What I Learned from a Bunch of Children going to celebrate Pride

Wisdom 7

Hebrews 4

Mark 10

Now it doesn't matter that I was late to church. I am home.

First off, those kids were too young to be going to Pride. Not questioning their choices, but making a statement on the adult nature of some of the activities at Pride. Only in Atlanta. (And New York, Miami, LA,...)

Anyhow, I was wondering what kind of conversation would take place if one happened to occur between these kids and I. Would I have to explain how my spirituality coincided with my acceptance of their choices. I came up with this.

By fellowshipping with different individuals based on one ore more similar beliefs, we learn about Love at its truest essence. That is exactly what those children were doing. They found strength in their group. That group should first lead them to learn to Love themselves then each other. Once they learn to Love one another they learn to Love people who are outside their group. Any religion/ideology/church that doesn't teach that is false.

Journal 8/26/15 - "Love Yo Self" The Gospel Musical (Dream Sequence)

Craziest dream!

Shalanda was escorting me to my church (a conglomeration of St Agatha's, Lady of Lourdes and Holy Name) except it didn't look like my church once inside. It was more like The Faith Dome with wooden pews. At center stage there was a woman who looked like Tenita Scott. I was far enough away from her not to notice she had no legs until someone came to lift her up and sit her in front of a piano... That song!

"Kill my self, na-uh

That's not what I'm going to do

I got too much living to do

Kill yoself, no-no

That's just not the way to go

He loves you more than you'll ever know..."

I woke up from that dream so inspired. I had no idea how much death, murder and suicide would plague 2016. There is such heavy a burden on so many people. Although I believe in the after life, we as a community have a lot of work to do on earth. We all have a purpose here. It's a major step to discover your purpose and should be your dying mission to fulfill that purpose.

Living well is the best revenge against the spirits who wish to convince you to give up.

Kill my self, na-uh

That's not what I'm going to do

I got too much living to do

Kill yoself, no-no

That's just not the way to go

He loves you more than you'll ever know..."

Love yo self yeah, yeah
That's what you have to do
You got too much living to do
Love your life, say yes
Always do your very best
Don't compare what's yours to all the rest

There's Always More Love

I may cuss at yall from time to time but most people know me to be positive all the time. I always have a smile. I always say yes to favors. I always give all that I can. I always find the bright side in every situation. I always choose happiness.

Believe me, it is not easy.

It's taken years of choosing the right friends after years of choosing the wrong ones. It's taken so much trial and error. It's taken trying so many things that don't work to find the ones that do. They say the road to happiness is always under construction. I am forever perfecting my foundation, especially the cornerstone of all that I am. It's never-ending work. It''s certainly the most fulfilling.

Yesterday, again, I felt like giving up on my journey. Today, again, my foundation kept me steady. I was gonna stop saying yes to helping people. I had forgotten why I do it. I had forgotten why do this. I felt like I just didn't have any more to give to anyone. I was over it all.

Quite a few times I've been distracted from my journey. Most recently, the struggles of life and poverty keep coming up to deter me. I've done it all to counter these struggles. I've studied money. What it is. Where it came from. How to get it. How to keep it. Before I get sidetracked from this thought, let me say I've fallen into the rut of the rat race a couple of times. The things, the routine of the things, I did to get money to pay for my dreams blurred my visions and eventually let me to abandon my dreams over and over. The bad part is that they showed no promise of anything even comparable to my dreams. I won't settle. So I haven't.

I have to thank God for the people in my life, the chosen and unchosen, who've kept me on track, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally. And I thank them by staying on track. I will make it. For myself but can do no other thing but to share every reward, every milestone, every step, every success with the people who helped me get there.

Everyone is always right on time. The only person I'll name is Brandinika because she ha no social media presence at all. She surprised me last year by reminding me that people not on Facebook read my blog still. I write for them. All three of them. For the timely posts. For the accurate cussings out. For the wise words. For my best friend always reminding me directly to never give up.

Yesterday, I felt I had no more love in me. And at that moment, my foundation showed me a mirror. All I could see was Love.

The Racial Impact of the Racial Impact of Eric Striker: A Year Later, "We Still Need To Talk..."

An interesting discussion about race and music this morning preceded an awesome article on racism and sports. We must continue to talk about race in an open and honest way.

First, music is just another area where some Black Americans want it both ways. They want to keep the music pure and untouched by big business. They also want to commercial success that comes from being recognized and accepted by the mainstream. Plainly, they want the Billboard numbers and the Grammy plaques and when a 'black' artist does that, they want to call that artist a sellout.

Mainstream music is simple. This is America. We are still the model for capitalism. Music is business. American businesses have the goal of selling to as many people as possible, ideally every person. The idea that a business will intentionally ignore 87% of the population (non-black Americans) is ridiculous. The minute an artist signs to a major distribution label, that artist 'sold out.' At the moment the artist signed, that artist committed to selling as many records/albums/downloads to as many people as possible, all 100% of America. In layman terms, that means 'black artists' want to sell to white music listeners. (White Americans being the current majority of the population.) Or, at least, the labels these black artists are signed to want to and those artists contracts say they agree and cooperate with that effort. Labels are preparing themselves for the next majority by signing Latin artists to sing pop songs so they can pass for now and be prepared to switch to catering to the new majority (Latinos) shift happens.

With that being said, we must be responsible in our discussion of race. That we have to discuss race is as certain as all humans needing clean air to breath. That we have to be responsible in that discussion is absolute. The race profiteers will not be tolerated nor entertained. America has no room for people who use race/racism as an excuse to be an asshole. Drug dealers are wrong. Black drug dealers cannot use the 'this is all they'll let me do' argument as an excuse to ruin communities. There are/have been/will be multimillionaire black drug dealers who continue to treat their front businesses like crap. Instead of actually helping their community by going legit; lowering the black unemployment rate to match the national average by hiring and paying above the table; growing their businesses into political powerhouses, these 'men' continually suck the life out of their communities. Drug dealing is just an analogy for black men/women who use race as an excuse for crime.

