Decision 2015!!!

It's hard to believe three years have passed since Decision 2012. It seems like some much has happened.Either way, election day is upon us again and I have some more decisions to make.

I have been thinking about my dating life since coming back to Los Angeles, it's different than I expected to say the least. I have a lot more alone time than I imagined having when I first left Georgia. And that time has led me to reminiscence over my dating history.

I've been a pretty good boyfriend/partner. I've never cheated. I do flirt, A LOT. But it's probably not in me to cheat. I don't think I have the time.

I've come to realize that no matter how casual the relationship, it's still a relationship and I barely want to sit on the phone and chit chat with my girlfriend, so i definitely don't want to chit chat with a side piece. Think about bootie calls. In theory, it sounds nice. You call at 11:30 (The bootie call hour), ask for some sex, and you get some sex, no strings attached. But there are strings! It's a racket. What they don't mention in the description is the number of calls at 5:30 in the afternoon (or some other ungodly hour when I could be doing something better). They don't mention the inordinate amount of chit chatting that is requisite in a booty call relationship. I'm already trying to minimize the chit chat so side pieces AKA cheating won't work. And I ain't paying....

Hell, I ain't even getting a hotel room, which probably means I"m not going to have much sex at all until I move out of mom's house... SMH. My maximum expenditure in direct relation to sex is condoms. I don't count dates as paying because I usually only take women places I was going to go alone to anyway.

Shout out to the genius who wrote "Dr. J was compelled to say something on this subject because he couldn’t grasp a non paying participant on a date calling the payer cheap. "
Cheap is placing ANY economic value on human interaction. 
But I digress. Back to my decision.


It's simple.
I'm getting married soon. And like Andree told me, I'm not wasting my time.
Men and women have standards they wish to acquire. However, when it comes to dating, they put those standards to the side for some of the most ridiculous dating rules. For instance, I've scanned past a GANG of online dating profiles of women who list  their relationship goals as "casual/nothing serious..." After talking to them though, they want to be married. Why do they do that? That's the rule. Don't seem too serious. You might scare a lot of guys away.
Fuck that.
You want to get married, say so. I'll go out on a limb and guess that every woman only wants to marry one man. Why be worried about scaring away a lot of men? Isn't the goal to scare away most men and filter it down to one? If you want casual, say so. No need to waste time pretending to be in a serious relationship when you may not have time for one.
Be true to your priorities and the Law of Abundance will give you what you want. Fear and dishonesty will bring you the opposite of your priorities. Don't be scared of getting everything you've ever wanted. I've known what I wanted for a long time. I've been told to not pursue it. I've been distracted from what I want. I've been afraid. I missed out on a few good women... So, I'm going to always say I want to be married until I'm married. I'm always going to talk about marriage even after I'm married because my wife and I will always work on our marriage. I'm working on my marriage now alone and, hopefully, my wife is too. And, one day soon, we'll work on it together.

So, since once it's said, I'm obligated to live it. I'm getting married. Soon. And I probably know her already. #nolongerdistracted #focused #brave

P.S. - The wedding's going to be in New Orleans. (Some things never change)

Decision 2012!!!

 Decision 2012!!!

This is an important year on so many levels. There is a moderately important election going on. It's the Olympics. I'm building myself as well as my businesses. Oh and the planet is set to explode at any minute. Thanks for THAT news Mayans! And Mexicans wonder why no one likes them.

 No time for distractions.

With that in mind, I gave up drinking. Six months in, I realizing drinking may not have been my biggest distraction. For nearly as long as I’ve been drinking, maybe longer, I’ve been infatuated with women.

I am a flirt! Big flirt.

I love women. Since I started trying to hump at 3, it’s been nearly always about women. All of them. All the time!

Fast forward to today. I’m considering slowing down. I’ve always wanted to be married and have children. As a child of divorce, though, I MUST get it right the first and only time. So many ways to go… So many distractions… So many options… And, still, I thought I came close to being married. Thought! What’s a man to do? Being in my 30’s is better than I could have ever imagined. It is a smorgasbord of beautiful women. All up to par, and successful or knocking on the door… I’m paralyzed by the enormity of it all.

