The Joys Of Niggardom

Quite often, when discussing niggers and niggardom, I have been overly critical. Let me try a different approach. Let's talk about the benefits of niggardom. When done correctly, a good nigger can lead an easy, responsibility free, and perhaps (in a very few cases) rich life!

Let’s look at just a few of the reasons why niggardom has spread across race lines and even nationality. (Believe me there are French niggers and Australian niggers and even Swiss niggers.) And if you don't believe me -

Jersey Shore Thursdays @ 10pm on MTV.

#1. You don’t have ANY responsibilities.

•  EVEN if you have kids, someone else is taking care of them! You and your kids live at your mom’s, grandma’s, aunt’s, or all the above’s house. You don’t pay bills because you are perpetually “getting on your feet”. [What the fuck does that mean?]

#2. Anything you do is overachieving.

•  You don’t do shit...
  That’s it.

#C. It’s not your fault. They were just hating.

•  The cops were just hating on you when they busted your meth lab. It had to be your beggin ass neighbors, complaining because you went up on the price. So what if the neighbor’s shed on the other side of you blew up mysteriously a few months ago. That ain’t no reason to be snooping around. Trailer parks blow up all the time!

#Last. You don’t have to be on time.

•  This probably derives from not having responsibilities. No one expects you to be anywhere. So why would you get there on time?

Oh yeah. I ain’t stopping. How many people thought this was actually going to be positive? Niggers beware. I’m going harder than ever!

My Resolution

My brain’s been so scattered lately. So many adjustments. A lot of work. It’s all so worth it. I’m loving the pressure and enjoying the rewards! And then comes New Years…

Not being in L.A. had me thinking a bit about change. Now I can understand why we change our clocks twice a year. (It’s agrarian. [All about crops and farming] Look it up!)
But why is it exactly that the beginning of a New Year is the automatic life changing event of the year?

So many of us want to lose weight. Why is the coldest month of the year when you decide to go running? Is that very motivational?

Does it have to do with all the money we waste on spoiling bad children? [Not your children, of course. The other ones!] We feel bad so we have to readjust our lives? We have to reorganize our priorities? Maybe.

And not to hate on our festivities, but how well are we going to be able to hold onto these new habits if spend the night being fake at church or wake up with a hangover in a strange bed? I’m just askin’

Please believe I’m all for change and growth. I’m just a little skeptical on this one. My usual optimism is actually stepping out of the way on it’s on to ask – FOR REAL?

You gonna lose weight, again? You gonna shake them haters after you been drinking with them all night? You gonna start saving as soon as you get that refund check.

A friend of a friend said – “Let Go Of The BS...No Room For It In 2010!!!” @Scherell Irby [I gotta give EVERYONE their citations]. But then I asked myself, how many times have I heard that. Shit, I may have even said it myself! Why is that phrase so familiar? Have we been taking turns saying that Bull Shit for the last 10 years [At Least!]?

Can we stop? Can we make on final resolution? A big enough one to keep us challenged for years to come. Let’s take the pressure off ourselves. We have to lose 30 pounds then keep it off because we don’t want to have the same resolution next year. Then we have to start saving (after we buy Hummer with the children’s o’ so small college fund) and keep that going or else we’ll be broke and overweight. And then we have to keep shaking haters and trying not to meet weird people so we won’t have no haters next December to shake. You feeling the pressure yet? Does it make you want some cheesecake? You wanna go to the bar with some random assed drinking partners from Yahoo Friends? Are you fretting failing at three things and STILL having to come up with an original resolution 3 years from now. Are you imagining being broke, fat, and lonely? You getting it yet?

Maybe it’s just me. I’m a procrastinator. I set my own deadlines and break them. Maybe I need to stop and conform to societies rules on growth. Let me see if I can focus on that. One year to grow. Then another one. Then another one. What if my journey is a lifetime though? (See, I didn’t make it too long!) Maybe I need some Ritalin. PSYCHE!