White Americans can neither determine when the race issue is over nor can they become frustrated when race is brought up. That is not a pass to use racial slurs against White Americans. Responsible discussion does not mean nor includes mud slinging. The fact is the majority of white America has suffered because of the invention of race. No where near as much as any other race but most of white America stands to gain by participating in a responsible discussion of race.

The main racial issue in America is parity. Parity is the final frontier in race. It may be the final frontier in democratic justice. Parity means much more than equality. Parity is a more complete term. Equality means social integration and cultural assimilation, as it pertains to race. Parity is a more than that. Parity means that 'white' schools become integrated but not at the expense of 'black' schools. Instead, 'white' schools AND 'black' schools get integrated and all schools share equal resources. Parity means the end of haves and have nots in the public realm. Parity means that statistics like black business ownership and black unemployment are closer to (if not equal to) the national averages. Parity doesn't require gifts or hand outs from one race to another. It simply needs and open and honest dialogue. This all means that Black America can solve many of its problems on its own. What is needed is a dialogue to erase many of the lingering resentments on all sides. What all races need to understand is that racism wasn't propagated in order to put down one race (or more) to promote another race. That is racism wasn't and isn't for the benefit of White America at the expense of Black America. Racism is about putting down ALL races, creating division and confusion so the rich (1%) can get and stay rich.

The key for America's growth is transparency. We must be able to discuss the merits of a sub-group's philosophies or actions as they apply to the country as a whole. Many militant groups, of all races, are a detriment to the country on their own. A dialogue will provide education and reveal profiteers to each group thereby fostering cooperation towards every group's common goal, the success of the nation. People who have blatant bias and prejudice should be allowed to express.themselves in hopes of gaining a better understanding of other groups. Once we are out and open with each other, we can come together as a nation to hunt out those closet racists and race manipulators who harbor secret feelings and stir up strife/division. We don't want to push racism into the closet. We want to be able to speak/talk about everything. We want to tell those 'white' frats across the country that their sophomoric jokes will not help race relations in the country. We want to hear their explanations then educate them on appropriate statements. After all, these are barely twenty somethings who have yet to experience the world. College students are often the best and brightest our country has to offer but we must always remember they are still learning the best ways to contribute their talents to the world. By making positive examples of incidents like these, we encourage stronger contributions to the racial dialogue.

In towns like Ferguson, MO it is up to all Americans to see that the problems are much bigger than police-community relations. No matter what twists and turns society takes, there will always be laws and men/women appointed to enforce those laws. Probity dictates that the American issue is the quality of our law enforcement and the protocols we are using to fight crime. The issue in Ferguson is race. In Ferguson, we see that the black community is ill prepared to govern themselves as a result of decades of race profiteering. There are some major problems when a locality is not governed in a representative way, especially in a republic. Democracy is not working and we have to ask why. We would not expect a city like Portland. (70% white) to be run almost exclusively by black people including a 99% black police force. That is not to say Ferguson should have an all black police force, city council and mayor but one would expect a more representative government.

Nearly a year later, Eric Striker is out of college and the NFL and Colin Kaepernick has taken up Eric Striker's banner of demanding a dialogue. The resistance is just what we might have expected. In 2016, White-Americans are violently resistant to the idea that they could be racist or related to a racist. At the same, more and more Americans are being exposed as racists.

But we are talking, even if, being that awkward beginning stage, a great deal of people are talking stupid. We have to realize that irrationality is response to change. We tend to be ridiculous in our resistance to change. Change is certainly coming. It will be radical. It will be difficult and it will be painful.

But we will survive. And we will be better for it. 

Not Feeling the Bern: Who's Fault is That?

Let's get to business. I am two things. I am a Black nationalist and I am an American economist. As an economist, I lean towards a structural view of the economy. That means I'm closer to being a socialist than anything else. As a Black Nationalist, I know that neither candidate will do much for the Black community. I don't bemoan The Clinton Crime Bill because crime has to be addressed and its flaws are in the execution which means the bill was not dumbed down enough for law enforcement to properly execute it. 

I am an independent. I haven't decided who I'm going to vote for in the primary. It will either be Hillary or Bernie. (As an independent, my ballot will have both Democrat and Republican nominees on it.)

In May, Hillary Clinton was halfway to the nomination and Bernie was splitting delegates along the way. At best he slowed Hillary down but had no chance of stopping her. Hillary Clinton is going to win the nomination as long as it's close. The Democratic nominee will win the general election. I still have questions. Hillary Clinton has a strong reputation. She also has a short resume. She gets things done but I don't really like her as a person. Bernie Sanders has a long resume. He also has a strong reputation. I mostly wonder why Bernie Sanders hasn't been more successful as a politician. 

To be clear, he's known as the king of amendments. He does get bills passed with little support from Democrats or Republicans. I'm measuring political success as moving forward in your career. So, I'm asking, why so long (six presidential elections) before running for president. Even failed elections succeed bringing agendas to national attention. That's why small party candidates even bother.

That's it. I like Hillary as a politician. She's pragmatic. She's tough. She's moderate. No matter how far to the left or right our friends try to pretend they are, most people are moderate. They are conservative about some things. They are liberal about others. Take an older Black church goer. They are surely generous with social entitlements and they support civil rights. But they are usually economically conservative. They are pro-life. They are against planned parenthood and contraception. I know gay black men who will find at least one issue they're conservative about.

I really like Bernie! He has a strong personality that grows on you quickly. His campaign has a lot of energy. I do wonder though why all that energy and youth in his campaign hasn't manifested a Rock The Vote type push to register new voters and make sure people vote. To be fair, neither has Hillary's campaign but her campaign doesn't have the same energy anyway. And I lean more towards a Socialist perspective than a purely Capitalist one. However, I know that the revolution will not be televised. especially not on a debate stage during the Democratic Primaries...

