Don't Rape

The problem with Cornell is a problem with rape (I mean) frat culture. It's the fact that my first thought was to protect the young women and warn them about these parties. But we should be warning young men. Your boys can get you in trouble. Promising you sex from unwilling women is a red flag. Promising sex from a woman or women you've never spoken to is a red flag. And the red flag is YOU WILL GO TO JAIL. Rapists don't have good time in jail. For young women, do not choose large and wild parties as the moment to sleep with your boyfriend. I'm sure you've been warned to watch your drinks, don't drink too much, stay with your friends... All of those warnings make tired. What if you're a Black woman? You have to remember all those rules PLUS all the Black rules, plus the don't get kidnapped rules... It's just a lot of avoiding victimization and not enough prosecution and crime prevention. When it comes to rape, its too much "Don't get raped." and no "Don't rape." It's the effort that went into defaming Kobe Bryant's rape victim. Because that was rape. Admitting that hopefully helps some young man avoid a similar situation. Consent is consent the entire time. The whole 15 minutes. Anyone can withdraw consent at any point and you have to respect that. Nothing else matters. A woman can be a porn star, she can be the queen of gang bangs. She can still say no. At any time. This started as a post on Facebook wondering if it will even be published. Because in rape culture, you can't say Don't Rape. It makes the rapists feel bad so they'll report you. But they won't report their frat brother raping a woman behind a dumpster... And that's the problem. Let me break down some more detail. I've been to parties. I've been to wild parties. I've been to frat parties. I've been to drug parties. I've been to sex parties. I've seen all kinds of people get "White Girl Wasted". I've been "White Girl Wasted". I can say, focusing on sex parties, the consents starts at the door. There's an overt agreement, not impliedimplied, not assumed, that there will be sex. That doesn't mean everyone is guaranteed sex. Men and have to consent. And they typically take time to make sure they consent. I've seen women point to the men in the room, "I'll sleep with you, you, you, not you, you. And no one else." And everyone is cool with that. For the most part.
I know a lot of Fraternity, Sorority and non-members wish their parties were sex parties. They are not. If every single person in the party does not openly consent to it being a sex party, then it's not a sex party. It can become a sex party. All the non-consenting people can leave and then the sex party can continue. But consent remains and to be honest the parties I've been to, the remaining people have largely paced themselves. "White Girl Wasted" is not allowed at real consenting sex parties.

And these are the REAL conversations we need to have before sending virgins off to college so we can stop getting Rapists, tricks and incells back.

I didn't realize how special my parents' talk was. It didn't seem too deep at the time but my father taught me to not be afraid to ask for what I wanted. My mother flat out told me "Don't Rape" and poined out that trying to get women drunk was rape. She told me if I got girls drunk, they would throw up on me. I'm not rying o pretend I was perfect. I didn't get it until I was making out with a young lady in college. We had been drinking. I really liked this girl so I was excited to be in that position. Too excited to notice that she had been drinking too much. It wasn't until she jumped up and went to the bathroom to throw up that it hit. She wiped er mouth and left me. I talked to her later and she made it clear she wasn't interested. I like tho think I was saved from a dangerous and horrible situation. After that, I was definitely more cautious. It was even much later in life that I realized a lot of men's parents didn't talk to them at all let alone specifically discouraging rape and encouraging communication and responsibility.

So, in that spirit, let me make it clear. DON'T RAPE. Don't get women drunk. Don't roofie women. Don't run trains.(becuase YUCK anyway) I've been in rooms with men and women who maybe were too nervous/timid to ask for sex and been the one to get it poppin. I've been in rooms where one or two of the men or women weren't interested and we didn't do anything. I've never told/not told a woman that a bunch (50?!?!) of my friends were waiting to come after me.

With all these rules and limitations I put on myself and the people around me, I've still had an above average sexual history (99.999% for free). I've still helped my friends hook up consentually with a decent number of women (and men). That's just to say. There is still plenty of sex to be had the honest way. Maybe, even more. Just don't rape.

It's not necessary. It's wildly wrong. And, maybe (hopefully), one day, you could even go to jail. And if/when that happens, THEN I'll tell you how not to raped.