How about next year, we take the time off to evaluate our progress on our journey. I don’t know about you all but it seems strange to see something not working in February and waiting until December to consider making a change. How about we just celebrate our continual growth? Thinking about celebrating where we’ve been and where we’re going seems a little like having two birthdays but this next New Years will officially be a group thing. We’ll each have our own birthdays then we’ll come together and celebrate each other’s accomplishments.

I think that sounds good. Like I said on New Year’s Eve, if you don’t know that I love you. I’ll spend all year (every year) showing you. So the celebration next year is going to be HUGE. As long as we all commit to loving each other more.

If you wake up looking at your workout gear then look past it to the window and see snow or rain or For The Love of Ray J on TV, don’t get discouraged. Grab the phone and call someone. Tell them you love them and let them love you back. Let’s stop spending our children’s college funds and start a business together. And at some point we all have to meet up and beat up some haters. I have a feeling though, when we get together the haters will magically disappear.

So what do think?

Good idea, Bad idea?

You Might Be A Nigger

[WARNING: The following contains fequent use of the “n” word. And by the “n” word I mean nigger. And I don't mean that in a good way!]

There are certain conversations I refuse to take part in with Black People. I don’t discuss oppression in groups. I wouldn’t talk about Obama’s campaign with people unfamiliar with him before 2006. (Admit it now! Most of you didn’t think it would happen. And don’t let me even pay homage to the conspiracy theories out there.) Speaking of which, I don’t do conspiracy theories. (OhMyGod! The inane pothead logic I have been subjected to recently…[I will go to re-hab for you!]) And, just recently, no Tiger Woods, no Serena. I never really asked myself why I avoided these certain conversations.
Then I saw and read “The Secret”. THEN I asked myself why and the answer was clear. I just don’t want to hear the negative Bull Shit! Before “The Secret”, I would wonder how someone could have money but still be with that nigger shit. I would figure they had some secret to be able to support such negativity and still come out ahead. But that’s not how it works. After “The Secret” I could see the same successful people bringing negativity upon them selves in the exact manner in which they would ask the universe for it. They would talk about people stealing and MORE people would steal. They would ask for people to sue them and they would! Then let’s not start talking about losing money! These are Bill Gates/Oprah people I’m talking about. These are hood rich people, ghetto fabulous people, people who live in the same neighborhood as me. These people are very dynamic and have accomplished a lot. But just being around them I can tell they have to ability to accomplish SO much more.
If only they could move forward…

All of these people were just like so many other unsuccessful people. They achieved a little success but that was the only difference. They were trapped just like their workers. Trapped by their own niggardom. Always looking over their shoulder for “The Man” to shut them down. No awareness of the abundance life has to offer. Scared to leave the familiar confines of the hood. Not scared to travel. But scared to step outside of the mental enslavement of niggardom. So that means niggers have been to all six major continents but as the saying goes…”You can take the boy out the hood, …”. (I don’t even want to finish) They are trapped by their fear of growth or change or new things.
The hardest part of practicing the Law of Abundance is reacting to negativity. It could be bad news or it could be negative people. As I struggled to stay positive, I noticed that everyone does. Except niggers. Niggers don’t struggle. Because, as we all know, niggers don’t like to work. Niggers like to cry about whatever is happening and wonder why nothing is changing for them. It is easy for so many niggers to get trapped in the vicious cycle of self-pity and despair. And we can’t be too hard on the niggers. They have a good excuse!
Willie Lynch.
[Sidenote: I don’t believe the person or letter ever existed. The effects of slavery on the Black community are apparent. And Willie Lynch is a symbol of those effects.]
As we all know, all a nigger needs is an excuse! Doesn’t even have to be one like Willie Lynch. And Willie Lynch is the best one ever. Willie Lynch allows niggers all over the world to hang on to their negativity. After all, it’s not their fault. They’ve been institutionalized.
I know it sounds harsh but I have been having the time of my life lately and it just keeps getting better. It makes me want to do everything I can to erase the negativity so that I can focus on growing the positive. Plus, I have less than a month to tell 100 niggers to get off my dick and get out of my life!
So people, be careful!
Life is good!
The only hard part is defeating the negativity that tries to distract us from growing our abundance. So if you find yourself embracing negative thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself why. You may be suffering the lingering effects of niggardom. Hell, you may in fact still be a nigger!