I am extremely hesitant to jump on the Bernie Sanders bandwagon. The peculiarity of the situation is that it has nothing to do with Bernie Sanders and everything to do with his fans. This is the same everything from Kim Kardashian to Black Lives Matter. It's more apparent because I really do like Bernie Sanders whereas I've been mostly ambivalent to everything else. In short, it's you, my so smart friends, who are turning me off. I am repulsed by the #FeelTheBern political revolution and its implementation. 

During this primary season, some of my smartest most intellectual friends have ignored logic and reason to fully embrace Bernie-mania. He was never meant to win with or without intervention on behalf of Hillary Clinton. He was virtually unknown to most of America. His name was even absent from the mouths and timelines of some of the most gung-ho supporters I know before 2015. COMPLETELY absent. Some of those supporters might say that's OK because they were equally unaware of President Obama before 2008. However, as someone who was aware of Barack Obama in 2004 and Bernie Sanders in 2012, it's not the same. In 2004, Barack Obama gave a speech at the DNC that had Fox News pundits predicting he would win an election in 2008. (FOX NEWS...) Barack Obama is a political insider. 

My final decision is coming down to the supporters. I have never been so ridiculed, attacked and talked down to when discussing politics than I have this year discussing the democratic primaries, with other democratic leaning voters. Correction, I've never been ridiculed, attacked or talked down to by other democratic leaning voters until this primary. I find that is the most ridiculous thing about this election. I say again and again, the Democratic nominee will win the general election. But these Bernie Sibs (Siblings/Bros and Sisses) have gotten crazy. THEY actually have me scared they will do something foolish (like not vote) in the general and give the election to the Republicans.

And that would be the end of the movement. I fear, the movement will end at latest after the general election. It will end because the Bernie Sibs are not the revolutionaries they are pretending to be in 2016. Those that I know are more capitalists than socialists. Firmly entrenched in the bourgeoisie class, they participate in a bit of social welfare but they aren't ready to give up their middle-class status for the revolution. But they're gone change the world in 2016!

...and change it right back in 2017...

Why? Because the Bernie Sibs ain't giving up their comfort! In fact, I had a Bernie supporter tell me they don't believe in the revolution. It's unfortunate that many more Bernie Sibs may feel that way about the revolution. Which makes me wonder why/how they become Bernie Sibs since the revolution is All that Bernie is about. Someone as politically intelligent as Bernie knows the President can do very little to affect the changes he wants. He needs at least 300 congressional seats, quite a few governors, and some major municipalities. That's at least two more election cycles away and half the Bernie Sibs have quit on the revolution and it's not even November.

It's a little discouraging when a general's army quits on him before the war even begins. That's my hesitation in jumping on bandwagons. It's not the driver of the wagon. It's the other passengers. I don't want to ride with yall because I don't trust yall.

Love Bernie!

Not feeling the Bern...

Malcolm X's Independence Speech and Black Nationalism Today

On March 12, 1964, after being censured by the Nation Of Islam, Malcolm X broke his silence with this statement on his beliefs and his plans for his community.

In 1994/5, I performed this speech many times at speech and debate competitions. Mostly I wanted to be different from the Martin Luther King crowd. back then, I thought there was a difference between Martin and Malcolm. I believed there was a split in the Black thought. I chose Malcolm. My journey showed me there could be split. Once I removed divisive thoughts from my perspective these words made a lot more sense.

After twenty years of forgetting theses words and not seeing them, today I am amazed at having developed a much deeper understanding of Black Nationalism that leads me back to these words...

This is everything I've learned and believe in as it pertains to Black Nationalism. It seems very timely given the atmosphere today...

Because 1964 threatens to be a very explosive year on the racial front, and because I myself intend to be very active in every phase of the American Negro struggle for human rights, I have called this press conference this morning in order to clarify my own position in the struggle, especially in regards to politics and nonviolence.

I am and always will be a Muslim. My religion is Islam. I still believe that Mr. Muhammad's analysis of the problem is the most realistic, and that his solution is the best one. This means that I too believe that the best solution is complete separation, with our people going back home, that is, to our African homeland.

But separation back to Africa is still a long-range program, and while it is yet to materialize, 22 million of our people who are still here in America need better food, better clothing, better housing, better education and better jobs right now. Mr. Muhammad's program does point us back homeward, but it also contains within it what we could and should be doing to help solve our own problems right now while we're still in America.

But internal differences within the Nation of Islam forced me out of it. I did not leave of my own free will. But now that it has happened, I intend to make the most of it. Now that I have more independence of action, I intend to use a more flexible approach toward working with others to get a solution to this problem.

I'm not out to fight other Negro leaders or other Negro organizations. We must find a common approach, a common solution, to a common problem. As of this minute, I have forgotten everything bad that the other leaders have said about me, and I pray they can also forget the many bad things I've said about them. The problem facing our people here in America is bigger than all the other personal or organizational differences. Therefore, as leaders, we must stop worrying about the threat that we seem to think we pose to each other's personal prestige, and concentrate our united efforts toward solving the unending hurt that is being done daily to our people here in America.

I am going to organize and head a new mosque in New York City, known as the Muslim Mosque Incorporated. This gives us a religious base, and the spiritual force necessary to rid our people of the vices that destroy the moral fiber of our community.

Our political philosophy will be black nationalism. Our economic and social philosophy will be black nationalism. Our cultural emphasis will be upon black nationalism.

Many of our people aren't religiously inclined, so the Muslim Mosque, Incorporated, will be organized in such manner to provide for the active participation of all Negroes in our political, economic, and social programs, despite their religious or non-religious beliefs.

The political philosophy of black nationalism means: we must control the politics and the politicians of our own community. They must no longer take orders from outside forces, and we will organize, and sweep out of office all Negro politicians who are puppets for these outside forces.

Our accent will be upon youth. We need new ideas, new methods, new approaches. We will call upon young students of political science throughout the nation to help us. We will encourage these young students to launch their own independent study, and then give us their analysis and their suggestions. We are completely disenchanted with the old, adult, established politicians. We want to see some new faces, more militant faces.