Three Dead Babies You Don't Care About

I keep seeing posts and messages about 3 innocent babies being killed and no one cares Let respond to everyone at once. You Are Right. No one cares. Not even you. Because, what does it mean to care? What are you going to do about it? Nothing. And let's look at what you have already done. Nothing. You didn't follow the trial. You didn't say anything when it became clear that, once again, prosecutors failed to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the person they picked was guilty. You didn't care when when this lady, or any lady, was going through post partem depression. You didn't care then. You don't care now. You won't care when it's in your home. You didn't care before the trial because the baseline reality is that mothers have been murdering their children at same rate whether or not the news/social media covers it. How do I know you don't care? We live in a world where (via social media) you tell me what you care about daily. I know a lot of people and have a pretty good memory. I've seen people make decisions about crime and children that prove they don't care. You don't care that innocent people are often incarcerated with or, mostly, without trials. You don't care that 90% of convictions are from plea deals, which means that prosecutors often don't even go to trial. Which means that often they aren't even prepared. They likely settle cases the same way you do on social media, by arguing with very little facts. The only diffence is they do it with smaller audiences. I've seen how you handle some of the most horrific crimes, including sexual assault of minors, even in your own homes. You really don't care. I will tell you what I care about. We live in this world, in this country. Women are suffering. And whether you use these exact words or not, the common response is "Bitch get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich." Mental health is such a problem in this country, we are literally have ticking time bombs, sleeper cells of school shooters in nearly every city across this continent. No one cares a bit. Neither about the young people who are a danger to themselves and others, nor about the children we WILL lose soon because no one is doing anything to stop it. Someone tried to pose abortion as a Cause of Death for young people. Ask those people what they're doing about the young people who are already here and in danger. Ask them what they're doing to help children who are being forced to be here and mothers being forced to give birth after they're already here and suffering. You might hear a lot of words but the real answer will be nothing. As a person who is about young people and who tries to work with and be around only people doing good, a lot of this fake talk is hurtful. I know social media provides a ton of opportunities to be fake, pretend and play act. But some things you can't play with. This definitely one of the top things. I don't play with mental health. I don't with kids. You say it's about the kids. I don't believe you. Prove it.

What I Learned from a Bunch of Children going to celebrate Pride

Wisdom 7

Hebrews 4

Mark 10

Now it doesn't matter that I was late to church. I am home.

First off, those kids were too young to be going to Pride. Not questioning their choices, but making a statement on the adult nature of some of the activities at Pride. Only in Atlanta. (And New York, Miami, LA,...)

Anyhow, I was wondering what kind of conversation would take place if one happened to occur between these kids and I. Would I have to explain how my spirituality coincided with my acceptance of their choices. I came up with this.

By fellowshipping with different individuals based on one ore more similar beliefs, we learn about Love at its truest essence. That is exactly what those children were doing. They found strength in their group. That group should first lead them to learn to Love themselves then each other. Once they learn to Love one another they learn to Love people who are outside their group. Any religion/ideology/church that doesn't teach that is false.

Journal 8/26/15 - "Love Yo Self" The Gospel Musical (Dream Sequence)

Craziest dream!

Shalanda was escorting me to my church (a conglomeration of St Agatha's, Lady of Lourdes and Holy Name) except it didn't look like my church once inside. It was more like The Faith Dome with wooden pews. At center stage there was a woman who looked like Tenita Scott. I was far enough away from her not to notice she had no legs until someone came to lift her up and sit her in front of a piano... That song!

"Kill my self, na-uh

That's not what I'm going to do

I got too much living to do

Kill yoself, no-no

That's just not the way to go

He loves you more than you'll ever know..."

I woke up from that dream so inspired. I had no idea how much death, murder and suicide would plague 2016. There is such heavy a burden on so many people. Although I believe in the after life, we as a community have a lot of work to do on earth. We all have a purpose here. It's a major step to discover your purpose and should be your dying mission to fulfill that purpose.

Living well is the best revenge against the spirits who wish to convince you to give up.

Kill my self, na-uh

That's not what I'm going to do

I got too much living to do

Kill yoself, no-no

That's just not the way to go

He loves you more than you'll ever know..."

Love yo self yeah, yeah
That's what you have to do
You got too much living to do
Love your life, say yes
Always do your very best
Don't compare what's yours to all the rest