[If you read my previous posts you know that I don't use nigger to refer exclusively to Black people. So others, you all be careful too! Niggardom knows no color!]

It's Complicated

I almost forgot my dedication: dis one iz fo ma nigga Rollin Dee from da 213

I said I wouldn’t name any names so, let’s just say I have a friend named CJ. CJ got at me five years ago on MySpace. Over the past five years, CJ and I have become good friends. I had to cuss her out at first for trying to get at me. Then I gave her plenty of relationship advice. I’ve guided her through a myriad of low-lifes and random assed naked-dickers. She listens to most of it save one thing. CJ has been married for about nine years. Her husband has been in Iraq for the majority of the time. She and her husband married out of High School and haven’t been getting along for at least seven of those nine years. Today, she has “a boo” and her husband is home. He is routinely denied sex and even ridiculed in addition to watching his wife go out with another man. All the while, her relationship status has been listed as “married”.

I like to keep things simple. I’m going to call things like they are. While this is my friend, she knows she needs to get a divorce. For whatever reason, she hasn’t yet and until then, she knows I consider her a slut-bucket. She keeps it simple. No lying about who you are and no uncertainty about her situation. She is a whore bag. Her husband got the Iraq disease. And anyone who fucks with her knows he is going to hell for fucking another man’s wife. Simple.

That was life for me the past few years. I am a big subscriber to the K.I.S.S. school of thought. I Keep It Simple Stupid at all cost. There is no point in trying to over complicate things. All you are doing is trying to outsmart yourself. All you end up actually doing is looking insincere or retarded. So no matter how smart I feel I am, I always keep things as simple as possible.

So I’ve been noticing the networking sites lately have added a relationship option. The label – ‘It’s Complicated’ – has me all thrown off! Initially, I wanted to go with the flow, accept this new relationship status and imagine there is someone with a crazier situation than CJ. But then, Fuck that! What is so difficult to explain about your situation that you have to add another classification? You are either Married, Single, In a Relationship, Divorced, Widowed or Slore (Slut-Whore).

So I asked. I asked individually. I asked the whole of FaceBook. Getting answers was not so easy. It was always “a long story”. To the contrary, the few stories I did get weren’t that long at all. Most, if not all, were not that complicated at all. Some people were in long distance relationships. A lot were married and didn’t want to be. A few liked people who may or may not have liked them back. Most involved uncertainty about whether the other person wanted to be in a committed relationship with them. Contrary to my initial thoughts, nothing was crazier than CJ’s situation. Perhaps there really is a “Long Story” out there that truly is too “Complicated” to share.

They are likely to be all like this story:

Being involved with someone for almost 10 yrs of your life and to find out it was a waste of time. I use the word "involved" because there was never the "commitment" term used. We catered towards each other sexually and mentally, but the only time emotions got involved was when I threatened to leave him alone. The big break was when someone else got pregnant, that's when it hit me really hard that I was 2nd. Nothing he said made the hurt go away, not even her losing the child made the hurt go away. As long as I was within driving distance, the hurt continued, so I removed myself from the equation. The hurt slowly subsided, the blocking wall came down, and I could finally breathe, laugh and smile again. My mind thought is and always will be, is to never (knowly) be 2nd. Even if we are casually having sex, and you are entertaining the other woman more then me, then I am 2nd. Never again, only #1 for me....it took me a while, but I learned to REALLY LOVE ME!!!!!

The bottom line is all ALL relationships are complicated, if you want your life to be so. If you are married, it will be hard and you can quickly make it complicated, whether you like your spouse or not. I’m sure we all have “Long Stories” about being single. Getting your groove back after a divorce can be difficult. If we choose to, we can decide any situation is hard and allow our lives to become “Complicated”. But why?