Concerning nonviolence: it is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself when he is the constant victim of brutal attacks. It is legal and lawful in this country to own a shotgun or a rifle. We believe in obeying the law. In areas where our people are the constant victims of brutality, and the government seems unable or unwilling to protect them, we should form rifle clubs that can be used to defend ourselves and our property in times of emergency, such as happened last year in Birmingham Alabama, in Plaquemine, Louisiana in Cambridge, Maryland and in Danville, Virginia. When our people are being bitten by dogs, they are within their rights to kill those dogs. We should be peaceful, law-abiding—but the time has come for the American Negro to fight back in self-defense whenever and wherever he is being unjustly and unlawfully attacked. 

If the government thinks I am wrong for saying this, then let the government start doing its job.

Sloan Enterprises LLC Mission

A man named Jay Franklin planted a seed. A man named Albert Sloan watered that seed. A man named Jay Sloan took control; cultivated the soil, fertilized and grew that seed into a tree. Jay Sloan developed a vision of growth and giving that will certainly be the legacy of he and Sloan Enterprises LLC

A chess player sees three moves ahead. A chess master sees the whole game. Similarly, a master of life sees far beyond the next few generations towards eternity. From one generation to the next S.E.LLC seeks to grow and maintain traditions which will last until the end of time. 

Sloan Enterprises LLC's mission is to sustain a legacy of growth and giving to the next generation, eternally. 

Journal 9/11/15 - Cooperation

There is only one right way to do things and or get things done. That's cooperation. That's God's way. By connecting spiritually with others we see that although we may seem very different, we are all on the same team. Even if you know your way is God's way, "my way or the highway" will never work.

Cooperation means that God's way will look different in the hands of each different person.

We operate in the spiritual realm. We have no idea nor control over how that translates in the physical realm. The struggle is to look beyond what eyes see to the spirits of people.

In 2016, with all the various movements going on, the only thing missing is cooperation. Boycotts, marches, voter drives, schools, armed resistance and economic movements all fail because they work separately. In 1965, the opposite was true. Not only were all those movements working simultaneously, they were all cooperative. At best, organizations worked together and supported each other. At worst, organizations/individuals who disagreed stayed out of each others way.

Malcolm X, Dr. King and Huey Newton became threats because of their approaches to universality. Huey Newton made great strides for the Panthers being open to working outside organizations/movements. Malcolm X and Dr. King made great efforts to work together before X's death. Dr. King was, of course, the master of cooperation. His network eventually became too big and so he was too dangerous. BLM and Shaun King have nothing to worry about. Modern day activists never have to fear assassination because they're all one trick ponies who refuse to work with each other.

Maybe they know that and would prefer a weakened movement where they get to live. Maybe by living longer they can be more effective. Maybe a weakened movement will eventually erode the old institutions of oppression. 

Invasion of the Malcolm Flexes: Hotep in Jail, On The Streets and In Your Community

In Jail/Prison I call them Malcolm Flexes. In the "Freeworld," we have Dr. Umar Johnson...

I can talk about spoiled broke kids all day every day for twelve years straight and I will still be amazed when I see them in the flesh. 

I called him Malcolm Flex because he would talk like he was ready to incite a riot (certainly not a revolution) when he was around the inmates. "I ain't workin for free. They can just take me to the hole now!" but when he was around the guards, "Yessir! Right away sir!"

What Malcolm Flexes do is bombard you with topical analyses of Black people's status in America. They provide little additional insight or solution to the problems. In the rare occasion they do provide solutions, they are are usually poor facsimiles of failed plans. They're only update to regurgitation of past failures is to "Wake everyone up". People like that are dangerous because someone may take them serious. Worst of all, it's our young men (18-25) with all the energy and no direction who take that as guidance and head down the wrong road. The irony of it all is that all that flexin' is just a racket, a new way for spoiled broke kids to keep shirking responsibility past adulthood.

Back to this yahoo:

He came to the work pod on a Friday afternoon and spent the entire weekend telling any inmate who would listen that he wasn't going to work for a few extra sandwiches. He was going to tell them straight up "Buck this!" Come Monday, he was working like a champ. Come to find out, he was just waiting on his paperwork to clear anyway. He ended up only working two days before he was released. He still spent $38 on store (must not have been his money). He yelled at the store man because they wouldn't sell him Seven danishes. (Who needs seven danishes for two days?) I asked him if he got his money back. He did. I told him to go home and buy some danishes at the real store. The crazy man was still hoarding sandwiches and chips the day he got released. They called him to pack it up right after lunch, the day after he got his store. I'm sure he tried to take as much jail food as possible home with him.

In two days to go from rants about how Store is a rip off and the food in jail is poison to hoarding jail food to take with you out into the free-world is typical Malcolm Flex behavior. Their goals are both to hide within the safety of the conscious community and to profit from the continued discrimination and oppression of Black America. These men and women are the infiltrators. They are in our jails, on the streets, in our communities. We pay them to tell us what's wrong with our communities. They do little more than make us feel better about our suffering. The irony is that some of the biggest profiteers constantly attack the church for doing the same things they do. Pacify us so they can continue to profit. 

We flock to cities like Atlanta as the Black American mecca, but the invasion has made it's way there as well. Dekalb county is the epitome of a Malcolm Flex messing up the community. To be clear there are far more than one in Dekalb County. I've seen how corrupt officials are in this county from top to bottom. We could have a good thing in Dekalb. Crooks steal pennies instead of building wealth.

They get there because we don't vet leadership. They stay because we pay as much attention to them as we do the career congressmen who camp out for 20 years or more running unopposed, dependent on the laziness and comfort of the general public. Just like the raggedy assed relationships so many of us find ourselves in, they only had to make us feel good for the first two weeks. After that, they can ruin our lives with stagnation indefinitely. Like a parasite.

In this time of change, a time of growth, we must be careful of the Malcolm Flexes. They are indeed parasites. They know they cannot exist in the new world. That's why tend to have some extremely conservative views when pressed. They are unable to survive without our support.That's why they constantly try to distract us from their blood sucking. And they do little more than exist. All their talk is for naught. There is very little action. There IS a lot of "passion." Just think National Action Network and the charisma of Al Sharpton. What has the multi-million dollar non-profit produced in 40 years? Diddly squat beyond piss poor resolutions, a bunch of Jaw Jacking, and, of course, millions of dollars.

