our regularly scheduled program. This was just a test. No let’s see if I passed.

The blessing is always being able to remember who I am. The other blessing is I’m not too far off track. Niggardom will have you believe all is lost. Never was that the case. I have been flowing. I just got off on the scenic route. The expressway is just around the corner. I’m gone!

I won’t forget those I left behind. If I can get out, everyone can. Some can’t see it and I can’t help them from the inside. Once I get out though. I’ll show them the way. After that, it’s up to them. Most won’t come. Thank God for the few who will.

There was also a time when I wouldn’t be honest about where I’ve been. Actually, it was quite recently. While I might have recounted exploits and situations, I did so with a detachment that wasn’t honest about the mental and social state I was in.

There is no need to be apologetic about who I am. God loves me. My family loves me. My friends love me. (An amazing number still love me!) I finally figured out, that would never change. All I have to do is be myself.

Today, I admit my guilt. I’m guilty of being dishonest. I was so scared to be myself, I was dishonest about who I was. I lay my sin at the cross. If the unyielding Love of God, My family and my friends is any indication, I’ve been forgiven long ago. I realize it now. Now I am free to be 100% of the me I am.

Now that I am free physically and mentally, I have no fear of bondage literally or figuratively. Once again, the sky is the limit. The Easy Rider is now a juggernaut. Watch out world. Jason is Free!