Times are hard. We all have stories. Why make them “Long”? I always find relationships to be one thing that is easy to keep simple. People either like each other or they don’t. You either have a husband/wife/significant other or you want to be a slut puppy. Perhaps the complication comes from not wanting to be honest about your real intentions. There either is trust or there isn’t. Let’s keep it real though. I like you. You like me. Let’s fuck, date, get married, break-up, make-up, live together, go half on a baby, hold hands, whatever. What’s complicated about that?

The Naked-Dick Chronicles

(Another Re-Post) This is one of my favorite words. One day I will repost the full definition of the word. [Or you can check it out here:  In the meantime...



Michael Baisden, Dr. Eric Michael Dyson, and Rev. Al Sharpton (or the lady who filled in for him) all talked about being single, dating outside your race, and the pressure of Valentines day. People gave all kinds of reasons why there was pressure to get married, date inside or out of the race and/or get a date for Valentines day. Everything from Willie Lynch (no really-Willie Lynch) to OJ (not really) to "over-education" to standards too high or too low. Over nine hours, only one person mentioned probably the most important quality in looking for a mate. Patience…

Why can't we wait? Naked dickers can't wait for rubbers. Serial daters can't wait for that right person. And we all end up hopping from person to person. Hoping, longing for someone, anyone. But we can't wait for THE one.

Do we really believe that it'll be that easy to find one person in 300,000,000 people in this country and 7 billion in this world? Do I need to add settling as an addictive behavior? Maybe we need a rehab for settlers. If the world was filled with more patient people, many of us wouldn't be here. I'd be willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of us all getting it right. (Yes, that's right. As a child of divorce I too am the result of two impatient naked dickers) It's rampant people!

70% of African American women have children out of wedlock. 50% of African Americans have herpes.

People.

There is just too much naked-dickin going on! Are you that pressed? I know its good. And yes, it definitely feels better. But where is the self control? Where is the vision? Or better yet, where is the commitment to our own dreams? Are we supposed to accept this as unchanging fact?

Sex is like any other vice. Like gambling, certain lesser drugs, drinking or whatever you may be into, it's not for everyone. Some people don't have the self control to to participate in these acts. Gambling addicts don't gamble, drug addicts and alcoholics admit they are powerless and struggle to quit. Some do it by choice. Some are court ordered. Naked dickin should be considered in the same breath as gambling addicts, alcoholics and druggies. Perhaps, we should court order the naked dickers to enter sex rehab. Admit they have no control over the pussy or dick. Submit to the higher power (Wilt Chamberlain) And quit having sex.

Naked dickin is for married people. Like Casinos are for old people. (Vegas is for the young and rich but all the rest goes to the retired.) Like drinking is for the grown and sexy.

I sense as you all are reading this, there is someone out there who feels like this is them. If you feel like this is you. You feel like a rampant naked dicker. It's not too late! Submit yourself. Come to the front of the church. The ministers will lay hands on you and pray for your privates. Be born again in the Magnum spirit. Wilt Chamberlain is looking down on you and he wants to heal your privates. 
Come on down and join us!

Let us pray…

What I Learned About Church People Almost a Year Ago

(THIS IS PART TWO READ THE PREVIOUS ONE!)
December 31, 2008 - Wednesday

What I learned in Church
Current mood: determined
Category: Religion and Philosophy
.Many times the weaker of us reflect on what their parents/family did wrong or didn't do right as an excuse for where they are now. It is easy to let the immediate past block us from reflection on our ancestors. All of us have a past that includes many wars, genocides, plagues or any one of a million disasters, which could have ended our family trees long ago. We are descendent of survivors, of people with the vision and good fortune to prepare a future for us. We all have a purpose, which often includes the visions of our ancestors. We honor them by, at the very least, never giving up.

And the answer to my "Church People" question comes as soon as I return to church. (I was prepared to cuss out all of my readers for not giving me the answers) See how good God is!

The answer is - family.