The bottom line is they can't come.

You want to spot a Malcolm Flex? Just do stuff. They won't be there. They'll talk. They'll talk. They'll talk some some. But when it's time to roll, they will not show up. Their actions will produce little in the way of results, if anything at all. You find yourself wondering, just say "Let's go!" They won't go. Want to get rid of them? Move. Grow. Create. Build. They are the easiest parasites to get rid of but the hardest to spot. If you find yourself in the middle of a potential Flex Plan, ask yourself "Is it working?" If not, do something that works.

Breaking the cycle requires real commitment to change. Be different. Do different things. Find things that work. Grow. Move. And shake the Malcolm Flexes. They hate it when you do stuff.

Journal 8/11/15

Among my friends, I am the mayor of LA. I take pride in that. Among inmates. I am not. I take pride in that. The difference is the context, the meaning of mayor and who my friends are. In jail, there's a general distrust of authority figures and especially politicians. People expect authority figures and politicians to lie. So, being called mayor in jail is an honor reserved for liars. My friends are more hopeful. Despite the corruption in politics, they see me as someone they can trust. I value that. I will water those seeds with more truth.

That's another reason to fully disclose everything that's happened recently. Honesty works. I'll stick with it. Everything else is dead.

Getting a complete story out of an inmate is hell. Like pull teeth or mining something as rare as coltan but as worthless as a used rubber. The worst part is when you don't even ask for the story. The inmates come to you. It's like they're itching to gossip then they remember they are snitching on themselves...

In LA, we say "Mind your own business." Inmates will start spilling their guts then clam up midstory and tell you to mind your own business. I'm like motherfucker you started talking to me! Interrupting my damned book so you tell me some lies I'm not even interested in...

Journal 8/3/15 - The Crossroads

It's been a long time coming, but I know a change gone come... 



I am grateful and hopeful. I notice when we arrive at the crossroads the distraction increases. The temptation to go down the wrong paths or keep straight when a change is necessary grows stronger at the crossroads. We tend to know the right paths but the appeal fades as we approach it. Most people keep their head down and stick with the status quo, letting change pass by. Their hope is that the next crossroads, if there is a next one, will be easier. It won't.

The choices get harder. You know you should leave your job but you boss gives you a raise, so you stay. The next time you try to leave bills come so you stay a little longer but the bills pile up, higher and higher. Before you know it, they're throwing your retirement party and you're wondering where the time went.

It happens with toxic relationships. It happens in business. It happens in so many instances where drastic change is the only option for growth. The key is to recognize the crossroads as well as the choice which leads to growth. It's usually not  the easiest road that leads to growth. It's often the scariest road that does. It's most likely the longest road that leads to growth. When you choose wrong, another crossroads will pop right up. You can usually see the next crossroads from the one you're at if you're looking down the wrong road. That's a trick. You'll think you have another chance real quick so you choose that road. The thing is, the next crossroad will take you further off course. The quick and easy leads you down a long string bad choices that'll take far much longer to recover from than the time you thought you saved by taking a shortcut.

The hasty man always works twice as hard.
That's because he will spend twice as much energy repairing the damage that is always done by haste.Avoid the damage, take your time, make the right choice

Journal 8/2/15

Being in jail, hearing things like "You don't belong here" is not something everyone can handle. I have had to humble myself to be able to see what a blessing it is to have this strength, going where I "don't belong" and not only surviving but thriving.

Journal 8/1/15

Peace can be found in the midst of all kinds of noise, confusion, drama and turmoil. I would have preferred to find it in other circumstances but it's more important that I found it. I'm grateful.

Far Sighted About Sin (What I Learned About Sin, Hyperopia and Religion/Spirituality)

Far sighted individuals can see things that are far away but need help to see the things right in front of their face. I am near sighted. I need help to see whats far away from me. Most people grow more far sighted as they age. That's why we see older people wearing bifocals. They started out near sighted and grew far sighted as they grew older. Hyperopia (Farsightedness) is becoming more common in younger and younger people. That is, more young people are having trouble seeing what right in front of their face

Sin has a multitude of definitions. I like to define it as anything that goes against your personal principles/what you say you believe in. Many people say they believe in the Bible in a literal sense, which has a llllooooonnnnggg list of principles and they sin by going against the simplest rules. In a non-religious sense, a person can sin by breaking a promise, even (and Especially) a promise made to their self. Someone who says they are all about the money but doesn't save or invest wisely, is sinning. 

All of that is precursor to a brief Christian essay I read entitled Whose Mess? It talked about being Far Sighted About Sin. Specifically, the writer was cleaning up a public beach and complaining about whoever it was that left the trash in the sand. The essay referenced a story from Matthew 15 where the Pharisees were worried about the disciples washing their hands before eating. The famous quote from Jesus goes, "It's not what goes into our bodies that defiles us but what comes out." There's a deeper message there though. The Pharisees had dishonored other people's parents by insisting that they give 'The Church' its money instead of helping needy parents. As people still do, they got up in the traditions and forgot the principles that led to the traditions. It happens a lot. We start out on a journey to meet a principle and get distracted by the scenery so much that we soon forget where we were going. 

And today, we live in a culture of distraction. Too many of us LOVE to watch other people's sins to make us feel better about our journey. We've even forgotten to check ourselves. Maybe we can't even see ourselves anymore because we've truly become far sighted. We have NO idea about what's gong on with us. But we know which reality star is going to jail this week... We know who shot who, who's lying, who's cheating, who's stealing... We wake up each day with 'SMH' copied so we can paste it all day as we read the news and/or comb through our friend's statuses... Those of us who are spiritual try to stop shaking our heads and now we post 'Praying For You...'... And now we wake up looking for someone to 'Pray For'... But when's the last time we checked our journey out? 