But I must decide. I am not a tyrant and I will not take advantage. I have before and I am so apologetic to those women I did not help but, instead, used. I will not do that anymore. Or, at least, I determined to be clearer about my decision. That didn’t work out so well. So now this is my announcement to the world. My decision in 2012, officially…

I am and will remain single (And enjoy EVERY moment of it) until a woman convinces me otherwise. And by otherwise I mean marriage.

One more time, for the hard at reading:

            The only exclusivity I believe in is marriage. Until my engagement, I will NOT be anyone’s beau, boyfriend, or any other kind of trick word for exclusive dating. If a boyfriend/exclusivity is mandatory en route to marriage for you, I’m sad to have missed getting to know you. But not too sad!
            I’m too busy enjoying my life. Single. 

Letter to Stormy

Excuse me miss. If you don’t mind, I just want to talk to you for a minute. I saw you last night at the movies. I know you were with your boyfriend. I was out there after the movie when you two started arguing. I was awestruck when he started choking you and telling you to shut up. When he told you he hated you I thought it was over then. I would have approached you then but you two left together.

            I have to tell you how beautiful you are. I couldn’t get you out of my mind after that. I have to say something now. I usually leave girls with boyfriends alone but last night was like a cry for help. I want to help. I want to show you there are better men out there. I am one of them and, if you let me, I can be better than him.

            I went home and stayed up all night thinking –“why did you leave with him?” It came to me early in the morning. Obviously, you must not think there is anything better out there. So, you see, I had to approach you. Here I am! I’m better. Can’t you tell?

            Just look at my hands. Can’t you see the difference? If he is what you like, let me upgrade you. If you can’t see it now, just give me a try. You don’t even have to decide now. Keep me a secret and see us both for a short while. It won’t take long anyway for you to see I’m better.

            Oh what lovely skin! Give me some time alone with you to show you. By the time we can go out in public together, I’ll have you convinced. Then when the world sees us… it’ll be obvious you made the right choice. You chose the better man.

            If you liked that, you’ll love me. And if you loved him, you’ll worship me. Just say the word. I’ll show right now if you like.

            Trust me. It’ll be beyond anything you’ve ever experienced

You ready?

Good!

Let’s go…

… See! I told you! How did you like that? Don’t say a word. I know you’re still in shock. Rest your pretty little head. You’ll need it. The best is yet to come.

            Is that shock?

            I bet you thought no one could ever touch you like he did, let alone be better. Was that the quickest you’ve ever blacked out? And that wasn’t even my best.

            I just wanted you to see how easy it is for me to do better than him. I dot all my eyes and cross all my T’s. Who walks around with one black eye? A loser that’s who. All my girls get two black eyes. And those wonderful teeth… we’ll make an exact replica now so we can be ready with new teeth whenever I slap all the taste out your mouth

            See what I saved you from. The mediocrity. The half assedness. Everytime he apologized the next day and you forgave him. Forget those apologies. He can save that for his mama. It’s her fault anyway for raising a half assed niggah. But no worries! You’re with a winner now baby!

            Are you glad I rescued you from that situation? He couldn’t keep up. Once I saw his half assedness and I saw that you liked that, I knew you deserved more. I’m so happy to be the one to give you more than you ever wanted. And I’m going to give you so much more. If we are going to continue this we need to handle some paper work first. That way we can handle those pesky people who think I’m abusing you. We’re just expressing our love, our way. So here is a consent form. And you may want to consider a will (with me in it of course). After all, I love hard.

The previous anecdote was based on a real event. A girl named Stormy got choked in front of a crowd of her peers. We were in high school. I found out through the grapevine that she stayed with her boyfriend at the time. I was shocked and heartbroken.

Years later I realized that was not an isolated incident. Domestic violence has grown seemingly exponentially since I was in high school. The numbers among high school students are discouraging. Something must be done now.

                         Although I made light of the situation, I abhor domestic violence. Men and women who think violence is the way to express love are sad. It is my hope that my parody will entice women and men to discuss these issues open and honestly.

This is a serious serious issue. If you know someone in an abusive relationship

Talk to them. These are not the relationships we need to stay out of. Quite the opposite, instead of gossiping about everything else that goes on, we must direct our energy at ending abusive relationships.