Christmas threw me off with the scriptures for the week. I didn't get to read them on my own so, let's do it with out them this time. This is more about us as a collective of individuals anyway. In fact lets explore family. From Webster's:

1fam·i·ly

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English familie, from Latin familia household (including servants as well as kin of the householder), from famulus servant

Date: 15th century

1: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : household

2 a: a group of persons of common ancestry : clan b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : race

3 a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : fellowship b: the staff of a high official (as the President)

4: a group of things related by common characteristics: as a: a closely related series of elements or chemical compounds b: a group of soils with similar chemical and physical properties (as texture, pH, and mineral content) that comprise a category ranking above the series and below the subgroup in soil classification c: a group of related languages descended from a single ancestral language

5 a: the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children ; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family family> b: spouse and children family>

6 a: a group of related plants or animals forming a category ranking above a genus and below an order and usually comprising several to many genera bin livestock breeding (1): the descendants or line of a particular individual especially of some outstanding female (2): an identifiable strain within a breed

7: a set of curves or surfaces whose equations differ only in parameters

8: a unit of a crime syndicate (as the Mafia) operating within a geographic area

All this time the answer was right in front of my face. I have so many families. I have my real family (with little subsets with that), my work family, my MySpace family, My Facebook, my school, my local family, my Los Angeles fam, my New Orleans fam…

All of them have their distinct characteristics. I am tied to the members of each of those families by a common bond that is stronger than all the corruption and fakery that exists within ALL of my families. And I make an effort to be active or at least present in all of my families.

So what was my hold up with the one family which should have the strongest bond. I mean I could go through one through eight of the definition and only have trouble finding a connection using number seven. I can even do number eight! After all, I am catholic.

The way Deacon Chester described it is more simple: We may feel alone in the world for six days out of the week. On Sunday we know we can come "home" to our church family. We can feel safe within the confines of this gathering of like-minded individuals. In my church, that's actually one of the reasons I chose it. The uniformity of our worship ceremony is easily apparent and bonds us all together for an hour and a half.

So now that I want more, I guess I just deal with it the way I deal with all my other families. Learn who to deal with and who not to. The good thing about this church family is that when people try to latch onto me like they do in all my other families, at least they are people who are trying to live by a higher spiritual standard. If I have to dodge low-lifes anyway, it may as well be low –lifes who know how to pray.

Church People (From MySpace)

December 26, 2008 - Friday
(YOU HAVE TO READ THE NEXT ONE TOO!)

Current mood: cynical
Category: Religion and Philosophy


At the time of the 2004 indictment, Cross was teaching at DePaul University in Chicago.[7] On May 1, 2006, Cross pled guilty to fraud by embezzling millions of dollars in federal funds from the government and students.[8] She agreed to pay $11,000 to the Department of Education in restitution. Singh also pleaded guilty to one count of embezzlement.

The prosecutor, U.S. Attorney David Nahmias, made a somewhat exculpatory statement at their sentencing: "When the defendants arrived at Morris Brown, the college was already in serious financial condition. Thereafter, these defendants misappropriated ... money in fairly complicated ways in what appears to have been a misguided and ultimately criminal attempt to keep Morris Brown afloat."[3]





They (CBS 46, Atlanta) interviewed the wrong people. I had been struggling with missing the last few weeks of church and even on the recent weeks I did go, not being able to provide you all with an adequate blog.

As I was passing the TV in the living room, the news had an article about Morris Brown College closing down. I had to check it out. It turns out they had suffered from a recent loss of accreditation and embezzlement scandals. The enrollment was actually down to 107 students. Having gone to large and small schools – I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE THAT. They owe an over $300K water bill! WTF

And who did they interview – Church People.

In a city FULL of mega-churches with billions of dollars at their disposal, a school (the only, ONLY originally black college in Atlanta) founded by and affiliated with the A.M.E. church is not only having problems, IT"S CLOSING! It owes SO many people SO much money. It has NO students. You mean to tell me I pay tithes so these "prophets" (or is it "profits") can have bigger buildings, bigger cars, and bigger jets and historic institutions can just fade away like dust in the wind.