Just like the Pharisees we got caught up with what's going on around us and neglected ourselves. What we say we believe in is the beginning of faith but our actions determine whether or not we still believe. Someone posted a FB status the other day about someone else posting bad news all day, everyday. There's a saying "Misery loves company." There's the tale of two wolves, one good/one evil where the one that lives is the one you feed. What are you feeding by feasting on the sins of other people each and every day? How do you expect your soul/spirit to grow strong off neglect and misery? 

At some point we begin to internalize the sin of others. Perhaps we had some imperfections before we lost our focus on self improvement. Either way, or simultaneously, our paradigm will shift. Our actions will stop reflecting the priorities we claimed, if they ever did. The sin we drank of others and the neglect of our own souls will begin to come out of our pores through our actions. A little vanity here and there since we love to look at others and say "I'm not THAT bad..." There's nothing harder than self improvement when you are surrounded by poor behavior. There's little motivation to improve, if you seem to be doing the best among your peer group. Remember, the best house in a bad neighborhood is a bad investment. 

No matter what we say we believe in, our challenge is to get better every day. When we become far sighted about sin, distracted by the sin of others, we cease to challenge ourselves. And we get away with it. We point to all the crap we see in the outside world and say, "See! At least I'm not like that." We don't discipline our children but at least we don't abuse them. Men talk down to the women in their lives but at least they don't beat them. Or they beat them and it's OK because we haven't killed them, yet. We don't step it up in church because the pastor is cheating on the first lady. Or, we don't go to church at all because we're better than those church people. Or we don't believe anymore because we're good people anyway. But eventually, instead of becoming better people, we become good enough people. Plus, those stupid Christians keep shooting up churches/bombing abortion clinics/hanging Black people/beating up gays/Muslims. We don't do any of that so...

If you want to be spiritual (no church, no organized religion) it is certainly possible to connect/commune with God and become a spirit, that is to become a better person. It is also highly unlikely. As often as followers of organized religion fail to it's less likely to happen than it would be if you chose to use an established framework. The key is to remember that it's just a framework. And all institutions have become corrupt. The solution is not to abandon everything but to build/rebuild better frameworks. If a church is corrupt, start a new one or fix the one you're in. There's no excuse to do nothing. 

No matter what your paradigm is, a positive outlook requires you to be good and get better every day. If you aren't doing that, you're sinning. Even in organized religion, the listed of sins are just details of what a lack of growth looks like. We've become so focused ont he details that we forgot we were supposed to be growing. Be careful of becoming far sighted. Keep growing. Keep learning. 

Ignore the Prophets, Lose the War

What a revelation!

An historical account of the gospels pointed out the political perspective of Israel at the time. For the Jews, salvation didn't mean spiritual freedom, it meant conquering Rome. They were looking for war. Historically, many of the prophets had actually participated in acts of war. Moses didn't fight but sent plagues on the Egyptians and tricked the army into drowning themselves in the Red Sea. Elisha and Elijah stood on battlefields and called to power of God to conquer enemies. The previous King of Kings, David, conquered armies 10 times the size of Israel.

One prevalent and recurring theme in the Bible is, the prophets deliver God's promise and humans get it all the way wrong. Battle after battle was lost following the mob's ignorance of prophets' warnings. And it still happens today. Today we have prophets and those prophets get turned into soundbites.  More immediately, it's more attractive to follow the reactionary/emotional responses. Then, manipulators can turn those sound bites into whatever they want the message to be instead of an unfiltered message.

These manipulators turned Martin Luther King Jr into a Civil Rights crusader. They turned Malcolm X into a mere rabble-rouser. These men were nothing less than prophets. They each took the information provided by their respective religions and saw the messages in between the lines. 50 years after their deaths, we have ignored their pleas. (Prophets tend to plea because they are well aware of our tendency to ignore them.) 

Our tendency is to ignore prophecy because it doesn't fit into our limited worldview. And/or, we believe in something so strongly, we refuse to accept anything that may distract or deter our focus on what we believe. We don't believe in the same thing as the prophet or we don't believe in anything at all. What seems even worse than those two scenarios is when what we believe is only slightly different than the prophet believes. We are so distracted these days by minuscule details we will miss movements and opportunities just because of a minor detail.

And don't let the prophet may have some separate personal issues. We are so judgmental or seeking to avoid responsibility, we will jump all over a prophet with even the smallest personal flaw. And that's just it. The prophet usually calls us to action and responsibility. In this day and age, we are satisfied with passionate Tweets/Instagram messages/Facebook posts. We pat ourselves on the back vote voting every four years (even if/when we miss midterms). Don't let us have donated a few clothes/hours to the less fortunate! We don't have to do shit else. We can afford to ignore any and every other call to action that comes. We've done enough. 

Except that, with each more gruesome incident, it's more and more apparent that we haven't done enough. We are inching closer and closer to the amount of pain which will force massive action. We must be careful to choose the proper action.

"Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil." -1 Thessalonians 5:20-22

We have to pay attention to the messages re are receiving. The proper path is out there. The prophets are still speaking. We must use ALL of our discernment to hear the message of the prophets. Prophets always offer solutions. Prophets will not make emotional pleas. (For the slow, they may speak passionately but emotion won't be the focus of their message.) Prophets are not profits. The message is always free. Prophets usually say things that are unpopular.

Be clear. A movement involves change. A revolution involves changes in a drastic way. The unpopular becomes popular. The abnormal becomes normal.

Start paying attention to the prophets and watch the world change for the better.

Raising The Level Of The Company You Keep

My facebook friend's list is extensive. There are very few 'friends' I haven't met in person. Oddly, I tend to run into those people after friending them on FB. It is truly collection of people I have met through my extensive travels.

In my younger days, I would have tried to hang with as many of those friends. As an adult, with a much stronger commitment to my priorities, I know that is not a great idea. Better than that, it's a horrible idea.

When I was younger I just liked the energy of being around different people. It didn't matter what kind of energy it was as long as I felt it. That has led me on an interesting journey. Today, I am more focused. The direction I head in is much more important. My 'friends' are all headed in a good direction. Everyone is not headed in MY direction. Even if you are on my level, or above, if you're not going my way, your energy could be a distraction to me. I have enough distractions.