            People who know me know how passionate I am and how involved I will get when faced with abusive relationships. That passion needs to be spread. This is one cycle I will break even if I have to bust some knee caps to do so.

Please help.

Talk.

Fight abuse.

Most of all, Love, each other and yourselves – Jerry Springer.

Church Sex

Church Sex

Church is the new speed dating. Church is better than Tagged, It’s better than Eharmony, It’s better than the club, And dare I say, it’s better than FB. And there IS sex. Lots of hot steamy sex.

I’m not exactly sure how it works but it does. Isn’t that the way church is anyway? No details. Just go and let the spirit move you. Remain open. Stay cool calm and patient. And let the blessings just rain down on you.
You don’t have to dress up, just come as you are. You don’t even need a job or money. You don’t really need to have your shit together at all. Church people like to fix other people.
But there is no faking church. No jumping up and running into the first church on your block. NO parking lot pimping in front of church. The key to church dating is honesty. There is no talking about sex specifically but in all other areas complete honesty and full disclosure are required at all times.
That means you must practice your actual religion. If you aren’t looking to get married, you must say so. Your church will provide people with loose dating morals for you. You must find a church that fits your needs. Once you have found that right fit, join something in the church and let the dating begin.
Just remember, no naked-dicking!

Word Of The Day - Virgin

Word Of The Day
Virgin

Every one knows the standard definition of virgin. But the is also an expansion on that definition. Because of this definition it is vital to share. The American Heritage defines virgins as: 1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse. (There are variations but we will focus on this one.)

Sexual intercourse or sex is the ultimate intimate experience. In the past few decades, sex has become increasingly casual. From exploration to playing hide and go get it to running trains to little kids having dick sucking parties (Its real, I saw it on Oprah), these children grow up into adults who don’t value sex as the experience that it is. In increasing number, we are encountering adults who have missed out on the essence of sex. These people have sexual experience but they haven’t experienced sex. They are virgins.
Because they haven’t experienced sex, virgins have no sexual identity. Virgins may have had sex but they aren’t sexual people. They aren’t sexpots, studs, sluts, whores, slores, sexy, hoes, prudes, stiff, cold fish or anything sexual. (Well maybe there are a few hoes in there…) Sadly, these women (and men) have largely never experienced orgasms or even the essential intimacy that is included in the sexual experience. SMH
Shout out to the brilliant explorer who discovered this expanded definition. I know people are increasingly private, so I won’t name names unless they are volunteered. (Or unless they deserve it!) I could write volumes on virgins but this was only a prelude to another train of thought. And with that:


The Virgin Curse

The virgin has been a prize since the days when we were all virgins. Oddly, the virgin was not the prize most of us sought. Even in college, when virgins were all stacked up and ready for the slaughter, my sexual A.D.D. didn’t allow me to focus on the prize of all prizes. I (I stole it and I don’t know that “the originator” wants to be associated with this) even took to expanding the term. [see above] I passed by quite a few prizes in my life simply because I didn’t have the time. It occurred to me now that I had time to reflect. No regrets but I do wonder about a new phenomenon known as The Virgin Curse.
In my reflections, I notice that those who did have time (to chase virgins) turned out to be not so nice. The results…MAJOR damage.
The damage done to any woman scorned is major. The damage done to a virgin…MAJOR.
I have been remembering some of the “virgins” I’ve encountered in my life. Up to twenty years later, ”the ghosts of conquests past” have some stories to tell. But that’s not what this is about. This is about fulfillment.
The others took a lot. They took your innocence. They took your time. They took your hearts. And they left you. They left you all alone. They left you with children. They left you burned, scorned, used and abused. You are all definitely different now.
I wondered about a “virgin curse”. I asked myself if I had to pay for the sins of others. For passing you by and passing you on to charlatans. At one time I placed you so high up on a pedestal, I thought you were out of my reach. Others came and knocked you down. Knocked you down and knocked you up. Knocked you around. But you got back up.
So I will fulfill. Because you’re still here. I still can’t have you, my virgins. Maybe I was never meant to. I never had to fix you. Because you’re still you. I was just sent to remind you. After all these years. After all the tears. You’re still here. Pedestal and all! I you need a boost to get back up there…just call.