So, speaking of all that, I was asking myself why I was so hesitant to make it to church lately. I like my church. I want to be more active in it. But then, when it is time to sign my name on the "Time and Talent" form, I freeze up. This past month has made my phobia clear.

I don't want to become a "church person"

Let me tell you about church people-



Everywhere I've ever worked the concurrent idiom has been – do not serve church people. Since I was 14, church people don't tip. They want the most for the least. And they are not liable for anything. AND THEN, I moved to Atlanta. The buckle of the Bible belt.

Let's disregard the plethora of whores, cocksuckers and, to use my step-mother's favorite word growing up, hoochies who I've encountered since moving here. I want to get to the essence of church people.

It starts with a pastor who works where I work. I had just gotten here and respected the title when my cousin told me one of the mechanics at my job was a preacher…



…to hell with that.

What I encountered was nothing less than an African pimp hustling men and women (MAINLY women) out of their money. This married man of God obviously only has eyes for the demons between the legs of the congregation. This is the only man I encountered this past year who did not so much hear the words coming out of the Obama camp as he did notice the "fitting" dresses Michelle Obama was wearing. Some how where I notice only men fix cars and men bring in their daughters and wives' and sisters' cars, his only clientele is only women. AND they are all his "sisters" who look nothing like him. I don't know who you've been around but Africans have strong features and princes and princesses carry their parents features proudly.

But let me leave the "Pimp in the Pulpit" for now (I could go on forever on that demon) and focus on the congregation.

I have lost count of "favors" we've done for various church members. They have all turned out bad. And a few do stick out:

* There was "The Pimp in The Pulpit's" member who left her car on the lot for months while we searched for a reasonable priced differential. I initially thought we were just trying to save the lady money. Come to find out, the active church member had been filing insurance claims from an accident that happened two years ago. And The Pimp was helping her defraud the insurance company AGAIN. I only found out because The Pimp and the customer had filed the claim without our knowledge and the insurance company called the office to inform me the claim was denied AGAIN. - To date, The Pimp is still trying to get the money from the insurance company because, of course, the customer hasn't paid him or us anything.
* There is another church member who has abandoned their car here for the ENTIRE three years I have worked here.

And then –

* A member of my boss' church, who had bought a car from us before, had a great job, all her paperwork, all the Is dotted all the Ts crossed. Traded in a car, gave us the title plus the full down payment (which most customers never do). We set her up to pay monthly (which WE never do). She paid three out of her five payments and fell off the face of the earth. All of our calls went to voicemail. That is until we sent her to Repo. Mere seconds after the Repo Company received out fax, the Repo man calls excited. He has been looking for our customer for over a year. She owed a title pawn company for the very car she traded in to us. They were more than happy to take our car back from her. Suddenly, she called us. She "intended on paying us off tomorrow. Why did we send her to repo?" Of course, we got the car. She actually came and paid it off the next day. But not before bringing two other church members to tell me how bad a person I was. And of course, they promised to tell the pastor about my boss.

In all these cases, these aren't just people who go to the church. These are board members, Sunday school teachers, nursery helpers, office workers…really, really involved members of different churches. I could go on and on with stories but I just wanted to use a few examples to show why I am confused about what it means to be a church person. And this is not to say ALL church people are bad. My mom is a faithful member of her church and a true Christian person. My step-mom is another true Christian. My brother's mom is an excellent Muslim woman. Speaking of which, I have noticed people of religions and sects misrepresenting their churches.

So the question is how do I become more active in my church and avoid all the BS of being a "Church Member"? Or better yet, how do I stand being around all the other "Church Members" once I do become more active in the church?
By the way, Morris Brown has alumni. However, if my Black College experiences are any indication, I know why these successful men and women have turned their back on their alma mater.

The college's alumni include military officers, actors, authors and civil rights leaders such as the late Hosea Williams. (AJC)