Then there is the question of being on my level.
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. In organizations/groups/social circles the only way to be on the same level is to lower one's standards. We tend to get caught up in the big fish small pond scenario. We stand out when we hang out with smaller people. We forget that we are stuck in the small pond with big dreams. My realization came in the midst of being compared to someone I considered a low-life. I had been a genius among morons when I knew my genius is much greater than
that. I am a man among men. I stand out in any crowd. It's worth it for me to pursue crowds of higher standards since I know I will continue to stand out.

In real estate, a good buy is the worst house in a good neighborhood. Some of us make the bad buy of the best house in a bad neighborhood. In the good neighborhood, the property values will continue to rise in the short term. In the bad neighborhood, the values will drop and may never rise, even in the long term...



Check your neighborhood.

My journey has taken me to the lowest of lows. I thrived. I have thrived in the middle. As I continue my forward and upward momentum, I continue to thrive. However, my momentum has slowed as I have tried to raise up people around me at the expense of my own progress and at the expense of their progress as well. By not moving on, I was blocking the way for
people around me to follow my path.

To be specific, I fell for the "book smart vs street smart" bullshit so many people came up with when threatened by my intelligence. To put people at ease, I lowered myself. I even ventured out to become "street smart." At the end of That journey, being "street smart" is really dumb. Or, at least, the way I went about it was. Almost as dumb as joining a gang. I became affiliated with criminals.

It was when my affiliations with other intellectuals became threatened when I noticed that I had weakened myself to essentially fit in...

The worst part of lowering one's self is not the loss of identity or lack of growth. It's the cost to the community at large. In addition to losing friends/associations, my community lost a leader for great while. I see the effects of my disappearance all over. In my family, in the family I was meant to build. In my community. In my nation. In so many places I see the my world missing out on its potential because I have been missing out on mine. Even now that I am rebuilding so many pieces of my life, I still have so much more work to do because of the work I didn't do when I was being less than me.

And I see this all over in so many areas. The tendency is to lower one's self to match the company we have instead of finding new company. By halting our own growth we are validating the stagnation of the people around us. The saddest part is saying we believe in abundance and growth and not allowing our own self to grow. Our world won't grow if we don't.

So I commit myself to growth so whole hearted that many associations will pass away to make room for new company. I'll get out of my own way so that the people around me can grow on their own. Don't worry! I'll leave plenty of bread crumbs and detailed notes along the way.

I'm just going where I should be so that my family, my community, my nation and my country can go where they will be as well.

It's time to break some cycles...

Leave Marshawn Lynch Alone!!!

Most days I marvel at how far I've come at remaining calm and positive. Except...
...when I'm driving. When I'm driving in LA, I just want to run some of these drivers off the road. I'm fresh in the door from once again contemplating ways to get away with performing the PIT move on a car while doing 70 in the fast lane. LA has some of the most selfish drivers in the city. These drivers want to go 45 in the fast lane because they're text messaging and driving until you pass (or attempt to pass) them. Once that happens, they think it's Fast and Furious and their Toyota Prius is now a 10 second drift car. (Woosah!!!) That was my rant.

This week was pretty good.

I went to the Valley to help Matthew find an apartment. It wasn't that bad. The Valley is still a pit of despair    but I had a good time. AND I escaped. I got to golf and eat good food. And I finally got a wheel alignment!

Je parle francais tres bien!

I love my French teacher. She's my type of hippie. She drinks wine and lusts after MUCH younger men. She's into participation and pronounciation. And because I keep getting As on the tests, I'm excused from doing homework. My type of hippie. As opposed to the ones that smell bad and try to force their beliefs on everyone else. Tres mauvais!

Which brings us to Marshawn Lynch. I don't watch post-game interviews. However, I get to see the highlights online and/or via social media. When I first saw Marshawn Lynch refusing to talk, I thought it was amusing. By this year's Super Bowl, I'm tired of it. Not tired at all of him. I'm tired of the NFL and the press even bothering to try.
And then I found out the NFL is making him speak. WHY???
There  are 56 players on an NFL team. That's 111 OTHER players to talk to other than Marshawn Lynch. Hell, that's about 44 starters. Everyone is not out going. Why worry about 1 man when you have TWENTY TWO starters to choose from on each team? WTF

Marshawn Lynch is not an asshole. He's articulate. He has a good sense of humor. And, most important, he gives back to his community. He has a REAL charity. Not a tax write off like most people. Let him give what he gives in his own way. Fam 1st is much more valuable than any soundbite.

I hope this is not a Craig Hodges situation. The difference might be Lynch's value to the Seahawks. In general, NFL running backs are becoming expendable. Marshawn Lynch is not the typical NFL running back. Beast Mode is real. Marshawn Lynch is ALL the running backs Seattle will need win the Super Bowl. (Prediction!)

But then again, there are 55 other players on the Seahawks and Lynch is only one man. One man who means a whole lot to his community...

So please NFL! Leave Marshawn Lynch alone.

Decision 2015!!!

It's hard to believe three years have passed since Decision 2012. It seems like some much has happened.Either way, election day is upon us again and I have some more decisions to make.

I have been thinking about my dating life since coming back to Los Angeles, it's different than I expected to say the least. I have a lot more alone time than I imagined having when I first left Georgia. And that time has led me to reminiscence over my dating history.

I've been a pretty good boyfriend/partner. I've never cheated. I do flirt, A LOT. But it's probably not in me to cheat. I don't think I have the time.

I've come to realize that no matter how casual the relationship, it's still a relationship and I barely want to sit on the phone and chit chat with my girlfriend, so i definitely don't want to chit chat with a side piece. Think about bootie calls. In theory, it sounds nice. You call at 11:30 (The bootie call hour), ask for some sex, and you get some sex, no strings attached. But there are strings! It's a racket. What they don't mention in the description is the number of calls at 5:30 in the afternoon (or some other ungodly hour when I could be doing something better). They don't mention the inordinate amount of chit chatting that is requisite in a booty call relationship. I'm already trying to minimize the chit chat so side pieces AKA cheating won't work. And I ain't paying....

Hell, I ain't even getting a hotel room, which probably means I"m not going to have much sex at all until I move out of mom's house... SMH. My maximum expenditure in direct relation to sex is condoms. I don't count dates as paying because I usually only take women places I was going to go alone to anyway.

Shout out to the genius who wrote "Dr. J was compelled to say something on this subject because he couldn’t grasp a non paying participant on a date calling the payer cheap. "
Cheap is placing ANY economic value on human interaction. 
But I digress. Back to my decision.


It's simple.
I'm getting married soon. And like Andree told me, I'm not wasting my time.
Men and women have standards they wish to acquire. However, when it comes to dating, they put those standards to the side for some of the most ridiculous dating rules. For instance, I've scanned past a GANG of online dating profiles of women who list  their relationship goals as "casual/nothing serious..." After talking to them though, they want to be married. Why do they do that? That's the rule. Don't seem too serious. You might scare a lot of guys away.
Fuck that.
You want to get married, say so. I'll go out on a limb and guess that every woman only wants to marry one man. Why be worried about scaring away a lot of men? Isn't the goal to scare away most men and filter it down to one? If you want casual, say so. No need to waste time pretending to be in a serious relationship when you may not have time for one.
Be true to your priorities and the Law of Abundance will give you what you want. Fear and dishonesty will bring you the opposite of your priorities. Don't be scared of getting everything you've ever wanted. I've known what I wanted for a long time. I've been told to not pursue it. I've been distracted from what I want. I've been afraid. I missed out on a few good women... So, I'm going to always say I want to be married until I'm married. I'm always going to talk about marriage even after I'm married because my wife and I will always work on our marriage. I'm working on my marriage now alone and, hopefully, my wife is too. And, one day soon, we'll work on it together.

So, since once it's said, I'm obligated to live it. I'm getting married. Soon. And I probably know her already. #nolongerdistracted #focused #brave

P.S. - The wedding's going to be in New Orleans. (Some things never change)

The Agenda

Marching is fine. It's a symbol of unity. A symbol that the people are dissatisfied and feeling under represented.

                What we are missing is an agenda. I was initially distraught at so many people I look up to repeating March, March, March and wished they would stop saying march and get to work. However, as it seems to be the case so often lately I must be the only one willing to do the work. So, since no one else is willing, I have some ideas...

                Police brutality in America, especially New York City, has become expected. The deaths of black men young and old at the hands policemen across the country has nearly become the expected end to police brutality. As tragic as these recent events have been, what is most disheartening has been the response by the 'representatives' of these affected neighborhoods. The severe lack of representation in Ferguson, MO and other cities like Tompkinsville, Staten Island is devastating. That there can be a city like Ferguson where the vast majority of its citizens aren't being represented should be a signal of distress across the country.   What the people demand is proper representation in the pursuit of justice. These citizens have been begging for representation long before this year. It took these tragic events to catalyze them into the streets.  Now is the time to act. Attorney General Holder is holding a civil rights investigation. The White House must come out of that investigation with some concrete actions. The following is what the citizens of this country demand and I expect:

1. There will be immediate elections in cities, like Ferguson, where the officials are obviously not able to represent the interests of the citizens of the city
2. There will be empowerment of organizations like the Staten Island Community Board to "police the police," to do the job they were created to do, represent smaller communities within larger cities like New York.
3. There will be mandatory body cameras on policeman all across the country. 
4. There will be election reform across the country to make it easier for citizens to vote and virtually impossible for any other interest to restrict voter access.
5. There will be a, new, national committee focused on collecting data to ensure the above actions are being fulfilled.

This is just the beginning. There will be more specific demands as the people continue to see holes in their representation that need to be filled. We will continue to march until justice is served. Justice can no longer be subjective. Today justice is not available to all of America's citizens. We must make it so. It is for each of us a sacred duty.

The time to act is now. We have the freedom to ask, as well as the freedom to act. We will be free.

Nicki Minaj Only Apologizes to Jews...

The title of the article that started this was - '

No Surprise here: Nicki Minaj apologizes to Jews for her most recent video'

It's just funny. This weekend it occurred to me to download the mixtapes Nicki Minaj put out before her studio album. It made me sad for her. A man with her talent may have also had to dumb down to get to her level of pop stardom. But he wouldn't have had to go through all that she has. (If you haven't listened to her early mixtapes, LISTEN before you respond.)




What the article (if you can call it that) missed was Nicki's history of being a provocateur. And we always fall for it. Or, that is, she always gets the appropriate amount of attention. [Sidenote : As long as ANYONE named Kardashian gets payed for being alive, I CERTAINLY support Nicki Minaj despite her hi-jinks] This generation has a ridiculously short attention span AND we have been seriously jaded. Add to that being a female artist fighting to be heard at even 70% the level of a male artist and you have Nicki Minaj. You have Looking Ass Nigga. You have Anaconda. And know you have 'Only'. These singles aren't the pop ballads that comprise 50% of her studio albums and 0% of her mixtapes. They are the solid hip hop tracks that wouldn't get a first listen without the surrounding controversies.

And now the serious stuff. The article that brought this song to my attention mentioned a preference for the sensitivities of Jews over African Americans. I will note that as I post this the video that is offensive to Jews is available online in its entirety and the album cover that was offensive to African Americans is only available in reference to the controversy on Wikipedia and within articles like mine. In this instance, I would consider that argument void.

In other instances however, the article brought up some valid points. The talking heads that represent the Jewish community do get a better response than other communities, especially ours. In fact, all lobbies from other communities get a better response than ours. And that is because we don't have a lobby. We don't have an ADL. We don't have a Rotary Club. We don't have a rainbow flag. All we have are separate individuals trying to be heard with no force behind our words.

Until we do, our artists will have to continue operating like Nicki Minaj and others if they want success and we have nothing to say about it.